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1. "BusinessInsider". Whatismicroaggression?14 thingspeople thinkare fine tosayat work------butare
actuallyracist,sexist,oroffensive.
What isa microaggression?14 thingspeople thinkare fine tosayat work — but are actuallyracist,
sexist, oroffensive
Thinkbefore youspeak.Thatisthe bestwayto avoida microaggression.
Protestsinthe wake of the killingof George Floyd are shiningaspotlightonracisminall facetsof
Americanlife — includingatwork.
The research says that the majorityof Americanworkershave seenorexperiencedworkplace
discrimination.
Some of thisprejudice comesoutinthe formof microaggressions,orindirectexpressionsof racism,
sexism,ageism,orableism.
To avoida toxicworkplace culture,it'simportanttoknow whichphrasesandactionscan make
employeesfromdifferentbackgroundsoridentitiesfeel uncomfortable andtargeted.
Recentprotestsoverthe killingof George Floyd have sparkedanationwideconversationaboutracismin
all areas of Americanlife,includinginthe office.
Prejudice,bias,anddiscriminationatworkare a lot more commonthan manybusinessleaderswould
like toadmit.A surveybyGlassdoorof 1,100 US employeesfoundthat 61% of US employees had
witnessedorexperiencedworkplacediscriminationbasedonage,race,gender,orLGBTQ identity.
Some of thisplaysout inthe formof microaggressions, orindirect,oftenunintentional expressionsof
racism,sexism,ageism,orableism.Theycome outinseeminglyinnocuouscommentsbypeople who
mightbe well-intentioned.
From tellinganewfemale workerthatshe "lookslike astudent"toaskingablack colleague abouther
natural hair,microaggressionsoftenexistinthe workplace,too.Andtheycanmake a workplace feel
uncomfortable,unsafe,and toxic.
"Because microaggressionsare oftencommunicatedthroughlanguage, itisveryimportanttopay
attentiontohowwe talk,especiallyinthe workplace andothersocial institutionslikeclassrooms,
courtrooms,andso on," Christine Mallinson,professorof language,literacy,andculture atthe
Universityof Maryland,Baltimore County,toldBusinessInsider.
Because microaggressionsare sosubtle,itisoftenhardto know if you're committingone orif you're on
the receivingend.
"One thingisthat theyare ina sense ambiguous,sothatthe recipientisaptto feel vaguelyinsulted,but
since the wordslookand soundcomplimentary,onthe surface (they're mostoftenpositive),she can't
rightlyfeel insultedanddoesn'tknowhow torespond," RobinLakoff,ProfessorEmeritaof Linguisticsat
the Universityof California,Berkeley,toldBusinessInsider.
Here are some of the mostcommonmicroaggressions.
'You're so articulate'

2. "Whena white colleague tellsacolleagueof color'You're so articulate'or 'You speaksowell,'the
remarksuggeststhattheyassumedthe personinquestionwouldbe lessarticulate — andare surprised
to findouttheyaren't,"MallinsontoldBusinessInsider.
Commentingonablack person'slanguage orspeakinghabitshas acomplicatedhistory,andthisisa
problemthatAfrican-Americansespeciallyencounterinthe workplace orschool.
"We (awhite-dominantsociety) expectblackfolkstobe lesscompetent,"wrote A.Gordon inThe Root.
"And,speakingasa white person,whenwe registersurpriseata blackindividual'sarticulateness,we
alsosendthe not-so-subtle messagethatthatpersonispart of a groupthat we don't expecttosee
sittingatthe table,takingona leadershiprole."
What to say instead:Nothing.Youcancommendpeople ontheirspecificideasorinsightsbut
commentingonhowpeople speakisunnecessary.
'You're transgender?Wow,you don'tlooklike itatall'
Tellingatransgenderpersonthattheydonot "looktrans"mightappearto be a compliment.
But trans people likeElliotWake knowthatwhile thesepeople have goodintentions,itisanoffensive
commentthat impliesbeingtrans isn'tdesirable.
"(T)heyassume if I'mtrans,my ultimate goal mustbe tolookas much like abinary cis male as possible
— andthat trans masculine folkwhodon'tlooklike cismenhave somehow failedthatunstatedgoal,"
Wake toldBustle.
It indicatesthatthe speakerfeelslooking asclose aspossible to cisgender(those whoidentifywiththe
gendertheywere bornwith) shouldbe whattranspeople aimfor.
"Trans womencanbe beautiful inourownwaywithoutbeingjudgedonridiculouscisbeauty
standards,"KatelynBurns toldBustle.
What to do instead:Saynothing.
'Oh, sorry,wrongperson'
If you are an underrepresentedminority,andthere'sone otherpersonof youridentityinthe room,
there'sa chance that the majoritygroupwill confuse yournames.
"WhenI startedgrad school,the introclasswas taughtby two white womenandIwasone of two
Mexican-Americansinthe cohort," one Buzzfeedreadershared."Theyconstantlycalledme Maria,the
othergirl'sname.My name isAlejandraandwe looknothingalike."
What to say instead:Learnyourcoworkers'names. Itisa prettybasicconcept.
'Oh, you're gay?You shouldmeetmyfriendAnn.She'sgay,too!'
Adi Barretowrote for The Muse abouta few issuesshe'sfacedinthe workplace as aqueerwomanin
tech.
One of the thingsshe'sencountered: thatclassicsuggestion thatmanywell-intentionedstraightpeople
pull outfor LGBTQ friendsandfamily — offeringtosetthemupwith anotherLGBTQ persontheyknow.

