Coping with Interference
•Download as PPTX, PDF•
1 like•522 views
Moses listened to wise counsel from his father-in-law Jethro on how to most effectively lead the Israelites. Jethro saw that Moses was trying to do too much alone and would wear himself out. He advised Moses to delegate responsibilities to other capable leaders to help bear the burden. Moses trusted Jethro and implemented his advice. However, later Ahithophel's counsel to Absalom was motivated by personal reasons related to a past family dispute, rather than the good of the people. This showed the importance of discerning motives and setting boundaries with those offering advice with ulterior motivations rather than the best interests of others.
More Related Content
Similar to Coping with Interference
Similar to Coping with Interference (20)
More from Stephen Palm
More from Stephen Palm (20)
Coping with Interference
- 1. Coping with Interference Coping with Interference What do you do when you are blessed with advice, solicited and unsolicited on how to manage your life and raise your family?
- 3. Coping with Interference Anonymous Quote on Pinterest “You don't like drama? Funny how your name comes up as executive producer on every single episode around you.”
- 4. Coping with Interference First Thought Carefully consider the unsolicited advice of a godly person who has demonstrated love and concern.
- 5. Coping with Interference Exodus 18 13 The next day Moses sat to judge the people, and the people stood around Moses from morning till evening.
- 6. 14 When Moses' father-in-law saw all that he was doing for the people, he said, …
- 7. Coping with Interference A. Jethro had earned the right to be heard.
- 8. Coping with Interference Pam Farrel “Influence can be defined as earning the right to be heard so that others are moved toward their best.”
- 9. Coping with Interference B. Jethro demonstrated wisdom in his counsel. • Jethro saw the big picture.
- 10. 14 When Moses' father-in-law saw all that he was doing for the people, he said, “What is this that you are doing for the people? Why do you sit alone, and all the people stand around you from morning till evening?”
- 11. 15 And Moses said to his father-in- law, “Because the people come to me to inquire of God; 16 when they have a dispute, they come to me and I decide between one person and another, and I make them know the statutes of God and his laws.”
- 12. 17 Moses' father-in-law said to him, “What you are doing is not good. 18 You and the people with you will certainly wear yourselves out, for the thing is too heavy for you. You are not able to do it alone. (Exodus 18)
- 13. Coping with Interference B. Jethro demonstrated wisdom in his counsel. • Jethro saw the big picture. • Jethro had the right answer.
- 14. 19 Now obey my voice; I will give you advice, and God be with you! You shall represent the people before God and bring their cases to God,
- 15. 20 and you shall warn them about the statutes and the laws, and make them know the way in which they must walk and what they must do.
- 16. 21 Moreover, look for able men from all the people, men who fear God, who are trustworthy and hate a bribe, and place such men over the people as chiefs of thousands, of hundreds, of fifties, and of tens.
- 17. 22 And let them judge the people at all times. Every great matter they shall bring to you, but any small matter they shall decide themselves. So it will be easier for you, and they will bear the burden with you.
- 18. 23 If you do this, God will direct you, you will be able to endure, and all this people also will go to their place in peace.”
- 19. Coping with Interference C. Moses trusted Jethro and took his advice. Moses listened to his father- in-law and did everything he said. (Ex. 18:24)
- 20. Coping with Interference Application Instruct a wise man and he will be wiser still; teach a righteous man and he will add to his learning. (Prov. 9:9)
- 21. Coping with Interference Second Thought Decline advice which is at odds with God’s Word and godly principles, no matter who gives it.
- 22. Coping with Interference “The two quick ways to disaster are to take nobody’s advice and to take everybody’s advice.” Dublin Opinion
- 23. Coping with Interference A. Like Jethro, Ahithophel had earned the right to be heard.
- 24. 2 Samuel 16:23 Now in those days the counsel that Ahithophel gave was as if one consulted the word of God; so was all the counsel of Ahithophel esteemed, both by David and by Absalom.
- 25. Coping with Interference B. Ahithophel had ceased to be a faithful counselor… and David and Abasalom were clueless.
- 26. 2 Samuel 16:20-22 20Then Absalom said to Ahithophel, “Give your counsel. What shall we do?”
- 27. 21Ahithophel said to Absalom, “Go in to your father’s concubines, whom he has left to keep the house, and all Israel will hear that you have made yourself a stench to your father, and the hands of all who are with you will be strengthened.”
