1) Romeo and Juliet, who recently married despite their feuding families, visit IKEA to furnish their new home but quickly begin arguing over small details.
2) Their friend Mercutio grows frustrated by their bickering, declaring "A plague o' both your Hemnes!" before storming off in anger.
3) Romeo and Juliet decide to separate, ending their romance as swiftly as it began, leaving Romeo devastated by the collapse of his new marriage.
1) The narrator is a news anchor in Boston who feels distressed while reporting on a major incoming blizzard, as the file footage shows a ragged man curled on a manhole cover seeking warmth.
2) This image triggers memories of the narrator's father, who he had learned years ago is now homeless. Despite his father's previous success as an FBI agent and civil rights lawyer, the narrator has never understood what led to his downfall.
3) Back in the newsroom, none of the narrator's colleagues seem affected by the story of people dying in the cold. But for the narrator, the image of the man in the footage looking like his father stays with him, and he is determined
A Portrait Of The Artist As A Young Simian by Monkey Poet (SAMPLE)Burning Eye
Monkey Poet experiences a strange encounter in a San Francisco bar. He is transported to a magical realm where he meets famous poets like Dylan Thomas and Charles Bukowski. They invite him to a poetry reading. At the reading, Monkey Poet shares a controversial poem about shooting a baby, to silence from the group. The piece is a exploration of war and the evolution of the concept of genocide over history told through poetry and music. It references many genocides and mass killings of the 20th century.
Delilah finds out that her boyfriend Carl cheated on her with their friend Rose. The film flashes back to show Carl getting drunk at a Christmas party and Rose convincing him to go back to her place. Delilah receives a call telling her what happened and is devastated. In the present, Delilah receives an apology letter from Rose but becomes enraged and runs off into the night. The film ends showing a badly injured Rose laying on the ground.
Dolly Sue Dickson is a sim attempting a trailer park challenge. She goes on dates with multiple male sims in the neighborhood, including Mark Mercer and Tram P. Dolly Sue gets pregnant but continues dating. When she catches Tram P cheating, she calls her friend Mark for support. Mark moves in with Dolly Sue and they get engaged, though she hints the baby could be his or Tram P's. Dolly Sue prepares for her first yard sale as her due date approaches.
The chapter provides glimpses into an afternoon party at Daisy's house, with various interactions between the characters. Daisy and Jordan lay on a couch fanning themselves while powdered. Gatsby stands gazing around in awe of Daisy's house. Daisy shows off her daughter to Gatsby. As the heat rises, Daisy wants to leave for town but Tom wants to catch up to Wilson. They drive off, discussing money, marriage and race.
The document provides a summary of the author's travels to Hong Kong over 3 days. Some key details include:
- The author arrived in Hong Kong from Brisbane and comments on the humidity and sensory overload of the city.
- Sites visited on the first day include Kowloon Park and various shopping areas. The author comments on cultural differences like aggressive salespeople.
- On the second day more sites are explored like the Space Museum and large shopping complexes. The author comments on the efficient subway system.
- The third day includes visiting Wong Tai Sin Temple, more shopping, and an experience at the "Wishing Tree" that involved unexpected costs for traditions. Dinner was had at a novelty bathroom-
Juliette is obsessed with her ex-boyfriend Nate and has become a flight attendant for his airline to stay close to him. Though they broke up six months ago, Juliette believes they are meant to be together and has a plan to win him back. She sees herself as the perfect girlfriend and will stop at nothing to get what she wants.
1) The narrator is a news anchor in Boston who feels distressed while reporting on a major incoming blizzard, as the file footage shows a ragged man curled on a manhole cover seeking warmth.
2) This image triggers memories of the narrator's father, who he had learned years ago is now homeless. Despite his father's previous success as an FBI agent and civil rights lawyer, the narrator has never understood what led to his downfall.
3) Back in the newsroom, none of the narrator's colleagues seem affected by the story of people dying in the cold. But for the narrator, the image of the man in the footage looking like his father stays with him, and he is determined
A Portrait Of The Artist As A Young Simian by Monkey Poet (SAMPLE)Burning Eye
Monkey Poet experiences a strange encounter in a San Francisco bar. He is transported to a magical realm where he meets famous poets like Dylan Thomas and Charles Bukowski. They invite him to a poetry reading. At the reading, Monkey Poet shares a controversial poem about shooting a baby, to silence from the group. The piece is a exploration of war and the evolution of the concept of genocide over history told through poetry and music. It references many genocides and mass killings of the 20th century.
