My Presentation from the August Meetup of Columbus Tech EI

1. E V E RY T H I N G Y O U E V E R WA N T E D
T O K N O W A B O U T M E N T O R S H I P

2. B R A D L E Y
T E M P L E
W H O A M I ?

5. W H AT A R E W E G O I N G T O C O V E R ?

6. W H AT A R E W E G O I N G T O C O V E R ?
• Why would I need a mentor?

7. W H AT A R E W E G O I N G T O C O V E R ?
• Why would I need a mentor?
• How do I find a mentor?

8. W H AT A R E W E G O I N G T O C O V E R ?
• Why would I need a mentor?
• How do I find a mentor?
• What kinds of mentorship are there?

9. W H AT A R E W E G O I N G T O C O V E R ?
• Why would I need a mentor?
• How do I find a mentor?
• What kinds of mentorship are there?
• How do I get to know my mentor?

10. W H AT A R E W E G O I N G T O C O V E R ?
• Why would I need a mentor?
• How do I find a mentor?
• What kinds of mentorship are there?
• How do I get to know my mentor?
• How do I set goals with my mentor?

11. W H AT A R E W E G O I N G T O C O V E R ?
• Why would I need a mentor?
• How do I find a mentor?
• What kinds of mentorship are there?
• How do I get to know my mentor?
• How do I set goals with my mentor?
• Tips and Tricks

12. W H AT A R E W E G O I N G T O C O V E R ?
• Why would I need a mentor?
• How do I find a mentor?
• What kinds of mentorship are there?
• How do I get to know my mentor?
• How do I set goals with my mentor?
• Tips and Tricks
• Parting thoughts

13. “Why would I need a mentor?”

14. W H Y W O U L D I N E E D A M E N T O R ?
— McCarthy Mentoring

15. W H Y W O U L D I N E E D A M E N T O R ?
• 25% of mentees enrolled in a mentorship program had
a salary grade change, versus 5% who did not have a
mentor
— McCarthy Mentoring

16. W H Y W O U L D I N E E D A M E N T O R ?
• 25% of mentees enrolled in a mentorship program had
a salary grade change, versus 5% who did not have a
mentor
• Mentees are promoted 5 times as often
— McCarthy Mentoring

17. W H Y W O U L D I N E E D A M E N T O R ?
• 25% of mentees enrolled in a mentorship program had
a salary grade change, versus 5% who did not have a
mentor
• Mentees are promoted 5 times as often
• Mentees stick around companies longer
— McCarthy Mentoring

18. W H Y W O U L D I N E E D A M E N T O R ?
• 25% of mentees enrolled in a mentorship program had
a salary grade change, versus 5% who did not have a
mentor
• Mentees are promoted 5 times as often
• Mentees stick around companies longer
• Mentees are 70% more likely to achieve goals with a
mentor holding them accountable
— McCarthy Mentoring

19. “How Do I Find a Mentor?”

20. H O W D O I F I N D A M E N T O R ?

21. H O W D O I F I N D A M E N T O R ?
• Attend a Mentorship Mixer 😏

22. H O W D O I F I N D A M E N T O R ?
• Attend a Mentorship Mixer 😏
• Start a slack channel or club at your company.

23. H O W D O I F I N D A M E N T O R ?
• Attend a Mentorship Mixer 😏
• Start a slack channel or club at your company.
• Make a Direct or Indirect Ask

24. H O W D O I F I N D A M E N T O R ?

25. H O W D O I F I N D A M E N T O R ?

26. “I’ve noticed someone I’d like to
mentor me, how do I ask?”

27. D I R E C T A S K S
“Can I sit with you and watch
you write specs so I can get
better at testing?”

28. D I R E C T A S K S
“Can you help me practice
giving feedback?”

29. D I R E C T A S K S
“Can you listen to my
presentation and let me know
where I’m stumbling?”

30. D I R E C T A S K S
“Can you come to my meeting
at help me see where I can
improve?”

31. B E N E F I T S O F T H E D I R E C T A S K

32. B E N E F I T S O F T H E D I R E C T A S K
• Puts the cards on the table, leaving no one wondering
what the end goal is.

33. B E N E F I T S O F T H E D I R E C T A S K
• Puts the cards on the table, leaving no one wondering
what the end goal is.
• Practices boldness, which is a good skill to have. The
answer won’t always be yes, but the odds are much
better than not asking

34. R I S K S O F T H E D I R E C T A S K

35. R I S K S O F T H E D I R E C T A S K
• You are asking someone to make an investment in you.
Make sure the thing you are asking for help with really
matters to you.

