Students at Exeter College began a hall boycott to protest the disproportionately high £840 annual catering charge that students living in the college are required to pay. The boycott was organized by the JCR and MCR after motions calling for protests over the high food costs. Students are finding alternatives to eating in the college hall, with support from other Oxford college JCRs. The college Rector acknowledged the issue but the protests continue over the lack of negotiations with college authorities on lowering costs.

1. Nobody likes bills, but to be told in
Freshers’ Week that in order to
begin your studies, you are
required to pay £280 a term simply
for the privilege of setting foot in
the only on-site eating place is
something else.
Such is the fate of every student
at Exeter College. Exonians have
long wondered why other colleges
manage to provide an affordable
service while they have to budget at
least £85 a week just for food.
Indeed, to look at the healthy
surplus detailed in our yearly
Donors’ Report and yet to accept
battels as fair would amount to a
sort of masochism. After years of
discontent on the part of the
student common rooms, the
problem of the dreaded Catering
Charge has finally come to a head.
So both JCR and MCR have passed
motions calling for a hall boycott
and regular protests, as a symbolic
act of defiance.
Students are taking this
opportunity to make plain their
opposition to the high cost of
eating at Exeter, relative to other
colleges, with the intention of
forcing the SCR’s attention onto
this perennial problem and
hopefullystirringtheirconsciences
in the process.
Continued on page 4
For students to accept this charge
would amount to masochism
Richard Collett-White, JCR President
EXETER COLLEGE students have
begun a hall boycott after an
emergency JCR meeting was held on
Sunday to reaffirm the decision and
discuss alternative eating options.
The JCR voted last week to hold a
hall boycott to protest against the
disproportionately high living costs
faced by students compared to other
colleges, particularly against the
£840 annual catering charge that is
paid by students living in.
In a piece written for Cherwell,
Richard Collett-White explained the
basis of the strike. He noted that
students are required to pay £280
“simply for the privilege of setting
foot in the only on-site eating place.”
He said, “JCR and MCR have passed
motions calling for a hall boycott
and regular protests, as a symbolic
act of defiance.”
The strike follows a motion in the
JCR and MCR passed last week
seconded by over 100 students,
which said, “the catering charge for
students living in is ludicrous.”
It went on, “College did not
negotiate properly on rent last year
and are totally intransigent on the
catering charge issue. Further
discussion with College is futile
until they start listening.”
Since Trinity, Exeter students have
tweeting using the hashtags ‘#FTCC’
(‘Fuck the Catering Charge’) and
#CTCC (‘Cancel the Catering Charge).
The college’s Rector, Frances
Cairncross, told Cherwell, “We have
already been in talks with our
students and hope to continue to
explore options. Meanwhile, we are
sorry that they should boycott the
College’s catering provision.”
A Facebook group called ‘Exeter
CollegeHallternatives’hasorganised
eating options for the boycott by
connecting Exeter students with
other colleges. JCRs including
Balliol, St. Hilda’s, Linacre, and fellow
Turl Street colleges Lincoln and
Jesus, have offered to take people for
lunch and dinner. Balliol has offered
students discount ‘Balliol Blues’,
while Wadham SU has palso assed a
motion of solidarity with Exeter.
The catering manager for the
‘Hallternatives’ said, “Most people in
college are totally behind the
boycott, and we have received a lot of
support from other JCRs as well. As
far as negotiations with college go,
we haven’t heard too much back, but
it is early days.
This Wednesday saw a major day of
action, with students from both the
JCR and MCR marching through
college and Turl Street holding
banners. The protest was followed by
a ‘Welfare Dinner’ organised by the
JCR.
Continued on page 4
“Fuck the Catering Charge”
Megan Gibbons
Cherwell
www.cherwell.org
Friday 21.2.14
5th Week
Vol. 270, No. 6
Independent since 1920
Alan Ayckbourn on
acting and aging
Feargal Sharkey talks
technology and
creativity
INSIDE:
Tommy Wiseau on
directing the ‘Best
Worst Movie
Ever Made’
Exeter students launch hall strike to protest ‘ludicrous’ £840 food fee
Alan Ayckbourn
acting and aging
Feargal Sharkey
technology and
For students to accept this charge

2. AMIDST INTERNATIONAL CONTROVERSY as to
the ethics of leaking classified information,
whistleblower Chelsea Manning received the
2014 Sam Adams Award for Integrity in
Intelligence in absentia this Wednesday in a
ceremony at the Oxford Union.
Manning, a former US Army private
currently serving a 35 year prison sentence,
committed perhaps the greatest single leak of
classified information ever in 2010.
The intelligence she passed on to WikiLeaks
is thought to have influenced the 2010 Arab
Spring, launched heated worldwide discussion
about national security vs. freedom of
information, and inspired other
whistleblowers like Edward Snowden, who
received the Sam Adams Award last year.
Wednesday evening’s ceremony, which took
place at the Oxford Union, included a rare
video message from Edward Snowden, who
congratulated Manning. He stressed that her
work highlighted the problem of “over
classification”, where governments use state
secrets privilege to withhold information
unrelated to national security.
Oxford Union President Polina Ivanova
commented on the significance of Snowden’s
video appearance in the ceremony honouring
Manning, stating, “The feel of the event and its
participants’ speeches is best illustrated by
Snowden’s closing words in the video – ‘It is for
an extraordinary act of public service at
unbelievable personal cost that we grant this
award to Chelsea Manning’.” The Sam Adams
Award is given to a US or UK intelligence officer
dedicated to uncovering the truth, even when
this involves breaking the law.
One of the awards panel, retired CIA analyst
Ray McGovern, commented in a Radio Times
interviewontheconspicuousnessofManning’s
absence at the awards ceremony.
“It is rather mysterious and rather amazing
that three of our six awardees are not free.
Bradley Manning, or Chelsea Manning, in
federal prison, Julian Assange cooped up in the
Ecuadorian embassy in London and, of course,
Snowden in Russia unable to travel because the
United States withdrew his passport, making
him stateless,” McGovern said. “So we are
beginning to wonder whether the Sam Adams
Prize is a good thing to have when 50 per cent
of our [awardees] find themselves in some kind
of confinement.”
Members from the Oxford Campaign for
Nuclear Disarmament demonstrated on
Cornmarket hours before the Union awards
ceremony. Organiser Genny Bove told
Cherwell, “We thought it was really important
to have some presence on the street so people
who live in Oxford and are passing through
can get information about what’s going on.”
The Oxford campaigners have joined
national efforts to support Manning during
her incarceration, including raising money for
her Welsh family to visit her in prison.
One postgraduate said, “Having this event at
Oxford is really significant; I’m glad the Union
is providing such a high-profile stage to
honour the achievements of whistleblowers
and give them a voice when that’s unavailable
in so many other places. Chelsea Manning has
started a conversation we all need to be
having.”
A third year student commented, “This is an
important issue and I’m pleased to see that the
Union is playing host to the awards. The
revelations have provided a crucial insight
intotheworkingsoftheAmericangovernment
and it is fitting that Chelsea Manning has
received this award.”
Jack Doyle
Union plays host to Chelsea Manning ceremony
2_news 21.2.14
Whistleblowing for change
Edward Snowden makes rare video appearance as Manning given ‘integrity in intelligence’ award
Chelsea Manning
has started a
conversation we all
need to be having
“
1HRH PRINCESS ANNE visited LMH on Tues-
day to present awards on behalf of the
charitable trust Ockendon International
to charities deemed to be running the best
projects in developing countries.
2BRASENOSE GEOGRAPHY ALUMNUS Aditi
Arora has become the first winner of the
Transport Geography Resarch Group Under-
graduate Dissertation Prize. She won the
prize for her dissertation ‘Negotiating Space:
Cycle rickshaws in a changing capital’ which
investigates the conflict between rickshaw
drivers and authorities in Delhi.
3OXFORD’S NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM re-
opened last week after a fourteen month
hiatus, during which time a £2m project was
undertaken to restore the 8,500 glass tiles
of the leaking Victorian roof. The 150 year-
old museum will be the only museum in the
world to display a dodo skin sample later
this year.
4AN OXFORD RESEARCH TEAM has devel-
oped a map showing history’s impact
on the ancestral genetic mix of ninety five
different populations around the world. The
work displays, dates and characterises ge-
netic mixing between populations, showing
the consequences of events from European
colonialism to the Arab slave trade.
5ST HILDA’S GENDER EQUALITY FESTIVAL
will run for one week from Monday. It will
include a variety of debate and discussion,
featuring prominent advocates of gender
equality, with the aim of drawing attention
to current issues on the subject.
This week
News in brief

3. 21.2.14 news_3
Students paid almost £130,000 in fines to Bodleian libraries in the last academic year, with the Social Sciences library alone earning £34,000
DATA RECEIVED via a Freedom of Information
request has revealed that Oxford University
received £127,573 in library fines from Bodleian
libraries during the 2012/13 academic year. This
was up from £126,063 the previous year, but
down from the £128,187 taken in 2010/11.
The largest contributor to this sum was the
Social Sciences Library, which accumulated
£34,098 in fines, more than twice as much as
its closest rival, the History Faculty Library on
£15,956. The Social Sciences Library’s high rate
of fines has been blamed by students on the
number of short-term loans the library offers.
The Social Sciences Library topped the
rankings for all three years for which data has
been received, and currently leads the way in
2013/14 on £6,830 (as of 31st December).
The Latin American Centre was the least
punitive library in 2012/13, taking only
£214 in fines, though in 2011/12 it was
pipped by the OUDCE Library with
a mere £136 in fines. So far in
2013/14, the Law Library and
the Oriental Institute
£10 a piece, though
to pay off fines at the end of the year. One of the
university’s graduation requirements requires
students to have no outstanding Bodleian
libraries fines.
The practice of fining has not been without
controversy. Nathan Akehurst, who ran for
OUSU President in 2013 on the Reclaim OUSU
slate, has strongly condemned financial
penalties. On the subject of these library fines,
Akehurst told Cherwell, “I recognise that
incentivising the swift return of books is
important for students, but I don’t feel overly
punitive fines help that end, and as with all
fines, impact disproportionately upon poorer
students whilst providing those who can
afford it a licence to do what they like.”
According to a university statement, the
money accumulated from these library fines
“goes into the general library income stream...
It remains within the libraries but is not
directly allocated to any particular
OUSU President Tom Rutland told
Cherwell, “When some major
faculty libraries are only open
for 5 and half days a week, it is
concerning that the
university is making so much
money from students who
give books back late. Perhaps
the money made from library
fines could go towards better
opening hours. After being
instigated by NUS to
investigate academic
sanctions (e.g. the
withholding of a degree)
for non-academic debt
(i.e. debt not related to
tuition fees, such as library fines) the Office for
Fair Trading has declared that universities that
do this may be breaching consumer law.”
