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had happened; they too were horri­
                                                                                              fied. I contacted an attorney, a family
          Twenty-three-year-old Anya Alvarez                                                  friend, to see ifI could take legal
                                                                                              action. I'd agreed to safe sex, not
          w as hookinguI~ with aJ2gtential new 
                                              unprotected sex. The more I thought
                BF when he pulled a move 
                                                    about it, the more it seemed like this
                                                                                              was a form of assault or fraud that
           so ho~gthat she's d~tennined                                  
                    shouldn't go unpunished.
                    to make it illegal. 
                                                        The attorney said that because I
                                                                                              did consent, I couldn't press
                As told to Ji Hyun Lee                                                        charges. If I'd gotten an STD or
                                                                                              pregnant, then I might have a case
                                                                                              against him for negligence. But
                                                                                              there is no law against what he said
                                            when it came to sex. I was careful                was called birth-control sabotage.
             second date with Eric",        about unwanted pregnancies                        There should be, I thought.
                were heating up. We'd       and STDs, which is why I insisted
             night at a pub near the        a guy wear a condom even though
           ity of Washington, where I
                  Eric, clean-cut with
                                            I always used my NuvaRing.
                                            How could I not have noticed in
                                                                                               NOT AN
             , attended the same            the moment? I felt so humiliated                    SOLATED CASE 

           During the next hour or so,      and used.                                         A few weeks later, I chronicled my
            having fun and knew we              Days later, I sent him an e-mail              experiences on a Facebookpage. I
              istry. Eventually, we         telling him how angry I was. His                  couldn't be the only person this has
           back to his apartment.           response: "It's not that big a deal.              happened to...and I wasn't. I
            there, it was clear that our    I've done it before to other girls. You           received dozens of responses from
                  would happen. I asked     won't get pregnant."                              women whose partner also secretly
          put on a condom, and he               I tried to wrap my head around                removed the condom or other birth
            one and rolled it on in front   why he did it. I'd heard of women                 control they were using. I even got
         I always wore my NuvaRing,         having unsafe sex to trap guys into               messages from men who agreed
           extra protection.                fatherhood, but Eric didn't want me               that this was really screwed up.
         m ind at ease, I was able to       to get pregnant-it was like he got                   Starting a dialogue was a
enjoy the action. Then I opened my          off on the risks ofunsafe sex plus                turning point. After graduation, I
eyes and glanced down...and saw             the fact that I was clueless about it.            began writing about birth-control
my NuvaRing on the floor.                   Maybe he didn't like the feel of the              sabotage, making the case that it's
    How weird, I recall thinking. I         condom. Whatever the reason, he                   a violation similar to sexual
assumed it had fallen out, and I            put me and other women he'd done                  assault, and guys who do it put a
pushed Eric's body away to retrieve         this to in danger.                                woman's health at risk. It's been
it. I asked him ifhe had realized it            The following week, I went to my              two years since that night with
was on the floor, and that's when I         campus health center and got tested               Eric, and since then, there has been
noticed he wasn't wearing his               for a range ofSTDs. I also took a                 an uptick in advocacy groups
condom. I looked at him, puzzled.           pregnancy test. Luckily, I was                    spreading the word. I'm not sure
     "I took out your NuvaRing," he         negative on all fronts.                           when, but I'm hopeful that soon
said bluntly. He also copped to                 Physically, I was fine, but                   legislators will realize just how
whipping off his condom while my            emotionally, I was still rattled. I               dangerous it is.                    •
eyes were closed.                           talked to my girlfriends about what                                                 'Name has been changed.
    "Excuse me?" I replied, stunned.
He didn't answer. I'm pretty outspo­
ken, but this left me speechless. I
should have asked him why he did
it, but at the time, I felt so creeped
out. I just wanted to get away from
him, so I put on my clothes and left.


