How to Be Confidence in Any Situation

Table of Contents
Chapter 1:
Introduction
Chapter 2:
Basics to Building Confidence
Chapter 3:
How to Conquer Fear in Any Situation
Chapter 4:
The Art of Public Speaking
Chapter 5:
How to Fearlessly Approach People
Chapter 6:
Instant Confidence Boosters
Chapter 7:
25 Killer Actions to Boost Your Self-Confidence

Chapter 1:
Introduction
Synopsis
When you have high self-confidence, you are able to take risks
and face new challenges with an open mind that you can
achieve what your personal goals are.
You believe in yourself that you will succeed and that you can make
things happen. This allows you to do things that will direct you
reaching your dreams and being the person you want to become.

The Advantages
On the other hand, when you have low self-confidence, you are
afraid of taking risks and this disables you to grab opportunities
that will help you achieve things in your life. You are doubtful
with your skills and capabilities and your mind is filled with
negative thoughts.
Hence, even if you desire to be a better person in the future
with a lot of achievements, you cannot take a step to reach that
stage in your life. You are getting coward of realizing your
visions.
Being highly confident and over confident are two different
things you must know for you to be guided. High-confidence
enables you do things right for your success. It will enhance
your performance in whatever tasks you encounter. However,
being too much confident will lead you to frustrations. Why?
Because when you are too much confident, you neglect the
simple things to prepare in pursuit of your success. You are
thinking you can do everything, and when you are not able to
do it, you will find yourself grieving too much for your loss.
Perhaps there are aspects in your life that contribute to your
current level of self-confidence. Well, self-confidence is really
founded in your belief in yourself. However, the people around
you can also affect your upbringing as a person.

One of the most influential people in young people’s lives is
their parents. Yes, parents know best for their children.
Definitely they should be the first persons who will help youth
to build confidence within them and seek to achieve things for
their future.
Yet, we have to admit, not all parents are applying what they
know is best for their children. It is sad to note that parents are
abusing their children, battered them, shout at them often and
give them a sense of unimportance. Hence, youth with this kind
of family would fell they are not needed, that they don’t belong
and that they do not have worth at all.
Other people who greatly affect young people’s level confidence
are their peers. Young as they are, they would want to belong in
group of friends whom they can share their thoughts and
problems. They seek to be with their peers whom they can be
who and what they really are. If the youngsters do not belong in
any peer group and stays on their own, they will feel that
nobody like them. They will feel that they are unwanted and
that they have no people to get along with. As a result, their
self-confidence rockets down and becomes low.
How about you? What level are you in? Awareness of your
strengths and weakness as well as you’re your ability to achieve
things will help you to understand what you are now as a
person. As you further read this book, you will know how you
can succeed in life with building high level of self-confidence.

Chapter 2:
Basics to Building Confidence
Synopsis
Is self-confidence, born or made?
It can be both. Some people are born naturally with confidence.
Others also acquired self-confidence as they seek to learn and
understand it. Hence, they are the ones who made themselves
confident.
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Building
You too have the hope of becoming highly confident and find
for yourself a higher ground to achieve success. You just have to
be open to accept new knowledge and learn it.
Basically, you must understand how important self-confidence
is in your life. With no second thoughts, high level of confidence
is definitely very important because it defines how much you
can be able to achieve in your life. Also, it contributes to your
happiness as it impacts the ideal “you” you are eager to become.
When you have knowledge I this importance, you will develop
to have self-confidence that will drive you to be a successful
person in whatever endeavour you have.
Self-confidence develops your ability to influence other people
around you. The fact is that you cannot take a hold of any
leadership role unless you have confidence in yourself. A leader
has the ability to influence others to follow and convince them
in your ideas. Without self-confidence, you yourself will be the
first one to doubt your abilities.
This will affect the way you lead your subordinates. As research
has shown, people are most likely to disapprove an idea from
someone who proposes the plan is nervous at the time of

