Storyboarded by Jim Mortensen

1. FOP377Sc074_ExtTurnerHouseDayREV.eps
EXT. - TURNER HOUSEHOLD
(SFX: WANDA MAKING ANXIOUS NOISES)

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Wanda is anxiously chewing on a pillow.

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WANDA
This is terrible, Timmy! --

4. -- We’ve gotta ågure out some way to get Poof away from Mrs.
Crocker --

5. -- and bring him back home.

6. TIMMY
Don’t worry, Wanda. --

7. -- I’ve got a plan. --

8. -- We’re gonna get Mrs. Crocker to break Da Rules. --

9. -- And when it comes to breaking rules, --

10. -- I’m an expert!

11. WANDA
Ooh, I love to break rules! --

12. -- Don’t tell anyone --

13. -- but I once parked in a loading zone --

14. -- with nothing to load.

15. TIMMY
Wow. Wanda, that’s not exactly --

16. WANDA
And one time I left a 14 percent tip at a restaurant. --

17. -- And that was right after --

18. -- I snuck my own popcorn into a movie theater.

19. TIMMY
Okay, Wanda, I get it.

20. -- You’re a rebel. --

21. -- You’re a rebel. --

22. -- You’re a rebel. --

23. -- Listen. --

24. -- One of Da Rules is you can’t cheat. --

25. -- Mrs. Crocker plays bingo every day. --

26. -- If we can get her to use magic to win, --

27. -- she’ll lose Poof. --

28. -- Now here’s the plan.

29. (TIMMY WHISPERS)

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31. USEDBGS -> 132-FOP319sc001ExtSchoolWSign-ADJ.eps
EXT. - SCHOOL REPURPOSED AS BINGO HALL.
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32. INT. - SCHOOL CAFETERIA (BINGO HALL)
(POOF BREATHING HEAVILY)

33. MRS. CROCKER
Poof, --

34. 185sc160oldladydog / fop235sc021oldwomanwalker / FOP379sc017_IncOldLadyPose / 209sc104oldladyfairywhelchr
-- it’s great having you at bingo with me. --

35. 185sc160oldladydog / fop235sc021oldwomanwalker / FOP379sc017_IncOldLadyPose / 209sc104oldladyfairywhelchr
-- With you here I can wish for anything I need. --

36. -- Like a yummy liverwurst sandwich.

37. POOF (exhausted)
Poof poof.

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40. A stinky liverwurst sandwich appears!
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42. (SFX: CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP!)

43. (SFX: CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP!)

44. Stinky crumbs fall into Poof.
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45. (POOF GAGS)

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47. MRS. CROCKER
That’s delicious! --

48. -- I’ll just save the rest for later.

49. MRS. CROCKER puts the sandwich in Poof.

52. POOF nearly vomits.

53. MRS. CROCKER (CONT’D)
Now I could use some bunion cream, --

54. -- a donut cushion for my tushy, --

55. -- and one of those fancy electric nose trimmers.

58. MRS. CROCKER’S foot came in.
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60. Bunion cream!
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63. Donut cushion!
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64. Noisehairs!
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65. text

66. (SFX: WEEDWHACKER SOUNDS)

67. (SFX: WEEDWHACKER SOUNDS)

68. MRS. CROCKER (CONT’D)
You’re a life saver!

69. (SFX: WEEDWHACKER SOUNDS)

70. (SFX: WEEDWHACKER SOUNDS)

71. (POOF ANTICS A SNEEZE)

72. (POOF SNEEZES OUT THE SANDWICH & HAIR)

73. (POOF SIGHS AND GROANS)

74. (O.S., SUGG) OLD WOMAN
God bless you.

76. Timmy and Wanda dressed as old women.
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77. Timmy winks.
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78. text

79. MRS. CROCKER (CONT’D)
Hello, ladies.

80. -- I’ve never seen you before. --

81. -- Are you new to bingo?

82. WANDA
Oh I’ve been playing bingo for about --

83. -- åfty thousand --

84. Timmy elbows Wanda.

85. WANDA (CONT’D)
I mean, åfty years. --

86. -- Watch the elbow, Bernice.