Second year PPEist Will Boardman
commented, “It is disgraceful that a set of
institutions designed with the purpose to
facilitate the broadening of young people’s
understanding and knowledge leverage their
monopoly in such a way to penalise already
cost stricken students.”
However, Tosh Oyerinde, an American
visiting student, suggested, “It’s fine for the
libraries to charge and collect fines because
everyone is aware of the policies.
“What I think would be more interesting to
see is how they spend it.”
Another student said, “Libraries have got to
incentivise returning books on time somehow,
or else people who really need books would
not be able to get them”
A New College fresher remarked, “The total is
surprisingly high, but in terms of individual
fines I think it’s fair enough – it’s easy to renew
books and they do tell you if you’re about to be
fined, so as long as the money is used for
something reasonable (like buying more
books) I’m not too bothered.”
There may be a relation between students’
opinions on library fines and their history of
racking up fines. One student told Cherwell,
“As someone who has racked up £50 in library
fines and who refuses to pay them, so is unable
to borrow books from the Rad Cam, I feel I may
be somewhat biased.”
A fine time to be an Oxford University Librarian
Nick Hilton
Lord Ken MacDonald recommended by Blair as potential chair of hacking inquiry
Jack Doyle
Blair, Brooks and the Wadham Warden
RECENT EVIDENCE in the ongoing News of the
World’s phone-hacking case has revealed that
Tony Blair secretly advised Rebekah Brooks to
consider facing an independent inquiry head-
ed by Ken MacDonald, QC, the current Warden
of Wadham College.
A July 2011 e-mail from Brooks, then Chief
Executive of News International, to James Mur-
doch alleges that Blair offered her advice for sal-
vaging her reputation as the News of the World
phone-hacking scandal emerged.
As part of her work for the Murdoch-owned
News Corporation, Brooks was the 2003-2009
editor of The Sun, which publicly supported
Blair during three general elections. She is un-
derstood to have been good friends with Blair.
According to Brooks, the former prime min-
ister suggested she set up an inquiry to publish
a “Hutton-style report” that would “clear you
and accept shortcomings”. Blair went on to sug-
gest Ken MacDonald as “a great and good type”
who might be a candidate for the head of this
inquiry.
At the time the e-mail was sent, Ken Mac-
Donald had recently returned to private legal
practice after retiring his post as Director of
Public Prosecutions. Later that July, MacDonald
revealed “evidence of serious criminal offenc-
es” committed by News International whilst
representing the Murdoch corporation in a tri-
al regarding allegations that News of the World
made inappropriate payments to Metropolitan
Police offcers.
MacDonald’s 2003-2008 term as DPP was ini-
tially controversial, given that he had been col-
leagues with Cherie Blair at Matrix Chambers.
At the time of his appointment. Michael How-
ard labelled him a “crony” of the Blairs.
During his time as DPP, MacDonald notably
defended the rights of terrorism cases in the
UK, opposing proposed extensions to detain-
ment times and rejecting evidence obtained by
torture.
MacDonald became Warden of Wadham Col-
lege in September 2012. Both he and the College
were unavailable for comment regarding his
being linked to Blair in the new phone-hacking
trial evidence.
The News of the World phone-hacking trial
has been an explosive focal point for national
discussion of privacy and surveillance since
July 2011, when it was revealed the Sunday tab-
loid had accessed the voicemails of a murdered
teenager, deceased British soldiers, and victims
of the 7/7 bombings.
The subsequent 2012 Leveson Inquiry re-
port confirmed News International’s extensive
phone-hacking and recommended significant
changes to British press culture.
Currently, seven people connected to News
International are on trial at the Old Bailey, in-
cluding Rebekah Brooks and David Cameron’s
former Director of Communications Andy Coul-
son.
On Thursday, Rebekah Brooks was acquited
of one of five charges against her.
SU passes unanimous motion to offer resources to suspended students
Holly Whiston
Wadham lobbies for rusticated students
WADHAM SU HAS PASSED an emergency mo-
tion proposing to lobby the college for changes
to the support systems for suspended students,
allowing them access to college facilities.
The motion, which passed unanimously at
Sunday’s SU meeting, was put forward by fi-
nalist Chloe Kane. It outlined plans to allow
suspended students access to college grounds
and services, and to guarantee accommodation
until the end of the term in which the student
rusticated, so as to allow them time to find al-
ternative living arrangements.
A system was proposed whereby “students
should have a key contact in college, who is des-
ignated as the special contact for suspended
status students, who has undergone welfare
training [and] can advise the student of their
rights.”
Plans to provide “easily accessible informa-
tion” about rustication were also put forward,
and the motion stressed that the particular na-
ture of each rusticatee’s case must be taken into
account since “a blanket policy does not work
well when each individual’s case and needs are
different.”
Earlier this month OUSU announced changes
to the University’s procedures for suspended
students, under which those who rusticate
will be allowed access to Oxford-wide facilities
including faculty libraries, Nexus, and other
services requiring a Bod card. However, under
such proposals students would still excluded
from individual college grounds, amenities, ac-
commodation, and events.
One Wadham student described Sunday’s
motion as “highlighting unfair treatment of
rusticated students under the current system.
Although at Oxford we’re told that our welfare
is put first, our fantastic college-based services
are off-limits to the most vulnerable at their
most difficult time.”
Wadham SU President Anya Metzer stated,
“College have independently expressed a desire
to examine the Wadham policy on suspended
students and after this motion passed unani-
mously we have a strong mandate to pursue the
changes outlined in the motion. On the heels of
OUSU’s recent triumph, students are engaging
with this issue across campus, and I am keen to
negotiate for the rights of suspended students
as valued members of our community.”
Themotionwassubmittedfollowingasurvey
conducted through the Wadham SU Facebook
page, which assessed the attitudes of Wadham
students, both current and suspended, towards
rustication. Of the 149 surveyed, 97 per cent felt
they had received ‘little or no information on
the issue of suspension’ and 92 per cent felt
they ‘should have been better informed’.
Charlotte Cooper Beglin, Wadham SU’s Ac-
cess Officer, commented, “Students most often
suspend their studies for very difficult health
or personal reasons, and they should still be
seen as members of the college community
and given the support they need.
“I’m glad we’re starting a conversation with
college about it. Hopefully it will mean no-one
feels ostracised as a suspended student and ev-
eryone gets equally good care.”
Other
Health Care
Sackler
Philosophy & Theology
Taylor Institution
English
Radcliffe Science
Bodleian History
Social Science
Fine Revenues (£): 2013 Academic Year Start – December 31st
17451461
2100
2246
3053
3148 3994
4272
6830
The Latin American Centre was the least
punitive library in 2012/13, taking only
£214 in fines, though in 2011/12 it was
pipped by the OUDCE Library with
a mere £136 in fines. So far in
2013/14, the Law Library and
the Oriental Institute
Library have taken just
£10 a piece, though
current figures are
likely to change
radically when
students
rush
money accumulated from these library fines
“goes into the general library income stream...
It remains within the libraries but is not
directly allocated to any particular
purpose.”
OUSU President Tom Rutland told
Cherwell, “When some major
faculty libraries are only open
for 5 and half days a week, it is
concerning that the
university is making so much
money from students who
give books back late. Perhaps
the money made from library
fines could go towards better
opening hours. After being
instigated by NUS to
investigate academic
sanctions (e.g. the
withholding of a degree)
for non-academic debt
(i.e. debt not related to

4. 4_news 21.2.14
Fellow of New College criticised for comments in the Financial Times
Izzy Mathie
OXFORD CLASSICS FELLOW Robin Lane Fox has
sparkedcontroversyforwritinginanewspaper
column that “a woman’s evening dress should
look like an apparently stormable fortress.”
The comment was made in a gardening
column reviewing an exhibition on the
interplay between fashion and the floral for
the Financial Times weekend supplement. Lane
Fox’s choice of words has lead to condemnation
by some students.
Lucy Delaney, WomCam Chair, said, “I feel
that these comments are misogynistic and
reflective of the view that it is acceptable for
men to govern the way women dress for the
sole purpose of their own sexual gratification.
His negative reaction to the Valentino dress on
the grounds that it seemed impenetrable or
not‘stormable’isaggressiveandunacceptable.”
Whenaskedtoclarifythemeaning
of his statement, Lane Fox
claimed to have been
misquoted. “I was echoing
someone else’s remark… a
famous designer. It should
have read ‘apparently
impregnable’, in actual
fact,” he told Cherwell. In
response to Cherwell’s
inquiries, he added, “Your
criteria for casual misogny
are rather broad?”
Lane Fox is Emeritus Fellow
of New College, Garden Master
and Extraordinary Lecturer of
both New and Exeter Colleges,
and Reader in Ancient
History for the
University of
Oxford. He
has published major works on topics ranging
from Alexander the Great to paganism, early
Christianity and Islam under the Roman
Empire, as well as writing and presenting
documentaries for the BBC.
Other students defended Lane Fox’s remarks.
“Taken in context, it’s not as bad as it sounds,”
commented a female historian. “There are
definitely a lot of professors here with
antiquated views though – this kind of
vocabulary doesn’t surprise me.”
Lane’s “apparently stormable fortress”
remark refers to a dress made of fabric and
wire by designer Valentino Garavani, about
which he also commented, “It looks as though I
would need secateurs... I hope she is wearing
Oxford Don in sexism row
The initial proposal was to try and find a way to
make hall more efficient, but the general
consensus has changed with students now
calling for the college to bare more of the loss
hall makes, in keeping with other colleges.
One access volunteer and finalist at Exeter
told Cherwell, “With one kitchen for 144 people,
nobody took the decision to boycott lightly.
“Following Tom Rutland’s mention of the
boycott in his e-mail, we’ve had loads of offers
of help from students at other colleges, this is a
fantastic display of student solidarity.
“Battels at Exeter are 20% above the median.
That scale of variation is not healthy in a
university, especially given Oxford already has
a bad reputation for being too expensive for
many students.”
According to information sent out by the JCR
to students, Exeter has the highest catering
charge in Oxford by a margin of £116 per term
and according to recent OUSU statistics it is the
second most expensive college for students
living in. It is estimated that, with the catering
charge factored in, the cost of eating in hall for
someone living in is around £13 a day.
The JCR information also said that Exeter is
ranked bottom in Oxford for Living Cost
satisfaction according to the ‘Oxford Student
Barometer’, making general satisfaction over
30% lower than the average.
Lucy McCann, a first year at Exeter said, “I’ve
spoken to many Exeter students who’ve told
me that had they known about the catering
charge, they wouldn’t have applied to the
college; I certainly wouldn’t have myself.
“Not only is the charge unfair, it’s a massive
access issue for the college.”
The protests are expected to continue until
the end of term.
Exeter President outlines opposition to obligatory catering fee
continued from page 1
Charge undermines access, says JCR Pres
College management is often seen to
possess a bloody-minded intransigence
over money, with previous student
representatives claiming they were “steam-
rolled” through rent negotiations. Students
are to be seen and not heard – yet another
nod to Oxford’s near Victorian ways.