proposal. Moreover, they will not trust you as well since even
you don’t trust yourself. If you are confident enough, you can
sell your ideas effectively to them and they will have a
confidence in you as their leader.
Perhaps, the best time to start building confidence is during a
person’s childhood. You can help children acquire confidence as
they are yet much more flexible in accepting new knowledge
and suggestions.
Children will low level of self-confidence are those who have
poor performance in school. They do not participate in
activities that much and most of the time spent a day alone in
the corner of the classroom. Somehow, you can teach them how
to overcome the attitude of being shy and non-participative.
Children as they are, defending themselves of things they don’t
want to do is yet a difficult thing for them to do. Normally in
school, children are forced by their parents to join extra-
curricular activities which they might not be happy joining at.
Then, when they fail to perform it, a portion of their confidence
is taken away by that activity.
You can make a change in the lives of these children. They are
very vulnerable to low self-confidence and you can contribute to

bring success in their lives. A good foundation of building self-
confidence is when they are yet in their childhood phase.

Chapter 3:
How to Conquer Fear in Any Situation
Synopsis
Are your fears taking the most out of your life? You don’t need
to suffer from all these fears. You can overcome them.
Fear is something you cannot take away. However, you can do
something to lessen the pain it will cause you. This is not about
your fear of heights, snakes, darkness, water, or any like.
Only the doctors and psychiatrist can give you the solution to
those fears. The focuses of this are your fears towards reaching
for your goal of succeeding in your life.
Are you afraid of talking to people? Are you afraid of getting
mistakes? Somehow, these are some of our fears that will
hinder us from accomplishing things we want to achieve.
How To
You can conquer you fear in any situation you are in. First, you
must have a clear understanding of what your fear is all about.
What causes it should be known by you for you to be able to do
appropriate things to overcome it.

When you have full understanding of your fear, it would be
easier for you to make the necessary adjustments to conquer it
in time.
As soon as you have known your fear already, you must have
the courage to face it. Facing your fears is the only access to
overcoming it. You cannot spend the rest of your life avoiding
your fear. You cannot hide from it. You cannot go away from it.
The only thing you can do is face it. By then, you will know how
to surpass it ahead.

When you get to face your fears, get exposed to it. Or it can be
the other way around; allow your fears to penetrate and get
exposed to you. As you get exposed to your fears, you will find it
easy to go through it. Have an ample dosage of it and see for
yourself how you can make things happen.
While you are exposing yourself in your fear, trust that
someone will deliver you from it. There is a Supreme Being that
can help you along the way. Trust in His providence. He is
under control and He can give you the wisdom you need to
overcome life’s fears and obstacles.
Change your perspective.
Somehow, a positive outlook in life will help you get through
your fear and overcome it. Whatever negative things that
happen in your life, there is still a future that awaits you. Focus
on the positive things and underplay the negative thoughts
within you.
Finally, don’t linger on the past. Instead, fix your eyes on the
present and the future that is waiting ahead of you. Set your
mind in the prize you want to achieve in this life, the prize of
reaching the success peak.

Chapter 4:
The Art of Public Speaking
Synopsis
The art of public speaking is not just about merely delivering
those long speeches. It is about conquering every struggle you
encounter as you seek to express your thoughts and ideas to a
large number of audiences listening. The quality of your
speaking matters most. And this is where you should be able to
learn more.
The Art
The best way to deliver your speech is having a relaxed mind
and body. Butterflies may be flying all around your stomach,
but manage yourself. Get a breath of fresh air and see the
importance of being relaxed all throughout your speech.

Your knees might be trembling, your voice might be shaky, your
mouth might be about to dry up. So, just relax. Take it easy.
Don’t think that it will be your greatest downfall. Instead think
of it as an avenue for you to better the lives of the people who
will be listening to you in a few minutes.
Get a little nervous. Being overconfident is a must avoid.
Sometimes, the worst frustration comes from a person who
thinks everything can be done in no sweat. In a way, that
nervous feeling you have can help get the adrenaline to get
through the challenge of public speaking.
Think about a scenario of your house burning. Because of your
nervousness, you were able to carry your refrigerator alone.
Amazing, right? It happens to a lot of people.
Adrenaline rush can help you get things done. Same is true with
public speaking. You can do it with that little dose of
nervousness you have. So, exploit it. You can do it well while in
the state of being nervous.
Never attempt to achieve perfection. Let yourself be human.
Nobody is perfect; the same hold true for you. No public
speaking is perfect. Definitely, nobody in the audience expect

perfection from you. Simply aim to express yourself to the
people around.
They want to hear your experiences, your advices and your life
insights. Inspire them with what you say. In the end, that is
what they need- inspiration to live life at its best. Never try to
impress them by being perfect because that is something
impossible.
Develop a positive pressure. Yes, pressure can be useful as you
deliver your speech. However, you must be able to control the
pressure in such a way that it gets you better in speaking. Some
people get pressured and they fail.
Some also gets pressured and succeed. Choose you side. Get
pressured to deliver the speech well and not the kind of
pressure that will leave you afraid of taking the risk.
Practice it well. Practicing has always been such a very effective
tool for you to deliver your speech. Well, you can employ all
those tools, techniques and methods you have learned from the
professionals.