- 28. 22So they pitched a tent for Absalom on the roof. And Absalom went in to his father’s concubines in the sight of all Israel. 2 Samuel 16
- 29. 2 Samuel 17 1Moreover, Ahithophel said to Absalom, “Let me choose twelve thousand men, and I will arise and pursue David tonight.
- 30. Coping with Interference 2I will come upon him while he is weary and discouraged and throw him into a panic, and all the people who are with him will flee. I will strike down only the king,
- 31. 3and I will bring all the people back to you as a bride comes home to her husband. You seek the life of only one man,a and all the people will be at peace.”
- 32. Coping with Interference What motivated this change in Ahithophel’s heart?
- 33. Coping with Interference What motivated Ahithophel’s defection? • Faulty Human Reasoning?
- 34. 2 Samuel 14:25-26 25Now in all Israel there was no one so much to be praised for his handsome appearance as Absalom. From the sole of his foot to the crown of his head there was no blemish in him.
- 35. 26And when he cut the hair of his head (for at the end of every year he used to cut it; when it was heavy on him, he cut it), he weighed the hair of his head, two hundred shekels by the king’s weight.
- 36. Troy Polamalu
- 37. Coping with Interference 2 Samuel 15:6 ...and so he stole the hearts of the men of Israel.
- 38. Coping with Interference Third Thought Set boundaries with people who offer advice for their own Ulterior Motivations.
- 39. Coping with Interference Colonel Harland Sanders “I didn’t do it for you … I did it for the child.”
- 40. Coping with Interference What motivated Ahithophel’s defection? • Faulty Human Reasoning? • A desire for revenge?
- 41. Coping with Interference 2 Samuel 23:34 Eliphelet the son of Ahasbai of Maacah, Eliam the son of Ahithophel of Gilo
- 42. Coping with Interference 2 Samuel 11:3 And David sent and inquired about the woman. And one said, “Is not thislBathsheba,, the wife of Uriah the daughter of Eliam the Hittite?”
- 44. Coping with Interference The answer in sorting through advice is the establishing of boundaries.
- 45. Coping with Interference Damaged Boundaries Damaged boundaries operate inconsistently and often dysfunctionally.
- 46. Coping with Interference Walled Boundaries People with walled boundaries have generally been deeply hurt by others and have erected barriers to prevent being hurt again…
- 47. Coping with Interference Example of Walled Boundaries “Watch a goat from the front, a horse from behind and a man from every side”
- 48. Coping with Interference No Boundaries A person with no boundaries is unable to prevent unwanted intrusions and may be unaware that it is possible to do so.
- 49. Coping with Interference Healthy Boundaries Healthy boundaries though not perfect, allow a person to experience a comfortable interdependence with other people.
- 50. Coping with Interference Healthy Boundaries Healthy Boundaries result in generally functional relationships and positive self-regard.
- 51. Coping with Interference Healthy Attitudes Hannah Whitall Smith “Nothing else but seeing God in everything can make us loving and patient with those who annoy us…
- 52. Coping with Interference When we realize that they are the only instruments for accomplishing His purpose in our lives, we will actually be able to thank them inwardly for the blessings they bring us.”
Editor's Notes
- Coping with Interference What do you do when you are blessed with unsolicited advice on how to manage your life and raise your family?
- Rudyard Kipling once wrote about families, “all of us are we—and everyone else is they.” A family shares things like dreams, hopes, possessions, memories, smiles, frowns, and gladness...A family is a clan held together with the glue of love and the cement of mutual respect. A family is shelter from the storm, a friendly port when the waves of life become too wild. No person is ever alone who is a member of a family. As you heard that description of the family as a clan held together with the glue of love and the cement of mutual respect, did any of you think in your mind, you haven’t met my family? As I read Kipling’s picture of the family as a shelter from the storms of life and a safe haven, were there some of you snickering to yourself and thinking, “My family is the storm from which I need a safe haven?”
- Anonymous Quote on Pinterest “You don't like drama? Funny how your name comes up as executive producer on every single episode around you.” Between our highest hopes and our worst nightmares lies the truth of our existence. The real world in which we live. One of these truths is that our family, the place we look to for support and encouragement, is at times the place where we are most beleaguered and discouraged. This morning, we are going to look at several biblical texts in which a family member gives unsolicited advice. In this way, I hope that we can gain some insight in how to receive such feedback, especially when we’re not asking for help.
- First Thought Carefully consider the unsolicited advice of a godly person who has demonstrated love and concern.