87. text

88. TIMMY (normal voice)
So --

89. -- how long does this bingo thing last? --

90. -- I’ve got a soccer game this afternoon --

91. Wanda elbows Timmy.

92. TIMMY (CONT’D) (old lady voice)
Did I say soccer game? --

93. -- I meant --

94. -- hip replacement surgery.

95. MRS. CROCKER
Well you’re here on a good day. --

96. -- First prize is --

97. -- new tennis balls for your walker.
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98. WANDA
If you want to win, --

99. -- you should do what I do. --

100. -- You know, cheat! --

101. -- That’s what I do all the time. --

102. -- I’m a big fat cheater!

103. SECURITY GUARD (O.S.)
You’re not cheating in here, honey.

104. 144 SECURITY GUARD
You’re not cheating in here, honey.

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106. GUARD (SUGG)
Taze ‘er, Dano.
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112. (SFX: JAIL BARS CLINKING DOWN)
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113. TIMMY
Bingo jail. --

114. -- Who knew?

115. OLD LADY (loud)
Gladys dug a tunnel! --

116. -- We’re busting out at midnight!

117. TIMMY
You might want to whisper that.

118. OLD LADY (loud)
I thought I was! --

119. -- I lost my hearing aid in a rumble in the mess hall.

121. JAILER
You two are free to go. --

122. -- You were bailed out by a grilled cheese sandwich.

123. -- You were bailed out by a grilled cheese sandwich.

124. -- You were bailed out by a grilled cheese sandwich.

125. -- You were bailed out by a grilled cheese sandwich.

126. SPARKY (SUGG)
SANDWICH!

130. EXT. - CROCKER’S HOUSE
FOP364sc126_Ext_CrockerHouse_Est.eps

132. TIMMY
Wanda, --

133. -- we need to ånd a new way to get Mrs. Crocker to break Da
Rules. --

134. -- I know! --

135. -- We’ll get her to break the biggest rule ever.

136. WANDA
Get her to leave a 14 percent tip?

137. TIMMY
No... --

138. -- Let’s get her to tell someone she has a fairy. --

139. -- And I know just how to do it.

140. POOF IS MAGICALLY PAINTING TOENAILS.

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142. (SFX: DOORBELL RING)

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144. TIMMY
Hello, --
FOP365sc130_Ext_Neighborhood_Lawn.eps

145. --we are government census takers. --
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146. -- We’re here to ånd out how many men, women and fairies are
living in your house.

147. -- We’re here to ånd out how many men, women and fairies are
living in your house.

148. MRS. CROCKER
One woman and one humped back man --

149. -- and that’s it. --

150. -- Thank you.

151. -- Thank you.

152. -- Thank you.

153. WANDA
Are you sure? --

154. WANDA
Are you sure? --

155. -- It’s okay to tell us any secrets you’re keeping.

156. TIMMY
You can trust us. --

157. -- We’re the government.

158. WANDA
Come on. --

159. -- Everybody has secrets. --

160. -- For example, --

161. -- my husband’s a grilled cheese sandwich.

162. MRS. CROCKER
Please go away. --

163. -- I have a lot of wishing to do. --

164. -- I mean, --

165. -- hip replacement surgery.

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169. TIMMY (sarcastic)
Nice going, Wanda. --

170. -- You were more believable as Bernice.

171. WANDA
You were Bernice!

172. MRS. CROCKER (O.S.)
Wake up, Poof. --

173. -- You have a lot of wishes to grant! --

174. -- You have a lot of wishes to grant! --

175. -- Here’s my new list.

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177. POOF sighs.

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(SFX: “SEXUAL HEALING” PLAYS)

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188. Jorgen’s swim trunks ýoat to the surface.
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189. JORGEN
Seriously, old woman. --
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190. -- I will poof up a restraining order right now!
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193. MRS. CROCKER SIGHS.

194. TIMMY
We need another plan, Wanda. --

196. -- Wanda?

198. (SFX: WANDA GROWLING)

199. TIMMY
(whisper shout) WANDA!

200. WANDA
I’m taking her out, Timmy!

201. TIMMY
I’m not going back to jail with you! --

202. -- Now get out here!

