A man tells his wife he wants a divorce to be with his mistress Jane. His wife agrees to the divorce but asks that for the next month he carries her out of their bedroom each morning as he did on their wedding day. Over this time the intimacy between them grows again. On the last day he realizes he does not want a divorce after all. However, when he returns home to tell his wife, he finds that she has died of cancer, which she kept secret so as not to disrupt their son who had exams. She had really wanted to save their marriage in her final days.

1. For the Married, Thinking about
Marriage, and the Divorced

2. When I got home that night as my wife served
dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got
something to tell you. She sat down and ate
quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth.
But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I
want a divorce.
I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be
annoyed by my words, instead she asked me
softly, why?

3. I avoided her question. This
made her angry. She threw
away the chopsticks and
shouted at me, you are not a
man!
That night, we didn't talk to
each other. She was
weeping. I knew she wanted
to find out what had
happened to our marriage.
But I could hardly give her a
satisfactory answer; she had
lost my heart to Jane. I didn't

4. With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a
divorce agreement which stated that
she could own our house, our car, and
30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into
pieces. The woman who had spent ten
years of her life with me had become
a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted
time, resources and energy but I could
not take back what I had said for I
loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried
loudly in front of me, which was what I
had expected to see. To me her cry
was actually a kind of release. The
idea of divorce which had obsessed
me for several weeks seemed to be
firmer and clearer now.

5. The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing
something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to
sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an
eventful day with Jane.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did
not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

6. In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't
want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the
divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle
to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple:
our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to
disrupt him with our broken marriage.

7. This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she
asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on
our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month's
duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door every
morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last
days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

8. I told Jane about my wife's divorce
conditions. . She laughed loudly and
thought it was absurd. No matter what
tricks she applies, she has to face the
divorce, she said scornfully.

9. My wife and I hadn't had any
body contact since my divorce
intention was explicitly
expressed. So when I carried
her out on the first day, we both
appeared clumsy.
Our son clapped behind us, daddy is
holding mommy in his arms. His words
brought me a sense of pain. From the
bedroom to the sitting room, then to
the door, I walked over ten meters with
her in my arms. She closed her eyes
and said softly; don't tell our son about
the divorce. I nodded, feeling
somewhat upset. I put her down
outside
the door. She went to wait for the bus
to work. I drove alone to the office.

10. On the second day, both of
us acted much more easily.
She leaned on my chest. I
could smell the fragrance of
her blouse. I realized that I
hadn't looked at this woman
carefully for a long time. I
realized she was not young
any more. There were fine
wrinkles on her face, her hair
was graying! Our marriage
had taken its toll on her. For
a minute I wondered what I
had done to her.

11. On the fourth day, when I lifted
her up, I felt a sense of intimacy
returning. This was the woman
who had given ten years of her
life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I
realized that our sense of
intimacy was growing again. I
didn't tell Jane about this. It
became easier to carry her as
the month slipped by. Perhaps
the everyday workout made me
stronger.

12. She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried
on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable
one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown
bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin,
that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and
bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out
and touched her head.

13. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to
carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother
out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured
to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly.
I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my
mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking
from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her
hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body
tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day,
when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our
son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't
noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

14. I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without
locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make
me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened
the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want
the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead.
Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head.
Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring
probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives,
not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize
that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am
supposed to hold her until death do us apart.
Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap
and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked
downstairs and drove away.

15. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for
my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I
smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do
us apart.

16. That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile
on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed
- dead.

17. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was
so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would
die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever
negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with
the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving
husband....

18. The small details of your lives are what really matter in a
relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money
in the bank. These create an environment conducive for
happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find
time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for
each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.
If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close
they were to success when they gave up.
A CHRIST-CENTERED MARRIAGE IS A MARRIAGE THAT IS
SURE TO LAST A LIFETIME.

19. So then, they are no longer two but one flesh.
Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.
Matthew 19:6
Written by,
Itoro 'Ausafrik' Okon
PowerPoint by,
James Austin III