This document is Lindsay Bayer's e-portfolio of original writing for the course LLED 597G: Writing for Children at an unnamed institution. It contains three parts. Part One includes three short stories - "Yoga Makes Me Feel," "I Think My Cat Needs Glasses," and "My Dog Stole My Pajamas." Part Two contains critiques of other students' works. Part Three is an author's note and information about Lindsay Bayer.

1. Lindsay Bayer
e-Portfolio of Original Work
LLED 597G: Writing for Children
Instructor: Susan Campbell Bartoletti
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2. © 2011 Lindsay Bayer
All rights reserved. No part of this document may be reproduced or
transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical,
photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without prior written
permission of Lindsay Bayer.
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3. To Chris: for recognizing the nerd within me, and loving me
regardless.
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4. Table of Contents
Part One: Option B (Stories and Personal Reflections) ........................ 5
Yoga Makes Me Feel ............................................................................ 6
I Think My Cat Needs Glasses ............................................................... 8
My Dog Stole My Pajamas……………………………………………………………….10
Part Two .......................................................................................... 14
Critique for Michelle .......................................................................... 15
Critique for Laura ............................................................................... 17
Critique from Laura…………………………………………………………………………19
Critique from Katie………………………………………………………………………….21
My Personal Philosophy Renewed………………………………………………….23
Part Three………………………………………………………………………………………25
Author’s Note…………………………………………………………………………………26
About the Author…………………………………………………………………………..27
Recommendations…………………………………………………………………………28
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5. Part One: Option B
(Stories and Personal
Reflections)
5

6. Yoga Makes Me Feel…
Yoga makes me feel excited. When I wake up in the morning, hearing
the birds sing and seeing the first rays of sunlight, I stand tall in
Mountain Pose. With my back straight and my shoulders down, I reach
my arms over my head and look up. I imagine reaching for the sun in
the sky. As I hear Mom yell, “Time for breakfast,” I feel strong and
ready for the day ahead.
Yoga makes me feel balanced. Before I climb the jungle gym on the
playground, I stand up straight and bring one ankle to the top of my
other leg in Tree Pose. I raise my arms over my head and balance for a
few seconds. My friends become trees too. The breeze blows, shaking
our branches. “Woah, woah!” we say as we giggle and try to remain
still. We switch legs and start over on the other side. Yoga makes me
feel sturdy and ready to play.
Yoga makes me feel calm. When my teacher announces, “Attention
class, please clear your desks. It’s time for a pop quiz in math,” I begin
to feel nervous. But then I remember to take slow, deep breaths in and
out of my nose. This is called Pranayama. I close my eyes for a
moment and listen to the air flowing in and out of my body. My nerves
are clamed and my mind is focused. “Just stop and take a deep
breath,” I tell my desk partner as she bites her bottom lip. Yoga makes
me feel prepared and confident to take my quiz.
Yoga makes me feel peaceful. I look out my bedroom window and see
the stars glimmering in the dark sky. In my warn pajamas, I kneel on
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7. the floor and sit on my heels. I slowly lay my body on my legs and relax
into Child’s Pose. As I think back on my day, I feel grateful for all that’s
happened. I slowly breathe in and out… in and out. “Goodnight, my
love,” I hear Mom say as she peeks into my room. Yoga makes me feel
thankful and ready for a good night’s sleep.
Personal Reflection:
I started freewriting about yoga one day this semester because I’ve
noticed how much better I feel after consistent practice. I also noticed
that yoga helped me in the writing process. It helped me eliminate
distractions and settle in on the method of creating. With consistent
yoga practice I’m more aware, calm and focused. This made me think
about how children could benefit from yoga too as they move through
the day; from waking up in the morning, to going to school, to falling
asleep. That’s where this picturebook idea comes from. I visualize the
illustrations showing the poses in the context of the story, then perhaps
step-by-step illustrations at the end of the book. I also feel like this
could be the beginning of a series of books, considering the numerous
poses and benefits of yoga.
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8. I Think My Cat Needs Glasses
I think my cat needs glasses. I’m sure she cannot see.
She’s made friends with a mouse and gives my bird the third degree.