Aswellaspushingstudentsintohardship,
the Catering Charge is opposed on grounds
of Access. If Exeter wants to take its work in
this area seriously – which I sincerely hope it
does – something must be done about this
obstacle to attracting less well-off
applicants. The Rector has said herself that
one of her greatest regrets is the lack of
success with Access at Exeter during her
time here. I don’t think it is a coincidence
that we rank both top of the table for living
costs and near-bottom for state school
intake. All very well to say we have hardship
bursaries – but so does every college!
Our high living costs make for a college in
discord. Virtually no one has a positive word
to say about the college authorities, and
relations between the SCR and student
common rooms couldn’t get much worse.
Let’s hope our demonstration yesterday
(with chants of “We’ve got beef!”, “Less cash
for mash!”, and “We’ll fight our battels and
win!”) had some impact. One thing should
be clear to College: given our heavy
dependence on alumni donations, the
current strategy is surely one of staggering,
self-defeating short-sightedness.
Richard Collett-White
Exeter JCR President
Continued from page 1
His negative reaction to the Valentino dress on
the grounds that it seemed impenetrable or
not‘stormable’isaggressiveandunacceptable.”
Whenaskedtoclarifythemeaning
of his statement, Lane Fox
claimed to have been
misquoted. “I was echoing
someone else’s remark… a
famous designer. It should
have read ‘apparently
impregnable’, in actual
fact,” he told Cherwell. In
response to Cherwell’s
inquiries, he added, “Your
criteria for casual misogny
are rather broad?”
Lane Fox is Emeritus Fellow
of New College, Garden Master
and Extraordinary Lecturer of
both New and Exeter Colleges,
and Reader in Ancient
History for the
University of
Oxford. He
would need secateurs... I hope she is wearing
bunches of violets on her underwear, the
flowers that keen gardeners best like to
discover on the final layer.”
Helen Thomas, a member of WomCam,
told Cherwell, “It is what keeps women
underrepresentedandsubordinate…
it’s lazy and cheap, and extremely
damaging. The best way to fight
sexism is to stand up to these
unwitty utterances,” she said.
One Classics undergraduate
remarked, “What a charmer.
Although I understand the point
he’s trying to get across, it’s
phrased in too violating a way, such
that it’s throwing out a whole load
of connotations about male sexual
dominance.”
The Financial Times editorial staff
could not be reached for
comment about the
content of Lane
Fox’s column.
a bad reputation for being too expensive for
many students.”
According to information sent out by the JCR
to students, Exeter has the highest catering
charge in Oxford by a margin of £116 per term
and according to recent OUSU statistics it is the
second most expensive college for students
living in. It is estimated that, with the catering
charge factored in, the cost of eating in hall for
someone living in is around £13 a day.
The JCR information also said that Exeter is
ranked bottom in Oxford for Living Cost
satisfaction according to the ‘Oxford Student
Barometer’, making general satisfaction over
30% lower than the average.
Lucy McCann, a first year at Exeter said, “I’ve
spoken to many Exeter students who’ve told
me that had they known about the catering
charge, they wouldn’t have applied to the
college; I certainly wouldn’t have myself.
“Not only is the charge unfair, it’s a massive
access issue for the college.”
The protests are expected to continue until
the end of term.

5. Oxford MP criticises pro-life adverts on Oxford buses
LIFE pregnancy centre reported to Advertising Standards after counsellor links abortion to risk of breast cancer
Joe Hill
21.2.14 news_5
ANDREW SMITH MP has added his voice to criti-
cisms of the charity LIFE after a counsellor for
the pro-life group linked abortion to breast
cancer in an Oxford advice clinic. Smith says in
this week’s Cherwell that he has reported the
charity to the Advertising Standards Agency
for “giving the unrealistic impression that LIFE
is offering impartial counselling.”
In a report by sexual health charity Brook,
it emerged that the counsellor at the LIFE CPC
(Crisis Pregnancy Centre) told an undercover
reporter, “The only other thing that has been
reported with quite strong evidence is the in-
crease in the possibility of breast cancer fol-
lowing termination of the pregnancy.”
This is despite the fact that a 2008 report
from the Royal College of Obstetricians and
Gynaecologists concluded that, “induced abor-
tion is not associated with an increase in breast
cancer risk.”
The same Oxford counsellor is also recorded
as telling a woman, “It is possible that you will
be on your own when you abort your baby, you
know, possibly in the toilet, that’s what usually
happens,” which Anne Scanlan, spokesperson
for LIFE, has since described as “ill-advised,”
adding, “if this counsellor was not asked about
that and offered it up without prompt, then
that is against our policy.”
CPCs such as the LIFE Oxford Centre, which
has advertised on Oxford buses, are intended
to only give advice and are independent of the
NHS. Consequently they are unregulated by
the same standards as the health services. LIFE
themselves state on their website, in response
to a Telegraph article that revealed many simi-
lar practices in CPCs, “There is a time and a
place for discussing the potential health conse-
quences of abortion... but this must be strictly
evidence based.”
Simon Blake OBE, Chief Executive of Brook
said, “It is simply immoral and unacceptable
to masquerade as a service that helps clients
make decisions through exploring choices,
when the reality is – as this report based on
young women’s experience shows – at some
CPCs you will get a mixture of misinformation,
coercion, and fright tactics”.
LIFE claims on their website that they give
“as much practical, financial, and emotional
support as is necessary to help them bring
their pregnancy to term.” Although unregu-
lated by health commissioners, they are still
subject to the British Association for Counsel-
ling and Psychotherapy’s Ethical Framework,
which states that, “Practitioners should not
allow their professional relationships with
clients to be prejudiced by any personal views
they may hold.”
Sarah Pine, OUSU Woman’s Officer, pointed
to other available resources in her response to
the report, “Women are only free if they have
control over their own bodies. Reproductive
rights are crucial because they enable women
to gain independence from their partners, and
have a life outside of childbearing and rearing.
Groups that intentionally mislead women in
order to prevent them from accessing
these services are making decisions
for them. We can do better than that.
“OUSU’s Student Advice Service
is completely non-directive, and
so won’t tell anyone what is the best
choice for them. If anyone is con-
cerned about unplanned pregnancy,
we can outline what the options
are and how to go about them,
and leave the choice up to
the student. You can reach
them at advice@ousu.
org.”
LIFE told Cherwell, “We
are investigating the inci-
dent and will take appro-
priate action.”
Brook has called for a
full scale redevelopment
of the CPC service.
History special subjects restricted
THE HISTORY FACULTY has cut the number of
Special Subjects open to the largest number of
students. Only three subjects will be
“24-capped”, offering up to 24 places, the
maximum number for Special Subjects.
Special Subject options for historians are
decided using a balloting process, where each
student registers three choices for the paper,
one of which must be a course with 24 places,
the largest number available.
Dr Andrea Hopkins, History Faculty
Administrative Officer, explained, “Because so
many of the most popular subjects have a cap
of 8 or 16, we have to hold a ballot to determine
which students can study them. The students
must therefore give two other alternate Special
Subject choices in the event that they are
unsuccessful in the ballot. One of these must
be for a subject with a large cap – 24.”
However, the three Special Course options
capped at 24 this year are all either ancient or
early modern history. As a result, some
students expressed concerns over being forced
to choose a Special Subject option that falls
outside their area of interest.
Dr Sue Doran, Senior Research Fellow in
History at Jesus College, pointed out that the
problem with uncapped subjects, “has been an
issue for many years.”
Dr Robin Briggs, Senior Research Fellow and
Lecturer in Modern History at All Souls, stated,
“the situation would indeed be rather
ridiculous, if the only available second choices
were in a period very few students would
naturally opt for.”
In addition, other Special Subjects were
dropped altogether, although one option on
Nazi Germany, for which some historians had
been learning German in preparation, has
since been reinstated by the History Faculty.
A historian at Exeter commented, “I luckily
wasn’t one of the ones left in the lurch when
the Nazi Germany paper was briefly called off,
however there is a disappointing lack of choice
in the so-called Special Subjects, and it is a
shame that whole areas of history, such as
gender, social and cultural, have been excluded
from the capped subjects.”
Dr Briggs further commented, “The reason
for the caps is simply that there are not enough
tutors for some courses. That tends to vary
from year to year as well, because particular
academics take research leave, something that
has become more of a problem now there are so
many schemes for extended leave. So there
could be particular bottlenecks in any given
year.”
Dr Hopkins also pointed out that, “in 2013-14,
215 students got into their first choice subjects,
and 76 had to go into another subject.” She
went on to say, “the percentage is that 74% got
into their first choice subject.”
One second year historian said, “After your
first and second choices you have to go through
a reserve list of another three choices before
you get left with your 24-capped option. That
means you’ve got five chances before you have
to do something you’re not particularly
interested in. Although they’re called special
subjects, they’re really just normal subjects.
There shouldn’t be such a fuss.”
Wadham JCR electronics trashed
STUDENTS AT WADHAM COLLEGE awoke on
Monday morning to find that expensive items
of electronic equipment in their JCR had been
damaged.
Wires in the TV and every console had been
pulled with enough force to break, and a
projector donated to the college by a Fellow
rendered unresponsive. Several thousand
pounds worth of damage is thought to have
been done.
SU President Anya Metzer said of the incident,
“On Monday it was discovered that various
pieces of equipment in our JCR had been
broken, including expensive new electronics.
Thankfully, the dedicated and patient IT team,
together with our Tech Officer Sam, were able
to fix everything.
“The idea that this may have been external
vandalism has not been ruled out, and I am
working with the Dean and other College
officials to try and get to the bottom of the
matter. College have been sympathetic to the
fact that even if this was caused by a student it
is not reflective of the attitudes of the SU in any
way.”
No culprits have yet been identified but
college staff are reviewing CCTV footage to
gain a clearer picture of who might be
responsible.
One Wadham undergraduate, who wished to
remain anonymous, speculates that those who
did the damage “were probably just drunk,
although there hadn’t been a bop or anything
that night.”
In an email sent to the whole Wadham SU,
Metzer urged students to consider the impact
of misuse of communal property on relations
with the college. She said, “The SU are in the
middle of crucial negotiations about rent and
the rights of suspended students. Acting like
reckless and spoilt children makes lobbying
College on these things extremely difficult;
how can we urge the Domestic Bursar and
Dean to take our views seriously, when we can’t
be trusted with communal consoles and
electronics.”
Wadham JCR is currently in the process of
lobbying for the right of rusticated students to
continue using college as well as faculty
librariesduringtheirsuspension.Negotiations
concerning living costs follow protests by
Wadham students in 2008, led by then-
president Leonora Sagan, who claimed that
living costs at Wadham had risen 46 per cent in
six years, “far out of line with national interest
rates.”
Commenting on the trashing of equipment
one Wadham student said, “It’s a shame, I
wonder how can people be so irresponsible in a
place like Wadham, when so many things are
always available to you, for free.”
