This poem describes stereotypical behaviors of "real men" according to the author. It suggests that real men don't engage in traditionally romantic gestures like bringing flowers or chocolate, don't use affectionate terms, keep their feelings unclear, and treat women in a casual, sometimes brusque manner rather than as delicate objects of affection. The overall tone is one of mocking traditionally masculine behaviors and expectations.

1. Real men

2. Real men don’t eat quiche They don’t whisper in your ear They make you want to rant and rave Cos their meaning‘s never clear

3. Real men don’t bring roses They’ll bring wine and then some beer They’ll thumb their noses at posies But endorse riotous good cheer

4. Real men don’t get mushy They treat you as a chum They bus you briefly on the lips Then they’ll slap you on the bum

5. Real men don’t make revelations They never self declare Nor are they into deprecation True compliments are rare

6. Real men don’t bring chocolates They don’t call you love or dear But they always reach out to touch you When you’re standing near

7. Real men never pamper Never pander to your whim You have to stand on your own two feet So you can get stuck into him