She runs away from squeaky toys and snubs the goldfish bowl.
Instead she likes to bat around my purple fishing pole.
She runs away when I prepare her bowl of kitty food.
Just the thought of Kitty Chow gives her an attitude.
Even as the smell of fish and chicken fill the air,
She’d rather jump into my drawer to hunt my underwear.
She doesn’t chase her tail and she won’t ever climb a tree.
Instead she stays inside to watch reality TV.
She jumps off of my bed and flaps her paws just like a bat.
I think my cat needs glasses to remember she’s a cat!
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9. Personal Reflection:
This poem/picturebook idea was the hybrid of two separate freewriting
experiences: one about my cat and one about my own glasses. They
seemed like such boring topics at the time, but I’m so glad I was able to
combine them into this really fun and funky story about a crazy cat. I’ve
been a complete advocate of the freewriting process; even when I
thought I had very little to write about I was able to conjure up various
ideas like this one. This poem is based more on reality than any of you
will ever realize. Much of it is about my own cat, Arrow. In fact, Arrow
is constantly jumping into open drawers to attack our laundry. She
ignores the myriad of expensive cat toys we’ve purchased to instead
chase wine corks. And, worst of all, she is hands-down the pickiest
eater I know (animal OR human). I hope you enjoy this semi-pseudo
ode to my cat, Arrow. PS – I think a lot could be done with the
illustrations. I imagine my own home when going through the lines, but
I think an illustrator could really have fun designing the household.
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10. My Dog Stole My Pajamas
It was nearly bedtime.
I was cold from my bath and ready to crawl into my warm pajamas. But
I couldn’t find them anywhere.
They weren’t in the drawer.
They weren’t in the laundry basket.
They weren’t in the bathroom, in the closet or under the bed.
How did I lose my pajamas? They couldn’t have just walked away.
I looked to my left. I looked to my right.
I looked up to the ceiling. I looked down to the floor.
That’s when I saw him, standing in the hall.
It was Archie, my big, yellow dog. And HE was wearing my pajamas!
His tail was wagging and his tongue was hanging from his mouth.
He rolled on his back with his paws in the air. He grinned at me.
I reached to grab Archie, but it was too late.
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11. Archie raced down the hall towards the kitchen.
As he ran past the cabinets…WOOSH! Archie slipped on Mom’s apron.
The apron flew into the air and landed right around Archie’s head.
I chased him towards the mudroom, but I still couldn’t catch him.
Archie ran through a row of shoes piled on the floor…CLOMP, CLOMP,
CLOMP!
Two sneakers, a boot and a high heel became fixed to Archie’s paws.
He clomped towards the front door with my pajamas, Mom’s apron and
all four shoes sticking right to him.
I chased Archie around the coat tree, trying to corner him
when…BOOM!
The coat tree toppled over. A parka landed on Archie’s back with its
hood covering his eyes.
Archie, now wearing my pajamas, mom’s apron, four shoes and a
parka, made his way back down the hall towards the bathroom.
I chased him inside and…SPLASH! Archie jumped right into the bathtub,
still full of water and bubbles from my bath.
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12. Archie was soaking, but he didn’t stop. He ran back into my bedroom,
dripping wet.
I cornered him near my closet. Archie had nowhere to go. Tiny bubbles
on his nose started to pop, when…AAAA, AAAA, AAAA-CHOOOOOO!
Archie sneezed a great sneeze, blowing the parka from his back.
Without the parka, Archie was cold. He began to shiver and shake.
Archie shook his paws and the shoes came right off, flying into the
corners of my bedroom.
Archie then shook his head so hard that the apron came loose.
With one last great shake, Archie freed my pajamas from his back.
As my pajamas, cold and wet, landed in my hands, Archie ran out of my
bedroom with his yellow tail wagging.
As I found some dry pajamas in my drawer, I thought I saw something
from the corner of my eye.
When I turned around to crawl into bed, something was missing.
Where did my teddy bear go? I wondered.
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13. That’s when I saw Archie at my bedroom door, grinning, with my teddy
bear in his slobbery mouth.