Delilah finds out that her boyfriend Carl cheated on her with their friend Rose. The film flashes back to show Carl getting drunk at a Christmas party and Rose convincing him to go back to her place. Delilah receives a call telling her what happened and is devastated. In the present, Delilah receives an apology letter from Rose but becomes enraged and runs off into the night. The film ends showing a badly injured Rose laying on the ground.
Dolly Sue Dickson is a sim attempting a trailer park challenge. She goes on dates with multiple male sims in the neighborhood, including Mark Mercer and Tram P. Dolly Sue gets pregnant but continues dating. When she catches Tram P cheating, she calls her friend Mark for support. Mark moves in with Dolly Sue and they get engaged, though she hints the baby could be his or Tram P's. Dolly Sue prepares for her first yard sale as her due date approaches.
The chapter provides glimpses into an afternoon party at Daisy's house, with various interactions between the characters. Daisy and Jordan lay on a couch fanning themselves while powdered. Gatsby stands gazing around in awe of Daisy's house. Daisy shows off her daughter to Gatsby. As the heat rises, Daisy wants to leave for town but Tom wants to catch up to Wilson. They drive off, discussing money, marriage and race.
The document provides a summary of the author's travels to Hong Kong over 3 days. Some key details include:
- The author arrived in Hong Kong from Brisbane and comments on the humidity and sensory overload of the city.
- Sites visited on the first day include Kowloon Park and various shopping areas. The author comments on cultural differences like aggressive salespeople.
- On the second day more sites are explored like the Space Museum and large shopping complexes. The author comments on the efficient subway system.
- The third day includes visiting Wong Tai Sin Temple, more shopping, and an experience at the "Wishing Tree" that involved unexpected costs for traditions. Dinner was had at a novelty bathroom-
Juliette is obsessed with her ex-boyfriend Nate and has become a flight attendant for his airline to stay close to him. Though they broke up six months ago, Juliette believes they are meant to be together and has a plan to win him back. She sees herself as the perfect girlfriend and will stop at nothing to get what she wants.
The author arrives in the affluent London neighborhood of South Kensington with goals of living a glamorous lifestyle like the elite, but his student housing is dingy. He attends the English National Opera with his cousin's wife and mingles with the cast after. While some activities like this are luxurious, most of his trip is more modest. He tries without success to get into an exclusive nightclub and realizes he cannot fake being part of the social elite.
These monologues provide backstories for three female characters - Colette from France, Kim from Los Angeles, and Duane from a rural area. Colette describes a privileged but troubled childhood, leaving home to pursue acting in Hollywood. Kim discusses an abusive sexual relationship with her brother as a teenager. Duane describes her first sexual experience as a teenager and eventually pursuing art dealing, where she met Colette. At the end, Charlotte hints this is part of a murder mystery play.
Destiny meets Moxie, a low level sports celebrity, while at the Civic Plaza. Moxie offers to give Destiny a glimpse of the Bridgeport club scene, while Drake attends a drink mixology class..
This document provides a summary of the plot of William Shakespeare's play Romeo and Juliet. It describes the feud between the Montague and Capulet families in Verona, Italy. The main characters introduced are Romeo Montague and Juliet Capulet, who fall in love at a Capulet ball despite being from feuding families. They secretly marry with the help of Friar Laurence. However, Romeo is exiled after killing Juliet's cousin Tybalt in a duel, and Juliet is told she must marry Count Paris.
The document proposes ideas for a campaign centered around the nostalgia of the Volkswagen Beetle and how it represents the spirit of social activism from the 1960s and 1970s. It presents three scenarios of people from different generations who use their vintage Beetles to make a positive difference in their communities through volunteering and benefit shows, channeling the sense of adventure and care for others of that era. The ideas are meant to convey the message that "Be the difference" and show how owning a Beetle can inspire people to enact change today through "The Beetle Difference" campaign.