A second year at Wadham told Cherwell, “I
think it’s disgusting that someone would do
that, especially given that the projector was a
gift.
“The JCR should be a space for all students to
enjoy and it’s really selfish that someone would
do damage to it like this.”
Students frustrated as faculty cuts “24-capped” Special Subjects
Nikita Makarchev
£3,000 of electronic equipment damaged in Wadham JCR
Izzy Mathie
At a recent advice surgery I held at St Hilda’s
especially for students, several students
raised the issue that the pro-life charity
LIFE has been advertising their counselling
services on buses in Oxford, giving the un-
realistic impression that LIFE is offering an
impartial counselling service for pregnant
women. I have asked the Advertising Stan-
dards Authority to investigate this and they
have begun making enquiries.
Having investigated the matter further I
was deeply concerned by reports that inves-
tigative undercover exercises conducted
by Brooks Advisory Centre have alleged
that inappropriate and biased advice
has been given to pregnant women by
LIFE. Women in need of counselling
have a right to expect a high quality
and compassionate service, with im-
partial and confidential advice and
support based on medical evi-
These reports are very wor-
rying and show the need for
proper regulation and over-
sight of centres offering preg-
nancy and abortion counsel-
ling. I have raised this issue
with the Secretary of State for
Health asking him to review
these services and bring them
within the responsibilities of
the Care Quality Commission.
have a life outside of childbearing and rearing.
Groups that intentionally mislead women in
order to prevent them from accessing
these services are making decisions
for them. We can do better than that.
“OUSU’s Student Advice Service
is completely non-directive, and
so won’t tell anyone what is the best
choice for them. If anyone is con-
cerned about unplanned pregnancy,
we can outline what the options
are and how to go about them,
and leave the choice up to
the student. You can reach
them at advice@ousu.
LIFE told Cherwell, “We
are investigating the inci-
dent and will take appro-
Brook has called for a
full scale redevelopment
Having investigated the matter further I
was deeply concerned by reports that inves-
tigative undercover exercises conducted
by Brooks Advisory Centre have alleged
that inappropriate and biased advice
has been given to pregnant women by
LIFE. Women in need of counselling
have a right to expect a high quality
and compassionate service, with im-
partial and confidential advice and
support based on medical evi-
dence.
These reports are very wor-
rying and show the need for
proper regulation and over-
sight of centres offering preg-
nancy and abortion counsel-
ling. I have raised this issue
with the Secretary of State for
Health asking him to review
these services and bring them
within the responsibilities of
the Care Quality Commission.
Andrew Smith, MP
“Deeply concerning”

6. 6_news
EDITORS Rowan Borchers (St Hilda's),April Peake (Lady Margaret Hall), editor@cherwell.org DEPUTY EDITORS Joe Iles, India Miller, Max Long, Samuele Volpe, Holly Whiston
NEWS EDITORS Jack Doyle,Joel Mann, Ella Richards, Lily Taylor (Broadcasting) SENIOR NEWS REPORTERS Rob Macquarie,Joel Nelson,Alex Stronell NEWS REPORTERS Rohan Arora, Charlie Atkins,Joshua Atkinson, Leandra Bias, Ellen Brewster,Will Carter, Emma Cookson,
Jingtian Chen, Xin Fan, Megan Gibbons, Tom Hall, Natalie Hallam, Jennie Han, Enyuan Khong, Stan Lalanne, Georgia Latham, Eleanor Maddocks, Nikita Makarchev, Izzy Mathie, Robyn Murphy, Nick Mutch, Tara Paterson, Rosie Peterson, Jack Prescott, Cameron Quinn,
Aadit Shankar,Zeena Valenti, Fay Watson COMMENT EDITORS Will Railton, Robert Walmsley, Harriet Smith-Hughes (Broadcasting) INVESTIGATIONS EDITOR Esther Hodges LIFESTYLE EDITORS Liz English, Erin Goldfinch,Alex Woolley (Broadcasting) CULTURE EDITORS Matt
Broomfield,Evy Cavalla,Sadie Levy-Gale (Broadcasting) FASHION EDITORS Leah Hendre,Kathryn Hodkinson,Niluka Kavanagh (Broadcasting) SPORT EDITORS Gruffudd Owen,Ben Szreter PUZZLES EDITOR Anthony Collins BROADCASTING EDITOR Patrick Beardmore FOOD
AND DRINK EDITOR TomWoodARTAND BOOKS EDITORS Mimi Goodall,Emma Simpson FILM AND TV EDITORS Marcus Balmer,Joel Casey STAGE EDITORS Emma Hewitt,GeorginaWilson MUSIC EDITORS HelenThomas,En Liang Khong DEPUTY COMMENT EDITORS Jack Davie,
Conor Dinan, Alice King, Nick Mutch, Vandana Venkatesh DEPUTY LIFESTYLE EDITORS Amelia Anderson, Chloe Ingersent, Sara Semic DEPUTY BROADCASTING EDITOR Tess Colley DEPUTY FASHION EDITORS Rebecca Borthwick, Nam Phuong Dinh DEPUTY SPORT EDITORS
Elliot Chester, Chris Knowles PHOTO EDITOR Stephanie Sy-Quia ILLUSTRATOR Sage Goodwin NIGHT LAWYER Jo Lyall BUSINESS MANAGER Robin Askew BUSINESS TEAM Holly Jackson, Rohan Arora, Emma Lipczynski
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7 St Aldates, Oxford OX1 3BS. We reserve the right to edit letters for length and clarity.
Published by OSPL ©2013 Printed by: Mortons Print Ltd.
Cherwell
21.2.14
Almost half of UK graduates cannot find work six months after graduation, but Oxford alumni fare better
Alex Stronell
Future’s bright for Oxonians despite national trend
TWO IN FIVE GRADUATES nationally remain un-
employed six months after leaving university,
with 25% still seeking work one year after gradu-
ating.
However, Oxford graduates appear to have
bucked the national trend, with only 6% not in
employment or further study six months on, ac-
cording to 2012 statistics.
The survey, conducted by totaljobs.com in De-
cember 2013, also found that 44% of graduates
regret not studying a more vocational degree.
Totaljobs.com graduate director Mike Fetters
commented, “Despite the economic upturn,
graduates are still struggling to find work after
university. Our research shows that many grad-
uates are starting to wonder if they should have
studied for a more vocational qualification as
more effective route to employment”.
He continued, “Although a degree is an essen-
tial qualification for some industries, school
leavers need to think more carefully about
which route to employment is best for them as
some may be more suited to an apprenticeship
scheme”.
A spokesperson for the University of Oxford
told Cherwell, “Figures from the end of 2012
tell us that 94% of Oxford leavers are either
employed or in further study six months after
graduating – and on average over the last 20
years the unemployment rate for Oxford gradu-
ates has stayed between 5% and 7%”.
The spokesperson continued, “Oxford’s Ca-
reers Service is ahead of most other university
careers services offices in providing resources
for students to get valuable work experience
while studying, and in supporting their career
goals”.
However, Oxford graduates appear less affect-
ed by the national trend favouring vocational
subjects, with teaching and health & social care
the most popular career destinations for Oxo-
nians, despite the university offering few voca-
tional courses.
Website Student Beans published a seper-
ate survey concluding that the top priority of
more than half of UK students is to find work
this summer – 27% seeking summer work, and
24% looking for employment following gradu-
ation.
Commenting on the results, James Eder,
Founder of Student Beans, said, “Priorities are
shifting and students are looking to make the
most of the time-off in the summer. The op-
portunity to get valuable work experience and
a CV boost is there. Students now want to take
action to increase their chances in the job mar-
ket upon graduation and a holiday sometimes
has to take a backseat. Not to mention trying
to recoup a little extra spending money for the
university year ahead.”
One Hertford geographer told Cherwell, “It
seems nice to know that Oxonians are largely
shielded from the unemployment situation,
but an economic climate in which nearly half
of all graduates are unable to find work cannot
be healthy.
“They say you need a degree to get anywhere
in life nowadays; it seems at the moment even
that won’t”.
Totaljobs.com graduate director Mike Fetters
concluded, “Graduates need to prepare them-
selves for the fact that it may take them a few
months longer than they thought to find the
job they want.
“Though the job hunting process can be
long, graduate jobs are incredibly rewarding”.
“Fireball” device part of campaign against UK recruitment offices
Alex Stronell
New IRA claims responsibility for Oxford bomb
MORE DETAILS HAVE EMERGED about the suspi-
cious package sent to the Armed Forces Recruit-
ment Office on St Giles last Thursday. The device
was a “crude but viable” anti-personnel weapon
containing with black powder, according to the
university.
A spokesperson for the Oxford University Of-
ficers’ Training Corps (OUOTC) told Cherwell,
“The devices in question represented crude but
viable anti-personnel weapons, sent to recruit-
ment offices at four locations around the coun-
try, including Oxford”.
“They were sent to recruitment offices in A5
jiffy bags, and contained black powder. The ef-
fect of ignition would not have been an explo-
sion, but a fireball targeted at whoever opened
the package”.
The news comes after Scotland Yard con-
firmed that a group believed to be the New IRA
claimed responsibility for the devices sent to
recruiting offices around the South of England
on 12 and 13 February. The Irish News published
a statement attributed to the New IRA reading,
“The IRA claims responsibility for the explosive
devices that were sent to British armed forces
recruitment centres in England.
It concluded, “Attacks will continue when
and where the IRA see fit.”
A spokesperson for Scotland Yard said, “We
are aware of the claim of responsibility for the
devices that were sent to Army recruitment cen-
tres in England last week.
“The claim was received on Saturday Febru-
ary 15 by a Northern Irish media outlet using a
recognised codeword. The claim was allegedly
made on behalf of the ‘IRA’”.
The OUOTC spokesperson clarified, “The pack-
ages aroused suspicion from the outset as they
had Republic of Ireland postmarks, meaning
detection was likely. The Army’s alert status is
currently at ‘substantial’, meaning we are at a
heightened alert, in anticipation of any further
threats”.
The Official IRA’s armed stockpile was decom-
missioned in 2010, but a number of splinter
groups have persisted with dissident activities.
It is understood that the current New IRA was
formed after the merger of two such groups in
2012.
The OUOTC spokesperson said, “All staff at
Falklands House [where the Oxford University
Officer Training Corps, Air Squadron and Royal
Naval Unit conduct training] are aware of the
relevant evacuation procedures should a simi-
lar package or device be discovered on site”.
Scotland Yard urged the public to remain
vigilant and report suspicious activity or behav-
iour to their Anti-Terrorist Hotline.
Joel Nelson
Students protest Oxford investments
STUDENTS RALLIED outside the Radcliffe Cam-
era last Friday in a further attempt to limit uni-
versity investment in fossil fuels.
The rally has been accompanied by the pas-
sage of motions in 11 JCRs and MCRs. The cam-
paign was backed by Oxford East MP Andrew
Smith, and is a continuation of the protests
against British Gas which took place in Novem-
ber of last year.
