Parenting skills, helping children and adolescent coping with a disaster o traumatic event - A Practical Guide for Parents, Teachers and Caregivers

1. Helping Children and Adolescent Coping with
a Disaster or Traumatic Event
A Guide for Parents, Teachers and Caregivers
Ko Teik Yen MBA, B.Sc (Hons), PCDHyp, MBSC,
​Principal of Academy of Asian Parenting & Hypnotherapy
​Founder of Asian Hypnotherapy Centre for Smoking Cessation & Trauma Healing
​Web page: www.asianparentingacademy.com; www.asianhypnotherapycentre.com
​Email : tyko@asianparentingacademy.com

2. Possible Reactions to a
Disaster or Traumatic Event01
table of contents
8 tips that parents, teachers
and caregivers can provide to
support their children in the
recovery process
02
When More Help is Needed & A
Note of Caution!
03
Who Are We?
References and Online
Resources
04

3. 3
Scope of Discussion
​1. The psychological impact of intense
coverage of disasters/incidents such as
MH370 on children and adolescent.
​2. What can parents, teachers &
caregivers do to restore a sense of safety
and security in this situation of
uncertainties and anxiety?
​3. Tips to help children and teenager
coping with the psychological impact in
the aftermath of a traumatic event.
introduction
​“Adult support and reassurance is the
key to helping children through a
traumatic time”

4. ​POSSIBLE REACTIONS
TO A DISASTER OR
TRAUMATIC EVENT
section 01

5. 5
POSSIBLE REACTIONS TO A DISASTER OR
TRAUMATIC EVENT
​The devastating effects of disasters can have tremendous
psychological impacts on those directly and indirectly
involved, even for those who learn about the event through
television broadcast, social media, or newspaper
coverage.
​Affected individuals may have various stress reactions that
present psychological, as well as physical symptoms.
Section 01

6. 6
POSSIBLE REACTIONS TO A DISASTER OR
TRAUMATIC EVENT
​Children are no exception--
understandably many young
children may feel frightened,
confused and overwhelmed.
​They may confuse with why
and how bad things could
happen to normal or good
people.
Some children may feel
helpless and guilty because
they cannot take on adult
roles to contribute and
respond to a trauma or
disaster.
Some may even blame
themselves for the event.
Section 01
section 01

7. 7
POSSIBLE REACTIONS TO A DISASTER OR
TRAUMATIC EVENT
​Whether children directly experiencing a trauma, watch it
on TV or internet, or overhear others discussing it, they can
feel stress, helpless, confused, or anxious. Some may have
immediate reaction; others may have delay reaction.
​This booklet will help parents, teachers and caregivers,
learn some common reactions, respond in an effective
and helpful way, and know when to seek support.
​
Section 01
section 01
“Some may have
immediate reaction;
others may have
delay reaction”

8. 8
POSSIBLE REACTIONS TO A DISASTER OR
TRAUMATIC EVENT
​Many of the reactions
mentioned below are normal
when children and youth are
handling the stress right after
an event. However, if any of
these behaviours persist more
than 2 to 4 weeks, or if they
suddenly appear later on,
these children may need more
help coping.
​PRESCHOOL CHILDREN,
0–6 YEARS OLD, very
young children may go
back to thumb sucking or
wetting the bed at night
after a trauma. They may
fear strangers, darkness,
or monsters..
It is fairly common for
preschool children to become
clingier with a parent,
caregiver, or teacher or to
want to stay in a place
where they feel safe. They
may express the trauma
repeatedly in their play or
tell exaggerated stories
about what happened.
Section 01
section 01

9. 9
POSSIBLE REACTIONS TO A DISASTER OR
TRAUMATIC EVENT
​Some children’s eating and
sleeping habits may change.
They also may have aches and
pains that cannot be
explained. Other symptoms to
watch for are aggressive or
withdrawn behaviour,
hyperactivity, speech
difficulties, and disobedience.
CHILDREN, 7–10 YEARS OLD,
may fear going to school and
stop spending time with
friends. They may have trouble
paying attention and do poorly
in school overall. Some may
become aggressive for no
clear reason. Or they may act
younger than their age by
asking to be fed or dressed by
their parent or caregiver.
Section 01
section 01

10. 10
POSSIBLE REACTIONS TO A DISASTER OR
TRAUMATIC EVENT
​ADOLESCENTS AND
TEENAGERS, 11–18 YEARS
OLD, already going through a
lot of physical and emotional
changes because of their
developmental stage. So, it
may be even harder for them
to deal with trauma. Older
teens may deny or suppress
their reactions to themselves
and their caregivers.
​They may respond with a
routine “I’m OK”, “Nothing
happen” and go into isolation
or remain silence when they
are upset. Or, they may
complain about physical
discomfort or pains because
they cannot identify what is
really bothering them
emotionally.
Some may get irritated easily
or having mood swing at home
and/or at school, resisting
and challenging structures or
instructions. They also may
engage in risky behaviours
such as using alcohol or
speeding, driving haphazardly.
Section 01
section 01