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204. (WANDA MAKES DISAPPOINTED NOISES)

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207. TIMMY (CONT’D)
I’ve been thinking, Wanda. --

208. People get fairy godparents because they’re unhappy. --

209. -- All we have to do is ånd out what’s making Mrs. Crocker sad and
åx it. --

210. -- Then Poof will be free to go.

211. WANDA
That’s a great idea, Timmy, --

212. -- but how are we ever gonna ågure out what makes her unhappy?

213. CROCKER
I’m home, --

214. -- you old bat!

215. MRS. CROCKER
Denzel, are you hungry? --

216. -- I was just about to make --

217. CROCKER
Yourself scarce? --

218. -- The scarcer the better! --

219. -- Now if you need me for anything... --

220. -- DON’T!

221. MRS. CROCKER tears up.
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222. (MRS. CROCKER CRYING)

223. (MRS. CROCKER CRYING)

225. TIMMY
That’s it, Wanda! --

226. -- Mr. Crocker is the source of Mrs. Crocker’s unhappiness. --

227. -- He’s the reason she got a fairy. --

228. -- If we get rid of him, --

229. -- Poof can come home.

230. CROCKER
Timmy Turner?

231. TIMMY
Uh, Mr. Crocker, --

232. -- what brings you here?

233. -- what brings you here?

234. -- what brings you here?

235. CROCKER
It’s my house!

236. TIMMY
Okay, enough small talk. --

237. -- I was thinking if you hate your mother so much, --

238. -- you should just leave home. --

239. -- I took the liberty of packing a bag for you.

240. -- I took the liberty of packing a bag for you.

241. -- I took the liberty of packing a bag for you.

242. CROCKER
That’s mighty thoughtful of you, Turner. --

243. CROCKER
That’s mighty thoughtful of you, Turner. --

244. -- And a little bit creepy. --

246. -- I like it!

250. CROCKER (CONT’D)
By the way, what are you doing in my --

251. CROCKER (CONT’D)
By the way, what are you doing in my --

252. CROCKER (CONT’D)
By the way, what are you doing in my --

253. CROCKER (CONT’D)
By the way, what are you doing in my --

254. WANDA slams the door shut.
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255. CROCKER (O.S.)
I have to go to the bathroom.

256. (SFX: POOF!)

257. CROCKER (O.S.)
Never mind! A toilet just appeared on the lawn.

258. TIMMY
Alright! Mr. Crocker’s gone. --

259. -- Which means Mrs. Crocker is gonna be happy now.

260. MRS. CROCKER
Denzel, --

261. -- did you leave a bear trap in my room again?

262. -- did you leave a bear trap in my room again?

263. -- did you leave a bear trap in my room again?

264. TIMMY
He’s not here, Mrs. Crocker. --

265. -- In fact, --

266. -- I don’t think he’s coming back.

267. -- I don’t think he’s coming back.

268. -- I don’t think he’s coming back.

269. MRS. CROCKER
Timmy Turner?

270. TIMMY
Uh, Mrs. Crocker. --

271. -- What brings you here?

272. MRS. CROCKER
It’s my house!

273. TIMMY
Look, --

274. -- Mr. Crocker asked me to tell you that he’s gone forever. --

275. -- Isn’t that --

276. -- the best news you’ve ever heard?

277. MRS. CROCKER
What?! --

278. -- No! --

279. -- That’s the worst news I’ve ever heard! --

280. -- <SOBS>. --

281. -- <SOBS>. --

282. -- Why?

283. TIMMY
I don’t understand. --

284. -- I thought Mr. Crocker made you miserable.

285. MRS. CROCKER
Miserable? --

286. -- He’s my son and I love him. --

287. -- I’m just sad because he doesn’t love me back.

288. CROCKER
What are you talking about, mother?

289. TIMMY
Mr. Crocker, --

290. -- why’d you come back?

291. CROCKER
I needed to wash my hands. --

292. -- And there’s no lawn sink. --

293. -- Now --

294. -- what’s all this --

295. -- about me not loving you?

296. MRS. CROCKER
Well you don’t! --

297. -- At least you never say you do!

298. (SOBS)

299. -- Of course --

300. -- I love you, --

301. -- you deranged lunatic! --

302. -- You’re my mommy!

