ANI-MAN Script

                                                           INT.OFFICE.Day

                                 1: The Office

Sound: Office phone ringing

                                    HOWARD:

Hello you’ve reached internet servicing help line, my name is Howard
  and how can I help? No. No. No. Yes. I don’t know. No. Thank you,
                              good bye.

                                  MR STEVENS:

                                    Howard!

Sound: Howard Yelps

                                    HOWARD:

                                   Yes sir.

                                  MR STEVENS:

 Howard for God’s sake, you can’t just talk to customers like that.
          You need more energy, more commitment…more pazaz!

                                    HOWARD:

                              Yes sir. Sorry Sir.

                                  MR STEVENS:

Come on Howard, a few hard years of commitment and you could be just
  like me. A great job, great salary, gorgeous wife… How is Debbie
                               anyway?

                                    HOWARD:

                                 She left me.

                                  MR STEVENS:

Oh. Hah, well chin up sunshine. As I say, few years’ time, you could
          be in the big chair, with all the woman you want!

                                    HOWARD:

                 Yes sir. Thank you, sir. I’ll be off now sir.

Sound: Howard’s footsteps walking away from his desk.

                                  MR STEVENS:
Sort out that attitude boy, I’ll see you in the morning.

                                              EXT.HIGH STREET.EVENING

                           2: The Walk Home

Sound: Busy traffic in the streets as Howard walks through the
crowded side walk back to his flat.

               NARRATOR: (Calm and measurable voice)

    As Howard bumps through the crowded streets he pulls out the
                newspaper he collected on the train.

Sound: Opening Newspaper

He opens it to a random page and begins to read. He learns that the
zoo close to his home had burnt down and several animals had either
                         died of escaped.

Sound: Throwing away the newspaper and entering the tattoo parlour.
As he opens the door a bell rings. The buzzing of a tattoo needle
can be heard.

Closer to his home Howard bins the newspaper and enters the tattoo
parlour that is situated beneath his flat. Once outside his flat he
 struggles to find his keys amongst all the crap in his briefcase.

                               HOWARD:

     Arghh where are my keys. Every bloody day they always go…

Sound: Something smashes from inside his apartment. He puts the key
in the door in the door and quickly unlocks it.

                              NARRATOR:

              Howard scans his flat for any intruders.



                               HOWARD:

         Snoop?! Are you in here?! Here boy, where are you?

                               SNOOP:

  Ahhhh Howard you’re back man! Good day at the office, get all the
work done? Good. Well we have a little situation here, now don’t get
  mad. You won’t get mad but here it is. Well you might be mad, but
                           let me explain.

                               HOWARD:

             Snoop! Shut up, chillax. What’s going on?
SNOOP:

            Well you know about how the zoo burnt down?

                              HOWARD:

 Yeah, I just read about it in the paper… What have you done?! You
                        burnt down the zoo!

                               SNOOP:

 No! Of course not. But these guys came to the door, with nowhere to
go and no family. So I said they could stay here until you came back
                        and made a decision.

                              HOWARD:

                                Who?

Sound: Snoop scuttles over to the kitchen door and opens it.

                             NARRATOR:

 As Snoop opens the door, four small zoo animals are all sat on the
                 kitchen floor peering up at Howard.

                               SNOOP:

        Howard, this is Gunther, a very intelligent meerkat.

                              GUNTHER:

Sound: Gunther squeaks at Howard in an innocent manner.

                               SNOOP:

                   And this is Castro, the badger.

                              Castro:

                             Hello sir.

                               SNOOP:

           Here we have Rufus, a very wise old tortoise.

                               RUFUS:

                     Good afternoon young man.

                               SNOOP:

            And last we have Sargent Snips. He’s a crab.

                               SNIPS:
What you looking at?!

                              HOWARD:

No way! Snoop, I can barely deal with you here! Absolutely not, they
                          cannot live here.

                               SNOOP:

     Come on… They’re totally clean, you’ll barely notice them.

                              HOWARD:

               One of them has crapped on the floor!

                               SNIPS:

                            That was me.

                              HOWARD:

                               What!?