11. 11
POSSIBLE REACTIONS TO A DISASTER OR
TRAUMATIC EVENT
​HOW PARENTS, CAREGIVERS,
AND TEACHERS CAN SUPPORT
CHILDREN’S RECOVERY
​By creating an open
environment where they feel
free to ask questions, we can
help them cope with stressful
events, and reduce the risk of
lasting emotional difficulties.
​Although these may be
difficult conversations, it is
crucial for their learning in
dealing with life’s
uncertainties.
​The good news is that children
and youth are usually quite
resilient. Most of the time they
get back to feeling ok soon
after a trauma.
​With appropriate support from
the adults around them, they
always recover and thrive. The
most important ways to help are
to make sure children feel
connected, understood, and
loved.
​“The good news is that children
and youth are usually quite
resilient.”
Section 01
section 01

12. ​8 tips that parents,
teachers and
caregivers can provide
to support their
children in the recovery
process.
section 02

13. 13
Tips 1: Be a role model
​Be a role model that provide a
sense of calm and reassuring.
Children learn from observing
their parents and teachers.
They will be very curious in
how you respond to events.
They also learn from listening
to your conversations with
other adults.
It’s ok for children and youth
to see adults sad or crying.
However, violence behaviour
such as screaming, hitting or
kicking furniture or walls can
be very scary for children.
Violence behaviour can
further frighten children or
lead to more trauma.
Adults can show children and
youth how to take care of
themselves. If you stay in good
physical and emotional health,
you are more likely to be
readily available to support
the children you care about.
Be a role model for self-care,
set routines, eat healthy
meals, get enough sleep,
exercise, and find ways to
relax yourself.
Section 02
section 02

14. 14
Tips 2: Listen to them first
​Parents, teachers, and other
caregivers can help children
express their emotions
through conversation, writing,
drawing, and singing. If
children want to talk about a
trauma, let it be.
​Accept their feelings and tell
them it is ok to feel sad,
upset, worries or stressed.
Crying is often a way to relieve
stress and grief. Let them cry
if they wanted to. Pay
attention and be an attentive
listener.
Section 02
section 02

15. 15
Tips 3: Check for their feelings and thoughts
​What are they hearing in
school or seeing on TV?
Watch news coverage on TV or
the Internet with them. And,
restrict access so they have
time away from reminders
about the trauma. Don’t let
talking about the trauma
occupy the family or
classroom discussion all the
time.
​Allow them to ask questions.
Create an open and
supportive environment where
children know they can ask
questions.
​However, it's best not to force
children to talk about things
unless and until they're ready
and willing.
​Ask your child or the children
in your care what worries
them and what might help
them cope.
Use words and concepts
children can understand.
Adjust your explanations to
the child's age, language, and
developmental level.
Section 02
section 02

16. 16
Tips 4: Let them express their feelings and
emotions appropriately
​Remember that children tend
to personalize situations. For
example, they may worry
about their own safety and the
safety of immediate family
members, friends and
neighbours. Some may even
felt that they somehow at fault
and blame themselves for the
unfortunate events.
​Acknowledge and validate the
child's thoughts, feelings, and
reactions, even it may sound
inappropriate and avoid
judging. Let them know that
you take their questions and
concerns seriously.
​Be prepared to repeat
information and explanations
several times.
​Some information may be
hard to accept or understand.
Asking the same question
over and over may also be a
way for a child to ask for
reassurance.
​“Be prepared to repeat
information and explanations
several times.”
Section 02
section 02

17. 17
Tips 5: Help children find ways to express
themselves
​Some children may not want
to talk about their thoughts,
feelings, or fears. They may be
more comfortable drawing
pictures, playing with toys, or
writing stories or poems. All
these expressions allow the
events to be processed in
their memory and integrate
into their learnings.
​Allow this to take place at
their own pace.
​Offer comfort with gentle
words, a hug when
appropriate, or just being
present with them.
Section 02
section 02

18. 18
Tips 6: Identify the good thing that comes out
of the event
​Encourage them to do
something within their control.
Adults can help children and
youth see the good that can
come out of a trauma.
​Heroic actions, families and
friends who help, and support
from people in the community
are examples.
​Children may better cope with a
trauma or disaster by helping
others.
​They can write caring letters,
draw a well-wishing card to
those who have been hurt or
have lost their homes/family
members; they can send thank
you notes to people who
helped.
​They can even initiate charity
to raise fund, donate toys and
other materials for the victims
or the affected family
members.
​Encourage these kinds of
activities. Encourage children
to participate in recreational
activities so they can move
around and play with others.
Section 02
section 02

