Using Timmy's DNA, Crocker pretends to be Timmy from the future. Storyboarded by Jim Mortensen

1. EXT - CROCKER’S HOUSE
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2. INT - CROCKER CAVE
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3. CROCKER POPS OUT OF MACHINE
CROCKER
At --

4. -- last, my DNA replicator is complete! --

5. -- With it, I can turn myself into Timmy Turner --

6. -- and trick his fairies into granting my wishes.

7. -- I call this baby: --

8. -- “The Turner me into Turner!...

9. -- ...ator”.

10. MRS. CROCKER (O.S.)
Denzel! --

11. -- Are you ranting to yourself again?

12. CROCKER
NO MOTHER! --

13. -- I’m ranting to my raven, --

14. -- Dwayne! --

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16. -- He’s my new BFF: --

17. -- Bird Friend Forever!

18. <DWAYNE SQUAWKS>

19. MRS. CROCKER (O.S.)
<SNEEZES> You know I’m allergic to that bird. <SNEEZING FIT>

20. CROCKER
Yes I do! --

21. -- That’s the cherry on top of our friendship sundae!

22. MRS. CROCKER (O.S.)
I really wish you’d make some human friends.

23. CROCKER
And I wish you fell victim --

24. -- to an abrupt meteor shower! --

25. -- A wish that will soon come true once I get Turner’s DNA. --

26. -- And I know the easiest way to get it:

27. FOP372sc042_Int_TimmysRoom_Corner_Bed
CUT to Timmy in his bed, missing a tooth.
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28. CROCKER
...by waiting six months for one of Turner’s teeth to fall out, --

29. -- dressing up --

30. -- like --

31. -- the tooth fairy, --

32. -- and --

33. -- snatching the tooth from under his pillow!

34. A SHADOW APPEARS.

35. (O.S.)
Drop it. --

38. TOOTH FAIRY
-- This tooth ain’t big enough for the two of us.

39. CROCKER
If you want it, --

40. -- you’ll have to pry it out of my dainty gloved hand, --

41. -- toots.

43. Tooth Fairy Cracks her knuckles.
(SFX: CRACK!)

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47. CROCKER (SUGG)
Holy molars.

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63. TOOTH FAIRY (cheery)
Thanks for the teeth! --

65. TOOTH FAIRY dispenses change.
(SFX: CHA-CHING CHA-CHIING!)

67. -- PUNK.

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72. (CROCKER MOANS)

73. CROSS DISSOLVE
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75. WANDA
What are you gonna do with your tooth fairy money, Sport?

76. TIMMY
Well, it’s only a quarter, so I guess I’ll...

77. -- not do anything.

78. COSMO
I found --

79. -- some --

80. -- wisdom teeth on the ýoor --

81. -- but they’re not very smart.

82. -- Watch: --

83. -- Hey tooth, what’s the meaning of life?

85. COSMO (CONT’D)
See? --

86. -- Nothing upstairs.

87. (WANDA SIGHS)

88. (O.S. SFX: LIMPING CAST HITTING GROUND)

89. Crocker limps in.
(SFX: CROCKER MOANING)

90. CROCKER
On to plan B --

91. -- to get Turner’s DNA!

92. CROCKER (SUGG)
Ow, Physical Exertion.

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94. CROCKER
Turner, would you care for some gum?

95. TIMMY
No thanks. --

96. -- I make it a point to not take gum from weirdos.

97. CROCKER
JUST CHEW THE GUM!

98. Timmy chews the gum.
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99. CROCKER
NO CHEWING GUM IN CLASS! --

100. -- Now kindly spit it into this sterile petri dish.

101. TIMMY
What? --

102. -- But you said--

103. CROCKER
JUST SPIT OUT YOUR DNA! --

104. -- I mean, --

105. -- gum!

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108. Timmy spits out gum.

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110. CROCKER LAUGHS CRAZILY

111. WANDA
Is it just me --

112. -- or does it seem like Mr. Crocker is up to something?

113. COSMO
Let’s ask --

114. -- the wisdom tooth. --

116. -- Nope. Nothing. --

117. -- You know, tooth, you can’t get through life on just your looks. --

118. -- Trust me.

119. EXT - CROCKER’S HOUSE
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120. We see a high tech podium.
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121. Crocker puts gum on podium.
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122. Podium drops down.
(SFX: STEAM)

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125. Scanning lasers scan the gum.
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126. CROCKER (SUGG)
Haha! --

127. -- Turner’s slimy, spit-covered gum --

128. -- combined --

129. -- with --

130. -- the Turner-me-into-Turner-ator --

131. -- will let me have --

132. -- the body of a ten year old boy!