                               SNIPS:

                            I’m off for nap.

                              HOWARD:

                            Oh come on.

                              GUNTHER:

                          I’ve pooped too.

                              HOWARD:

                            Oh come on!

                             NARRATOR:

After Howard spent minutes revising the poo, he went into the living
 room to watch Deal or no Deal. Unfortunately, when he got there all
  the animals had taken up all the sofa space. Snips was sat in his
                           favourite seat.

                              HOWARD:

              Move it crab, that’s my favourite seat.

Sound: Snips snips Howard’s finger.

                              HOWARD:

                           Ow you little…
SNIPS:

                 Jog on scrawny, this is my chair.

                             NARRATOR:

   Enraged with anger, Howard decides to sit on the floor next to
                               Rufus.

                              HOWARD:

                   What the hell is his problem?

                               RUFUS:

                   Well he was there first Henry.

                              HOWARD:

                              Howard.

                               RUFUS:

   Whatever. In the war, it was every man for himself. No faffing
                   around cleaning up animal poo.

                              HOWARD:

               Ok then… I’m going to sit over there.



                             NARRATOR:

   Howard bum shuffles across the carpet in front of the tv. This
                 doesn’t bode well with the animals.

Sound: All the animals make a fuss about Howard being in front of
the TV.

                               SNIPS:

                    Out the way you skinny tool.

                              CASTRO:

                         Move it, move it!

                              HOWARD:

                        Ok, ok. I’m moving.

                             NARRATOR:

After taking all the grief Howard perches uncomfortably on the floor
                           next to Snoop.
SNOOP:

See, they’re not so bad. I think we’re all going to get along really
                                well.

Sound: Howard sighs.

                             NARRATOR:

Howard’s turns to look at all the animals, their eyes all fixated on
  the TV. Except for Snips who’s eyes momentarily turn in Howard’s
 direction only to raise a middle claw at him before turning back to
                               the TV.

                                                      INT.FLAT.NIGHT

                       3. The Sticky Situation

                             NARRATOR:

   Everyone is still in the living room at 9:30 watching excessive
  amounts of Deal or no Deal. The whole of Howard’s small, cramped
 living room is covered in popcorn and crushed Doritos. After hours
  of Howard sitting uncomfortably he finally decides to get on with
the work for the big presentation in the morning. Meandering through
all the mess on route to the front door, he finds his briefcase open
 exactly where he dropped it when he walked in. Slamming it shut, he
 takes the briefcase into his bedroom to complete the work. When he
 opens the case he realises that the paperwork he needs isn’t there.
     He automatically assumes the animals have tampered with it.

                              HOWARD:

Right! Who’s touched it? I know it was one of you little fur balls,
                   own up before I kick you out.

                               RUFUS:

                       I don’t have any fur.

                               SNIPS:

                           Neither do I.

                              HOWARD:

Shut up! Just shut up you bunch of idiots. Now where are my papers?

                              CASTRO:

 Howard, calm down you fool. They’ll turn up. Now I’m going to get
                 some rest. Where are my quarters?

                              HOWARD:
You can sleep outside you little rodent if you don’t find my papers.

                              CASTRO:

                               Well…

                             NARRATOR:

   Castro turns his nose up at Howard and promptly walks into the
      kitchen and settles down in the cupboard under the sink.



                                                        INT.FLAT.NIGHT

                            4. The Night

                             NARRATOR:

  After several minutes of searching Howard eventually gives up and
expects the worst. As he gets into bed he can still hear the animals
   making a lot of noise from the next room. Whilst putting on his
          pyjamas, Howard awkwardly crawls under his duvet.

                              HOWARD:

                          Bloody animals.

Sound: Howard rolls over in his duvet and begins to snore.

                                                    INT.FLAT.MORNING



                        5. The Morning After

Sound: Howards alarm goes off and he switches it off.

                              HOWARD:

   Oh god. Oh god. Right, bloody animals, what am I going to do!