36. R I S K S O F T H E D I R E C T A S K
• You are asking someone to make an investment in you.
Make sure the thing you are asking for help with really
matters to you.
• Make sure you aren’t making a vague ask. The more
specific thing you are asking for, the better

37. T H E I N D I R E C T A S K
“You are really good at giving
feedback, how do you do
that?”

38. T H E I N D I R E C T A S K
“Your Sprint Planning
Meetings Run So Well, How
did you get there?”

39. T H E I N D I R E C T A S K
“I wish I could write tests as
well as you. How did you
learn?”

40. A D VA N TA G E S O F T H E I N D I R E C T A S K

41. A D VA N TA G E S O F T H E I N D I R E C T A S K
• Combines appreciation and curiosity

42. A D VA N TA G E S O F T H E I N D I R E C T A S K
• Combines appreciation and curiosity
• Invites the mentor to help you without feeling like they
are making a big commitment

43. A D VA N TA G E S O F T H E I N D I R E C T A S K
• Combines appreciation and curiosity
• Invites the mentor to help you without feeling like they
are making a big commitment
• Helps them feel like they can actually help you

44. F R O M T H E M E N T O R S I D E

45. F R O M T H E M E N T O R S I D E
• If you see someone with potential, just make an offer,
accept rejection and leave the door open.

46. “What kinds of mentorship are
there?”

47. “The Professor”

48. “The Advisor”

49. “The Friend”

50. “The Mastermind Group”

51. “How do I get to know my
mentor?”

52. H O W D O I G E T T O K N O W M Y M E N T O R ?
“The Experimental Generation
of Interpersonal Closeness”

53. H O W D O I G E T T O K N O W M Y M E N T O R ?
“The Fast Friends Protocol”

54. H O W D O I G E T T O K N O W M Y M E N T O R ?
• 36 questions designed to create a loop of vulnerability
leaving the participants understanding one another
better with a greater bond of trust.

55. “Would you like to be famous?
In what way?”
H O W D O I G E T T O K N O W M Y M E N T O R ?

56. “When did you last cry in front
of another person? By
yourself?”
H O W D O I G E T T O K N O W M Y M E N T O R ?

57. H O W D O I G E T T O K N O W M Y M E N T O R ?
Generally we saw a 20-30%
increase in self-reported
closeness and a 10% increase in
self-reported trust

58. Invite your mentor into your life
enough to help

59. H O W D O I G E T T O K N O W M Y M E N T O R
Let’s talk about feedback

60. F E E D B A C K

61. F E E D B A C K
• Appreciation

62. F E E D B A C K
• Appreciation
• Coaching

63. F E E D B A C K - A P P R E C I AT I O N

64. • Appreciation needs to be specific. Saying a vague
“Good job” or “Thanks for all you do” isn’t that
effective because it isn’t authentic. It’s phoned in and
everyone can tell.
F E E D B A C K - A P P R E C I AT I O N

65. • Appreciation needs to be specific. Saying a vague
“Good job” or “Thanks for all you do” isn’t that
effective because it isn’t authentic. It’s phoned in and
everyone can tell.
• Painting a picture for how the mentees work is setting
them up for success or how you see their potential
coming to fruition is much more motivating.
F E E D B A C K - A P P R E C I AT I O N

66. F E E D B A C K - C O A C H I N G

67. • Say less, ask more. The mentee will learn a great deal
more when you spend time exploring their thoughts
with them.
F E E D B A C K - C O A C H I N G

68. • Say less, ask more. The mentee will learn a great deal
more when you spend time exploring their thoughts
with them.
• You can give advice sometimes, but it’s almost always
better to think with them than tell them.
F E E D B A C K - C O A C H I N G

69. M I R R O R S

70. M I R R O R S
•Supportive Mirror

71. M I R R O R S
•Supportive Mirror
•Honest Mirror

72. Difficult Conversations

75. Avoid wrongspotting

76. Are you really open to
feedback?

77. Are you really open to
feedback?

78. F E E D B A C K
• In the absence of anything else, stop to consider
“What would my reaction to this feedback be if my
best friend, my spouse, or someone I really admire
gave it?”

79. • A couple of books to go deep on feedback, coaching
and conversations
• The Coaching Habit
• Difficult Conversations
• Thanks for the Feedback
F E E D B A C K

80. “How do I set goals with my
mentor?”