Across the UK universities, UCL, Glasgow and
Imperial College London were the target of stu-
dent protests. Participants held marches, ral-
lies and petition presentations, as part of Fossil
Free Friday, intended to pressure authorities to
alter their investment patterns.
JCRs motions have noted findings by the
Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change
(IPCC) that 60-80% of fossil fuels must be left in
the ground in order to avoid “dangerous” cli-
mate change.
The campaign plans to meet with the univer-
sity’s Socially Responsible Investment Review
Committee in 7th week. A seminar is also being
held next Wednesday at St. Hilda’s where a uni-
versity spokesperson will explain their stance
on divestment.
James Rainey, who helped organise the rally,
commented, “By planning to fully exploit their
reserves, fossil fuel companies are behaving in
a socially irresponsible way which undermines
the future of students, and hence we do not
believe that the university or colleges can con-
tinue to invest their endowments with them”.
He went on, “At our event on Friday we tried
to raise the profile of our campaign, which is
fully supported by 11 common rooms and the
OUSU council. It was great that so many people
turned out in spite of the miserable weather,
showing how strongly students and Oxford
residents feel about fossil fuel divestment”.
Beth Jones, Jesus College JCR Green rep,
commented, “I am pleased to see the start of
progressive action to rectify the university’s
current policy of investing in such damaging
fuels.”
She said, “There are greener investment al-
ternatives that rallies, such as this one, draw at-
tention to and I hope that Fossil Fuel Friday has
successfully sent a message that there is a genu-
ine desire for change among the student body.”
Campaigners call for divestment from fossil fuel companies in Radcliffe Square

7. Joe Iles talks Ireland,
individuality and
illegal downloads
with The Undertones’
Feargal Sharkey
PROFILE
I
f you met Feargal Sharkey in the street, you
wouldn’t realise that he once fronted a
sweaty, angsty rock band from a village in
Northern Ireland. Tall, thin and impeccably
dressed in a striking blue suit, he would fit in at
a corporate board meeting, not a seething
mosh-pit. Nevertheless, he exudes a distinctive
irreverence which marks him out as something
more than your regular businessman, and it’s
this audacious confidence that has
characterised Sharkey’s time in the music
industry.
Sharkey has had an unusual musical career,
progressing from successful frontman, to
chart-topping solo artist, to record label
executive, to government consultant, to head
of UK Music. But he remains best known for his
work with The Undertones, especially ‘Teenage
Kicks’.
Was writing music something he always
envisaged doing? “No not at all. The idea that
five boys from Derry, Northern Ireland, would
be able to write their own songs, get a record
deal and have the opportunity to perform on a
programme like Top of the Pops was fantasy.
Total, total fantasy. But for some strange reason,
we managed to pull it off. In actual fact, The
Undertones started out of a conversation, a
couple of blokes deciding they were gonna be
in a band. The minor detail to take care of were
that nobody had any instruments, but it didn’t
matter because nobody knew how to play them
anyway. One bloke wanted to be the drummer,
one guy wanted to play the guitar, and the
bassist became the bassist because that’s the
job nobody else wanted to do.”
With no musical ability, no musical
experience and no history of youth music in
Northern Ireland, how did The Undertones
make it so big? “Well, when I sit back and think
about it, I’ve come to realise that maybe it was
because we were quite cantankerous, bloody-
minded and very determined. In Ireland there
was this wonderful, wonderful tradition – back
in the 1960s and 70s, whilst creativity was
pouring out of Liverpool: The Beatles, blues
records – in Ireland we hung onto this rather
bizarre thing called ‘Showbands’ which were,
shallwesay,ratherpoorcaricaturesof American
western country acts. They would play gigs in
the pubs in the evenings, and specialise in
playing whatever was in that week’s Top 40. So
they were sort of human jukeboxes. And what
we wanted to do instinctively was something
completely different from everybody else. The
key was that we wrote our own songs, which
was actually a pretty cunning and devious thing
to be doing in that environment. It was all
about causing a bit of a stir. The initial plan was
to make a record, and then break up, just to
prove that we were better than everyone else.”
This sounds like a very romantic version of
music making. Teenage boys hanging around
in Northern Ireland in the 80s, cause some
trouble, get a lucky break and suddenly find
themselves played on radios across the world.
Nevertheless, I get the impression that in a post-
X-Factor world, this sort of story is increasingly
rare. I wonder whether the likes of hit machines
like One Direction have changed the face of
music. “Not in the least. Those kinds of acts have
always existed, and particularly in the UK. It’s
quite an extraordinary thing about the British
music industry, that we can have a Top 40, and
somewhere in the chart will be an act that owes
its whole existence to the knowledge, skill and
expertise of one particular executive in the
country. But we still have the ability for some
buggers living in the far reaches of the United
Kingdom to go and make a record and end up at
the top.”
I’m sceptical about Sharkey’s take on the
trajectory of modern music. I ask him about
technology. Is the abundance of technology,
synthesisers, sequencing programmes and the
like having an impact on the industry as a
whole? “Technology has democratised
creativity, it really has. My son last week turned
up with this little Akai sequencer, maybe a foot
and a half long, a foot wide, it’s got pads on it,
little mini keyboard – it’s unbelievably brilliant.
It’s shockingly fantastic what that little thing
can do.”
Does music made by pushing preset buttons
hamper creativity? “It’s hampered creativity in
as much as the typewriter or IBM hampered
creative writing. It won’t turn us into
Shakespeare. Has technology made music
accessible for more people? Absolutely no
question. But having some sort of raw talent,
some innate ability – it really does help.”
Yet there are many talented people in the
world who will never make it. I wonder what it
is that sets the successful apart from the
frustrated. Is it perhaps charisma, with music a
want to do this job.”
Sharkey speaks of himself as a ‘geek’. Once a
TV salesman, he says he still gets huge pleasure
in fiddling about with bits of technology. I ask if
this ‘geekishness’ is an asset when it comes to
creativity. “When I sit and think about it the
things that really move and inspire me,
ultimately you’re talking about an individual
that’s been able to look at the most mundane,
ordinary little aspect of life and just see it from
a completely different angle. ‘Digging’ by
Seamus Heaney is the perfect example. Just
thinking about something that hundreds of
thousands of people in Scotland and Northern
Ireland have done for thousands of years, he
manages to look at it from a perspective that
turns it into an incredibly evocative, poignantly
sad moment and then with the very last line
turns it around. Fucking hell. You clearly have
to be a bit mad and a bit weird to think about
life in those kind of terms.”
But Sharkey is not just a creative. At the age of
30, having achieved his goal of a record with
The Undertones and moved from there onto a
successful solo-career, he decided to make the
transition to the other side of the desk and get
involved behind the scenes of the industry.
What motivated him to do so? “All my friends
just sat in the pub on a Friday night and went,
completely out
of your mind – you’re doing this thing that
millions of people want to do across the world,
something people are desperate to do. The
thing is you don’t want to wake up on day the
wrong side of 45, with a receding hair line, a
pony tail and still be in the music industry! It’s
not a good look, it’s certainly not a good
ambition for a middle-aged man.”
Sharkey was instrumental in a number of live
music campaigns, removing the bureaucracy
surrounding licensing laws. I ask him about the
future of the music industry. Do illegal
downloads pose a huge problem? “Yes. We need
to pause and think, because there’s far too
much bullshit discussion on all sides about
copyright, and we need to stop and reflect upon
what we want to achieve. Take journalism. Does
society feel that as the author of an article, the
journalist should be entitled to claim
ownership of the article, to stop someone else
taking the work and putting their name at the
top of it? I would have thought society would
have thought this was a decent thing to do. This
is what happened after the French Revolution
and is the foundation of copyright in Europe. If
you take copyright away, for music, you
abandon market-based society. If people don’t
pay for it you need the government to back it
up. In the modern world, you have to extend
this to TV, film, journalism. But if we like
content, if we like well researched,
knowledgeable, finely crafted and created
content, at some point we’re going to have to
start paying for it.”
But are we going to? Sharkey remains
unblinkingly positive. “I’m hugely optimistic
about mankind. The next generation will make
the right decision”. Only time will tell if he’s
right.
We were
cantankerous,
bloody-minded and
very determined
“
with The Undertones’
personality-based
industry? “Most
musicians I know – it’s
a huge simplification,
but like most satire,
actually based on truth – are
actually very insecure. I
suspect there’s hours of
therapy in the idea. But a lot
of musicians I know get up
on the stage and
become people I don’t
know.” Is this true of
himself?
“Absolutely,
completely.
You have to
be slightly
psychotic to
want to do this job.”
‘What?
Are you
insane? You’re
completely out
Technology has
democratised
creativity
“

8. COMMENT
Yes!
I
n 2012, I arrived back for my second
year in Oxford to a perfect storm
of bumbling contractors, inac-
cessible pathways and JCB-branded
accommodation. Every morning I
awoke to the sound of someone drill-
ing, seemingly into my headboard.
Every afternoon the fire alarm would
malfunction and force us out onto
the street.
Ah, what memories. In compensa-
tion, we were given a 50 per cent rent
reduction for a term and a half. Com-
pared with Exeter’s demands, this
was a pretty staggering victory.
Colleges are businesses – as much
as they would be loathe to admit it.
I’m a Pembrokian and financial mis-
management recently brought us to
the brink of bankruptcy (and coined
the timeless pun: PemBroke). Now,
the college is solvent, successful, and
has just built a £30 million new de-
velopment.
But it has come at a cost. Rent rates
are some of the highest in Oxford,
there’s a compulsory meal plan and
room banding is done via a free mar-
ket system, rather than a ballot. It’s
one of the reasons why Pembroke
has the largest private school intake
of any Oxford college (not Christ
Church as some are led to believe)
with only 46.2 per cent state accept-
ance over the last three years. That’s
bad on paper and in practice, but
Pembroke is now financially stable.
Exeter, like Pembroke, has limited
financial endowments (£48,763,000)
and assets (£68,650,000) and cannot
be as generous as St John’s, Christ
Church or Queen’s. Most colleges
are still self-regulating and rely on
financial sustainability.
If colleges are businesses, students
are customers. You pay for your uni-
versity experience and you expect a
certain level of service in return. At
Exeter you are paying exponentially
more than a St John’s student for an
experience that is likely to be similar
or inferior, and we shouldn’t be ex-
pected to passively accept that.
Striking is an effective means of
pressurising colleges, but not be-
cause it will significantly impact
their financial yield. The Exeter
hall-strikers have already paid their
battels with the extortionate £840
catering charge, so the strike is a
symbolic gesture. It is equivalent to
Tweeting angrily at a company’s cus-
tomer services department.
We achieved the 50 per cent rent
reduction at Pembroke because the
college feared negative publicity,
student dissatisfaction, future years
living out and myriad other con-
cerns. So the Exeter student demon-
stration is not futile – it will serve as
a mass consumer feedback session
and the message will be communi-
cated publically.