133. (DWAYNE SQUAWKS)

134. CROCKER (CONT’D)
Yeah, that came out creepier than I planned. --

135. -- Thank you for your honesty, Dwayne.

136. (MRS. CROCKER OFFSCREEN, SNEEZING)

137. MRS. CROCKER
Denzel, --

138. -- I told you I’m deathly allergic to that bird.

139. CROCKER
And I told you to take a long walk --

140. -- off a short pier! --

141. -- Looks like neither of us are good at taking orders! --

142. -- Anyways, Dwayne, where was I? --

143. -- Ah yes, --

145. -- turning --

146. -- into --

147. -- the --

148. -- ten year old boy --

149. -- of my dreams!

150. DWAYNE SQUAWKS

151. CROCKER (CONT’D)
Right again, Dwayne. --

152. -- I shouldn’t say everything I think out loud. --

153. -- Your honest observations --

154. -- make me a better person.

155. MRS. CROCKER
Well if you need me, I’ll be driving myself to urgent care. --

156. -- I can feel my throat closing up.

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159. MRS. CROCKER
Ahhhhhhhhhhh...

160. -- choo!

161. -- ahh --

162. -- choo --

163. -- ahhh --

164. -- ahhhhhhhhhhhh --

165. -- chooooooooooooooooooo --

166. -- oooooooooooo --

167. -- oooooooooooo --

168. -- oooooooooooo --

169. -- oooooooooooo --

170. -- oooooooooooo --

171. -- oooooooooooo --

172. (SFX: ELECTRIC SHOCKS)

173. (SFX: ELECTRIC SHOCKS)

174. (SFX: ELECTRIC SHOCKS)

175. CROCKER
Oh no! --

176. -- Mother’s booger DNA contaminated Turner’s slimy, spit-covered
gum DNA! --

177. -- Must stop the machine!

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180. (CROCKER PANICS)

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184. Machine Doors close.
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185. (SFX: MACHINE GOING HAYWIRE)

186. (SFX: MACHINE GOING HAYWIRE)

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193. CROCKER (SUGG)
Huh, I don’t feel any different.

194. CROCKER (SUGG)
Looks like I got off scott free!

195. Dwayne raises a mirror.

196. CROCKER (CONT’D)
GAH! --

197. -- I’m a monster with a pink hat! --

198. -- Huh, guess the pink hat is genetic. --

200. -- Curse Mother and her old lady DNA! --

201. -- Now I look nothing like Turner. --

202. -- But not to worry. --

203. -- I have a better plan...

204. EXT. - TURNER HOUSEHOLD
(SFX: VIDEO GAME NOSIES)

205. (SFX: TIMMY PLAYING VIDEO GAMES)

206. (SFX: OS DOORBELL)

207. USEDBGs -> 032.eps
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209. (DOOR SLAMS OPEN)
CROCKER
Hello, I’m--

210. COSMO
<GASP> Timmy from the future!

211. CROCKER
Well, I was gonna say your slightly effeminate Uncle Marv, --

212. -- but let’s go with what the talking åshbowl suggested. --

213. -- I’m you! --

214. -- from... uhhhh... --

215. -- a week from now!

216. TIMMY (SUGG)
You’re me?! --

217. -- Doi! --

218. -- Doi! --

219. -- Doi! --

220. -- What the heck happens to me in the next week?

221. CROCKER
I’ll tell you --

222. -- right after I use the can! --

223. -- I have the bladder of an eighty year old woman! --

224. -- Where’s your rest room? --

225. -- I mean, --

226. -- I --

227. -- know --

228. -- where it is. --

229. -- I’m you!

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233. -- That was the closet. --

234. -- I mean, --

235. -- it was so good to see the closet of my boyhood! --

236. -- On to the can... --

237. (SFX: GURGLEGURGLE)

238. -- I hope.

241. TIMMY
I can’t believe I turn into whatever that is in a week!

242. COSMO
It’s not that bad, Timmy. --

243. -- Sure you’re old and ugly and you have a hump but... --

245. -- I started this sentence without thinking it through.

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247. SPARKY
I bet --

248. -- you got that hump from being hunched over playing video games. --

249. --Ooh, I know! --

250. -- I’ll help you --

251. -- by playing your video games for you. --

252. -- That’ll take care of your hump --

253. -- but you’re on your own --

254. -- with the old lady bladder.

