A short presentation on some of the challenges faced in finding a good rishta and some tips for success. RISHTACORNER is an independent social enterprise primarily focused in offering education and counselling support to Jamaat members. It is not an official organ of any religious organization

1. THECHALLENGESOF
FINDINGGOOD
RISHTAS

2. ASSALAMOALAIKUM
Let’s talk about
some of the challenges in
finding a good rishta in the
Jamaat and some helpful hints
for families looking
To get a copy of this presentation please email contact
team[at]rishtacorner.com or via instagram @rishtacorner

3. 1.
LET’sGETGROUNDED
Importace of marriage in Islam

4. "No institution of Islam
is liked by Allah more
than that of marriage".
The Holy Prophetsaw

5. MARRIAGEINISLAM
Islam has put great importance to question of
marriage in it’s social system

6. PurposeofMarriage
Allows a man
& woman to
live together
and
experience
love,
happiness
Provide a
legal union to
safeguard
from social
and moral
degregation
To produce
children and
offer them a
stable and
righteous
upbringing

7. "Some people marry
for beauty, others for
rank, and others for
wealth, but you
should marry a good
and pious woman”
Writes in his book
Ahmadiyyat or True
Islam that the above
hadith should alone
be the basis for
marriage
Hadhrat MirzaBashir ud-DinMahmud Ahmadra onMarriage

8. 2.
Today’schallenges
Why is it increasingly difficult to find suitable
spouses in today’s world?

9. TIMESHAVECHANGED!
.

10. IMPACTOFMIGRATION:QUALITYOFLIFE
Healthcare, social services and access to
education

11. IMPACTOFMIGRATION:ECONOMICFACTORS
 Both parents required to work to make
ends meet meaning less focus on
children’s education
 Boys marrying later due to financial
instability

12. IMPACTOFMIGRATION:WESTERNINFLUENCE
 Significant impact of Western influence on
attitudes … examples: discouragement of
marriage within extended families, higher
demands
 Reduced segregation: Boys and girls more
freely interacting socially. Contributing to
more and more boys marrying outside the
Jamaat

13. IMPACTOFMIGRATION:JAMAATINTERACTION
 Reduced involvement with Jamaat
especially in remote areas
 Smaller network reach within Jamaat

14. NETEFFECT
What impact have all these factors had?

15. BOYSAND GIRLSGETTINGMARRIEDLATER
✖ Gone are the days when girls and
boys got married in early 20s
✖ Girls often resist discussions on
marriage until they complete education
and work for a couple of years. Real
discussions start at around 26ys age
✖ Boys tend to want to get married
much later due to being financially
stable and so start looking 28-30 years
old earliest
✖ After 28 selection of good rishtas for
girls significantly drops

16. CANDIDATESGETMORESELECTIVEASTHEYGETOLDER
✖ There is a stark difference in
importance given to looks between boys
in early 20s, late 20s and early 30s
✖ As boys move from mid-20s to early
30s age gap requirements also increase
up to 10 years difference
✖ Even in rare cases where boys don’t
require big age gap, boys rarely
consider a girl who is only a few
months older than them

17. PARENTSVS.KIDSEXPECATIONS
✖ There is often a significant
disconnect between what parents are
looking for and what their children are
looking for in a partner
✖ While some parents prioritize purdah
it is surprising how many boys are
looking for girls that absolutely do not
do purdah!

18. LACKOFCONSIDERATION
✖ There is a often a lack of
consideration given to girl’s families
when in rishta discussions. This starts
even as early as first phone call –
awkward, sensitive questions
✖ Boys families will ask for photos but
do not appreciate how much invasion of
privacy this actually is. In many cases
they may not even contact the girl’s
family back

19. PEOPLENOTSERIOUS
✖ Parents of boys often will look for
rishtas even when their sons are not
ready or are involved in a relationship
with someone outside the Jamaat
✖ They live under a false sense of
reality, hoping that if they present a girl
their son will change his mind

20. 3.
WHATCANYOUDO?
Some useful tips for parents

21. STARTCONVERSATIONABOUT
MARRIAGEWITHYOURCHILDREN
 Discussion of marriage should start at an
early age – tell your kids to pray for their
future children
 Let your children know your expectations
about them getting married. Agree a plan
 Understand their requirements

22. REACHOUTTOYOURNETWORKS
 Start looking for a rishta at least a 18
months before earliest wedding date
 Talk to your friends ask them to keep a
lookout
 Prepare a profile – avoid giving too
personal information
 Talk to your local Sadr
 Contact RISHTANATA – they will help even
if you do not formally want to sign-up

23. DON’TGIVEUP
 Not finding a rishta can be
stressful
 Continue to pray
 Stay positive
 Don’t give up

24. Thanks!
Any questions?