interpersonal communications

1. Default body

2. The Art of Beginnings Fear of Strangers What You Say to Yourself The Approach Plan to get Rejected Body Language Questions Ritual/Informational Active Listening Self Disclosure 8 Simple Rules and Suggestions Culture Perception

3. Fear of Strangers Fear of strangers comes from 2 sources: 1. Outmoded 19th century social restrictions. 2. Self-depreciating internal monologue. "I really wish I was less of a thinking man and more of a fool not afraid of rejection." --Billy Joel (Culture) “ Social Rejection Shares Somatosensory Representations With Physical Pain.” --National Academy of Sciences

4. Analyze What You Say to Yourself... (Perception) you." won 't ' enjoy people you could enjoy and the painful conclusion that "The belief that you are unworthy inevitably leads to awkward self-consciousness "Make a commitment to yourself to use descriptive rather than negative labels in your internal monologues." --Messages p. 205, 206

5. The Approach... (Perception) "They'll think I want something from them." "He probably wouldn't be attracted to me." "They're nice but wouldn't want to be friends with me." "She's gorgeous. What would she see in me?" "Notice that all these statements leave you hoping for something undeserved. It's time to reframe the meeting experience so that the stakes aren't so high. Meetings with interesting strangers shouldn't be a test to see if they want to sleep with you, want to be your friend or mate, or even particularly like you." --Messages p. 207

6. Plan to get Rejected... (Perception)

7. Body Language... (Culture)

8. Questions... (Cultural) Ritual Informational Knowledge Free information

9. Active Listening... (Perception)

10. Self Disclosure... (Perception)

12. BIBLIOGRAPHY Davis Ph.D, Martha, and Patrick Fanning. &quot;Chapter 14 Making Contact.&quot; Messages: The Communication Skills Book. By Matthew McKay Ph.D. Oakland: New Harbinger Publications, Inc., 2009. 205-06. Davis Ph.D, Martha, and Patrick Fanning. &quot;14 Making Contact.&quot; Messages: The Communication Skills Book. By Matthew McKay Ph.D. Oakland: New Harbinger Publications, Inc., 2009. 207. &quot;March 2011.&quot; Jury Bias. 11 Dec. 2011 <http://www.jurybiasblog.com/2011_03_01_archive.html>. &quot;Rejection Quotes - BrainyQuote.&quot; Famous Quotes at BrainyQuote. 11 Dec. 2011<http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/rejection.html>.