SHOCKED AND
VIOLATED
Back at my apartment, I felt anger,
embarrassment, and powerless­
ness. I'd always been take-charge
                                                                             SOURCI:. O~TLNa.VIQlcNCI: U PEl<' J,LL M RR"'. PSYo. Alln'OR OF Bur rl[II£:IIEqi/,/,lff
                                                                                                                     ll



                                                                                                 June 2012 I COSMOPOLITAN                            187
My Birth Control was Sabotaged

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My Birth Control was Sabotaged

  • 1. had happened; they too were horri­ fied. I contacted an attorney, a family Twenty-three-year-old Anya Alvarez friend, to see ifI could take legal action. I'd agreed to safe sex, not w as hookinguI~ with aJ2gtential new unprotected sex. The more I thought BF when he pulled a move about it, the more it seemed like this was a form of assault or fraud that so ho~gthat she's d~tennined shouldn't go unpunished. to make it illegal. The attorney said that because I did consent, I couldn't press As told to Ji Hyun Lee charges. If I'd gotten an STD or pregnant, then I might have a case against him for negligence. But there is no law against what he said when it came to sex. I was careful was called birth-control sabotage. second date with Eric", about unwanted pregnancies There should be, I thought. were heating up. We'd and STDs, which is why I insisted night at a pub near the a guy wear a condom even though ity of Washington, where I Eric, clean-cut with I always used my NuvaRing. How could I not have noticed in NOT AN , attended the same the moment? I felt so humiliated SOLATED CASE During the next hour or so, and used. A few weeks later, I chronicled my having fun and knew we Days later, I sent him an e-mail experiences on a Facebookpage. I istry. Eventually, we telling him how angry I was. His couldn't be the only person this has back to his apartment. response: "It's not that big a deal. happened to...and I wasn't. I there, it was clear that our I've done it before to other girls. You received dozens of responses from would happen. I asked won't get pregnant." women whose partner also secretly put on a condom, and he I tried to wrap my head around removed the condom or other birth one and rolled it on in front why he did it. I'd heard of women control they were using. I even got I always wore my NuvaRing, having unsafe sex to trap guys into messages from men who agreed extra protection. fatherhood, but Eric didn't want me that this was really screwed up. m ind at ease, I was able to to get pregnant-it was like he got Starting a dialogue was a enjoy the action. Then I opened my off on the risks ofunsafe sex plus turning point. After graduation, I eyes and glanced down...and saw the fact that I was clueless about it. began writing about birth-control my NuvaRing on the floor. Maybe he didn't like the feel of the sabotage, making the case that it's How weird, I recall thinking. I condom. Whatever the reason, he a violation similar to sexual assumed it had fallen out, and I put me and other women he'd done assault, and guys who do it put a pushed Eric's body away to retrieve this to in danger. woman's health at risk. It's been it. I asked him ifhe had realized it The following week, I went to my two years since that night with was on the floor, and that's when I campus health center and got tested Eric, and since then, there has been noticed he wasn't wearing his for a range ofSTDs. I also took a an uptick in advocacy groups condom. I looked at him, puzzled. pregnancy test. Luckily, I was spreading the word. I'm not sure "I took out your NuvaRing," he negative on all fronts. when, but I'm hopeful that soon said bluntly. He also copped to Physically, I was fine, but legislators will realize just how whipping off his condom while my emotionally, I was still rattled. I dangerous it is. • eyes were closed. talked to my girlfriends about what 'Name has been changed. "Excuse me?" I replied, stunned. He didn't answer. I'm pretty outspo­ ken, but this left me speechless. I should have asked him why he did it, but at the time, I felt so creeped out. I just wanted to get away from him, so I put on my clothes and left. SHOCKED AND VIOLATED Back at my apartment, I felt anger, embarrassment, and powerless­ ness. I'd always been take-charge SOURCI:. O~TLNa.VIQlcNCI: U PEl<' J,LL M RR"'. PSYo. Alln'OR OF Bur rl[II£:IIEqi/,/,lff ll June 2012 I COSMOPOLITAN 187