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Stories of the Southern Sea
It lives in the hole where
the moon used to be. And
for most of the worst part
of the northern winter, over
the last two decades, so
have we.
The real South Pacific was
not a Bali Hai musical, but a
drama of cannibals and
castaways, headhunters and
slavers, paradise and
perdition.
This is a book of saline
psalms. This is water.
Amnesia
“Balboa found the Pacific
and on the trail one day
he met some friendly
Indians whom he was told
were gay
So...
he had them torn apart
by dogs on religious
grounds they say
the great nations of
Europe were quite holy in
their way...”
Castaways
“Ese era su cueva, allí.”
Said one of the
lobstermen. That was
his cave, there.
Tide Table
“It seems like most
Chilote myths were
oceanic.” I said. Miguel
smiled.
“From the bottom of the
sea to the floor of the
forest, every act of life
was governed by the
brujos’ witchcraft, and
their magical
creatures.”
Headhunting in Kansas
When the men were
finally allowed back into
the village, they were
met by jealous and
possessed women, who
tried to steal or bite the
heads.
Fiji Bitter
“I think this one used to
be a clown.” He said.
“A clown?” I asked.
“Yeah.” He said. “Tastes
funny.”
The Most Beautiful Beach in the World
On my plate, it looked
like someone had
dismembered a large
bat, and tried to
reassemble it with yams
and taro and island
cabbage. It was never
going to fly again.
Prow of the Canoe
I formed a mental image
of a nguzunguzu,
mounted near the
waterline on the prow,
so that it dipping in and
out of the water, picking
up spiritual momentum,
and guarding against
hostile spirits, with each
stroke of twenty
paddles.
Alice in Wonderland
To get to where Alice was,
you needed to get beyond
Monique, and to get
beyond Monique, you
needed to get to Sylvanna.
To get to Sylvanna, you
needed to get through
Rose. To get to Rose, you
needed to get through
Immigration, and to get
through Immigration, you
needed to get your pack off
the slowest carousel in the
world.
Storyboarded
There is nothing to tell
you when the ocean will
begin, except the soft
recoil of deceleration,
far too slow to turn
back now. The water
tastes like blood, and it
should, for we come
from it, and your
bubbles escape while
they still can.
Big Money
The people of Yap have a
long history of making
big money the hard
way. But the real big
money, is coming down
the tree, head first.
Pepper, Palisades and Pearls
“ We looked around and saw the
dogs. All their throats had
been simultaneously cut and
their bodies, still breathing,
pierced with rods, were
turning on those pits. The
chief insisted we join in the
meal but Marina had turned
green and I asked if we could
just have ours to go. They
carefully wrapped the dogs in
leaves and we carried
their bodies away.”
Happy Lucky Welcome Fun
It’s not as if the
Americans were
deliberately trying to kill
them. It was simply that
they were measuring
how they would die, in
the lethal environment
they had decided to
create for them.
Mysterious Paradise of Mud
I asked the lady next to
me.
“Why do they call it the
mysterious paradise
island?”
“I don’t know.” She said.
“So that’s why.” I thought.
Aground in the Abode of Love
You know you’ve arrived
in Polynesian waters
when the vowels begin
to drown the
consonants.
Fara Way
“Fara.” Said Julie. “So
much fun.” And she was
gone. And then, for an
hour or so, so were we.
My eyes were just
beginning to wobble,
and then I heard it, just
once.
Strummummummummumm.
A Proud and Caring People
He rolled out of the Holden
like he had been freed from
its frame, looking up the hill
at his namesake on the AA
sign, and smiling, like
Samoans smile. He whipped
off his hi-flow cat tinted
sunglasses and, after a long
Pacific pause, put out a
brick-like hand for me to
shake.
“Equator.” He said. And why
not.
One Foot
All our clothes came off,
and would only come
back on for the two
hours every morning
when we attended the
wedding in our front
yard. We abandoned
time, but it would keep
track of us, counting
down paradise.
Luxury Link
“Pull up a chair.” Said the
old guy with the silver
crew cut. “Swing in.
Swing in.” He was
sporting two small
airline bottles of José
Cuero tequila, and a
grey sweatshirt.
Hammered and Happy.
Birdman
Later, I dreamt. Of trees
and frangipanis and fish
and ice cream, and eggs
unbroken.
Ghosts of the Rock
The geckos on the roof of
the restaurant that
evening flew into a
feeding frenzy, on the
gigantic triangular moths
that had taken refuge
around the lights, in the
overhanging eaves above.
Moth juice fell into our
wine glasses, and onto
our lamb dinners.
The Blood in Wineglass Bay
Tasmania, haunted by
extinction, was the first
place in the Southern
Sea where the
headhunters and the
cannibals had been the
white guys.
A Speck under the Forefinger of God
The real decadence
returned in my dreams,
with visions of
bloodstains between
the grains, seeping
through the creamed
rice.
White Villa Blues
“You’ve never even seen
this place you bought” He
said. “You want to live in
Northland?” I responded
with another question.
“Why not?” I asked.
“There’s history, and I
think we’ve found the
perfect quiet place.”
“It won’t be quiet, mate.”
He said. “And you’ll have
more history than you
can handle.”
The Author
Lawrence Winkler is an ancient
physician and phenomenologist,
traveler, mushroom forager, and
natural philosopher. As a young
man, he hitchhiked around the
world, for five transformative
years.
His middle age is morphing from
medicine to manuscript. He has a
passion for habitat protection,
including the (hopefully) final
repairs on a leaky roof. Westwood
Lake Chronicles was his first book.