303. MRS. CROCKER
Oh Denzel!

304. They hug.
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305. CROCKER
Enough, mother. --

306. -- You’re getting denture cream on my shirt.

307. MRS. CROCKER
You’ve made me the happiest woman on Earth!

308. CROCKER
Come on! I’ll buy you an ice cream. --

309. -- Your treat! --

310. -- And you’re paying for gas!

311. MRS. CROCKER
Oh, Denzel!

313. TIMMY
Uh... what just happened?

314. JORGEN poofs into the hot tub.
JORGEN
I’ll tell you what happened. --

315. -- As creepy and unbelievable as it sounds, --

316. -- she actually wanted to spend time with Mr. Crocker. --

317. -- And now that she’s no longer miserable, --

318. -- she doesn’t need a fairy. --

319. text

320. -- Poof, --

321. -- you can go home.

322. POOF (happy)
Poof poof!

323. WANDA
Ooooooooh, --

324. -- I have my baby back! --

325. -- Let’s go ånd your father so we can go out to dinner and celebrate.

326. SANDWICH poofs in.

327. JORGEN
Ooh, a sandwich!

328. text

329. CHOMP CHOMP!
(SFX: CHOMP CHOMP)

330. WANDA
Jorgen, that was Cosmo!

331. COSMO poofs in.
COSMO
No, Wanda. --

332. -- The sandwich was a decoy. --

333. -- I got tired of people trying to eat me --

334. -- so I cleverly disguised myself as a delicious dog bone.

335. SPARKY
Ooh! --

336. -- Dog bone!

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344. EXT. - TURNER HOUSEHOLD
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345. text

346. TIMMY dribbles POOF.
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347. TIMMY
Poof --

348. -- it’s so good to have you back home!

350. TIMMY SHOOTS...

351. text

352. text

353. text

354. ... he scores!
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355. POOF
Poof poof!

356. JORGEN poofs in.
JORGEN
Poof, --

357. -- here’s your pay --
USEDBGS -> 209-FOP355sc032_Int_TimmysRoom_CornerWindowREV

358. -- for being a fairy godparent.
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359. TIMMY
Wait a minute. --

360. -- You guys get paid for being godparents?

361. WANDA
Of course not, Timmy. --

362. -- Spending time with you is all the pay we need. --

363. -- I assume my money is being directly wired to my offshore
account as usual? --

364. COSMO
Wait --

365. -- a minute. --

366. -- What about my money?

367. WANDA
Actually, --

368. -- we have to pay them --

369. -- for you to be a godparent.

370. text

371. COSMO
And I’m worth every penny of it.

372. WANDA
Let’s celebrate us being back together --

373. -- with a fun night at Bingo!

374. TIMMY
They banned us there. --

375. -- Remember, Wanda? --

376. -- They’ll never let us back in.

377. WANDA
I’ll sneak us in, Timmy. --

378. WANDA
I’ll sneak us in, Timmy. --

379. WANDA
I’ll sneak us in, Timmy. --

380. WANDA poofs up her old woman costume.
WANDA
I’ll sneak us in, Timmy. --

381. -- I’m a rebel, remember?

383. (SFX: JAIL BARS SLAMMING SHUT)

384. TIMMY
You had to park in the loading zone, didn’t you, Bernice?

385. WANDA
You’re Bernice! --

386. -- Don’t worry, guys. --

387. -- Word has it that Gladys is breaking us out tonight. --

388. -- How’s that tunnel coming, --

389. -- Gladys?

390. GLADYS
Pretty good. --

391. -- I just gotta pick up my shovel so I can start digging.

392. GLADYS reaches down...

396. GLADYS’ back breaks.
(SFX: CRACK!)
GLADYS
Oh, my back!

397. GLADYS falls over.
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398. COSMO
I got this.

400. COSMO poofs away the bars.

401. COSMO (CONT'D)
What do you say we blow this taco stand? --

402. -- Ooh, --

403. -- speaking of which, --

404. -- Poof, make me a taco.

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408. SPARKY
Taco!
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409. (SFX: MUNCHING NOISES)
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410. (SFX: MUNCHING NOISES)
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411. (SFX: MUNCHING NOISES)

412. COSMO
Ah! I’m gonna need that piece back!

413. text