                             NARRATOR:

 Whilst Howard is putting on his shirt he keeps scanning the bedroom
for his paperwork. But no luck. When Howard goes in to the bathroom,
   he notices the cupboard under the sink is wide open. He goes to
   close it but suddenly finds Gunther asleep underneath a pile of
  paperwork. He scans through the papers and realises they have all
                     been completed, perfectly.

                              HOWARD:

              Meerkat! Wake up, did you do this work?
NARRATOR:

                        Gunther didn’t move.

Sound: Howard has a mild chuckle.

                                NARRATOR:

  Shoving all the papers in his briefcase, Howard runs out the door
half dressed, tip toeing through the scattered animals in the living
                                room.

Sound: Howard slams the door.

Script for animan

  • 1.
    ANI-MAN Script INT.OFFICE.Day 1: The Office Sound: Office phone ringing HOWARD: Hello you’ve reached internet servicing help line, my name is Howard and how can I help? No. No. No. Yes. I don’t know. No. Thank you, good bye. MR STEVENS: Howard! Sound: Howard Yelps HOWARD: Yes sir. MR STEVENS: Howard for God’s sake, you can’t just talk to customers like that. You need more energy, more commitment…more pazaz! HOWARD: Yes sir. Sorry Sir. MR STEVENS: Come on Howard, a few hard years of commitment and you could be just like me. A great job, great salary, gorgeous wife… How is Debbie anyway? HOWARD: She left me. MR STEVENS: Oh. Hah, well chin up sunshine. As I say, few years’ time, you could be in the big chair, with all the woman you want! HOWARD: Yes sir. Thank you, sir. I’ll be off now sir. Sound: Howard’s footsteps walking away from his desk. MR STEVENS:
  • 2.
    Sort out thatattitude boy, I’ll see you in the morning. EXT.HIGH STREET.EVENING 2: The Walk Home Sound: Busy traffic in the streets as Howard walks through the crowded side walk back to his flat. NARRATOR: (Calm and measurable voice) As Howard bumps through the crowded streets he pulls out the newspaper he collected on the train. Sound: Opening Newspaper He opens it to a random page and begins to read. He learns that the zoo close to his home had burnt down and several animals had either died of escaped. Sound: Throwing away the newspaper and entering the tattoo parlour. As he opens the door a bell rings. The buzzing of a tattoo needle can be heard. Closer to his home Howard bins the newspaper and enters the tattoo parlour that is situated beneath his flat. Once outside his flat he struggles to find his keys amongst all the crap in his briefcase. HOWARD: Arghh where are my keys. Every bloody day they always go… Sound: Something smashes from inside his apartment. He puts the key in the door in the door and quickly unlocks it. NARRATOR: Howard scans his flat for any intruders. HOWARD: Snoop?! Are you in here?! Here boy, where are you? SNOOP: Ahhhh Howard you’re back man! Good day at the office, get all the work done? Good. Well we have a little situation here, now don’t get mad. You won’t get mad but here it is. Well you might be mad, but let me explain. HOWARD: Snoop! Shut up, chillax. What’s going on?
  • 3.
    SNOOP: Well you know about how the zoo burnt down? HOWARD: Yeah, I just read about it in the paper… What have you done?! You burnt down the zoo! SNOOP: No! Of course not. But these guys came to the door, with nowhere to go and no family. So I said they could stay here until you came back and made a decision. HOWARD: Who? Sound: Snoop scuttles over to the kitchen door and opens it. NARRATOR: As Snoop opens the door, four small zoo animals are all sat on the kitchen floor peering up at Howard. SNOOP: Howard, this is Gunther, a very intelligent meerkat. GUNTHER: Sound: Gunther squeaks at Howard in an innocent manner. SNOOP: And this is Castro, the badger. Castro: Hello sir. SNOOP: Here we have Rufus, a very wise old tortoise. RUFUS: Good afternoon young man. SNOOP: And last we have Sargent Snips. He’s a crab. SNIPS:
  • 4.
