1. Chapter One
My Name is Hasan
My name is Hasan. I'm fifteen. I was born in Damascus but moved to Homs when I was two
when my father got promoted. I had been sitting on the floor of my kitchen, for I don't know how
long, staring at the door which led to the hallway. I leaned my head against the edge of the
counter. I couldn't come to grips with the wreck my house was. Everything had been destroyed.
Including me.
"Hasan, I'm bored. Let's go."
My little sister, Ishtar (Star), was almost ten. We called her Ish. She was sort of stringy, with
hazel eyes and slightly mousy hair. And she was certain she was beautiful. She was Dad's
favorite. And she knew it.
"Sit back down." I said.
"No."
"Ish." I said, testily.
"You're not the boss of me."
I hit my head again, in frustration. This used to be my kitchen, the room we were in. After the
army shelled the city, the dirt and the soot stayed in the air for hours, falling on everything like
mist in a rainy forest.
"Who's the oldest one here?" I asked with my eyes closed.
"Hasan." She said, shortly.
"Who's the oldest family member in this room?"
"You are."
"And what has Dad always said when neither parent is there?"
"We don't know he's not here."
"He is not here. He's gone."
"Gone where exactly?"
"Somewhere else."
"I know what gone - "
"What has Dad always said when he and Mom aren't there?"
"The oldest sibling is in charge."
"What did Mom always say?"

2. "That when Mom and Dad aren't there, the oldest sibling is in charge."
"Fantastic," I said. "Now shut up."
She was about to open her mouth to retort when Asu spoke.
"I'm scared."
My little brother, Asu (The east), is five. Ever since he could walk, Asu has been following me
around like a lost puppy, whether I wanted him to or not. He's been staying closer these last few
months.
"I know," I said and rubbed his head in an awkward way, not really touching him much. "Just
stay tough for me and....."
I didn't really finish that sentence. I was scared too and not confident at all I would be
able to get them out of Homs alive. There's dirt everywhere. There's blood. There's bodies. I
didn't feel like I deserved to lie to him.
And I didn't feel like I should. Apart from the war not having to happen, I hated how it
had. I hated Assad for not giving into the protestors. He could have just resigned like the
Tunisian guy did - I forget his name. I hated the protestors for demanding reforms to democracy
in the first place. I hated Egypt because their revolution worked and ours, at least so far, didn't.
But then I took that back in my head. They had gotten rid of their dictator and they had
had elections. But then they had a billion coup's. Not much to envy there.
I hated the extremists who took advantage of the chaos to turn Syria into a shooting
gallery. I hated being alone. And I hated being in charge of these two. I could have left them
behind. But I hated my gut, weighing my down like an anchor.
I couldn't just leave them.
All my life, I've lived here in Homs. But I can't recognize it now. My street, my
neighbors, my mosque, my house, my life. And yes, my family.
"Are you hungry?" Ish asked Asu.
"Mm-hmm."
"Well," Ish said, gesturing in what I think she thought was grown up way, to herself, "I
would love to go get you some food. But someone won't let me!"
"Boom!" I said, sarcastically, with my fingers. "And Ish has unlocked a new
bitchy level. Master. Fifty bonus levels."
"You're so funny." Ish said and stood up.
"I am hungry Hasan." Asu said.

3. "Working on it."
"Are they going to start shelling again?"
"I don't know."
Asu as very good at making that wounded puppy, whimpering noise. I looked at him.
"Listen, I - "
I heard a board creak. I looked up and saw Ish walking to the hallway.
"Ish, stay here!" I shouted with a start.
"Why?" Ish whined as she turned around in the door frame.
I don't answer that. I just give her my well practiced, what do you think? Look.
She huffed and sat back down next to me. "We can't stay here forever."
To be honest, I didn't think past getting out of Mom's closet. That's where I was with Ish and
Asu.
"When Daddy finds out you're being mean to me you're going to be in big trouble! You're going
to be grounded!" Ish said.
I would have killed to get grounded again. But Dad can't ground me. You see, he's dead.