While Pembroke’s rent reduction
was negotiated without a strike,
Exeter’s JCR is in a strong position.
A demonstration of student dissat-
isfaction, with support from OUSU
and covered across the university
might not banish the £840 charge
with the flick of a wand, but it
strengthens their negotiating posi-
tion enormously.
Their JCR President has an arsenal
of objective data and student feed-
back at his disposal. If I were seeking
a rent freeze, then that would fill me
with positivity. It is unlikely that all
demands will be met but the protest
will force action.
Cherwell
on the go
App available for
iPhone and Android
Are boycotts against col
Following Exeter JCR’s decision to boycott the college hall, Nick
Reimagining the Ukrainian flag...

9. No!
V
iva la revolución! For many,
the liberal sentiment behind
the chants of Oxford students
is undermined by their affiliation
with a university which represents
everything wrong with the British
class system. Setting this small irony
aside for a moment, Exeter does seem
to have a problem that needs solving.
An £840 catering charge on top of
payment for meals everyday, is exces-
sive. Exeter JCR tells us that the aver-
age student spends around £13.00
a day eating in hall, with the sur-
charge making it the most expensive
undergraduate college. It ranks bot-
tom among colleges for living cost
satisfaction, and according to OUSU,
it is the second most expensive col-
lege in terms of student living.
All this is likely to have an adverse
impact on access and make the day
to day lives of students more prob-
lematic.
When JCRs feel that the college has
treated them unjustly, they should
certainly protest. In this instance, a
boycott seems to be the simplest and
most obvious method for demon-
strating discontent. However, I don’t
think that it will have the intended
results.
This is because Exeter’s catering
charge is paid upfront. Over an eight
week term, students have to pay
£5.00 a day even if they don’t eat in
hall. If the aim of the boycott is to
withhold money from the college to
force those in charge to acquiesce in
students’ demands through finan-
cial necessity then it is important to
remember that Exeter students have
already handed over the money. The
JCR is probably wasting its time.
But even when boycotts are suc-
cessful, this is undercut by a sense
of collusion with the enemy. In 2011,
St Hugh’s boycotted formal hall be-
cause of a ban on bringing in alco-
hol. The price of tickets was raised to
include a moderate amount of drink
provided by the college.
The boycott worked, the ticket
price was lowered. But then the JCR
released a statement that said it
had accepted the offer “in the spirit
of compromise”. Not because they
thought it was the right thing to do,
but because it didn’t tread on the
toes of their superiors.
“Compromise” – a code for aban-
doning your convictions to accom-
modate those of your oppressors.
Then again, perhaps the term “op-
pressors” is too strong a term to de-
scribe people that are charging you
a bit too much for a three course din-
ner.
The fact remains that boycotts are
the safest form of civil disobedience.
There’s no law against not attending
hall. Or not riding the bus to work.
Or not buying Nestlé because you
disagree with their business practic-
es. As protests go, it’s pretty safe. Af-
ter all, it’s not like you’ll get beaten,
or “killed, or worse expelled!” It is a
kind of protest that shows your opin-
ion without kicking up too much of a
fuss. It works on the assumption that
it’s best to play by the rules.
If I were a student at Exeter Col-
lege then I’d call off the boycott in
favour of a more radical approach. I’d
wait for my battels to come in next
term and I wouldn’t pay them. They
college can’t send everyone down,
after all. There would definitely be
a financial incentive to listen to the
JCR then.
Cherwell
As Cherwell Editor, one inevitably frets about
the legacy of a term in charge. This week’s front
page might have established this term’s team
as the most revolutionary yet – not for the qual-
ity of the journalism, but for the first time the
word ‘Fuck’ was included in a front page head-
line.
There’s been debate among
Exeter students over whether
#FTCC (‘Fuck the Catering
Charge’) is an appropriate
hashtag for their hall strike.
While most students adopted
the slogan, a forlorn minority
cling to its feeble alternative,
#CTCC (‘Cut the Cater-
ing Charge’). At
present, the dis-
cussion remains
entirely academic – alas, on Twitter #FTCC re-
mains dominated by the Franco-Thai Chamber
of Commerce.
But the dispute raises a tricky question: what
is the most effective way for students to com-
plain to the authorities, when the power bal-
ance is against them?
Inevitably, tension arises between under-
graduates’ desire to express their anger, and
knowledge that college has the ability to dean,
fine and send-down students. More important-
ly, does shouting obscenities in the front quad
gain the respect necessary for a successful pro-
test?
So far, Exeter’s SCR has responded to cam-
paigners with a combination of bemusement
and disdain. Hopefully in coming weeks they
will listen more closely to student qualms. But
it’s difficult to know whether the aggression
of students’ criticism will deter or encourage
change; as the campaign’s honeymoon period
ends, Exonians could find they have alienated
the decision makers.
The national charity LIFE “offers counselling
and support for anyone facing an unplanned
pregnancy, suffering the loss of a baby or
coping after abortion”. Yet the Oxford branch
has recently deviated from this stance (page 4).
The explicitly pro-life nature of the
organisation means that it will always be
vulnerable to exploitation by
individuals – and one cannot
begin to fathom how hard it
would be to police such a
national institution.
This editor does not wish
to condemn pro-life
ideology – every person has
the right to their own
beliefs. Furthermore, pro-
life charities can do
good. There are certainly
women who have been coerced into abortions
who LIFE could have helped. The fact that the
charity provides support for women after an
abortion is admirable – an example of how one
can set aside their beliefs to help another.
When acting appropriately, these
institutions can lessen the outside pressures
that could force a pregnant woman’s hand. But
the misrepresentation of the options available
to vulnerable women is abhorrent;
manipulatively dissuading someone from
having an abortion is as bad as forcing them go
ahead with the procedure.
What did this counsellor wish to achieve?
Scaring women by invoking the threat of
cancer would serve an immediate pro-life
purpose – but fear is not a reason to bring a
child into the world.
Institutions which, despite being pro-life,
wish to help women make an informed choice
can be positive forces. However, they should be
sure not to allow an ideological stance to
impact upon the service they offer.
Pro-life Prejudice
RIGHT
OF
REPLY
If you would like
to respond
to any of the
features in this
week's edition,
contact the
Comment
section at
comment@
cherwell.org
Cut the Fuck?
Since 1920
A
recent advice surgery I held at St Hilda’s
specifically for students brought for-
ward some important and interesting
issues – showing how students talking with
their MP can make a difference. Some of the
issues raised with me included the campaign
for the Living Wage to the menace of smoking
at hospital entrances.
Student participants of the OUSU’s Liv-
ing Wage Campaign came to see me discuss
the campaign and to let me know their view
that it should be extended across all univer-
sity departments and colleges, including all
subcontracted staff (e.g. cleaning staff) who
are often paid a lower rate. I fully support the
campaign and have raised this with the Uni-
versity’s Vice-Chancellor.
I also met with a student who raised con-
cerns that smokers are lining up just out-
side the entrance to hospital, meaning that
visitors and vulnerable patients entering
the building are in a thoroughfare of passive
smoking.
He made an interesting suggestion, based
on his experience of hospital services in Can-
ada, that smoking should be legally banned
within a fifteen metre radius of the hospi-
tal to prevent this occurring, which I have
since taken up with the Secretary of State for
Health.
Another important issue I have become in-
volved with is the campaign over restrictions
to student visas, after a number of concerned
students contacted me to express concerns
about the difficulty of acquiring visas for
study. I contributed to a debate in the House
of Commons on this, and regularly take up
the cases of individual constituents who con-
tact me about having visa difficulties.
I have also recently met with a campaigner
for fairer gambling who raised concerns with
me about the increased incidence and risk of
gambling amongst the student population.
I very much welcome student views on this,
and ideas on the best way of tackling the
problem.
Student voices can make a difference, as I
hope these examples show. It sadly remains
the case that eighteen to twenty four year
olds are less likely to vote than any other age
demographic, and this is a statistic including
a large number of students, which is a worry-
ing trend.
A number of the policies pursued by the
coalition government — the unprecedented
rise in tuition fees, and scrapping of the
Education Maintenance Allowance, policies
which have caused so much damage to a
generation of young people — show what can
happen when young people’s needs are mar-
ginalised in the democratic process, and they
accordingly don’t exercise their vote whether
through disillusionment, or for a variety of
other complex reasons.
I have always valued the contribution of
our students to the local quality of life and
vigour of political campaigning. As the City
and European Elections come into view – and
with individual electoral registration on the
horizon too – it is important to underline
that students can not only talk with me, but
be heard through local campaigning and by
exercising that most fundamental of demo-
cratic rights – their vote.
The MP’s View
Andrew Smith, MP for Oxford East
Student voices can make a
real difference
llege services effective?
Hilton and Billy Beswick consider its chances of success
comment_921.2.14
vulnerable to exploitation by
individuals – and one cannot
begin to fathom how hard it
would be to police such a
national institution.
to condemn pro-life
ideology – every person has
the right to their own
beliefs. Furthermore, pro-
There’s been debate among
Exeter students over whether
#FTCC (‘Fuck the Catering
Charge’) is an appropriate
hashtag for their hall strike.
While most students adopted
the slogan, a forlorn minority
cling to its feeble alternative,
#CTCC (‘Cut the Cater-
cussion remains

10. F
aeces has beguiled science for centu-
ries. Still widely used in agriculture as
a fertiliser, the stuff has been padded
into the soil for 8,000 years. It can even be
transformed into a culinary delight, as any-
one who has indulged in a cup of kopi luwak
will tell you: the £400-per-kilogram coffee
is famous for its preparation after passing
through the digestive system of a civet cat.
It seems that the humble turd has many
uses, but could it be coming soon to a hos-
pital near you? The technique called faecal
transplantation has gained popularity due
to several studies that assert its success.
The stomach-churning therapy has mainly
been indicated for cases of Clostridium dif-
ficile, a bacterial infection that leads to
diarrhoea, fever, and abdominal pain.
Whilst C. difficile infections can be
mild, in England and Wales alone, over
1,600 people died from C. difficile in
2012. But a faecal transplant to cure it?
The thought of consuming somebody's
poop may be difficult to stomach, but
its nauseating nature is key to its func-
tion. The principle is that “healthy” stools
can be used to recolonise the gut with
beneficial bacteria, which would out-
compete the C. difficile bacteria. It makes
scientific sense, as it is believed that anti-
biotics removing good bacteria may pro-
vide C. difficile with the perfect environ-
ment in which to thrive in the first place.
Dr. MacConnachie from Gartnavel Gen-
eral Hospital in Glasgow has carried out 20
faecal transplant procedures since 2003.
“UltimatelyallthepatientsI'vetreated,bar
one, have got rid of their C. difficile,” he said.
This huge success rate, albeit from
a small sample size, is not unheard
of. A study in America reported a
90% success rate across 100 patients.