    What you lookingat?! HOWARD: No way! Snoop, I can barely deal with you here! Absolutely not, they cannot live here. SNOOP: Come on… They’re totally clean, you’ll barely notice them. HOWARD: One of them has crapped on the floor! SNIPS: That was me. HOWARD: What!? SNIPS: I’m off for nap. HOWARD: Oh come on. GUNTHER: I’ve pooped too. HOWARD: Oh come on! NARRATOR: After Howard spent minutes revising the poo, he went into the living room to watch Deal or no Deal. Unfortunately, when he got there all the animals had taken up all the sofa space. Snips was sat in his favourite seat. HOWARD: Move it crab, that’s my favourite seat. Sound: Snips snips Howard’s finger. HOWARD: Ow you little…
  • 5.
    SNIPS: Jog on scrawny, this is my chair. NARRATOR: Enraged with anger, Howard decides to sit on the floor next to Rufus. HOWARD: What the hell is his problem? RUFUS: Well he was there first Henry. HOWARD: Howard. RUFUS: Whatever. In the war, it was every man for himself. No faffing around cleaning up animal poo. HOWARD: Ok then… I’m going to sit over there. NARRATOR: Howard bum shuffles across the carpet in front of the tv. This doesn’t bode well with the animals. Sound: All the animals make a fuss about Howard being in front of the TV. SNIPS: Out the way you skinny tool. CASTRO: Move it, move it! HOWARD: Ok, ok. I’m moving. NARRATOR: After taking all the grief Howard perches uncomfortably on the floor next to Snoop.
  • 6.
    SNOOP: See, they’re notso bad. I think we’re all going to get along really well. Sound: Howard sighs. NARRATOR: Howard’s turns to look at all the animals, their eyes all fixated on the TV. Except for Snips who’s eyes momentarily turn in Howard’s direction only to raise a middle claw at him before turning back to the TV. INT.FLAT.NIGHT 3. The Sticky Situation NARRATOR: Everyone is still in the living room at 9:30 watching excessive amounts of Deal or no Deal. The whole of Howard’s small, cramped living room is covered in popcorn and crushed Doritos. After hours of Howard sitting uncomfortably he finally decides to get on with the work for the big presentation in the morning. Meandering through all the mess on route to the front door, he finds his briefcase open exactly where he dropped it when he walked in. Slamming it shut, he takes the briefcase into his bedroom to complete the work. When he opens the case he realises that the paperwork he needs isn’t there. He automatically assumes the animals have tampered with it. HOWARD: Right! Who’s touched it? I know it was one of you little fur balls, own up before I kick you out. RUFUS: I don’t have any fur. SNIPS: Neither do I. HOWARD: Shut up! Just shut up you bunch of idiots. Now where are my papers? CASTRO: Howard, calm down you fool. They’ll turn up. Now I’m going to get some rest. Where are my quarters? HOWARD:
  • 7.
    You can sleepoutside you little rodent if you don’t find my papers. CASTRO: Well… NARRATOR: Castro turns his nose up at Howard and promptly walks into the kitchen and settles down in the cupboard under the sink. INT.FLAT.NIGHT 4. The Night NARRATOR: After several minutes of searching Howard eventually gives up and expects the worst. As he gets into bed he can still hear the animals making a lot of noise from the next room. Whilst putting on his pyjamas, Howard awkwardly crawls under his duvet. HOWARD: Bloody animals. Sound: Howard rolls over in his duvet and begins to snore. INT.FLAT.MORNING 5. The Morning After Sound: Howards alarm goes off and he switches it off. HOWARD: Oh god. Oh god. Right, bloody animals, what am I going to do! NARRATOR: Whilst Howard is putting on his shirt he keeps scanning the bedroom for his paperwork. But no luck. When Howard goes in to the bathroom, he notices the cupboard under the sink is wide open. He goes to close it but suddenly finds Gunther asleep underneath a pile of paperwork. He scans through the papers and realises they have all been completed, perfectly. HOWARD: Meerkat! Wake up, did you do this work?
  • 8.
    NARRATOR: Gunther didn’t move. Sound: Howard has a mild chuckle. NARRATOR: Shoving all the papers in his briefcase, Howard runs out the door half dressed, tip toeing through the scattered animals in the living room. Sound: Howard slams the door.