3. "Justbecause twopeople youknowhave one thingincommon,doesn’tmeanthey’dbe amatch,"
Barreto wrote. "Yes,there are fewerpeople we candate,butthat doesn'tmeanwe don'thave
standardsinpersonalitytype,values,and everythingelseyoucare about,too."
Barreto addedthatthiswouldbe like settingupastraightcoworkerwitha randomstraightpersonyou
knowof the opposite gender — justbecause theyhappentobothhave the same sexual orientation.
What to do instead:Saynothing.If yourcoworkerof any sexual orientationwantsyourhelpmeeting
newpeople,they'll askyou.
'My bossiscrazy'
Callingyourfemale boss"crazy"or"hysterical"hassexistundertones,becausethese wordshave a long,
problematichistory.
"In the past,especiallyin19thcenturyEurope,womenwhohadanxietyorwhowere seenas
troublemakerswereoftendiagnosedasbeing'hysterical,'"MallinsontoldBusinessInsider.
"The word 'hysterical'comesfromthe Greek wordhystera,meaninguterus,signifyingthatthe so-called
disease wasspecifictowomen."
So,whenyoucall a woman"crazy," itsuggeststhather concernsor actionsare illogical,ratherthanthe
resultof critical thinking.
What to say instead:Tryto understandyourcolleague'sviewpointratherthanascribingheractionsas
illogical.If youstill don'tagree,youcouldsay:"Idon't understandherperspective onthis" — thenask
herfor her insights.
'Where are youactuallyfrom?'
Askingsomeone abouttheirethnicheritageappearstojustbe a way to getto know someone.
But for Latinos,Asians,and"peoplewhofall inbetweenthe black-whiteracial binaryinthe United
States,"the questiongetstiresome,wrotejournalistTanzinaVega inCNN.
"The nexttime youwantto inquire aboutsomeone'srace,ethnicityornational origin,askyourself:Why
do I wantto know?"Vegawrote."Orbetteryet, ratherthan askinganyone 'where are youreallyfrom?'
try listening— orlettingthatpersonask youa question — instead."
Receivingthatquestionagainandagaincan implythata personisn'treallyAmericanordoesn'ttruly
belongintheircountry,justbecause of theirappearance.
"The wrong here isthat the questionpresupposesthat beingapersonof coloris inconsistentwithbeing
American,"Dr. AshleyLaurenPenningtontoldBusinessInsider.
What to say instead:Nothing.If the personinquestionwantstodiscusstheiridentity,theycanbringit
up at theirowndiscretion.
'The wayyou've overcome yourdisabilityissoinspiring'
"Too oftendowe forgetthat people withdisabilities,too,have todeal withmicroaggressionsonthe
regular,"wrote WendyLu,whohas a tracheostomytube,onBustle."Theycantake place in everyday

4. conversations,makingthemhardtocall outunlessyouwantto be lookeddownuponformakinga big
deal outof 'nothing.'"
If you have a coworkerwhohas a disability,avoidtropesliketellingthemtheirdisabilityis "inspiring,"or
tip-toeingarounditbyreferringtotheirdisabilitytoa "special need."
"I wantto live ina worldwhere we don'thave suchlow expectationsof disabledpeoplethatwe are
congratulatedforgettingoutof bedand rememberingourownnamesinthe morning,"comedianand
activistStellaYoungsaid atTEDxSydney.
In otherwords,youshouldn'tbe shockedwhenyourcoworkerwithadisabilityisable toaccomplishjust
as much as theirable-bodiedpeers.
What to do instead:Saynothing.
'Your name is so hardto pronounce'
"The remark suggeststhatthe personinquestiondoesnotfitinculturallyorlinguistically,andthattheir
identityisnotworthtakingtime tolearnabout," MallinsontoldBusinessInsider.
What to say instead:If youcan't pronounce a colleague'sname,justaskthemhow tosayit. Don't point
out that it'sforeignorunfamiliartoyou.
'I thinkyou're inthe wrongroom — thisis the programmers'meeting'
KieranSnyder,nowCEOof Textio, toldFastCompany aboutone of herfirstexperienceswith
microaggressionsasaMicrosoftemployee.She wasgoingtoa companylecture onmath.
"I walkedoverafewminutesearly,andinthe roomtwo menwere alreadyseated,"Snydersaid.
Accordingto Snyder,one of the mensaw her and quicklyaskedif she waslookingforatalkon desi gn
that wasbeingheldnearby.He assumedthat,asa woman,Snyderwouldnotbe interestedorable togo
to a math talk.
It appearsto justbe a helpful suggestion,butitcommunicatesthatit'simpossibleorunlikelythata
womancouldn'tbe an engineer.
What to say instead:Don'tassume people don'tbelongormake themfeel asif they're outsiders.
'Do you evenknowwhatSnapchatis?'
Those whobelieve thatonlythose intheir20sand 30s couldpossiblyknow aboutmemesandTwitter
are stereotypingolderpeople.
Andwhile jokingaboutyourgray-hairedcolleague'stextinghabitsseemsinnocent,age discriminationis
a seriousprobleminmanyworkplaces.Intech,forinstance,olderprofessionalssaidthey have problems
gettinghired despitealitanyof pastexperience.
These sortof innocent commentscanleadto,say,olderworkersnotgettingnew trainingopportunities,
beingleftoutof the workplace social circle,andothersignsof illegal age discrimination.
What to do instead:Once again,saynothing.

