This document provides descriptions of various characters from Homestuck. It summarizes each character in 1-3 sentences, noting their relation to other characters, appearance, and that they are presumed dead. The character analyses are provided from the perspective of someone who has read Act Six and makes occasional jokes or commentary about the characters.

1. Homestuck
Interpreted by someone on Act Six
Aka me

2. • This is aranea
• She’s related to
spiderbitch
• She’s obviously
dead look at dem
eyeballs
• She’s the more
tame version of
Vriska???
• Her glasses look
rocking they
really match her
eyes

3. • This is Cronus
• He’s related to Eridan
just look at that sign
• Less hipster
• Dead
• Dead
• I think all of them are
dead they are the
beta trolls
• He has nice eyebrows

4. • This is Damara
• I don’t know much about
her other than she wears
striped underwear I think?
• She says really dirty things
because no one can
understand her
• She speak japanese I think
• She’s related to aradia
• I would do the same thing if
no one could understand
me.
• Oh yeah she’s dead too
• They’re all dead

5. • Horuss
• I think he’s gaY??
• He’s related to Equis
• I couldn’t tell at first because he
didn’t pull a dumb fuck stunt by
breaking his horn
• I’m pretty sure he’s dead too
• His hair is longer than mine is
• He talks with a penis
• 8=>
• I’m pretty sure that’s that
• Oh yeah he’s pretty steampunk

6. • My future baby daddy
• Kankri Vantas
• Dead
• Deaddd
• He’s an emotional little girl
• AKA a justice blogger
• He thinks everyone is really
triggered by everything he
says??
• He talks like this: 9h my
really I didn’t mean to
trigger y9u that was a
h9rrible mistake I ap9l9gize
with my sincerest 6utt fuck
• He’s kranki a lot
• Oh I mean cranky
• No I don’t

7. • His mouth is
sewn shut
• Not sure why??
• He can’t talk so
he signs
• Him and Muelin
have something
kinky going on • Will never be
• This is Kurloz as great as
• I think I want Nepeta
him in my pants • Kurloz’s fuck
but I’m not buddy
sure?? • I think her
hair get stuck
in Kurloz’s
horns often

8. • Terezi has a fangirl crush
on her
• This is Latula
• I’m pretty sure she’s blind
• She could cut a bitch with
those horns
• Aranea’s enemy???
• My computer hackers father???
• Related to Sollux
• He has a cool hat
• His outfit is super tight I
• bet you can see EVERYTHING
• I mean everything
• Like his spine and ribcage
• I’m going to assume this asshole is
dead too

9. • This is Meenah
• She’s related to that bubble
mermaid aka Feferi
• She has really long braids
• Her pants are too long
• I think she raised Kankri
• Or maybe they’re kismesis idk
• It’s obvious she’s not wearing a bra yet
her tits are suspended
• Lucky skank
• Related to Kanaya
• Obviously Kanaya got her sense of style
from someone else
• White trash
• Gray trash
• Porrim

10. • Rufio
• Wasn’t this the guy
that Tavros concocted
in his head?
• He has cool hair
• I’m pretty sure Hussie
based him off of
another guy
• He has fairy wings so it
must mean he god
tiered
• He was a horse at one
point I think
• Horuss’s idea I don’t
even have to think for
the answer