Tom Canty is born into a poor family in London on the same day that Edward Tudor is born to the wealthy royal family. Tom grows up with his only desire being to see a real prince. One day while wandering outside of London, Tom sees Prince Edward and is able to get a good look at him. The prince takes a liking to Tom and invites him into the palace, where the two boys discover they look identical. This chance meeting kicks off a series of events where the boys end up switching places with unexpected consequences.
Underneath the Roses Where I Remembered Everything by Molly RoseBurning Eye
Molly Case's poem "The Park Next to the Hospital" vividly describes memories of childhood and adolescence spent in a local park. It recalls experiences like watching the night sky, drinking and smoking, witnessing fights, and one's first kisses. The poem acts as a meditation on nostalgia and how childhood places remain unchanged over time. The narrator finds comfort in knowing the park will still be there, as they now work at the nearby hospital as a nurse.
An afternoon with "las matronas" is an attempt to register the cultural diversity of Astoria, Queens through the distinct sounds of the neighborhood... A class assignment that I hope you enjoy reading as I enjoyed writing about this amazing feature of the city.
Based on the Shakespearean Play, it talks about a merchant in 16th-century Venice must default on a large loan provided by an abusive Jewish moneylender.
Dorothy lived on a Kansas farm with her Aunt Em and Uncle Henry. When a powerful tornado strikes, it picks up Dorothy's house and transports her to the magical land of Oz. There, the house crashes down and kills the Wicked Witch of the East. The Munchkins who live in Oz thank Dorothy for killing the witch who had enslaved them. Dorothy learns her only way home is by seeking help from the all-powerful Wizard of Oz in the Emerald City.
Noah's father has been arrested for sinking the Coral Queen casino boat after believing its owner, Dusty Muleman, had been illegally dumping sewage from the boat into the ocean. While Noah understands his father's motivations, his mother is angry with his father's actions and wants a divorce. Noah and his sister Abbey discover signs that their father may have been right about the illegal dumping. Noah now wants to prove the Coral Queen has been dumping sewage to exonerate his father.
This document provides a detailed review of a production of the play "Road" by Jim Cartwright, set in 1980s Britain during Margaret Thatcher's government. The play explores the lives of the working class living in poverty and unemployment. Though first performed in 1986, the review notes the play remains relevant today in examining social and economic hardship. The production received praise for its intimate staging and strong performances that transported audiences back to 1980s Britain. While some found the play's structure difficult, most agreed it powerfully conveyed feelings of hopelessness but also humor during difficult times. The review concludes by reflecting on how the play provokes questions about contemporary government and society.
Volpone is a satirical comedy set in Venice that follows the greedy Volpone as he feigns illness in an attempt to get heirs to leave him their wealth. He is aided by his parasite Mosca. They trick several men into thinking they will be named Volpone's heir if they bring him gifts. These men include a lawyer, merchant, and miser. Their deceptions are eventually discovered and Volpone, Mosca, and the tricked men are all punished by the court.
The documents discuss themes of chance, memory, loss, and suffering. One recalls the fleeting nature of chance encounters and experiences. Another describes the trauma of surviving a concentration camp and losing faith. A third reflects on coping with migraines and learning to accept unavoidable pain and hardship.
The document describes a traveler's encounter at the Hotel California. The traveler stops for the night after seeing lights in the distance on a dark highway. At the hotel, there is a sense of uncertainty whether it is heaven or hell. The traveler cannot find a way to leave and is told by the night man that you can check out anytime but can never leave.
The chapter describes the events of Gatsby's final party, after which his career as Trimalchio ends. It then details a lunch at Tom and Daisy's house where Daisy and Gatsby's affection for each other is evident. They all go into town but tensions rise, culminating in a fight where Gatsby declares his love for Daisy in front of Tom. They leave upset and later that day, Daisy accidentally hits and kills Myrtle while driving Gatsby's car.
Don Quixote stayed at home recovering from his adventures, tended to by his niece and housekeeper. One day, there was a commotion as Sancho Panza arrived. The women were unhappy to see him, believing he led Don Quixote astray. Once alone, the men discussed what people said about Don Quixote - that he was mad but courageous. Sancho mentioned a man named Samson Carrasco had taken an interest in their stories.
The document is a chapter from a novel titled "The Butcher Shop" by Neil Austin. It follows Claire, who lives in her car and owns a bar, as she goes shopping at a warehouse store. She catches up with Walt, an employee there who is interested in buying her classic car. Claire loads up on supplies for her bar and invites Walt to help her restock and go swimming later, though she hasn't decided where yet.