The procedure involves mixing a rela-
tive’s stool sample in a household blender
with some salt water, and then filter-
ing the mixture through a coffee filter.
The fluid is then poured into the
stomach through a nasogastric tube,
which is inserted through the nose,
and passes into the stomach, where the
bacteria can repoopulate the bowels.
Now if your gut reaction to that was
sheer terror, then try not to crap yourself
when you find out that this transplant
may even be used to treat irritable bowel
syndrome, diarrhoea, and constipation.
The idea might be revolting to some,
but for others who suffer from such ill-
nesses, this may be a cheaper and more-
effective therapy with much less side ef-
fects, aside from maybe loss of dignity.
But now the question is – if a family mem-
ber becomes ill with C. difficile or irritable
bowel syndrome, would you give a crap?
For more medicine and science in
society, visit bangscience.org!
Richard Black: comparisons between
Israel and Apartheid are simplistic
Faecal Transplants
Marco Narajos
The Week in Tweets
All the big stories and opinions
from Oxford in 140 characters
Something to say? Tweet us at
@Cherwell_Online
10_comment 21.2.14
Bang!
The Science Column
The thought of con-
suming somebody's
poop may be difficult
to stomach, but its
nauseating nature
is key to its function
“
N
ext week, Palestine Societies on cam-
puses across the country will be host-
ing their annual event, ‘Israel Apartheid
Week’. Activities held during this time have
typically included proposed boycotts, shut-
ting down academic freedom and intimidating
public spectacles.
Yet despite the title ‘Israel Apartheid Week,’
the supporters of this event, mostly from the
Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions movement,
always fail to address what apartheid really
means. Apartheid has always meant the de-
liberate separation of peoples’ based on their
ethnic background, as practised by the racist
regime in South Africa. Israel has done nothing
of the sort, and the freedom enjoyed by Israel’s
large Muslim and Christian Arab minorities is
testament to this.
Furthermore, the boycotters have certainly
not done their homework. Boycotts in fact pro-
mote separation. They foster misunderstand-
ing, hostility and intransigence.
ManyOxfordstudentswillrememberGeorge
Galloway’s infamous walk out on ex-Oxford stu-
dent Eylon Aslan-Levy, on the dubious grounds
that he doesn’t debate with Israelis. Of course
this was a rather extreme incident, yet it is in
many ways the logical conclusion of a doctrine
which attacks co-operation between Israeli and
non-Israeli scientists, academics, businessmen
and artists. Whilst aiming to only target the
policies of the Israeli government, the outcome
has been that ordinary Israelis, regardless of
their political opinions, have been fair game
for boycotters. The irony is not lost that a move-
ment which aims to fight inequality and social
injustice actually promotes both. The boycott-
ers, in effect, endorse apartheid.
The boycott movement recently received
headlines over Scarlett Johansson’s work with
the Israeli company SodaStream. SodaStream
employs over 500 Palestinian workers at their
principal factory at Ma’ale Adumim in the West
Bank. Were the factory to be closed down (as
many boycotters have demanded), all of those
Palestinian workers would lose their superior
wages and working conditions and be forced to
enter the poorer job market in the Palestinian
Authority.
After Scarlett Johansson appeared in a recent
SodaStream advert, she was forced to end her
work with Oxfam. In her statement defending
her brave decision, Johansson stated that she
was “not only committed to the environment
but to building a bridge to peace between Israel
and Palestine, supporting neighbours working
alongside each other, receiving equal pay, equal
benefits and equal rights.”
She could not be more right. Anyone who
is serious about a peaceful resolution to the
Israeli-Palestinian conflict must understand
that in order for peace to be sustainable, Arabs
and Jews must work with each other, trade with
each other, talk to each other and ultimately
live with each other. Boycotts do nothing of the
sort – they drive the moderates on each side fur-
ther apart and in fact accelerate segregation.
The apartheid analogy has also been applied
to Israel’s security barrier. Whilst walls may sep-
arate, they can also save lives. It is not an insig-
nificant fact that the number of Israelis killed
in suicide bombings dropped significantly
after the erection of the security barrier in the
early 2000s.
Moreover, it is only in the ur-
banised areas that the fence
has been transformed into a
wall. Over 90% of the secu-
rity barrier is a fence. Be-
tween January 2000 and
July 2003, the height of
the Second Palestinian
Intifada, there were 73
suicide bombings in-
flicting over 2000 casu-
alties.
It was in this con-
text that the barrier
was constructed.
Since then,
there have
been 12 major
attacks. This
goes to show
the misrep-
resentation
of some of
the more
important
aspects of
Israel’s secu-
rity needs.
In my
o p i n i o n ,
there is
nothing
as odious as
comparing
the racist, to-
talitarian laws
of South Africa
to the difficult
but often nec-
essary security
measures im-
plemented by
the State of
Israel. Fred-
erik de Klerk, the man who jointly ended apart-
heid with Nelson Mandela, has said the same.
The Israeli people, like the Palestinian peo-
ple, have their own history. The trauma of the
past 66 years has solidified unending animos-
ity between two national narratives – both re-
telling the same series of events, but with very
different memories.
Anyone who tries to convince you that the
Arab-Israeli conflict is a simple moral issue is
deeply misguided. On that account alone, the
apartheid analogy is truly unhelpful.
As a student body, we all have a duty to nor-
malise discourse surrounding Israel. The po-
litical situation in Israel is deeply complicated
and there are no easy answers. But we cannot
deny that it is a thriving democracy with all the
diversity and freedom of expression one would
expect in any western European nation.
In no other country in the Middle East,
would you witness everything from Islamists
to secular Communists debating in the na-
tion’s parliament. The sciences, culture,
academia, business – all things at which
Israel excels – aspire to universal values
which transcend national differences.
These are not things that can be
simply boycotted. This is not the time
to call an entire country an apartheid
state. 2014 is the time to rethink Israel.
Richard Black is President of
the Israel Society and a
Lincoln student.
The boycotters,
in effect, endorse
apartheid
“

11. PUZZLES
Across
1. Up to bat in the right place to fold clothes
(2,3,6)
7. Spirit to write for someone else (5)
8. Assist in call for pillaging (7)
9. Cut it before unknown strictness (8)
13. Opened fire on quiet books (4)
14. Chief instigators disorientated a denser girl
(11)
15. Fixed income ligature (4)
16. Sperm in emulsion, with skin removed, leav-
ing fur (6)
Down
1. A frock enfolding daughter where she lives? (7)
2. Shower after time for entourage (5)
3. Finality I have in vegetable (6)
4. Music concerning goods assaults ears initially
(6)
5. Public notice on northward road leading to
God (6)
6. Ate rye, ground up, in restaurant (6)
9. Paul, say, got older and put on a play (6)
10. Goodbye to manservant on drug (6)
11. Accidental African note of Madagascar ini-
tially (6)
12. Hen and rat mangled up in eastern capital (6)
14. Make fun of cut of beef (3)
SUDOKU
Across
1. Keeping apart (11)
6. Agile (6)
7. In addition (4)
8. Family member (7)
9. Jinx (3)
12. (Of time) go by (6)
14. Mesopotamian river (6)
16. Famed psychologist (5)
18. Establishment (11)
Down
1. Ancient Indo-Iranian tongue
(8)
2. Star sign (6)
3. Small shells (8)
4. Neville Longbottom’s pet in
the Harry Potter series (4)
5. Shuckable shellfish (7)
10. Mimic (6)
11. Layer of Earth above mantle
(5)
13. Conclusion (3)
15. ____ the Terrible, infamous
tsar (4)
17. Flying saucer (3)
CHERWORDS
CRYPTIC CROSSWORD
Difficulty: Pipsqueak
QUICK CROSSWORD
The aim is to turn the word on the top step into the word on
the bottom step. On each step you must write a word which
is an anagram of the word above it, with the addition of one
new letter. The words must not be related to each other, so
pluralisations and verb inflections are forbidden. Proper
nouns are not permitted.
NUMBER CRUNCHER
75 25 10 6
485
DEFINE: ‘remoulade’
Which of these is the correct definition of remoulade?
(a) A traditional French turntable used for sharing food
(b) An arch or vault often found in mediaeval churches
(c) A sauce often served with finely sliced celeriac
ANAGRAM
I
I
C
S
N
A
O
O
T
L
Can you
make a 10-letter
word from these
letters?
+ – x ÷
Can you make
485 out of
these six num-
bers, using
only addition,
subtraction,
multiplication
and division?
53
nouns are not permitted.
Email Anthony Collins at puzzles@cherwell.org for clues or solutions

12. Cherwell says:
LIFESTYLE
Gunnar Klackenberg
Teddy Hall, 2nd Year
E&M
Eurovision fan in search
of equally cheesy romance
Chick-flick lover looking to
engineer a new romance
Friendly
Attentive
Babylove?
We have to admit this photogenic
couple are in need of a well-
timed photobomb, and the
bleach-haired clubber behind
them is happy to oblige, though
prior to this he seems to have
raided the wardrobe department
of the Lion King. The gentleman in
front appears to have both eyes on the
camera rather than the lovely laughing
lady at his side. Little does he know that
his ‘Blue Steel’ is being seriously
undermined by what looks like Slim
Shady on his holidays. The chances of a
modelling contract off the back of this
photo are slim.
Are you tired of being single and alone? Volunteer for a Blind Date at editor@cherwell.org
Anna Bazley
St Peter’s, 2nd Year
History & Politics
Charming
Thought-provoking
Baby Love.
LIFESTYLE
Eurovision fan in search
of equally cheesy romance
Chick-flick lover looking to
John
Evelyn
umour has it that those in the
lower Tablatures of student
journalism, who search
needlessly for a type of journalism which
stinks of arrogant self-gratification,
stumbled into a striking college, hoping
to Nazify the horrors of paying more for
food. Poor taste indeed! Much more
suitable would have been to compare the
charge to Victorian methods of food
distribution, or perhaps, in the interests
of sensationalism, giving the story a
Malthusian twist.
CRASH! CUMBLE! BANG! Deer to feed,
ample space to walk around submused in
their own ego, towering above the town
like they own the city, and yet unable to
contain their own ceilings from tumbling
to the ground. Perhaps the crumbling
plaster of a certain college’s hallowed
halls is a metaphor for the corrupt stories
emerging from within its own walls.
No more Pikey gossip this week. I’m fed
up of him. The gentleman doth protest too
much, methinks.
After a much censored recent
appearance of this publication’s most
distinguished members on the airwaves
of the Two Towers, Evelyn’s eyes almost
popped out of their soft sockets when
pictures emerged online of certain people
of great responsibility sipping pleasant
drinks while discussing music on the very
same waves.
A successful Rutty, outLandish ‘rap’ on
the same waves is of great shock to my
own musical sensibility, which situates
calm over volume, emotion over lust,
righteousness over subversion.