255. COSMO
I wonder how ugly I get in the future. --

256. -- <GASP> I know! --

257. -- I’ll poof in my future self!

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260. COSMO
Who is this handsome scoundrel?

261. FUTURE COSMO
I’m you from the future. --

262. FUTURE COSMO
-- See? --

263. -- Here’s our driver’s license.

265. COSMO
Oh no! This is terrible!

266. WANDA
You bet it is! --

267. -- Some lunatic let you have a driver’s license in the future.

268. COSMO
No! This picture’s awful. --

269. -- This gorgeous stud blinked!

270. FAIRYLAND
COSMO FAIRYBOTTOM
Height: 3’6”
Weight: None
Organ Donor:
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272. COSMO (CONT’D)
Come on, --

273. COSMO (CONT’D)
-- future me, --

274. -- we’ve gotta retake this photo!

275. POOF!

276. (PAN OVER TO WANDA)

277. WANDA
I can’t believe Cosmo gets a driver’s license in the future. --

278. -- He can’t drive. --

279. -- He can barely remember to open his eyes after he blinks. --

280. WANDA
-- I gotta see how this happens.

281. PANIC!

282. TIMMY
Does anyone care --

283. -- that I turn into a monster in a week?!

284. (SFX: OFFSCREEN TOILET FLUSH)

285. CROCKER
Sorry --

286. -- that took so long. --

287. CROCKER
Between having an eighty year old memory --

288. -- and not being in my own home, --

289. -- I completely forgot where I was. --

290. -- I mean, --

291. CROCKER
-- I’m you!

292. TIMMY
Oh no! In the future, I’m ugly --

293. -- and crazy. --

294. -- Future me, --

295. -- we have to stop me from becoming you! --

296. -- No offense.

297. CROCKER
None taken! --

298. -- That’s why I’m here. --

299. -- (Giggles to himself) --

300. CROCKER
-- This continues to be so much better than my Uncle Marv story.

301. TIMMY
Just tell me what to do! --

302. -- I’ll do anything!

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304. CROCKER
Give me your FAIRIES and --

305. -- wait. --

306. -- Did you say, --

307. -- anything? --

308. -- Well this could be fun.

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311. (SFX: OS, Throat clearing, calling attention)

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314. TIMMY
So how does feeding you wafýes in a chicken costume prevent me
from turning into you?

315. TIMMY
So how does feeding you wafýes in a chicken costume prevent me
from turning into you?

316. TIMMY
So how does feeding you wafýes in a chicken costume prevent me
from turning into you?

317. TIMMY
So how does feeding you wafýes in a chicken costume prevent me
from turning into you?

318. TIMMY
So how does feeding you wafýes in a chicken costume prevent me
from turning into you?

319. TIMMY
So how does feeding you wafýes in a chicken costume prevent me
from turning into you?

320. CROCKER
Well do you feel humiliated?

321. TIMMY
Unbelievably.

322. CROCKER
Then it’s working. --

323. -- I mean, --

324. -- the future is complicated! --

325. -- Now cluck your way down to the kitchen and get me more syrup!

326. (TIMMY SIGHS)

327. Timmy exits, <CLUCKING>.

328. Timmy exits, <CLUCKING>.

329. Timmy exits, <CLUCKING>.

330. Timmy exits, <CLUCKING>.

331. Timmy exits, <CLUCKING>.

332. Timmy exits, <CLUCKING>.

333. Timmy exits, <CLUCKING>.

334. Timmy exits, <CLUCKING>.

335. Timmy exits, <CLUCKING>.

336. Timmy exits, <CLUCKING>.

337. CROCKER (CONT’D)
This is perfect! --

338. -- Eventually I’ll get Turner’s --

339. -- FAIRIES --

340. -- but in the meantime, --

341. -- I’m having a blast --

342. -- torturing him in outlandish and embarrassing ways!

343. (SFX: O.S. TIMMY CLUCKING)

344. (TIMMY CLUCKING)

345. TIMMY
So, have I saved my future?

346. TIMMY
So, have I saved my future?

347. TIMMY
So, have I saved my future?

348. TIMMY
So, have I saved my future?

349. TIMMY
So, have I saved my future?

350. CROCKER
Not even close! --

351. -- Next you’ll need to get me some prune juice.

352. TIMMY
EW! --

353. -- When did I start liking prune juice?

354. CROCKER
Euuuuugh. --

355. -- When you realized your eighty year old digestive system can’t
handle wafýes! --

356. -- I mean, --

357. -- next Wednesday! --

358. -- Now hop to it!