But, practicing your own way and style is still way off better. As
you get to practice your speech, you get used to it and
familiarize every detail of it.
Hence, it will be an easier task for you to deliver it in front of
the people. Most people would suggest that you practice it the
night before your actual speech. By that, you will be able to see
what things are yet lacking in your speech and you will be able
to work on it still.
Lastly, visualize how your speech will look like. With that, you
can be guided of the progress of your speech.
As the day comes for you to finally deliver your speech, relax
and be yourself. Be optimistic. Believe in yourself. Always think
you can do it.

Chapter 5:
How to Fearlessly Approach People
Synopsis
Break Walls, Build Bridges
Sometimes, we get so engrossed with ourselves that we are
unknowingly building walls around us. It seems we do not want
to be interrupted, interfered and disrupted.
We find our own selves a home of refuge and comfort that we
tend to exclude others from it..

Approaching People
However, in approaching people, the wall we build is not
anymore a protection. Instead, it is a barrier that hinders us
from connecting to people around us. Approaching people is
leaving your comfort zone to connect with people.
So, why keep those walls? Break it and get through. You will
never know how it is like to meet new people and learn from
them unless you break those walls.
Anyhow, you can replace those walls with bridges. Bridges are
avenues where you can cross and reach out to others. Share
your life with them and learn from them as well. Bridges are

what you need to get connected. Build those bridges and
approach people with confidence.
Develop a Friendly Mind
The power of your mind greatly affects how you interact with
the people around. Everything we feel and experience is
because of the way our mind thinks and how we perceive the
situations we encounter.
If we think a problem is very difficult to solve, it would really be
hard for you to find solutions for it. If you think you are not as
good as others, your insecurity will take its toll on you. That is
how powerful your mind can be.
Same is true for the way you mingle with other people. Their
conduct, manners and attitudes may be acceptable to you or not
depending on the way you think of these aspects. You can think
of hating them, and you really will. But if you think of liking
them, you will definitely find yourself getting along with them
well.
So, develop a friendly perception. See things on the brighter
side.

Be exciting
Don’t get yourself too overwhelmed on something that you keep
on sharing that subject to the people around you. Be observant
in their responses and get to know if they are still interested
with what you are talking about or if they are still listening to
you. Don’t bore them with the same subject in the whole
duration of your conversation. Keep them excited, don’t get
them bored.
Listen more, Talk less
Most of us want to talk more and share to others our feelings
and anything under the sun. However, talking more will only
show them you only want yourself to be talked about. Get
interested in their lives. Listen to their thoughts.
Give them the chance to be talked about. As much as you want
to be given attention, show them your eagerness to be a part of
their lives. Never focus on yourself. Be sensitive to them. Get
yourself curious with what are happening in them as well.
Limit your questions
Asking questions is an effective tool to show you are curious
about other people’s lives. However, throwing a lot of questions
to them will give them a wrong signal on you. Don’t think of

yourself as an investigator or an examiner that you will ask
everything and even anything about them. Know how to shift from
asking into making a statement. Balance your conversation.
Be yourself
Perhaps, this is the best advice for you. Whatever you are
engaged into whether you are conversing with people or
performing tasks, always wear the real you. Don’t think that it
would be better if you will be the person they want you to
become.
Instead, show them how you value yourself and how you seek to
approach them in the most natural way of being yourself. You
don’t need to buy expensive clothes to fit in, or wear beautiful
makeup if you are not used to it. Being you is still the best way
to approach people with no fear.