Personal Reflection:
For some reason, stories featuring pets seemed to come to me this
semester. Time spent in freewriting also led me to this idea about a
little boy whose dog has stolen his pajamas. I was remembering a time
when my cat used to run around the house with one of my slippers in
her mouth making me chase her down. I wanted to create a story
about this frustration, but do so in layers. In this case, the dog gets into
more and more trouble as he’s chased through the house. I think the
dog is mischievous, but still cute and comical for young children. I also
wanted the story to feel like it could continue in a child’s mind, so I
ended it with the dog (after returning the pajamas) taking the teddy
bear off the little boy’s bed to begin another chase through the house.
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14. Part Two
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15. “My Best Friend Wendy” by Michelle Liposky (Post 5.7)
My original critique:
Thanks for sharing this poem. I think you’ve captured a lot of the small
details of childhood summer and friendship. I also think that this poem
would be child-centric because it communicates ideas about common
elements of childhood and how powerful early friendships are. You
also touch on the heartbreak of losing a friend, something that so many
children have to deal with.
I do think you need to decide if you want your poem to rhyme or not.
Some lines rhymed while others did not, so it was hard for me to read
with a rhythm in mind which was a little distracting. But the content is
great and I think you could do a lot with these memoires of yours.
Have you thought about transforming these memories into more of a
narrative? I think the joy of having friendship and the sadness of losing
it would be a good picturebook story for young children. You could
express what you learned from this friendship, even though it was
taken away from you.
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16. Reflection:
I think my critique was helpful to Michelle because I focused on the
structure of her poem. As a reader, I found it difficult to “flow” through
her poem because there was no clear format. I also found myself
wanting more of a personal take on this situation, so I suggested that
she incorporate a narrative format to allow the reader to engage more
with the delicate and human elements within the piece. I think the
details of her poem are very important for children to learn, especially
the potential of losing a friend, so I encouraged her use of these fine
details. Looking back I think her piece taught me a lot about
incorporating more child-centric elements into my own work. She took
such care to bring up memories of childhood (like mud pies, truth or
dare and fighting to keep clean) and I realized that many of these
details still ring true in the ears of children.
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17. “Ellie Story Continued – Practice with Dialogue” by Laura D’Aveta
(Post 8.9)
My Original Critique:
Hi Laura - I'm enjoying learning even more about Ellie. Since we're
talking about dialogue this week, I'll comment on those sections of your
piece. First, I think there are many instances where you did a good job
showing action and emotion within your dialogue sequences. But there
are some sections where I think this could be stronger and/or clearer.
For example:
“Did you draw these?” Devlin had Ellie’s notebook clenched in his fist,
and he stomped towards her, bending nearly in half as he thrust his face
in hers, hot air washing over her skin.
I think you need to either explain how Devlin asked this question (as it
seemed to stir up a lot of emotion within him). For me, this would offer
a clearer picture of Ellie's reactions. Maybe like this:
“Did you draw these?” Devlin asked angrily as he clenched Ellie’s
notebook in his fist. He stomped towards Ellie, bending nearly in half as
he thrust his face in hers.
I think there are other instances of dialogue that could be clarified
through explaining the action with simpler sentences:
“Come with me.” Quinn stood, unfolding his body and stretching, giving
Ellie space but watching to make sure she followed him up the narrow
to the attic.
to
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18. “Come with me,” Quinn said as he stood. As he unfolded his body, he
kept his eyes on Ellie, making sure she followed him to the attic.
I think just paying attention to the areas where you can clarify the
action within the dialogue will help you communicate Ellie's feelings
better to the readers.
Overall, I think your story is progressing well and I'm excited to read
more!
Reflection:
I believe that my critique helped Laura clarify the dialogue within her
scene. I feel that Laura was trying to pack too much into sections where
the characters were speaking to one another. Sometimes the action
following a sentence of dialogue would run on with various descriptions.
It felt like a lot for the reader to take in at once. I think that clarifying
these sections and separating some of the accompanying action into
separate sentences will be beneficial to a reader, which is why I made
the suggestions above. I also think I helped her understand the
importance of communicating how a character delivers their dialogue.