He lives on Vancouver Island with
Robyn, tending their garden and
vineyard, and dreams.

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Stories of the Southern Sea1

  • 1. Stories of the Southern Sea It lives in the hole where the moon used to be. And for most of the worst part of the northern winter, over the last two decades, so have we. The real South Pacific was not a Bali Hai musical, but a drama of cannibals and castaways, headhunters and slavers, paradise and perdition. This is a book of saline psalms. This is water.
  • 2. Amnesia “Balboa found the Pacific and on the trail one day he met some friendly Indians whom he was told were gay So... he had them torn apart by dogs on religious grounds they say the great nations of Europe were quite holy in their way...”
  • 3. Castaways “Ese era su cueva, allí.” Said one of the lobstermen. That was his cave, there.
  • 4. Tide Table “It seems like most Chilote myths were oceanic.” I said. Miguel smiled. “From the bottom of the sea to the floor of the forest, every act of life was governed by the brujos’ witchcraft, and their magical creatures.”
  • 5. Headhunting in Kansas When the men were finally allowed back into the village, they were met by jealous and possessed women, who tried to steal or bite the heads.
  • 6. Fiji Bitter “I think this one used to be a clown.” He said. “A clown?” I asked. “Yeah.” He said. “Tastes funny.”
  • 7. The Most Beautiful Beach in the World On my plate, it looked like someone had dismembered a large bat, and tried to reassemble it with yams and taro and island cabbage. It was never going to fly again.
  • 8. Prow of the Canoe I formed a mental image of a nguzunguzu, mounted near the waterline on the prow, so that it dipping in and out of the water, picking up spiritual momentum, and guarding against hostile spirits, with each stroke of twenty paddles.
  • 9. Alice in Wonderland To get to where Alice was, you needed to get beyond Monique, and to get beyond Monique, you needed to get to Sylvanna. To get to Sylvanna, you needed to get through Rose. To get to Rose, you needed to get through Immigration, and to get through Immigration, you needed to get your pack off the slowest carousel in the world.
  • 10. Storyboarded There is nothing to tell you when the ocean will begin, except the soft recoil of deceleration, far too slow to turn back now. The water tastes like blood, and it should, for we come from it, and your bubbles escape while they still can.
  • 11. Big Money The people of Yap have a long history of making big money the hard way. But the real big money, is coming down the tree, head first.
  • 12. Pepper, Palisades and Pearls “ We looked around and saw the dogs. All their throats had been simultaneously cut and their bodies, still breathing, pierced with rods, were turning on those pits. The chief insisted we join in the meal but Marina had turned green and I asked if we could just have ours to go. They carefully wrapped the dogs in leaves and we carried their bodies away.”
  • 13. Happy Lucky Welcome Fun It’s not as if the Americans were deliberately trying to kill them. It was simply that they were measuring how they would die, in the lethal environment they had decided to create for them.
  • 14. Mysterious Paradise of Mud I asked the lady next to me. “Why do they call it the mysterious paradise island?” “I don’t know.” She said. “So that’s why.” I thought.
  • 15. Aground in the Abode of Love You know you’ve arrived in Polynesian waters when the vowels begin to drown the consonants.
  • 16. Fara Way “Fara.” Said Julie. “So much fun.” And she was gone. And then, for an hour or so, so were we. My eyes were just beginning to wobble, and then I heard it, just once. Strummummummummumm.
  • 17. A Proud and Caring People He rolled out of the Holden like he had been freed from its frame, looking up the hill at his namesake on the AA sign, and smiling, like Samoans smile. He whipped off his hi-flow cat tinted sunglasses and, after a long Pacific pause, put out a brick-like hand for me to shake. “Equator.” He said. And why not.
  • 18. One Foot All our clothes came off, and would only come back on for the two hours every morning when we attended the wedding in our front yard. We abandoned time, but it would keep track of us, counting down paradise.
  • 19. Luxury Link “Pull up a chair.” Said the old guy with the silver crew cut. “Swing in. Swing in.” He was sporting two small airline bottles of José Cuero tequila, and a grey sweatshirt. Hammered and Happy.
  • 20. Birdman Later, I dreamt. Of trees and frangipanis and fish and ice cream, and eggs unbroken.
  • 21. Ghosts of the Rock The geckos on the roof of the restaurant that evening flew into a feeding frenzy, on the gigantic triangular moths that had taken refuge around the lights, in the overhanging eaves above. Moth juice fell into our wine glasses, and onto our lamb dinners.
  • 22. The Blood in Wineglass Bay Tasmania, haunted by extinction, was the first place in the Southern Sea where the headhunters and the cannibals had been the white guys.
  • 23. A Speck under the Forefinger of God The real decadence returned in my dreams, with visions of bloodstains between the grains, seeping through the creamed rice.
  • 24. White Villa Blues “You’ve never even seen this place you bought” He said. “You want to live in Northland?” I responded with another question. “Why not?” I asked. “There’s history, and I think we’ve found the perfect quiet place.” “It won’t be quiet, mate.” He said. “And you’ll have more history than you can handle.”
  • 25. The Author Lawrence Winkler is an ancient physician and phenomenologist, traveler, mushroom forager, and natural philosopher. As a young man, he hitchhiked around the world, for five transformative years. His middle age is morphing from medicine to manuscript. He has a passion for habitat protection, including the (hopefully) final repairs on a leaky roof. Westwood Lake Chronicles was his first book. He lives on Vancouver Island with Robyn, tending their garden and vineyard, and dreams.