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360. (TIMMY STARTS WALKING OFF)
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361. CROCKER (CONT’D)
No! I literally mean hop! --

362. -- And throw in some clucks!

365. (TIMMY CLUCKING)

366. (TIMMY CLUCKING)

367. (TIMMY CLUCKING)

368. (TIMMY CLUCKING)

369. (TIMMY CLUCKING)

370. (TIMMY CLUCKING)

371. (TIMMY CLUCKING)

372. (CROCKER LAUGHS)

373. EXT. - FAIRYLAND DMV
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374. INT. - FAIRYLAND DMV
TEST ADMINISTRATOR
If you want a new driver’s license photo, --
(car should look like a PT Cruiser to set up later joke)

375. -- you handsome studs --

376. -- will have to take the test again.

377. COSMOS
No problem! --

378. -- But should we wait until daytime?

379. WANDA
It is daytime! --

380. -- Un-blink!

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387. CAR rocking and shaking.
(WANDA YELLING IN TERROR)

388. WANDA
Watch out for the tree!

390. CUT TO a giant tree.
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396. WANDA (CONT’D)
And the street parade!

398. CUT TO a marching band crossing the street.
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404. WANDA (CONT’D)
And the giant skyscraper! --

405. -- How are you not seeing this?!

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416. (SFX SCREECHING BRAKE SOUNDS)

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419. TEST ADMINISTRATOR
Well, this is terrible... --

420. -- ...my pen ran out of ink --

421. -- and I wanted to write --

422. -- congratulations! --

423. -- You boys passed!

424. WANDA
WHAT?! --

425. -- They nearly hit everything on the road!

426. TEST ADMINISTRATOR
But they didn’t and that’s what matters! --

427. -- That and getting a new pen.

428. WANDA
But that means... --

429. -- I’m the reason Cosmo got a license! --

430. WHIP PAN out.
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431. -- Noooo!

432. TEST ADMINISTRATOR
Alright boys, head inside to take your picture.

433. COSMO
Quick, future me, let’s practice not blinking.

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441. COSMOS
This is hard!

442. EXT - TURNER HOUSEHOLD
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443. (TIMMY GRUNTING)

444. (SFX: TWINKLE TWINKLE TWINKLE!)

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449. TIMMY
OK, future me, --

450. -- have I done enough weird, humiliating stuff to change my future?

451. CROCKER
Ha! Of course not! --

452. -- Now go ånd some peanut butter and smear it all over the ýoor of
Mr. Crocker’s Crocker Cave.

453. TIMMY
Why?

454. CROCKER
Because Mother’s allergic to nuts and I want to keep her out! --

455. -- I mean, --

456. -- complicated future reasons!

458. (TIMMY GRUNTS)

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462. (CROCKER LAUGHS)

463. SPARKY
Good news, Timmy! --

464. -- I ånished your video game! --

465. -- You should be back to normal! --

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470. SPARKY (CONT'D)
Nope, --

471. -- if anything you’re more hideous than I remember.

472. CROCKER
Wait a minute....

475. -- A high score on Angry Nerds?! --

476. -- No mere mortal can achieve that! --

477. -- You must be a FAIRY DOG!

479. CROCKER (CONT’D)
New plan!

480. -- Who needs fairies when I could take the DNA from that magical
dog, --

481. -- combine it with my own, --

482. -- and turn myself into a FAIRY?!

483. SPARKY
Are you talking to yourself, future Timmy?

484. CROCKER
What? No! --

485. -- I’ve got my raven on the line.

486. (SFX: RAVEN SQUAWKS LOUDLY)

487. CROCKER (CONT’D)
You there, Timmy’s dog. --

488. -- I mean, --

489. -- dog of my boyhood. --

490. -- I command you to poof up Crocker’s DNA replicator.

491. SPARKY
You got it.

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494. CROCKER
That’s an incubator.

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498. CROCKER (CONT’D)
That’s an elevator.

500. (SFX: ELEVATOR DOOR DING!)

502. CROCKER (CONT’D)
An alligator?! ---

503. -- Come on! That’s not even close!

505. (CROCKER SCREAMING)

508. SPARKY
Sorry, man. --

509. -- On the plus side, --

510. -- now I can see less of you.

511. EXT. - CROCKER HOUSE
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518. TIMMY
There. Maybe I’ve ånally done enough weird stuff to stop me from
becoming totally gross.