- Exodus 18 13 The next day Moses sat to judge the people, and the people stood around Moses from morning till evening.
- 14 When Moses' father-in-law saw all that he was doing for the people, he said, … STOP… Proceed with Caution… Is this the right time? Am I the right person? Is what I’m about the say the right advice? Have I consulted with God?
- A. Jethro had earned the earned the right to be heard He provided Moses with a safe haven when he was a fugitive from Pharaoh’s wrath. Jethro gave him a wife, a job and the privileges of a son. (Ex. 2) Jethro released Moses from his family responsibilities so that he could fulfill God’s call to deliver Israel. Jethro provided for Moses’ wife and children in his absence. Preaching Note… We have to earn the right to be heard.
- “Influence can be defined as earning the right to be heard so that others are moved toward their best.” (Pam Farrel)
- B. Jethro demonstrated wisdom in his counsel. Jethro saw the big picture. Moses one man judicial system was no good for Israel. It prohibited swift justice. Moses solo act was also no good for him. It would lead to burn-out.
- 14 When Moses' father-in-law saw all that he was doing for the people, he said, “What is this that you are doing for the people? Why do you sit alone, and all the people stand around you from morning till evening?”
- 15 And Moses said to his father-in-law, “Because the people come to me to inquire of God; 16 when they have a dispute, they come to me and I decide between one person and another, and I make them know the statutes of God and his laws.”
- 17 Moses' father-in-law said to him, “What you are doing is not good. 18 You and the people with you will certainly wear yourselves out, for the thing is too heavy for you. You are not able to do it alone.
- B. Jethro demonstrated wisdom in his counsel. Jethro saw the big picture. Moses one man judicial system was no good for Israel. It prohibited swift justice. Moses solo act was also no good for him. It would lead to burn-out. Jethro had the right answer. In encouraging Moses to delegate responsibility he helped Moses to build a broader leadership. In exhorting Moses to personally hear the most difficult cases, he grasped Moses’ unique role as God’s law-giver.
- 19 Now obey my voice; I will give you advice, and God be with you! You shall represent the people before God and bring their cases to God,
- 20 and you shall warn them about the statutes and the laws, and make them know the way in which they must walk and what they must do.
- 21 Moreover, look for able men from all the people, men who fear God, who are trustworthy and hate a bribe, and place such men over the people as chiefs of thousands, of hundreds, of fifties, and of tens.
- 22 And let them judge the people at all times. Every great matter they shall bring to you, but any small matter they shall decide themselves. So it will be easier for you, and they will bear the burden with you.
- 23 If you do this, God will direct you, you will be able to endure, and all this people also will go to their place in peace.”
- C. Moses trusted Jethro and took his advice. Moses listened to his father-in-law and did everything he said. (Ex. 18:24) The leader of Israel proved what is said of him in God’s Word, that he is the humblest of men. Humble enough to receive wise counsel and act upon it. The Bible is just as full of examples of men who received godly counsel, yet arrogantly rejected it. King Rehoboam spurned godly counsel to give the people reassurance that he would be a just king. His bragging and bravado cost him most of his kingdom. King Ahab spurned Micaiah’s warning not to go up against Ramoth Gilead. It cost him his life.
- Application Perhaps there is someone who loves you who sees a mistake you are making. Perhaps you are spending money you don’t have. Or, perhaps you are failing to properly discipline your children and they are running amok. The Bible encourages a teachable spirit. Instruct a wise man and he will be wiser still; teach a righteous man and he will add to his learning. (Prov. 9:9)
- II. Decline Advice Which Is At Odds With God’s Word and Godly Principles, no matter who gives it.
- The two quick ways to disaster are to take nobody’s advice and to take everybody’s advice.” Dublin Opinion
- A. Ahithophel had earned the right to be heard. Ahithophel was one of David’s most respected counselors.
- 2 Samuel 16:23 Now in those days the counsel that Ahithophel gave was as if one consulted the word of God; so was all the counsel of Ahithophel esteemed, both by David and by Absalom. In order to gain such a reputation with the godly and wise King David, Ahithophel must have had a truly impressive track record. However, the story of Ahithophel is a reminder that even the most sagely and beloved of friends can steer us wrong. READ 2 Samuel 16:20-22; 17:1-3
- B. Ahithophel had ceased to be a faithful counselor… and David was clueless.
- 2 Samuel 16:20-22 20Then Absalom said to Ahithophel, “Give your counsel. What shall we do?”
