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- 1. What about me? Karen Biggs Chief Executive
- 2. “Because I want to do all I can to help the person I love get better” Families engagement in treatment in Glasgow has increased successful completion by 55%
- 3. “Because I need to know that someone recognises my pain”
- 4. “Because I need some practical help with coping with the chaos addiction has brought to my life” “when she went into prison my daughter was looked after and had everyone trying to help her, no one had ever asked me if I needed help before and I am always the one left picking up the pieces” Each month we have 300 ‘contacts’ with families of people in prison offering practical support and advice.
- 5. “Because I need to recover from my daughters addiction” “It was emotional but hearing things that others are going through and relating to those issues made me feel that I’m not alone” Mum of Service User I’m hoping it will be something that creates a sense of unity and strength for those families that often feel they are on their own - Phoenix Manager, Wirral
- 6. “Because I need some help to repair my damaged family” “I had a really nice time and I loved eating sweets and I loved seeing my dad”
- 7. “My Mum and Dad supported me immensely, always have. Our relationship is much better and honest now. It means everything to have that relationship with my parents.” Carl Allcott Phoenix Futures Graduate “To see him like this, I feel like I have my son back. It’s nice, I feel happy. He’s a good lad.” Mum of Carl Allcott
- 8. “ Because I deserve to have a mum and dad”
Editor's Notes
- Families First Conference A few months ago I was listening to a woman, talk about her experience of treatment. Sadly her story was fairly typical, years of trying to tackle her addiction with various different treatments, years of methadone and using on top. She was reflecting on what made the difference this time. What was it about where she was and what support she had received, that allowed her to become clean. At the end of discussion she said. “You know my mum said, she knew the last time I was in treatment would be different because it was the first time anyone took the trouble to ask how she was. “Mum had been going to appointments for 10 years with her daughter. Making sure she attended. Re engaging her when she lapsed. No one, she said, throughout those 10 years had once asked her how SHE was? And when someone did, quietly in the waiting room, whilst her daughter was being seen say "How are you doing" she felt like finally someone recognised that she needed looking after too. Unfortunately, and I don't need to tell you, ignoring the needs of families of those with an addiction is all too common. However what this story says to me is that a successful recovery requires support for the family as well as support for those with the addiction. So why don’t we do it? 68% of our service users said their mum was the family member they had most contact with 48% said that their mum was their main support in their recovery. I fear that most of the carers of people with addictions are women, in some cases wives and daughters but mostly Mums. And the reality of the world is that Mums for various reasons often don’t say “What about me”. We have worked hard in Phoenix over the last few years to engage Families in what we do. I don’t want to give the impression that we have it cracked there is much more that we could do, but I am happy to share some of our learning with you. When we ask families why support is so important to them they give us a range of answers. Im going to use their voices, the voices of the families who have used our services, to set out a case for family engagement and to give some ideas about the range of support that can be offered. So lets ask the question why should treatment providers think about families
- Because I want to do all I can to help my loved one get better In our Glasgow residential service we run fortnightly groups for families members. They come to the residential and we offer them a safe and supportive environment to talk about their feelings, to speak openly with those in treatment about their experience of addiction Not only does that provide a network for families to support each other but it helps to rebuild or build a relationship of trust between the service user and their family that will be vital to sustain recovery past treatment.Since we have been running the sessions we have seen our completion rates in Glasgow increase by 55%. We are going to be opening the sessions up to family members of graduates and future service users.
- “Because I need to know that someone recognises my pain” The time when someone is about to leave treatment can be a really anxious time for families. You may think it should be an exciting time but if someone has been in residential treatment particularly and away from their family for some time, everyone involved can worry about what life will be like,For the person who is in treatment they worry about how the family will react to the new drug free them. For the family they can worry that the chaos and deceit will return. A mum said to me once about her sons return, I was really angry. He had had 6 months of all this care and support and what had I got. I was still hurting and he thought he could come back fixed and everything would be ok. Of course she loved her son and wanted everything to be ok but she also wanted someone to recognise that she had been hurt too. In Birmingham we provide families with an opportunity to discuss that pain before the loved one returns home. Led by a clinical psychiatrist these are hard interventions and not all families are ready for them but It’s an opportunity for loved ones to discuss how addiction has impacted them, The pain they have faced and an opportunity for the person in recovery to say sorry.
- “Because I need some practical help with coping with the chaos addiction has brought to my life” Our family services in the visitors centres of 5 prisons in London delivers help to families of people in prison with addiction issues. It is independent of any services we deliver to people with substance misuse. We help with whatever issues the family may have, debt advice, housing, childrens safeguarding and refer people on to other community services where needed. Each month we deliver 300 interventions to families of people in those prisons. When we offered help to one mother this is what she said. “when she went into prison my daughter was looked after and had everyone trying to help her, no one had ever asked me if I needed help before and I am always the one left picking up the pieces”
- “Because I need to recover from my daughters addiction” Our staff visited a service in Belgium and experienced a family support group there run by staff of the service but exclusively for families and loved ones. We stole the idea and on the Wirral our FLAMES workshops provides an opportunity for mutual and emotional support through shared experiences as well as providing a greater awareness around the treatment and recovery process. Families are able to ask those questions that they don’t always get answered about the treatment their loved ones are going through and get support from each other to help them deal with the recovery process. Its run by staff and a graduate of the service ( someone who has come through treatment) also offers their perspective comes for part of the meeting to speak to the families. “It was emotional but hearing things that others are going through and relating to those issues made me feel that I’m not alone” Stared in the Wirral but we are planning to take this across the country into all of our services. “Hoping it will be something that creates a sense of unity and strength for those families that often feel they are on their own
- Because I need some help to repair my damaged family Half of our service users have children being looked after by someone else ( in most cases a grandparent). If someones recovery is going to be successful damaged families need some help to repair. We help to do that by bringing families into our services not just for the serious stuff, but for the fun stuff too. Fun days in the summer, Christmas parties and the most recent one a Halloween party for adults and kids alike. This lets families learn how to have fun together again in a safe environment. It allows families to see where their loved ones are and for children that it is important.
- Its easy for us as a society to rely on families to support each other in difficult times, and because they do that so well it should be incumbent on us to support families when they need help.All stories of recovery are inspiring but somehow for me seeing a family recovery together has a special significance.
- Throughout the last 20 minsIve used the voices of families to make a case for involving them in recovery. Voices so far have all been adult voices and at Phoenix we are acutely aware that the voice of the child is often ignored. Want to end with giving a child a voice who often I think say so much more with very few words. If that’s not reason enough for us to put families first I don’t know what is.