Chapter 6:
Instant Confidence Boosters
Synopsis
“Let’s cross the bridge when we get there.”
This saying is perhaps most people’s excuses before they get to
realize the importance of having self-confidence.
Change is inevitable. Change is constant. It happens to
everything. It happens to everyone. However, the issue lies in
the time we think it is right for us to change.
Boosts
Imagine yourself in one scenario with a glass of water. You were
given a glass with hot water in it. When you were told to hold it,
you immediately released because the pain was not bearable.

Now, imagine yourself holding a glass, gradually poured with
hot water in it. At first, you are still holding the glass because
the water is not yet full and its heat is still bearable. Soon, the
glass was filled with hot water and all you can do was to lose
your grip off that glass. Why did you not release it immediately?
Because you thought you can bear it long. You held it tight, not
until the heat was getting worse.
What is common among the two examples?
Most of us would only consider the idea of change when we
cannot anymore endure the pain of holding something in us.
And definitely, that is how we treat our lack of self-confidence.
The fact is that, lack of self-confidence will not hurt us right
away. How good it might be if lack of confidence operates in our
lives just like the first example above- that when we lack it, we
will immediately feel the pain of it and would release it
immediately because it is giving us too much pain.
It is sad to note that the lack of self-confidence is like the
second example. We thought its fine. We thought we can bear
it. We thought
we can endure it. But the pain will be experienced gradually.
Until we realize the pain is enough for us to let go of and shift to
another perspective, we will never lose our grip of it.

Perhaps, we consider unlocking our confidence when we are left
with no more options. When the world is already crashing us
and destructing us, that is the time when we unlock our
confidence. We treat it as last resort to our problem, when in
fact lack of self-confidence itself is the problem we need to
solve.
All of us will definitely have our own turning-points in our lives.
Time will come when we will finally see the importance of
boosting the confidence within us.
Yet, the best time is now.
When will you think of developing high level of confidence?
When all opportunities around are already gone?
When you are already old and cannot exploit it any longer?
When you are about to die?
Do you think that is the time?
Definitely it’s not. In fact it would be too late if that’s the case.
Decide on things wisely. Now is not yet too late for you to
change your life. You can make things happen if only you
understand how confidence can be helpful to you.
The word “confidence” may not be pleasing and appealing to us,
but when we are able to experience it, we will see how

wonderful and productive it is to bring confidence wherever we
are.
I would not probably be an easy task. But you will absolutely
learn it and appreciate it along the way.

Chapter 7:
25 Killer Actions to Boost Your Self-Confidence
Synopsis
Taking control of your
Self-confidence
If you are low in self-confidence, is it possible to do things that
will change that? Is your self-confidence in your control?
While it may not seem so, if you are low in self-confidence, I
strongly believe that you can do things to increase your self-
confidence. It is not genetic, and you do not have to be reliant
on others to increase your self-confidence. And if you believe
that you are not very competent, not very smart, not very
attractive, etc. … that can be changed.
You can do this by taking control of your life, and taking control
of your self-confidence. By taking concrete actions that improve
your competence, your self-image, you can increase that self-
confidence, without the help of anyone else.
Below, I outline 25 things that will help you do that. None of
them is revolutionary, none of them will do it all by themselves.
The list certainly isn’t comprehensive. These are just some of
my favourite things, stuff that’s worked for me.

And you don’t need to do all of them, as if this were a recipe …
pick and choose those that appeal to you, maybe just a couple at
first, and give them a try. If they work, try others. If they don’t,
try others.
Here they are, in no particular order:
1.Groom yourself.
This seems like such an obvious one, but it’s amazing how
much of a difference a shower and a shave can make in
your feelings of self-confidence and for your self-image.
There have been days when I turned my mood around
completely with this one little thing.
2.Dress nicely.
A corollary of the first item above … if you dress nicely,
you’ll feel good about yourself. You’ll feel successful and
presentable and ready to tackle the world. Now, dressing
nicely means something different for everyone … it doesn’t
necessarily mean wearing a $500 outfit, but could mean
casual clothes that are nice looking and presentable.