This scene reveals important transformations in the characters of Romeo and Juliet. Juliet defies her parents' wishes by refusing to marry Paris. She boldly expresses her love for Romeo to her mother through puns and metaphors. Even facing her powerful father, Juliet refuses to acknowledge the marriage to Paris. Both her father and the Nurse, previously her confidant, turn against Juliet, leaving her isolated and foreshadowing her eventual suicide with Romeo.
The document provides context about Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet and performances at the Globe Theatre in the late 16th/early 17th century. Audiences at the Globe Theatre were mostly illiterate and would throw objects at actors if they didn't understand or enjoy a play. Shakespeare therefore included dramatic words and intriguing characters to keep audiences engaged. The story of Romeo and Juliet involves the star-crossed lovers from feuding families of Montague and Capulet in Verona falling in love despite their families' hatred of each other. The play explores themes of love, hate, fate, loyalty and honesty through the characters' actions and tragic deaths.
The author arrives in the affluent London neighborhood of South Kensington with goals of living a glamorous lifestyle like the elite, but his student housing is dingy. He attends the English National Opera with his cousin's wife and mingles with the cast after. While some activities like this are luxurious, most of his trip is more modest. He tries without success to get into an exclusive nightclub and realizes he cannot fake being part of the social elite.
These monologues provide backstories for three female characters - Colette from France, Kim from Los Angeles, and Duane from a rural area. Colette describes a privileged but troubled childhood, leaving home to pursue acting in Hollywood. Kim discusses an abusive sexual relationship with her brother as a teenager. Duane describes her first sexual experience as a teenager and eventually pursuing art dealing, where she met Colette. At the end, Charlotte hints this is part of a murder mystery play.
Destiny meets Moxie, a low level sports celebrity, while at the Civic Plaza. Moxie offers to give Destiny a glimpse of the Bridgeport club scene, while Drake attends a drink mixology class..
This document provides a summary of the plot of William Shakespeare's play Romeo and Juliet. It describes the feud between the Montague and Capulet families in Verona, Italy. The main characters introduced are Romeo Montague and Juliet Capulet, who fall in love at a Capulet ball despite being from feuding families. They secretly marry with the help of Friar Laurence. However, Romeo is exiled after killing Juliet's cousin Tybalt in a duel, and Juliet is told she must marry Count Paris.
The document proposes ideas for a campaign centered around the nostalgia of the Volkswagen Beetle and how it represents the spirit of social activism from the 1960s and 1970s. It presents three scenarios of people from different generations who use their vintage Beetles to make a positive difference in their communities through volunteering and benefit shows, channeling the sense of adventure and care for others of that era. The ideas are meant to convey the message that "Be the difference" and show how owning a Beetle can inspire people to enact change today through "The Beetle Difference" campaign.
Tom Canty is born into a poor family in London on the same day that Edward Tudor is born to the wealthy royal family. Tom grows up with his only desire being to see a real prince. One day while wandering outside of London, Tom sees Prince Edward and is able to get a good look at him. The prince takes a liking to Tom and invites him into the palace, where the two boys discover they look identical. This chance meeting kicks off a series of events where the boys end up switching places with unexpected consequences.
Underneath the Roses Where I Remembered Everything by Molly RoseBurning Eye
Molly Case's poem "The Park Next to the Hospital" vividly describes memories of childhood and adolescence spent in a local park. It recalls experiences like watching the night sky, drinking and smoking, witnessing fights, and one's first kisses. The poem acts as a meditation on nostalgia and how childhood places remain unchanged over time. The narrator finds comfort in knowing the park will still be there, as they now work at the nearby hospital as a nurse.
An afternoon with "las matronas" is an attempt to register the cultural diversity of Astoria, Queens through the distinct sounds of the neighborhood... A class assignment that I hope you enjoy reading as I enjoyed writing about this amazing feature of the city.
Based on the Shakespearean Play, it talks about a merchant in 16th-century Venice must default on a large loan provided by an abusive Jewish moneylender.
