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Dining Etiquette
- 3. Arrival
- 4. The Napkin
- 5. Your Bread and Butter
- 7. Salad
- 9. Dessert
- 10. When you have Finished
- 11. Social Graces
Editor's Notes
- You never get a second chance to make a first impression. And in this fast-food era, many people have forgotten – or were never taught - the fundamentals of dining etiquette. Which way should I pass? Which fork is mine? What do I do with my napkin? Table manners play an important part in making a favorable impression. They are visible signals of your manners and therefore are essential to professional success. Whether you are having lunch with a prospective employer or dinner with a business associate, your manners speak volumes about you. We will cover: Arrival at the table and what you do to prepare Table Setting: Napkin, Silverware, Dinnerware and Drinking Glasses Bread and Butter Salad Course Entrée Course Dessert Course When you Have Finished General Tips Diagram of Table Setting
- Meals can be used to observe your behavior in social settings to see how you conduct yourself, particularly if the job for which you are interviewing requires a certain standard of conduct with clients and superiors. Remember, the meal is an extension of the interview so put your best foot forward. Observe your behavior in a social setting See if you drink and how much Your ability to converse with ease and how you interact with other people from the company People tend to let their guards down and be more honest with their answers in this relaxed environment
- Upon arrival at the table: Do some research before dining at a new restaurant. You may want to familiarize yourself with an online menu so you can spend most of your time engaging with your host and not trying to decide what you want to eat This is especially important if you have food allergies or restrictions. Handle the situation beforehand to prevent an awkward situation Do not place any bags, purses, sunglasses, cell phones, or briefcases on the table DON’T BE LATE! Wait until your host asks you to sit or wait until they are seated When everyone is seated, gently unfold your napkin and place it on your lap, folded in half with the fold towards your waist Keep utensils in the same order they appear on the table Do not rearrange utensils to accommodate yourself if you are left-handed Wait for all parties to arrive before beginning any part of the meal Be aware of your surroundings! Take note of where the servers are when they are placing or taking away your food. Servers will serve and take away from the right. There is a long time misconception that food is served from the left and cleared from the right. This as true with butler service…food was served from a tray on the left (for ease if you are a right handed butler) and the right handed recipient reaching across to select their portion. Since most of us are not served by butlers…common practice is all from the right.
- PLACE IN SEAT WHEN EXCUSED In a Restaurant: As soon as you are seated, remove the napkin from your place setting, unfold it, and put it in your lap. Do not shake it open. The napkin rests on the lap until the end of the meal. Don't clean the cutlery or wipe your face with the napkin. NEVER use it to wipe your nose! If you excuse yourself from the table, loosely fold the napkin and place it in the seat of the chair signaling the staff you plan to return. At the end of the meal, leave the napkin semi-folded at the left side of the place setting. It should not be crumpled or twisted At a Formal Dinner or Private Party: The meal begins when the host or hostess unfolds his or her napkin. This is your signal to do the same. Place your napkin on your lap, completely unfolded if it is a small luncheon napkin or in half, lengthwise, if it is a large dinner napkin. Do not shake it open. The napkin rests on the lap until the end of the meal. Place the napkin in loose folds to the left of your plate. The host will signal the end of the meal by placing his or her napkin on the table. Once the meal is over, you too should place your napkin neatly on the table to the left of your dinner plate. Do not refold your napkin, but don't wad it up, either.