3.Photoshop your self-image.
Our self-image means so much to us, more than we often
realize. We have a mental picture of ourselves, and it
determines how confident we are in ourselves. But this
picture isn’t fixed and immutable. You can change it. Use
your mental Photo shopping skills, and work on your self-
image. If it’s not a very good one, change it. Figure out why
you see yourself that way, and find a way to fix it.
4.Think positive.
One of the things I learned when I started running, about
two years ago, what how to replace negative thoughts (see
next item) with positive ones. How I can actually change
my thoughts, and by doing so make great things
happened. With this tiny little skill, I was able to train for
and run a marathon within a year. It sounds so trite,
so Norman Vincent Peale, but my goodness this works.
Seriously. Try it if you haven’t.
5.Kill negative thoughts.
Goes hand-in-hand with the above item, but it’s so
important that I made it a separate item. You have to learn
to be aware of your self-talk, the thoughts you have about

yourself and what you’re doing. When I was running,
sometimes my mind would start to say, “This is too hard. I
want to stop and go watch TV.” Well, I soon learned to
recognize this negative self-talk, and soon I learned a trick
that changed everything in my life: I would imagine that a
negative thought was a bug, and I would vigilantly be on
the lookout for these bugs. When I caught one, I would
stomp on it (mentally of course) and squash it. Kill it dead.
Then replace it with a positive one. (“C’mon, I can do this!
Only one mile left!”)
Know yourself and you will win all battles. – Sun Tzu
6.Get to know yourself.
When going into battle, the wisest general learns to know
his enemy very, very well. You can’t defeat the enemy
without knowing him. And when you’re trying to overcome
a negative self-image and replace it with self-confidence,
your enemy is yourself. Get to know yourself well. Start
listening to your thoughts. Start writing a journal about
yourself, and about the thoughts you have about yourself,
and analyzing why you have such negative thoughts. And
then think about the good things about yourself, the things
you can do well, the things you like. Start thinking about
your limitations, and whether they’re real limitations or
just ones you’ve allowed to be placed there, artificially. Dig

deep within yourself, and you’ll come out (eventually) with
even greater self-confidence.
7.Act positive.
More than just thinking positive, you have to put it into
action. Action, actually, is the key to developing self-
confidence. It’s one thing to learn to think positive, but
when you start acting on it, you change yourself, one
action at a time. You are what you do, and so if you change
what you do, you change what you are. Act in a positive
way, take action instead of telling yourself you can’t, be
positive. Talk to people in a positive way, put energy into
your actions. You’ll soon start to notice a difference.
8.Be kind and generous.
Oh, so corny. If this is too corny for you, move on. But for
the rest of you, know that being kind to others, and
generous with yourself and your time and what you have,
is a tremendous way to improve your self-image. You act
in accordance with the Golden Rule, and you start to feel
good about yourself, and to think that you are a good
person. It does wonders for your self-confidence, believe
me.

One important key to success is self-confidence. A key to self-
confidence is preparation. – Arthur Ashe
9.Get prepared.
It’s hard to be confident in yourself if you don’t think you’ll
do well at something. Beat that feeling by preparing
yourself as much as possible. Think about taking an exam:
if you haven’t studied, you won’t have much confidence in
your abilities to do well on the exam. But if you studied
your butt off, you’re prepared, and you’ll be much more
confident. Now think of life as your exam, and prepare
yourself.
10.Knowyour principles and live them.
What are the principles upon which your life is built? If
you don’t know, you will have trouble, because your life
will feel directionless. For myself, I try to live the Golden
Rule (and fail often). This is my key principle, and I try to
live my life in accordance with it. I have others, but they
are mostly in some way related to this rule (the major
exception being to “Live my Passion”). Think about your
principles … you might have them but perhaps you haven’t
given them much thought. Now think about whether you