- 21Ahithophel said to Absalom, “Go in to your father’s concubines, whom he has left to keep the house, and all Israel will hear that you have made yourself a stench to your father, and the hands of all who are with you will be strengthened.”
- 22So they pitched a tent for Absalom on the roof. And Absalom went in to his father’s concubines in the sight of all Israel. 2 Samuel 16
- 22So they pitched a tent for Absalom on the roof. And Absalom went in to his father’s concubines in the sight of all Israel. 2 Samuel 16
- What motivated Ahithophel’s defection? David was an aging monarch near the end of his reign. Absalom was a “rising star” He may have been awed by Absalom’s natural beauty:
- 2 Samuel 14:25-26 25Now in all Israel there was no one so much to be praised for his handsome appearance as Absalom. From the sole of his foot to the crown of his head there was no blemish in him.
- 26And when he cut the hair of his head (for at the end of every year he used to cut it; when it was heavy on him, he cut it), he weighed the hair of his head, two hundred shekels by the king’s weight.
- 2 Samuel 15:6 ...and so he stole the hearts of the men of Israel.
- Third Thought Set boundaries with people who offer unsolicited advice for their own Ulterior Motivations.
- On a Western Airlines flight to San Francisco, fried chicken tycoon Col. Harland Sanders, 89, had made himself agreeable to staff and fellow passengers, then dropped his chin to his narrow black tie and closed his eyes. Somewhere in the back of the plane a child had been shrieking for some time. One stewardess told another helplessly, “I’ve tried candy, books and games, but nothing seems to make any difference.” “I’ve got to speak to that child,” said the colonel. He rose to his feet and, with the aid of his cane, made his way back. The staff watched and shrugged, as if to say, “What can he do?” When the colonel came back, not long afterward, his charm had produced a minor miracle. There was only the sound of chatter, newspapers and china. The stewardess came up to him and said, “Thank you for helping us, Colonel.” “I didn’t do it for you,” he replied. “I did it for the child.” And he closed his eyes again and settled down. Contributed by Helen Dewar, Reader’s Digest That little story draws a contrast between the stewardess and Colonel Sanders. The Colonel was thinking of the child. The stewardess was thinking of her own sanity, and the sanity of other passengers. It is a reminder that we can operate out of many different motivations, some noble, some neutral and some ulterior.
- What motivated Ahithophel’s defection? A desire for revenge
- 2 Samuel 23:34 Eliphelet the son of Ahasbai of Maacah, Eliam the son of Ahithophel of Gilo Samuel 23:34
- 2 Samuel 11:3 And David sent and inquired about the woman. And one said, “Is not thislBathsheba,, the wife of Uriah the daughter of Eliam the Hittite?”
- The answer in sorting through advice is the establishing of boundaries. Before building appropriate boundaries, it is important that we understand that there are some unhealthy types of boundaries which work against the formation of healthy relationships.
- Damaged Boundaries Damaged boundaries operate inconsistently and often dysfunctionally. They are the result of mixed messages and abuse, and are usually related to abusive relationships in the individual's family of origin and/or relationships of choice.
- Walled Boundaries Walls protect the person who has constructed them but do not let anything in or out. This person lives in a state of loneliness, possibly protected from the assaults of others, but also prevented from establishing trusting and intimate relationships. People with walled boundaries have generally been deeply hurt by others and have erected barriers to prevent being hurt again by others' actions, thoughts and feelings.
- Example of Walled Boundaries “Watch a goat from the front, a horse from behind and a man from every side”
- No Boundaries No boundaries is the opposite extreme from walled ones. A person with no boundaries is unable to prevent unwanted intrusions and may be unaware that it is possible to do so.
- Healthy Boundaries Healthy boundaries though not perfect, allow a person to experience a comfortable interdependence with other people, resulting in generally functional relationships and positive self-regard. They are: Existent Consistent Permeable – Like a Cell Membrane which allows good things in and keeps toxins out.
- Healthy Boundaries Healthy boundaries though not perfect, allow a person to experience a comfortable interdependence with other people, resulting in generally functional relationships and positive self-regard. They are: Existent Consistent Permeable – Like a Cell Membrane which allows good things in and keeps toxins out.
- Nothing else but seeing God in everything can make us loving and patient with those who annoy us
- When we realize that they are the only instruments for accomplishing His purpose in our lives, we will actually be able to thank them inwardly for the blessings they bring us. -- Hannah Whitall Smith