519. TIMMY
There. Maybe I’ve ånally done enough weird stuff to stop me from
becoming totally gross.

520. TIMMY
There. Maybe I’ve ånally done enough weird stuff to stop me from
becoming totally gross.

523. TIMMY (SUGG)
What the?

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526. TIMMY (CONT’D)
Oh my gosh! What’s my gum doing on a DNA replicator?

528. TIMMY (SUGG)
The Turner-Me-Into-Turnerator?

530. TIMMY (SUGG)
“To Do: --

531. TIMMY (SUGG)
-- Impersonate Turner. Get his fairies. Smear ýoor with peanut
butter.”

532. TIMMY (CONT’D)
AAH! That wasn’t future me!

533. -- That was a weirdly mutated Mr. Crocker!

535. TIMMY (CONT’D)
Oh no! --

536. -- I left him alone with Sparky! --

537. -- I gotta get home and fast! --

538. -- But how?

539. (SFX: OFFSCREEN SQUAWK)

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546. EXT. - TURNER HOUSEHOLD
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547. (SFX: FLUSHING TOILET)

548. CROCKER
Curse this bladder! --

549. -- With all the trips to the bathroom, --

550. -- I don’t know how Mother had time to ruin my life! --

551. -- Anyway, where was I? --

552. -- Oh yes, --

553. -- shoving this fairy dog into the replicator.

556. SPARKY
Ow. --

557. -- You know, I’d åt a lot easier into the elevator.

558. (SFX: RAVEN SQUAWK)

559. (SFX: RAVEN SQUAWK)

560. (SFX: RAVEN SQUAWK)

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562. TIMMY
Hold it right there, future me! Or should I say, Mr. Crocker.

563. TIMMY
Hold it right there, future me! Or should I say, Mr. Crocker.

564. TIMMY
Hold it right there, future me! Or should I say, Mr. Crocker.

565. TIMMY
Hold it right there, future me! Or should I say, Mr. Crocker.

566. TIMMY
Hold it right there, future me! Or should I say, Mr. Crocker.

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570. CROCKER
Dwayne, you turncoat! --

571. -- I’m gonna turn you into a coat! --

572. -- Anyway, --

574. -- you’re --

575. -- too late, --

576. -- Turner. --

577. -- And since Mother’s not here to sneeze on anything, --

578. -- nothing can go wrong! --

579. -- I’m about to become half human, --

580. -- half fairy!

581. (SFX: LA CUCAROCHA HORN PLAYS)

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586. Fairies poof out of the car.
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590. (CROCKER PANICKING!)

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596. CROCKER (CONT’D)
GAH! --

597. -- I’m a PT Crocker!

598. WANDA
When did Mr. Crocker get here?

599. TIMMY
He was here the whole time --

600. -- pretending to be future me.

601. COSMO
Whew, what a relief!

602. TIMMY
Yeah! I don’t turn into a repulsive monster next week. --

603. -- Woo --

604. -- hoo!

605. COSMO
No, I mean I got my driver’s license --

606. -- and I didn’t blink!

607. FUTURE COSMO
Yeah, --

608. -- but I did. --

609. FAIRYLAND
COSMO FAIRYBOTTOM
Height: 3’6”
Weight: None
Organ Donor:

610. FAIRYLAND
COSMO FAIRYBOTTOM
Height: 3’6”
Weight: None
Organ Donor:
-- We gotta go back!

611. COSMO
But we crashed our car.

612. TIMMY
I’ve got a car you can use!

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620. (CROCKER SCREAMING)

621. (CROCKER SCREAMING)

622. CROCKER SCREAMING

623. CROCKER
GAH! Watch the road!

624. FUTURE COSMO
Where we’re going we don’t need roads!

625. COSMO
Then again, our eyes are shut --

626. -- so I don’t know what we’ll be driving on.

627. <DWAYNE SQUAWKS>

628. CROCKER
I’m coming for you, Dwayne! --

629. -- Right after I see a doctor. --

630. -- I’m leaking fuel. --
FOP360sc168_Ext_NeighborhoodCyclePan

631. -- GAH! --
FOP360sc168_Ext_NeighborhoodCyclePan

632. -- I have the gas tank of an 80 year old woman.
FOP360sc168_Ext_NeighborhoodCyclePan

633. FOP360sc168_Ext_NeighborhoodCyclePan

634. FOP360sc168_Ext_NeighborhoodCyclePan

635. FOP360sc168_Ext_NeighborhoodCyclePan

636. DMV CLERK
I found a new pen!

637. DMV CLERK
Best day ever.

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