actually live these principles, or if you just believe in them
but don’t act on them.
11.Speak slowly.
Such a simple thing, but it can have a big difference in how
others perceive you. A person in authority, with authority,
speaks slowly. It shows confidence. A person who feels
that he isn’t worth listening to will speak quickly, because
he doesn’t want to keep others waiting on something not
worthy of listening to. Even if you don’t feel the confidence
of someone who speaks slowly, try doing it a few times. It
will make you feel more confident. Of course, don’t take it
to an extreme, but just don’t sound rushed either.
12.Stand tall.
I have horrible posture, so it will sound hypocritical for
me to give this advice, but I know it works because I try it
often. When I remind myself to stand tall and straight, I
feel better about myself. I imagine that a rope is pulling
the top of my head toward the sky, and the rest of my
body straightens accordingly. As an aside, people who
stand tall and confident are more attractive. That’s a good
thing any day, in my book.
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13.Increase competence.
How do you feel more competent? By becoming more
competent. And how do you do that? By studying and
practicing. Just do small bits at a time. If you want to be a
more competent writer, for example, don’t try to tackle
the entire profession of writing all at once. Just begin to
write more. Journal, blog, write short stories, do some
freelance writing. The more you write, the better you’ll
be. Set aside 30 minutes a day to write (for example), and
the practice will increase your competence.
14.Set a small goal and achieve it.
People often make the mistake of shooting for the moon,
and then when they fail, they get discouraged. Instead,
shoot for something much more achievable. Set a goal
you know you can achieve, and then achieve it. You’ll feel
good about that. Now set another small goal and achieve
that. The more you achieve small goals, the better you’ll
be at it, and the better you’ll feel. Soon you’ll be setting
bigger (but still achievable) goals and achieving those too.
15.Change a small habit.
Not a big one, like quitting smoking. Just a small one,
like writing things down. Or waking up 10 minutes

earlier. Or drinking a glass of water when you wake up.
Something small that you know you can do. Do it for a
month. When you’ve accomplished it, you’ll feel like a
million bucks.
16.Focus on solutions.
If you are a complainer, or focus on problems, change
your focus now. Focusing on solutions instead of
problems is one of the best things you can do for your
confidence and your career. “I’m fat and lazy!” So how
can you solve that? “But I can’t motivate myself!” So how
can you solve that? “But I have no energy!” So what’s the
solution?
17.Smile. Another trite one.
But it works. I feel instantly better when I smile, and it
helps me to be kinder to others as well. A little tiny thing
that can have a chain reaction. Not a bad investment of
your time and energy.
18.Volunteer.
Related to the “be kind and generous” item above, but
more specific. It’s the holiday season right now … can you
find the time to volunteer for a good cause, to spread

some holiday cheer, to make the lives of others better?
It’ll be some of the best time you’ve ever spent, and an
amazing side benefit is that you’ll feel better about
yourself, instantly.
19.Be grateful.
I’m a firm believer in gratitude, as anyone who’s been
reading this blog for very long knows well. But I put it
here because while being grateful for what you have in
life, for what others have given you, is a very humbling
activity … it can also be a very positive and rewarding
activity that will improve your self-image. Read more.
20.Exercise.
I seem to put this one on almost every list. But if I left it
off this list I would be doing you a disservice. Exercise
has been one of my most empowering activities in the last
couple years, and it has made me feel so much better
about myself.
All you have to do is take a walk a few times a week, and
you’ll see benefits. Start the habit.

21.Empower yourself with knowledge.
Empowering yourself, in general, is one of the best
strategies for building self-confidence. You can do that in
many ways, but one of the surest ways to empower
yourself is through knowledge. This is along the same
vein as building competence and getting prepared … by
becoming more knowledgeable, you’ll be more confident
… and you become more knowledgeable by doing
research and studying. The Internet is a great tool, of
course, but so are the people around you, people who
have done what you want, books, magazines, and
educational institutions.
22.Do something you’ve been procrastinatingon.
What’s on your to-do list that’s been sitting there? Do it
first thing in the morning, and get it out of the way. You’ll
feel great about yourself.
23.Get active.
Doing something is almost always better than not doing
anything. Of course, doing something could lead to
mistakes … but mistakes are a part of life. It’s how we
learn. Without mistakes, we’d never get better. So don’t

worry about those. Just do something. Get off your
butt and get active — physically, or active by taking steps
to accomplish something.
24.Workon small things.
Trying to take on a huge project or task can be
overwhelming and daunting and intimidating for anyone,
even the best of us. Instead, learn to break off small
chunks and work in bursts. Small little achievements
make you feel good, and they add up to big achievements.
Learn to work like this all the time, and soon you’ll be a
self-confident maniac.
25.Clear your desk.
This might seem like a small, simple thing (then again,
for some of you it might not be so small). But it has
always worked wonders for me. If my desk starts to get
messy, and the world around me is in chaos, clearing off
my desk is my way of getting a little piece of my life under
control. It is the calm in the centre of the storm around
me. Here’s how.

How to Be Confidence in Any Situation

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