Dorothy lived on a Kansas farm with her Aunt Em and Uncle Henry. When a powerful tornado strikes, it picks up Dorothy's house and transports her to the magical land of Oz. There, the house crashes down and kills the Wicked Witch of the East. The Munchkins who live in Oz thank Dorothy for killing the witch who had enslaved them. Dorothy learns her only way home is by seeking help from the all-powerful Wizard of Oz in the Emerald City.
Noah's father has been arrested for sinking the Coral Queen casino boat after believing its owner, Dusty Muleman, had been illegally dumping sewage from the boat into the ocean. While Noah understands his father's motivations, his mother is angry with his father's actions and wants a divorce. Noah and his sister Abbey discover signs that their father may have been right about the illegal dumping. Noah now wants to prove the Coral Queen has been dumping sewage to exonerate his father.
This document provides a detailed review of a production of the play "Road" by Jim Cartwright, set in 1980s Britain during Margaret Thatcher's government. The play explores the lives of the working class living in poverty and unemployment. Though first performed in 1986, the review notes the play remains relevant today in examining social and economic hardship. The production received praise for its intimate staging and strong performances that transported audiences back to 1980s Britain. While some found the play's structure difficult, most agreed it powerfully conveyed feelings of hopelessness but also humor during difficult times. The review concludes by reflecting on how the play provokes questions about contemporary government and society.
Volpone is a satirical comedy set in Venice that follows the greedy Volpone as he feigns illness in an attempt to get heirs to leave him their wealth. He is aided by his parasite Mosca. They trick several men into thinking they will be named Volpone's heir if they bring him gifts. These men include a lawyer, merchant, and miser. Their deceptions are eventually discovered and Volpone, Mosca, and the tricked men are all punished by the court.
The documents discuss themes of chance, memory, loss, and suffering. One recalls the fleeting nature of chance encounters and experiences. Another describes the trauma of surviving a concentration camp and losing faith. A third reflects on coping with migraines and learning to accept unavoidable pain and hardship.
The document describes a traveler's encounter at the Hotel California. The traveler stops for the night after seeing lights in the distance on a dark highway. At the hotel, there is a sense of uncertainty whether it is heaven or hell. The traveler cannot find a way to leave and is told by the night man that you can check out anytime but can never leave.
The chapter describes the events of Gatsby's final party, after which his career as Trimalchio ends. It then details a lunch at Tom and Daisy's house where Daisy and Gatsby's affection for each other is evident. They all go into town but tensions rise, culminating in a fight where Gatsby declares his love for Daisy in front of Tom. They leave upset and later that day, Daisy accidentally hits and kills Myrtle while driving Gatsby's car.
Don Quixote stayed at home recovering from his adventures, tended to by his niece and housekeeper. One day, there was a commotion as Sancho Panza arrived. The women were unhappy to see him, believing he led Don Quixote astray. Once alone, the men discussed what people said about Don Quixote - that he was mad but courageous. Sancho mentioned a man named Samson Carrasco had taken an interest in their stories.
The document is a chapter from a novel titled "The Butcher Shop" by Neil Austin. It follows Claire, who lives in her car and owns a bar, as she goes shopping at a warehouse store. She catches up with Walt, an employee there who is interested in buying her classic car. Claire loads up on supplies for her bar and invites Walt to help her restock and go swimming later, though she hasn't decided where yet.
This scene reveals important transformations in the characters of Romeo and Juliet. Juliet defies her parents' wishes by refusing to marry Paris. She boldly expresses her love for Romeo to her mother through puns and metaphors. Even facing her powerful father, Juliet refuses to acknowledge the marriage to Paris. Both her father and the Nurse, previously her confidant, turn against Juliet, leaving her isolated and foreshadowing her eventual suicide with Romeo.
The document provides context about Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet and performances at the Globe Theatre in the late 16th/early 17th century. Audiences at the Globe Theatre were mostly illiterate and would throw objects at actors if they didn't understand or enjoy a play. Shakespeare therefore included dramatic words and intriguing characters to keep audiences engaged. The story of Romeo and Juliet involves the star-crossed lovers from feuding families of Montague and Capulet in Verona falling in love despite their families' hatred of each other. The play explores themes of love, hate, fate, loyalty and honesty through the characters' actions and tragic deaths.