Bartholomew’s boat rowed out into the
deep seas and encountered much
murkyness in the waters, troubled,
lurking, castigated. Three Men in a Boat or
life of Pi? Charon crossed the river Styx,
constipated, Zephyr blew the wind,
mellow.
Oh and that Mann got chocolated in the
face.
Hit me with some hot goss,
John Evelyn
Got gossip? Email
gossipevelyn@gmail.com
with the juicy details!
Those who know me would probably be a bit
surprised to see me truly enjoying a vegetar-
ian meal while having my stereotypes about
everything from religion to OUSU being
challenged.
Anna is maybe not going to be the one
for me (and apparently neither am I for her,
given my contempt for Eurovision), but is
nevertheless an incredibly intelligent, enter-
taining and self-confident woman.
We didn’t seem to have much more than a
passion for deep fried Mars bars in common.
However, our many differences provided for
a much more interesting dinner conversa-
tion.
Moving on to the nearby pub for a pint, I
instantly fell into the pitfall of trying to com-
plement her for not needing to show ID (I’m
not always a smooth man).
Luckily, we soon found a bit more com-
mon ground in our dislike of Bridge, and
Anna made me realize there is more to the
Oxford club scene.
Overall, a great night with good fun.
Arriving at Kazbar to meet Gunnar I pan-
icked when I saw the venue had been booked
out by people in black tie. We hurried to
Location 2, an amazing Indian restaurant
which Gunnar recommended.
Culinary credentials established, I en-
quired into his tastes, but my heart sank
when he revealed he hated Eurovision. At
that moment I knew there would be no sec-
ond date. Despite this fatal blow the conver-
sation flowed, Gunnar almost redeeming
himself by listening politely to my enthusi-
astic defence of OUSU and tales of working
in KFC. This led to a discussion of politics in
the UK and Sweden and the other taboo din-
ner conversation of religion, via his year in
Egypt, and the hardships of Harry Potter be-
ing banned in my Christian household.
Gunnar then proved his excellent taste
once more, introducing me to the Half
Moon, where we coerced a bemused patron
into taking our awkward photo.
We parted with him promising to text me
on his first night in Babylove.
We have to admit this photogenic
couple are in need of a well-
raided the wardrobe department
of the Lion King. The gentleman in
front appears to have both eyes on the
camera rather than the lovely laughing
lady at his side. Little does he know that
his ‘Blue Steel’ is being seriously
undermined by what looks like Slim
Shady on his holidays. The chances of a
modelling contract off the back of this
photo are slim.
Are you tired of being single and alone? Volunteer for a Blind Date at editor@cherwell.org
Cringe
Clubber
PSHE at my secondary school was wholesome
and happy. Our blindly optimistic PSHE teacher
drew some concentric circles on the floor. The
centre, sickeningly, represented our soul and
we were expected to indicate how ‘close’ to us a
respectable adult male would have to be before
we invited them to exchange bodily fluids. Hov-
ering ditheringly over the diagram, I eventu-
ally put a thoughtful cross in the penultimate
ring. Prince Charming, when he finally arrived,
would be my best friend. It has always been a
matter of trust – I knew that ’cos Billy Joel said so.
Six years later, I couldn’t tell you exactly when
I mislaid my gentle sentimentality. But it’s now
wandering the murky marshes of Small Expec-
tations, pursued by a taunting pack of lustful
wildebeests. Casual sex is fun, and the high
turn-over of willy doesn’t require us to waste
time getting to know the willy’s owner. Objec-
tification is welcome; participants are polite,
straightforward, and gone in the morning in a
puff of spunk. But this week I found out just how
little personal trust is required of my conquests
before I entrust them to my quivering groin.
I picked Sexy Simon up on a girly night out; he
was fun, suave, and had great hair. I was brain-
dodderingly, clit-poundingly pissed, but to my
delight succeeded in luring him through our
front door. Stopping suddenly halfway through
the delicious unwrapping process, I slurred in
panic, “Where my keys?! Oh for fucksh shake, I
losht them where ARE theeey?!” Sexy Simon pad-
ded behind me bewildered as I uprooted house-
plants. He gently pointed out that I must’ve
used them to get into the house, but I was in no
mood for reason.
I suddenly halted my crazed hunt and fixed an
accusatory eye upon my one night stand. “YOU.
You stole them!” Of course, I thought smugly.
The bastard thinks he can take me for a ride, in
more ways than one. “Prick! Give them ba- oh...”
My keys glinted maliciously from underneath
the doormat. Sheepish, I scooped them up. Then
we trotted upstairs and fired up the engines
again. Unscrupulous thief or gallant lover? Does
it matter? All roads lead to orgasm. And in the
morning Sexy Simon left in a puff of spunk.
Creaming Spires
R

13. 21.2.14 lifestyle_13
“I always think people should express themselves”
O
n signing the Union guestbook in
handwriting that turned out to be as
incomprehensible as much of his later
discussion, Tommy Wiseau — writer, director,
and star of the cult train-wreck of a film that is
The Room — inadvertently gives perhaps the
most insightful glimpse into his world that we
are to receive all afternoon.
It is the first and only time that he removes
his trademark black sunglasses, and we get a
glimpse of tired blue eyes and an ashen face. He
has the resigned and slightly haunted look of a
man endlessly accompanied by the laughter of
a joke that he doesn’t quite understand.
Appropriate then, that the above description
perfectly explains the cult of The Room.
The Room is a drama (although, in light of
later ridicule, it was later reclassified by Wiseau
as a dark comedy) that has come to define him.
On paper, the film is the dramatic romance of
three young San Franciscans trapped in a love
triangle. On screen, it is the baffling product of
haphazard attention to technical detail and
narrative, a visibly frustrated cast, and a
clumsy script that puts Wiseau’s own fondness
for questionable syntax and non-sequiturs
into the mouths of every (non)character. It is
endlessly quotable, an endearing object of easy
ridicule which is made easier still by Wiseau’s
steadfast conviction that it a film rich in
symbolism and in sage commentary upon the
human condition.
Its release provided perfect bait for the
burgeoning online trend for online video-
clips, memes, and chat forums, and as a fan-
base coalesced, his avid followers lifted The
Room to cult status in the years following its
release. Even so, Wiseau decries the “internet
Hollywood” that helped make him, instead
choosing to associate himself with “real, old
Hollywood”. His absolute conviction in this
questionable concept is partly endearing,
partly pitiable, and entirely fitting with this
curious man’s persona; he is a man of whom
we know very little beyond his contradictory
and childishly charismatic media persona. His
blatant deflection of any enquiry into his past
has become characteristic of any of his public
appearances.
Greg Sestero — co-star of
Wiseau’s long-time off-screen friend — is
also here, presumably to publicise the
book he co-authored last autumn
chronicling his experience working on
the film. It tentatively hypothesises that
Wiseau’s younger self was a naive
idealist, infatuated with a romanticised
America sparked by his childhood
exposure to Disney’s
man who uprooted himself from a
dark past somewhere in the Eastern
Bloc to finally settle in America with a
new name and an innocent but
dangerous desire for
acceptance from the
Hollywood elite.
His work in the acting
industry and the dubious
acquisition of an
implausibly large $6 million
budget for
provided a foot in the
Hollywood door for the man
who now proclaims himself
comparable with the likes
of Orson Welles. We ask
Sestero what it’s like to play the Carraway to
this self-styled Gatsby. He responds, “When I
wrote this book, I tried to make it much less
about the making of a bad movie and more
about the reinvention of someone who never
really found himself and tried to create a
persona of someone so much different from
who he really was.
received during his Q&A, we ask him if he ever
feels that people try to intellectually
underestimate him. “Yeah they do, actually.
They put you down sometimes, but you have to
accept it. Think positive way, you know. I always
think people should express themselves”
We ask Wiseau if, having such a large fan
base which is nevertheless very detached from
his persona, he ever feels fame leads to
loneliness. “You just accept it, you have to
In light of such overt (and, if we have it his
way, also symbolic) reference to space in the
film’s title alone, we ask him what his favourite
place is. “I will not tell you, haha! We all have
special places. It’s like a real private place, so
you decide what you wanna do, where you
He has said that he is keen to understand
people, and yet there is something shamefully
vulnerable about his unwillingness to answer
anything which attempts to pry behind his
public persona. His trademark slightly absent
laugh signals the end of the interview, and we
file out of the Union. “That was everything I
wanted it to be”, we overhear from amongst the
amused crowd as they leave the room that was,
for a brief hour, Tommy’s Wiseauniverse.
Wiseau seems most comfortable when we
do not expect or allow him to provide
anything more than what he offered – a
compilation of ‘classic’ catchphrases and
misguided, naive or incoherent
monologues. Nevertheless, it is hard to
decide whether this justifies or
conversely makes more tasteless the
increasing demand for such formulaic
Victoria Lampard and Max Long talk to The Room’s Tommy Wiseau and Greg Sestero
blatant deflection of any enquiry into his past
has become characteristic of any of his public
appearances.
Greg Sestero — co-star of The Room and
Wiseau’s long-time off-screen friend — is
also here, presumably to publicise the
book he co-authored last autumn
chronicling his experience working on
the film. It tentatively hypothesises that
Wiseau’s younger self was a naive
idealist, infatuated with a romanticised
America sparked by his childhood
exposure to Disney’s 101 Dalmations; a
man who uprooted himself from a
dark past somewhere in the Eastern
Bloc to finally settle in America with a
new name and an innocent but
dangerous desire for
acceptance from the
Hollywood elite.
His work in the acting
industry and the dubious
acquisition of an
implausibly large $6 million
budget for The Room
provided a foot in the
Hollywood door for the man
who now proclaims himself
comparable with the likes
of Orson Welles. We ask
“That’s what makes him so interesting and
mysterious. You don’t know
who this guy is. The journey
of finding out who this
person is and why he
does what he does.”
In light of the
endless barrage
of ironic requests
for director’s tips
and ‘classic
p h r a s e s ’
W i s e a u
his persona, he ever feels fame leads to
loneliness. “You just accept it, you have to
adjust yourself to the situation.”
In light of such overt (and, if we have it his
way, also symbolic) reference to space in the
film’s title alone, we ask him what his favourite
place is. “I will not tell you, haha! We all have
special places. It’s like a real private place, so
you decide what you wanna do, where you
wanna be etcetera etcetera”.
He has said that he is keen to understand
people, and yet there is something shamefully
vulnerable about his unwillingness to answer
anything which attempts to pry behind his
public persona. His trademark slightly absent
laugh signals the end of the interview, and we
file out of the Union. “That was everything I
wanted it to be”, we overhear from amongst the
amused crowd as they leave the room that was,
for a brief hour, Tommy’s Wiseauniverse.
Wiseau seems most comfortable when we
do not expect or allow him to provide
anything more than what he offered – a
compilation of ‘classic’ catchphrases and
misguided, naive or incoherent
monologues. Nevertheless, it is hard to
decide whether this justifies or
conversely makes more tasteless the
increasing demand for such formulaic
public appearances.