5. 'Are you an intern?Youlookso young!'
"By complementingawomanonherappearance,ina professional setting,youare reinforcingsexist
beliefsaboutwomen'sworth — thatfirstand foremost,womenmustbe attractive,andthisisaprimary
functionof theirsocial role,"PenningtontoldBusinessInsider.
"Whenan oldermale colleague tellsajuniorfemale colleague'Youlooksoyoung'or 'You looklike a
student,'the commentfocusesattentionon herappearance ratherthanon hercredentials,anditmay
subtlyundermineherauthorityonthe job,"MallinsontoldBusinessInsider.
Remarkingonsomeone'sapparentyouthalsoimpliesthattheyseeminexperiencedorpotentially
unqualifiedfortheirjob.
What to say instead:Nothing.There'snoreasontocommenton a coworker'sappearance.If you
genuinelywanttoknowtheirjobtitle,lookitupina company directory.
'Is that yourreal hair?'
Receivingcommentsaboutone'snatural hairisa frequentstruggle forAfrican-Americanwomenin
particular. Blackwomen'stexturedhairisoftenseenas "lessprofessional" thansmoothhair,according
to the PerceptionInstitute.
"My cubicle partnerisblack andhas natural hair,"an anonymousreader wrote toBuzzfeed."She hasa
prettybigafro, andat leastonce a weeksomeone asksme if Ithinkherhairis unprofessional,if it
violatesthe dresscode,orif itdistractsme. No,Kathy.Her hairdoesnot make me feel anything.You,
however,leavingyourdeskandinterruptingmyworktotry and start s--tmakesme feel things."
For blackwomen,the biasagainstnatural hairresultsin higherlevelsof anxiety abouttheirappearance.
One infive blackwomenfeel sociallypressuredtostraightentheirhairforwork,whichistwice the rate
for white women.
What to say instead:Nothing.A person'snatural hair,regardlessof theirethnicity,shouldbe accepted
as professionalandworkplace-friendly.
(Interrupting)'Well,actually,Ithink…'
Men are nearlythree timesaslikely tointerruptawomanthananotherman.
The NewYork Timescalledmeninterruptingwomen "auniversal phenomenon." Andthe kickeriswhen
a man parrots the same ideaas the womanhe interrupted,receivingall the creditforit.
"I can't evencountthe numberof timesI've witnessedawomanbeinginterruptedandtalkedoverbya
man,onlyto hear himlaterrepeatthe same ideasshe wastryingto put forward," Grace Ellistold the
Times."I'dsay I see thishappen… twoto three timesaweek?Atleast?"
ElizabethAmes,seniorvice presidentof marketing,alliances,andprogramsforthe AnitaBorgInstitute,
alsosaidthisis one of the biggestworkplace microaggressionsshe hearsabout.
"Anotherthingwe heara lotis whentheyshare anideaor commentand everyone ignoresit,thenthe
male inthe room saysit and everyone thinksit'sthe greatestthing,"Ames toldFastCompany.

6. What to do instead:Waitforthe personto finishtheirthought.Andif youlike theiridea,givethem
credit.
'Why do youwearthat?'
Those whoare Jewish,Sikh,Muslim,oranother religionandchoose towearreligiousheadcoverings
mightgetoverlyprobingquestionsatwork.
In reality,thatone personisn'ta representativeof theirentire religion.If youwanttolearnmore about
that religion,youshouldn'taskpeoplewhile they're justtryingtodotheirjob.
Muslimwomen whoweara hijab,forinstance, oftensay thatpeople askthem"if they're bald
underneath"orif someone is"forcing"themtoweara hijab.
"Don't stare.Don't judge.Teachothers.Know thatI'm not somebodytobe saved,"wrote ananonymous
hijab-wearingwoman inEverydayFeminism."Treatme asyouwouldtreatanyone else.That'sall you
need."
What to do instead:Saynothing. If you're curiousaboutwhyreligiouspeople choose towearcertain
articlesof clothing,readarticlesorbooksbythose whodo it.Don't go around askingrandomcolleagues
abouttheirlife choices.