The document provides an overview of William Shakespeare's play Romeo and Juliet, describing the famous story of the young lovers from feuding families of Montague and Capulet in Verona, Italy whose love and secret marriage ultimately lead to their tragic deaths which unite their families and end their long-standing feud. Key characters and events are highlighted such as the balcony scene, Romeo being banished after killing Juliet's cousin Tybalt in a duel, and the lovers' suicides after a series of miscommunications lead each to believe the other is dead.
The document summarizes the plot of Shakespeare's play Romeo and Juliet. It describes how the two young lovers, Romeo Montague and Juliet Capulet, fall in love at a party despite their families being sworn enemies. They secretly marry but their marriage is tragically cut short when Romeo is banished after killing Juliet's cousin, and a miscommunication results in both Romeo and Juliet dying by suicide after mistakenly believing the other is dead. Their deaths ultimately bring an end to the long-standing feud between the Montague and Capulet families.
The student gives a summary of Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet in modern teenage slang. She describes the feud between the Montagues and Capulets, how Romeo and Juliet meet and fall in love at a party despite being from feuding families, and the tragic events that lead to their deaths, including Romeo being exiled after killing Juliet's cousin Tybalt, and both Romeo and Juliet committing suicide after a series of mix-ups and miscommunications. The student conveys the plot in a lighthearted, informal way using phrases like "like", "duh", and slang terms to describe the characters and events.
The document provides background on the feud between the Montague and Capulet families in Verona. Romeo, a Montague, attends a Capulet party in disguise where he meets and falls in love with Juliet, a Capulet. They express their love for each other after meeting on the balcony, though they are aware of their families' feud.
2.Shakespeare’s Tragedies in Paintings (2).ppsxguimera
King Lear shouting to the stormy skies by William Dyce,
Ophelia in the “weeping brook” by John Everett Millais’
when William Shakespeare's beautiful tragedies inspire painters …
This document provides 3 stories about characters in a fictional world: Robert Mercator goes on an awkward but enjoyable first date with a woman named Meadow Pederson after being tricked by his siblings into calling a matchmaker; Ysabel Mercator finishes her studies and art degree, then travels to visit her childhood sweetheart Lenard Labouis and his parents at their country manor; The stories are presented as lighthearted tales of romance within this fictional world.
Part One - Romeo & Juliette: Revisited
A Sims 2 based story on the Shakespeare romance of Romeo and Juliette. Entertain what might have happened if Romeo and Juliette had survived ... and see if they were really as meant for one another as everyone always assumed.
1. 1
Flat-pack'd
by Nick Duhigg
Two Hemnes, both alike in quality,
In fair IKEA, where we lay our scene,
From ancient design to new Allen Key,
Where retail blood makes yellow shirts unclean.
It was a glorious day when two lovers, Romeo and his beloved Juliet, found one
another—as glorious as the price tag of a Lack coffee table to a cash-strapped
peasant. Now all the couple lacked was time—time to embrace their love, free
from the tyranny of their oppressive families' ancient feud.
The marriage had been swift, but perfect—the way a Billy bookcase suddenly
catches the eye and entices the viewer with its simple beauty. Yet the lovers had
to move quicker still, to avoid the fallout of their union. They could waste no time
in preparing for their life together, lest everything be lost. Like a Kallax shelving
unit clumsily spilt, any complacency and the romance would surely crumble.
But before they could begin to honour the faithful words they had uttered before
Friar Ingvar, they needed to acquire items to create a home. Their days spent
attending balls and writing poetry had left them desperately short on funds, and
thus the couple chose the Veronian IKEA to undertake the first potential pitfall of
their marriage: interior decorating. Romeo's best friend, Mercutio, accompanied
them on their arduous journey.
2. 2
Fluorescent lights engulfed them as they entered the hallowed halls of the retail
furniture behemoth. Staggering through the maze of products, Romeo routinely
paused to glance upon his bride's beauty as she tested the comfort of a Karlstad
couch, or the storage potential of a Stenstorp kitchen island. He admired how she
looked just as beautiful as the day he met her—yesterday.
Waves of elaborate items enticed their eyes, while announcements about
meatballs and cinnamon buns buzzed around their ears.
"These proclamations of sustenance are most enticing, dear Romeo,"
Mercutio announced.
"I think that's the point, Mercutio," Juliet intervened, before muttering
something further under her breath.