If the reader doesn’t know how the words are being delivered then a lot
of the impact the author originally intended can get lost. I think I was
able to offer these suggestions because I worked very hard on practicing
my own writing of dialogue. I wanted to make sure I wove action and
impact into sections where my characters were speaking, so I hope this
emphasis transferred to Laura within my critique.
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19. “Molly and the Three Bears” by Lindsay Bayer
Critique by Laura D’Aveta (Post 2.5)
Laura’s Critique:
Lindsay, First off, I love the sort of "I'll show you" tone to Molly's
imagination ... "I'll show Mom to tell me 'use your imagination'" ...
obstinate, yet there was the challenge of Molly having to deal with her
own fears once she was using her imagination. It made me like her as a
character right away. You also seemed to have fun with turning the
original Goldilocks tale on its ear a bit, which was great. Reworkings of
fairy tales to make them more "modern" or "accessible" is entertaining.
Thank you addressing the fact that cooking porridge/oatmeal just plain
stinks. Nobody ever seems to acknowledge that oatmeal should only
exist in cookie form.
I enjoyed the way you moved Molly between reality and the "inner"
story of "her" Three Bears, but I found myself wanting more detail;
something more tangible than "suddenly she looked up" ... I have no
idea what, but it seemed too abrupt a transition. Likewise, the bears
figuring out so quickly how she got there when she didn't know herself
... I felt as though I wanted something more. I think I wanted it to be
more work for Molly to get back. I'm not sure why. (I'll keep thinking
about it and let you know if I figure it out!)
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20. Reflection:
Laura’s critique was very helpful for me because she made me realize
that I was being too easy on my main character. I wasn’t pushing Molly
(my main character) to transition into much action that was harsh or
difficult. She mentioned my abrupt transitions and that really made me
think about how I could stretch, expand and make the main character’s
circumstances more difficult. I think I was being too easy on myself
which translated into an easy story begging for more conflict. Realizing
this helped me in my revisions and I think my second try allowed me to
put Molly into more danger, which ultimately made the resolution more
successful and satisfying. I am still working on this story, but these
initial comments were very helpful in getting me to let my characters
experience more danger. I now trust myself to create more difficult
action and solve problems creatively within my writing.
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21. “Re-Write of Journal 4.3” by Lindsay Bayer
Critique by Katie Hoeg (Post 4.3)
Katie’s Critique:
Hiya Lindsay, Nice work! Your journal entry about "Grandma" is
lighthearted and fun. I think it would be a great piece for children to
connect with, as they are often more technologically savvy than their
grandparents! I like your inclusion of TVs, Video games, and
computers. I think it might be fun, too, to consider eReaders, mp3
players, Cell phones, and maybe even exercise equipment.
I think this could be a cool picture book....especially if you were to
consider a lot of other sources of technology. I do have a few
questions, to be sure. In the first paragraph, you mention that
Grandma didn't have a TV in her house for a long time. In those first
two sentences, you use the word "TV" multiple times and I got a little
confused. At first I thought she didn't have a TV at all, but then she did,
blah blah blah. It's a minor little thing, but maybe you could rephrase
that opening? Also, I LOVE the "switch" at the end of your first
example....where Grandma only smells electricity and you smell the
pepperoni pizza. It was a SHOCK to me! :) I wonder if you could
connect those "shocks". Maybe the next example after the TV could be
Microwaves. And maybe the microwave could lead to the mp3
player...and then to the computer....or something like that. :)
I think this is an excellent starting point! It is very fun and creative - I
hope you continue to work on it!
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22. Reflection:
Katie’s critique helped me (once again) understand how little details can
stick out in a reader’s mind if they’re not completely clear. Katie,
throughout the semester, was very good about pointing out
inconsistencies or confusing elements within a storyline. I thought I
would have a scene nailed, but Katie would find something that seemed
out of place. Admittedly, I found this a bit annoying at first. But I’ve
come to really cherish and appreciate Katie’s inconsistency-hunting
because it helped me further examine and self-edit my work. In this
case, Katie also allowed me to think about an alternative perspective for
this story. Perhaps it would be better suited as a picturebook with
building tension (similar to If You Give a Mouse a Cookie). Her
perspective made me excited about this little piece again when I initially
thought I would walk away from it.