19. 19
Tips 7: Use this opportunity to educate your
children and blame nobody
​If human violence or error
caused an event, be careful
not to blame a cultural, racial,
or ethnic group, or persons
with mental disabilities.
​This may be a good
opportunity to talk with
children about discrimination
and diversity.
​Focus on what we have learnt
from the incident and not
putting the blame on any
parties. Let children know that
they too are not to be blamed
when bad things happen. Give
children honest answers and
information. Children will
usually know, or eventually
find out, if you're "making
things up."
​It may affect their ability to trust
you or your reassurances in the
future. Explain to them the
actions that the relevant
authorities have taken to
prevent this from happening
again.
​It's a good opportunity to show
children that when something
unfortunate happens, there are
lessons to be learned.
Section 02
section 02

20. 20
Tips 8: Re-establish the routine in life
​Spend more time with the
children than usual, at least
for the next few days.
Returning to school activities
and getting back to routines at
home is important too. Let
them know that in time, the
tragedy will pass. Try not to
downplay the danger, instead
talk about our ability to cope
with tragedy and get through
the ordeal.
​Excuse traumatized children
from chores for a day or two.
​After that, make sure they go
back to normal routine, have
age-appropriate tasks and can
participate in a way that
makes them feel useful again.
Section 02
section 02

21. 21
One thing to avoid in this digital age
​ ​Avoid letting children
expose to those
frightening images or
news too often. The
repetition of such scenes
can be disturbing and
confusing.
.
​Although parents and
teachers may follow the
news and the daily events
with close scrutiny, many
children just want to be
children. Bring them to the
park and give everyone a
break.
Section 02
section 02

22. ​When More Help is
Needed & A Note of
Caution!
section 03

23. 23
When More Help Is Needed (1)
​In rare occasions, a child and
their family may have trouble
getting past a trauma. Parents
or caregivers may be afraid to
leave a child alone.
​Teachers may see that a
student is upset or seems
different. It would be very
helpful for everyone to work
together.
​Consider talking with a mental
health professional to help
identify the areas of difficulty.
Together, everyone can decide
how to help and learn from
each other.
​If a child has lost a loved one,
consider working with
someone who knows how to
support children who are
grieving.
​Consider seeking more help if a
child:
​• is preoccupied with
questions or concerns about
any kind of disasters;
​• has ongoing sleep
disturbances;
​• has intrusive thoughts or
worries; or
​• has recurring fears about
death, leaving parents, or going
to school.
Section 03
section 03

24. 24
When More Help Is Needed (2)
​If you as parent feel anxious,
angry or depressed, you are
not alone. Talk to friends,
family or colleagues who likely
are experiencing the same
feelings. Seek help if feelings
of anxiety and depression
continue, even after order has
been restored, or if these
feelings begin to overwhelm
you.
​“Coping with traumatic event
have to start with you as
parents, teachers or
caregivers first.”
​
Section 03
section 03

25. 25
A NOTE OF CAUTION!
​Be careful not to pressure children to talk about a trauma
or join in expressive activities. While most children will
easily talk about what happened, some may become
frightened.
​Some may even get traumatized again by talking about it,
listening to others talk about it, or looking at drawings of
the event. Allow children to remove themselves from these
activities, and monitor them for signs of distress.
Section 03
section 03
Allow children the time
and space to process
this memory at their
own pace and terms!

26. ​Who Are We?
​References and Online
Resources
section 04

27. 27
Who Are We?
​Academy of Asian Parenting &
Hypnotherapy is founded by
Ko Teik Yen with the mission
to EMPOWER modern Asian
parents in the 21st Century by
supporting, training and
coaching Asian parents. We
strive to provide the latest
insight into human social,
emotional and cognitive
development
​using scientifically proven
and parents tested
strategies and skills to
allow their children and
parents themselves to
flourish and fulfil their true
potential.
​
.
Section 04
section 04

28. 28
Who Are We?
​TY Ko is a graduate of National University of Malaysia with a degree in life
science and a Master degree from University of South Australia, as well as a
graduate of London College of Clinical Hypnosis with International Advance
Diploma in Clinical Hypnosis. Currently, he is a member of the British Society
of Clinical Hypnosis as well as an affiliate member of Academy of Family
Physicians Malaysia. He lectures regularly in Singapore and Malaysia for
London College of Clinical Hypnosis as well as conducts workshops and
seminars on parenting skills.
​He is the author of the upcoming book entitled: "Parenting 2.0 - Empowering
Moms and Dads with Scientifically Proven Insights, Strategies and Skills to
Raise Respectful, Responsible, Resilience and Resourceful Children".
Section 04
section 04

29. 29
References and Online resources
​American Academy of Pediatrics
www.aap.org
​Center for the Study of Traumatic Stress
www.cstsonline.org
​National Child Traumatic Stress Network
www.ncstn.org
​National Commission on Children and
Disasters. (2010). National Commission
on Children and Disasters: 2010 report to
the President and Congress. AHRQ
Publication No. 10-MO37. Rockville, MD:
Agency for Healthcare Research and
Quality. From
http://archive.ahrq.gov/prep/nccdreport/
nccdreport.pdf (accessed March 13,
2014).
Section 04

30. ​contact information
​For more info, please contact
us at
​info@asianparentingacademy.com
​Or
​info@asianhypnotherapycentre.com
​+6012-392 5057
thank you