"'Tis no matter. We're here to acquire provisions for your life together, and
we shan't be swayed by cheap distractions. You have my word, oh noble Juliet."
Juliet simply rolled her eyes.
"Although," Romeo intervened, "I hear their hot dogs are the cheapest in all
the land."
"But I'm a vegetarian!" Juliet protested.
"You are? I knew nothing of this." Romeo announced.
"Well, it's not like you took me to dinner before just showing up at my
balcony, now is it?"
An awkward silence fell over the trio, one that remained until they were
approached in the bedrooms department by a greeter adorned in a canary-yellow
garment that burned their retinas.
"Hi, guys! Welcome to IKEA. Is there anything I can help you with?"
3. 3
"Halt!" Mercutio interjected. "Thou must announce his name and intentions
with this dear couple."
The worker retreated anxiously.
"My name's William," he indicated, nervousness painted on his voice. "I'm
simply wondering if I may be of assistance."
"Proceed!" Mercutio decreed, still studying the salesman.
"Sorry about him," Romeo said. "He's Mercutio, my rather protective friend.
I am Romeo, of the Montagues, and this is my new bride Juliet, of the Capulets."
"Actually," Juliet interjected, "you can call me 'Jules'."
Romeo looked at his bride quizzically.
"'Jules'?" he inquired.
"Yes, 'Jules.' It's what I prefer to be called."
"Seems like there's a lot of pertinent information I could have been told
yesterday."
"Well, it's been hard to get a word in—you've done a lot of talking in twenty-
four-hours!"
"Jules it is then," Romeo replied meekly.
William interrupted the scene's escalating air of tension.
"What's our lovely couple looking for today?"
"Well, we have a tenuous amount of time to start our life together," Romeo
said. "You know, feuding families and the like. We've rented a place just outside
Verona and we need to furnish it from top to bottom."
4. 4
Before William had a chance to start his sales pitch, Juliet had intervened with
cries of pleasure.
"O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo?"
"I'm right here." Romeo replied. "Where I've been the whole time."
"Look at this darling bedside table. Isn't it just to die for?"
"Oh, it is!" Romeo replied enthusiastically.
"What's this one called?" Juliet asked of William.
"This is a Hemnes," William replied. "A beautiful piece—also available in
Blood-Red."
"Now that would be something," Romeo indicated.
"Hasn't enough blood been shed from our families, Romeo?"
"Oh, it's just the name," William clarified.
"What do you think, dear Mercutio?" Juliet asked, trying to influence her
preference.
Mercutio, crouching at the Hemnes and caressing its surface, put forward his
opinion: "This drawer handle doth feel like the hilt of a sword—like the one I use
to slay thine enemies of my dearest friend Romeo."
"We're well aware of your devotion, Mercutio—and your disturbing affection
for weaponry—" Romeo said, "but which colour do you prefer? Blood-Red or
Potion-Blue?"
"The colour thou chooseth should reflect the honour of the chooser!"
"Okay, I think Mercutio's opinion is fairly redundant. Well, Jules—if that is
your real name—your Hemnes or my Hemnes?"
"Maybe you could ask Rosaline?" Juliet said, disdain dripping from her lips.
5. 5
"Why bring her into this?" Romeo protested. "She's in my past. I married
you in a day—not her! Might we ask Paris?"
Mercutio, standing with vigour, suddenly silenced the scene. He turned abruptly
to face his friends.
"Why the devil came IKEA between us?" he decreed. "I am hurt!"
Romeo and Juliet, ignoring Mercutio's theatrics, continued to squabble. But like
a crack thrust into a Stave mirror, Mercutio broke the sounds of a couple on the
brink of annihilation—his declaration deafened everyone around him.
"A plague o' both your Hemnes!"
As Mercutio stormed off in a fit of rage, Juliet turned to her once-beloved Romeo.
"I think we should see other people," she denounced. "Don't call me."
Romeo and William stood silently; equally aghast at what had transpired. A love
that had blossomed so beautifully was discarded as flippantly as a one-month-old
Micke desk. William leaned into Romeo and offered comfort:
"Personally, I think you dodged a bullet."
After availing himself of a hot dog, Romeo promptly left IKEA and vowed never to
return.
For never was a story of more woe
Than this visit to IKEA for Juliet and Romeo.