- Take a moment and observe how things are placed on the table Let’s start in the order in which you would eat and drink. (B and D-Letter shapes with your hands) Bread is on the left and your drink is on the right If someone else makes a mistake, don’t correct them and embarrass them in front of other guests Never cut a roll or biscuit with a knife-tear the piece you want to eat If getting butter from a central butter dish you use the master butter knife to serve a pat of butter onto your bread plate. Then use your personal butter knife from that point forward. Butter the piece you are eating at that time and return the butter knife to the bread plate, blade side in When passing-always pass to the right-do not intercept when someone has specifically asked for the bread
- Water goblet is the first starting at the left and working right In a truly formal setting- champagne, wine glass and then cordial glass last. (up to 5 total) For most purposes-Restaurants will place the water goblet and then based upon what type of beverage you order they will provide the appropriate glass…, champagne flutes, white wine glasses or red wine glasses and coffee cups (during dessert) Let’s talk about tea: (water glass set first then tea) Beverages that need to be sweetened or creamer- Don’t reach Pass to the right Use the teaspoon to dissolve Technically once a utensil has been used it should never touch the table again. Etiquette directs that the teaspoon should be kept in the glass until you are done-Use your best judgment based upon the dining group and restaurant If you used packets of sweetener-place the empty packets by the edge of your plate Rules to follow on what to order: If you are of drinking age and the person hosting dinner orders a glass of wine it is acceptable to order one as well. Be careful! Do not over-indulge…this is a test. They will be watching to see how you handle the situation. You want to have one alcoholic beverage to maintain the bar that was set. If you don’t like what was ordered
- Salad Course Wait on cues from your host-Wait for your host to take the first bite Dressing: If using a community dressing container- ask to pass (or pass to the right, always the right) If it’s in front of you, offer it to the person on your left first and then they will pass back to you Spoon dressing from container onto salad Use salad fork (outside fork-shorter tines) on the left of the plate You may use your knife to cut your salad Rest knife on top of your plate blade facing in Rest utensils parallel on your plate to signal you are done What happens if you find something unpleasant in your salad you don’t want to swallow? You return the item to your plate however it got to your mouth If you eat something by hand like an olive you may remove the pit with your hands If you used a fork to eat the olive from your salad you need to pass the pit to the plate by way of your fork Never spit anything out into your napkin
- Main Course Be thoughtful in your choice of entrée. BE sure you are comfortable eating what you order For example you may want to steer away from ordering things that require your hands (ribs, burgers) or even pasta that may be difficult to handle with a fork-eliminate the opportunity for embarrassment How to use a fork and knife There is the American and European version. Both are acceptable. Use the fork closest to your plate on the left side American- Hold your fork, tines down piercing your food if your left hand. Then hold your knife blade towards the food in your right hand and cut. Place the knife on the top of your plate blade side in, switch your fork from your left hand to your right to eat-repeat European- Same as above except you would keep the fork in your left hand and eat with the tines facing down and keep your knife in the right hand. You may rest your wrists maintaining knife and fork positions while you chew Cut one piece at a time, not the entire piece of meat It can be viewed as rude (to the chef) to ask for A-1 sauce or other condiments to put on your meat as it should be cooked properly Remember to eat slow. It’s not a race to see how fast you can finish. You want to leave plenty of pauses throughout dinner to maintain a good flow of conversation This will give your food a chance to cool off-do not blow on your food to cool it down Never talk with your mouth full of food
- Dessert Course To eat with fork or spoon? If its solid, eat with a fork If its more liquid, like a pudding eat with a spoon Formal setting-located at the top of your plate, horizontally placed Less formal setting, it will be presented by the server with the dessert
- Do not push your plate away from you or stack them up; leave plates and glasses where they are in the place setting To signal that your are done with the course, rest your fork, tines up, and knife blade in, with the handles resting at five o'clock and tips pointing to ten o'clock on your plate Any unused silverware is simply left on the table Place your loosely folded napkin to the side of your plate-never crumpled At this point it is acceptable to push your chair slightly away from the table and cross your legs-never during dinner
- How to handle sticky situations: What do you do if you drop your napkin or utensil-Leave it and ask the server for a clean on What if your meal isn’t cooked to your satisfaction? If it’s a minor mistake such as you didn’t want tomatoes on your salad-eat around the items you don’t want and let it go If it’s a major mistake discreetly ask your server to fix it as soon as you realize the mistake has been made-this way the timing will keep in line with the other people at the table This is a great opportunity to show your potential employer how you deal with confrontation in a gracious manner What if there is an item on the menu that looks good but you are unsure how to pronounce the name? Ask the server to tell you more about that item while pointing to the name on the menu No elbows on the table No toothpicks Acceptable to excuse yourself from the table-don’t need to explain why Go to the restroom to reapply makeup-never in public Stay clear of religion, politics, current events are good If you have been invited to someone’s home for a meal or social gathering remember two things Bring a generic hostess gift (candle, soaps) Send a hand written thank you note