81. T H E C R E AT I V E T E N S I O N M O D E L
• Spend some time talking about your ideal state.
• Spend some time unpacking the current reality

83. I D E A L S TAT E

84. I D E A L S TAT EC U R R E N T R E A L I T Y

85. I D E A L S TAT EC U R R E N T R E A L I T Y

86. I D E A L S TAT EC U R R E N T R E A L I T Y

87. I D E A L S TAT EC U R R E N T R E A L I T Y

88. I D E A L S TAT EC U R R E N T R E A L I T Y

89. I D E A L S TAC U R R E N T R E A L I T Y

90. A S A N E X A M P L E

91. A S A N E X A M P L E

92. A S A N E X A M P L E

93. A S A N E X A M P L E

94. A S A N E X A M P L E

95. A S A N E X A M P L E

96. “I want to be a manager, but I’m scared of having
feedback conversations with people, I think they
will end up hating me. I want to learn to give good
constructive feedback in a way that’s useful and
doesn’t put me at odds with my direct reports”
T H E C R E AT I V E T E N S I O N M O D E L

97. T H E C R E AT I V E T E N S I O N M O D E L

98. • I will study a few models on giving feedback
T H E C R E AT I V E T E N S I O N M O D E L

99. • I will study a few models on giving feedback
• I will make a list of feedback that really worked well for
me, and highlight the parts that made it really effective
T H E C R E AT I V E T E N S I O N M O D E L

100. • I will study a few models on giving feedback
• I will make a list of feedback that really worked well for
me, and highlight the parts that made it really effective
• I will make a lit of feedback that didn’t work and think
about what was wrong with it
T H E C R E AT I V E T E N S I O N M O D E L

101. • I will study a few models on giving feedback
• I will make a list of feedback that really worked well for
me, and highlight the parts that made it really effective
• I will make a lit of feedback that didn’t work and think
about what was wrong with it
• I will do a mock feedback session with my mentor
T H E C R E AT I V E T E N S I O N M O D E L

102. • I will study a few models on giving feedback
• I will make a list of feedback that really worked well for
me, and highlight the parts that made it really effective
• I will make a lit of feedback that didn’t work and think
about what was wrong with it
• I will do a mock feedback session with my mentor
• I will give direct feedback to at least 3 peers a month
T H E C R E AT I V E T E N S I O N M O D E L

103. “I want to be a really effective developer, but right
now my tests are really flaky and I certainly am lost
on the whole TDD thing. In my ideal state I’d be
someone who you could count on for anything but
my tests are holding me back. I want to learn how
to think about tests first but it seems impossible.”
T H E C R E AT I V E T E N S I O N M O D E L

104. T H E C R E AT I V E T E N S I O N M O D E L

105. • I will identify a few TDD enthusiasts at my company
and ask to shadow them
T H E C R E AT I V E T E N S I O N M O D E L

106. • I will identify a few TDD enthusiasts at my company
and ask to shadow them
• I will look at some of our better test suites and make
notes on what makes the effective
T H E C R E AT I V E T E N S I O N M O D E L

107. • I will identify a few TDD enthusiasts at my company
and ask to shadow them
• I will look at some of our better test suites and make
notes on what makes the effective
• I will read that book on testing i’ve been meaning to
get around to
T H E C R E AT I V E T E N S I O N M O D E L

108. • I will identify a few TDD enthusiasts at my company
and ask to shadow them
• I will look at some of our better test suites and make
notes on what makes the effective
• I will read that book on testing i’ve been meaning to
get around to
• I will do at least one code kata a week following a TDD
methodology
T H E C R E AT I V E T E N S I O N M O D E L

109. “I want to be a household developer name like
tender love or dhh. But I’m scared to put my code
out there on github, I’m worried that it won’t be
good enough to get accepted into rails.”
T H E C R E AT I V E T E N S I O N M O D E L

110. T H E C R E AT I V E T E N S I O N M O D E L

111. • I will look at rails issue log and find one beginner-level
issue to try at this month
T H E C R E AT I V E T E N S I O N M O D E L

112. • I will look at rails issue log and find one beginner-level
issue to try at this month
• I will get feedback from my mentor on it prior to
opening my PR, to help prepare myself for the code
review
T H E C R E AT I V E T E N S I O N M O D E L

113. • I will look at rails issue log and find one beginner-level
issue to try at this month
• I will get feedback from my mentor on it prior to
opening my PR, to help prepare myself for the code
review
• I will develop and give a talk at a few local meetups as
well as submit the refined talk to railsconf.
T H E C R E AT I V E T E N S I O N M O D E L

114. T H E G R O W M O D E L
• Goal - The desirable endpoint
• Reality - Where you are now
• Obstacles/Options - What’s getting in your way, what
can you do to get around them?
• Way Forward - Think up some actions to take

115. Tips and Tricks

116. “What if this mentorship is just
not working?”

117. “What do we do when the goal is
met?”

118. “I don’t think I can be a mentor.
I’m not experienced enough.”

119. C L O S I N G T H O U G H T S .
S O M E R E A L TA L K .

120. I WA N T Y O U R F E E D B A C K !
B I T. LY / M E N T O R S H I P _ F E E D B A C K