Alexei Orlov reflects on the challenges of the past year, including emotional turmoil caused by major life events, deception that led to financial loss, and a close friend's illness. However, he also founded a successful business network. He hopes to use difficult experiences to become a better person by focusing on small acts of gratitude each day, such as smiling at others and thanking people. Ultimately, he wants to turn past hardships into opportunities to help others less fortunate.

1. Protecting Myself from Myself
Doing better in a challenging world.
By Alexei Orlov

2. The sun slowly came up like a faithful friend, distantly approaching.
I wrote this in the quiet morning of New Year’s Day, putting pen to paper
while sitting in my car and looking out to the magnificently quiet beaches
of Connecticut.
For me, putting thoughts to paper is a catharsis — time I need to soothe
the tempests that often burden me. These are notes to myself, but while I
do not presume to know you, I hope that some of my thoughts might rest
well with you, too. Or, perhaps you might pass this along to someone who
might find a moment of quietness and comfort in knowing they are not
alone when it comes to fears, doubt, and wondering

3. New Year’s Eve brings out so many wishes, hopes, and
loud cheeriness. The night is so easily beguiling and
infectious; the crowds amass. The elation is a drug
that we must take to help us to look with hope to the
future. It is as if in this one magic moment, all of the
good of the past year will carry forward, while all the
rest will be left behind, deleted, cleansed, forgiven, and
forgotten.
As the skies lit up with fireworks and the shouts and
laughter of the crowd climbed into the air, I could not
help but wonder how many in those crowds were
heartbroken and afraid for the emptiness of their
tomorrows—living a life so lonely, even as they stand
wholly surrounded.

4. Somehow, I feel like some grumbling old fool—but I promise, that is not the case. Yet, in many
ways, I dislike the superficiality of the "Happy New Year." What I truly want is the wealth of
many good days and memories that I can be grateful for. If I can give this to others in turn, then
all the better.
These thoughts bring to mind a lovely Charlie Brown cartoon. In the panels, Charlie and Snoopy
sit side-by-side, looking up at the stars.
"We only live once, Snoopy," Charlie Brown says.
Snoopy pauses. "Wrong," he counters. "We only die once. We live every day."

5. Over the past four years, I feel like I have lived a few
lifetimes. I have enjoyed incredible highs and exceptional
lows. In summary and this order:
I faced major life events that caused me significant
emotional turmoil.
Notwithstanding the above, I founded and launched a Global
New Brand Activation Network.
Two people I had trusted deceived me, causing a near-fatal
loss of millions of dollars.
My best friend, the light of my life, began fighting a
life-threatening illness.
While success has come, the mountains I have had to climb
to find it have been cruelly steep. Still, the ground before me
often seems deadly, with its ever-prevailing cold swirl of fog
intent on forcing a stumble.

6. Had I given enough time to process? Did I truly listen
to my inner voice? Maybe I could have found other
paths, one that would not have prompted others to
do me harm. Sometimes, the collective voices of the
many are not as powerful as the inner whispering of
self.
However, I have found a way to turn that poison into
medicine. My past experiences have helped me to
reset many things within; the quieter, reflective me
has also helped my family to move forward. In the
end, they came to understand that their lives did not
have to be filled with anger—not when time would
take care of everything in the end.
Giving time to time is often the best grace we can
discover.

7. I wonder how they celebrated the New Year; if they for one moment thought about
all the people they injured. I wonder if the word "sorry" even came into their hearts
and minds. Alas, I don’t think so, as their subsequent behaviour shows that in the
end, it is not what people say, but what they do, that defines the depth of them.
And as if all this were not enough came the news of my beloved. So brave, powerful,
unselfish, dignified. She is the light of my life—now fighting to hold together, to
continue to live and love her family.
So, no, I have not known a Happy New Year for some time. And yet—I have known
fantastic victories and wonderful days, precious islands of calm. I have met
amazing people. I am blessed with incredible friends and partners. I am surrounded
by love and kindness.
And yet, all too often I have observed, but not seen. This thought reminds me of a
beautiful poem by Rudyard Kipling, “The Thousandth Man.” In it, a journeyman
tells his fellow traveller that despite all things, he stands eternal in his love and
forgiveness.

8. So why am I committing this to paper? I do so in
the hope that it gives me a focus and a reminder.
Yes, I’ve had a reasonably distinguished career.
I’ve experienced countless opportunities and
have been able to play my part in the story of
many successful brands and companies. I am
genuinely grateful for that—but I am not thankful
for every experience I have had.
I can allow that mix of experiences to fester, or I
can use it to the good. All medicine can also be
poison. I chose to turn the poison into something
that can heal and help me to become a better
person, a better leader, a better friend.

9. What can I do right now? I can—and will—give my thanks for
every day.
I will try to do one good thing every day.
I will try to smile for somebody.
I will remember to thank somebody.
I will be thankful for the happier minutes in the hour, no matter
how small they may be.
I will continue to take time to understand and embrace "human
difference"—not so that I can be intellectually empathetic, but
rather lean in. I will do all I can to ensure that those I impact
know that I see them—and that I am listening.
No "status quo" will deny me from trying to pivot, fix, and help
those less fortunate than me. I know words have power, but
actions empower.
I will resist any "man-made rules of engagement"; I will look
for the fair, decent, and kind parameters in which to live my life
and to allow others to engage with me so that together we can
do better.

10. And all too often, I will fail. I will try to reset
and reset, for I am human and thus
imperfect.
I don’t know what the next week will bring.
But as it comes, I will ensure that even in the
dark days, stop, breathe, and consider.
Finally, I will continue each day to look at the
little cutting I pasted in a notebook that I
carry around. They are the words of Nelson
Mandela, one of the finest men I ever had
the privilege of meeting, a man who truly
knew the power that every day held to
conquer years.
May your choices reflect your hopes, not
your fears.

11. Thanks for Reading!
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