1) The author had been following their biological son Matthew on social media for years after placing him for adoption. 2) After several attempts at connecting on LinkedIn, Matthew finally accepted the author's connection request in January 2014. 3) The author sent Matthew a message introducing themselves as his biological mother and saying they wanted to get to know him but would not interfere in his life. Matthew did not respond for several days.

1. I had beenfollowing Matthew (Michael) forseveral years.Ifoundhimone daybychance onMySpace
while he wasat college atEmoryUniversity.Ifeltproudthathe was smart enoughtoget intoEmory.I
was exhilaratedtosee the dynamiclooking,handsome, exuberanthandsomeyoungmanhe hadgrown
into.I inhaledall of the pictures.Ipouredoverhisdescriptionsof himself …hislikes,the moviesand
bookshe likesandfoundsomany similaritiesinourtastesforthe misbegotten,the offbeat;Iespecially
likedhisremarkthathe enjoyedintellectualgymnastics. Icontinuedtotryto follow himincomingyears
and foundthathe hadmovedon to BrooklynLaw School. Duringthistime,Ididnot intrude inhislife
whichhad beenmyintentionsince givinghimupat birth.Ifeel itwouldbe selfish. Ifoolishly registered
at a website where Icouldbe locatedbya childlookingforhisbirthmomIN NEW JERSEY whichiswhere
I live – butMatthewlivesinandwas born inNew York. Wtf. What was I thinking? Again,Idigress.
Time passes. Istill watch. I see Matthew has gottena jobat a law firmin Manhattanand has losthis
college lookforaslickedback hair,suitand tie businesslook. I’mhappyforhim. I lookfor himon
LinkedIn. Ifindhim. Remember,Iknowhisname. The court made a mistake anddidnotblack outthe
adoptive parentsnamesinall the placesthatitappeared,andI saw it. So I sendMatthew a requestto
connect. Yes,I dive inthe pool. Matthew doesn’tanswer. Afterall,whoisthisperson? He doesnot
knowmy name. But doeshe? WhenMatthew was bornI lefta letterinthe swaddlingblanket
addressedtothe adoptive parentsaskingthemtoexplaintothe babywhentheyfeltthe time wasright
that the reasonI gave himup for adoptionwasthatI wantedhimto have a betterlife thanIcould give
himbut that I lovedhimandthatI wantedhimtobe clear onthat fact that he wasalwaysloved. Why
didI write thisletter?Because whenthe social workerresearchedthe potential families,The PekFamily
statedthat theyintendedtotell Matthew he wasadopted. So,Ithought,perhapshe mightknow my
name, afterall,I signedmyname tothe letter.
In anyevent,Matthewdidnotconnectwithme. Overthe course of several months toayear I senthim
4-5 requeststoconnect,changingmyprofile picture eachtime. InJanuaryof 2014 Matthew accepted
my connection. Iwasstunned. He didnot senda message of anykindbut justacceptedthe connection.
I wrote back. “Hi Matthew,I'm Kathleen.Iamyourbiological mother.Iwill notinterferewithyourlife.I
will notintrude onyourlife.However,youare welcome intomylife.Iwasafraidand joyouswhenyou
were born.You were soyoungand so wasI. You were/are brilliantandsowas/amI.We are kindred
spirits.Perhapswe are the same inmany ways:) It mightbe funto findout.I have twosonsnow ages23
and 21 but youare myfirstborn. You are my star. You rose to the galaxyjustyour fatherandI thought
youwe couldcreate.Absolutelybrilliantand beautiful.Youlooklike mysonAndrew - somuch! Same
smile!Iwishyouhappiness.Iamwell.Iama goodperson.Iam notcrazy, on drugs,on welfare,on
assistance,etc....Iwasat a time whenIwasyoungand lost...Itriedtodoa goodthingbecause I came
fromwelfare anddidn'twantthat for you.... I have a goodlife now ...a very,verygoodlife ...if you want
to findme call me at xxxxx. Myheart and home are opento you.”Matthew didn’tanswerforseveral
days. I was goingto findoutthat thiswas histypical behaviorbutatthe current momentIwas checking
LinkedInseveraltimesaday.
I sentMatthewa message onLinkedIn. “Doyou wantto have anythingtodo withme?” Three days
latera message came back to me from Matthew …”MOM!, I’ve beenlookingforyouandhopingto find
you.You don’tknowhowmuch thismeansto me to findyou!” And sothe fall began.