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23. My Personal Philosophy Renewed
As I’ve learned throughout this course, stories for children hold
important truths. Children and adults are able to reflect on their own
lives by using well-written stories as mirrors to see lessons and
applications for real situations. Because of the power stories hold,
authors of literature for children have an important mission: to not only
communicate with readers in an authentic way, but to communicate
matters of human experience. Children can easily relate to the
universal themes of love, anger, fear, curiosity, frustration and
contentment just as adults can.
At the start of this course, I did not possess the intimate knowledge of
how to communicate these human experiences within stories. I feel
that my original philosophy emphasized an exterior perception on
children’s literature. I was very concerned about authors representing
various types of diverse childhoods because that is what I saw as
important as a consumer, not as an author. While I still believe
diversity is an essential component in the field of children’s literature,
my focus has shifted throughout this course as I have actually become a
writer for children. While no two children are identical, the emotions
they experience in different situations can often be similar. Therefore,
a book written about one child can still communicate important truths
to a child that is not exactly like the one portrayed in the story. I now
feel that writing about these universal similarities is essential in
connecting people to stories.
I feel as though children’s literature holds a lot of power: it is able to
connect children to other children, unite young people and adults and
clarify new experiences and feelings to human beings, young and old.
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24. Writing with authenticity and a personal voice is essential for an author.
But I have also learned that when authors utilize their voice to write
literature for children that reveals information about how they can
operate within a complex world, children develop an inner authenticity
within themselves.
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25. Part Three
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26. Author’s Note
This course has allowed me to experience a variety of emotions,
sometimes within the same day or even hour. I have been excited,
frustrated and unnerved by the various assignments that have come my
way, but I’ve never been completely satisfied.
And I’m glad.
I’m glad because through all of the emotional ups and downs, I’ve been
writing through it all. I’ve taken pen to paper (and fingers to keyboard)
and I’ve created. I’ve let inspiration flow through me and not stop at
merely a thought or an idea. I’ve made attempts, great and unpleasant.
I’ve made outlines and drafts. I’ve created stories.
I would like to thank Professor Susan Campbell Bartoletti and the
fabulous girls in Writer’s Workshop #2 who pushed and encouraged me
throughout the semester. It seems as though they were always there
with a hopeful word when I was in the midst of a particularly frustrating
moment.
I’m glad that I leave this course with friends, stories, tools and
(especially) dissatisfaction. I feel the latter will be the source to push
me in continuing my journey of becoming a writer upon the conclusion
of this class and upon the conclusion of my graduate studies at Penn
State.
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27. About the Author
Lindsay Bayer is a children’s author concentrating on literature for
preschool and kindergarten aged students. She is pursuing her
Master’s Degree in Children’s Literature from Penn State University.
Lindsay has worked exclusively in the field of early childhood education
as a teacher, consultant and quality standards coordinator. She is also
active in community organizations that raise awareness of issues facing
children and families. Lindsay and her husband Christopher reside in
Western Illinois. In her free time, Lindsay enjoys reading, practicing
yoga and volunteering.
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28. Recommendations
Lindsay’s whimsical tales take Lindsay has worked with
children right into her stories children for years and has paid
where they can see, feel, and attention to the small details
experience what they are that capture a child’s attention
reading. She has produced great while they’re reading. She is
tales to spark the imagination determined to help children
and have some fun! There are develop a lifelong love of
very few good stories like learning and her books will help
Lindsay’s out there today. young people do just that.
Carri Jones Vera Hinrichsen
Children’s Ministry Worker Preschool Director
Orion, IL Rock Island, IL
I’m incredibly excited to read The humor and creativity
Lindsay’s stories to my own son. Lindsay has woven into her tales
Her words capture the fun, is fresh but lasting. Her books
imagination and warmth of will delight children for
being a child. I can’t wait to read generations to come.
more of her work. Kristina Kay Bernal
Miranda Vinar Mother and Artist
Mother Victoria, British Columbia,
Moline, IL Canada
Lindsay’s writing is great for
children and also adults looking
for a cute pick-me-up. Look for
Lindsay as an up-and-coming
children’s author.
Denise Algren
Training Executive
Sherrard, IL
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