• FORGIVENESS IS CENTRAL AND DECISIVE
IN THE GOOD NEWS OF JESUS CHRIST
• IT IS CENTRAL TO CHRISTIAN LIVING
• AS HUMANS, ALL OF US GET HURT AND
HURT OTHERS
• WE EASILY GET HURT AND FEEL DIFFICULT
TO FORGIVE
• REVENGE CAN ALSO BE MOTIVATED BY
FAULTY RELIGIOUS BELIEFS
• EX: GUJARAT, MUMBAI, 9/11, KANDHAMAL…
• MANY ARE TRAINED TO KILL OTHERS IN THE
WRONG DOCTRINE OF THEIR RELIGION
• MR. SOLOMON DIAS BHANDARANAIKE THE PM
OF SRI LANKA WAS MURDERED IN 1959 AND
FORGAVE HIM. BUDDHISTS DID NOT BUT A
CHRISTAIN PRIEST DID!
• TWO-THIRDS OF JESUS TEACHING IS ON
FORGIVENESS.
• MORE THAN HALF THE NO. OF PARABLE
ARE ABOUT FORGIVENESS
• PRODIGAL SON (LK 15: 11-32), PETER (MT 18:
21-22
• FORGIVE THEM ( LK 23: 34)
• WE CHRISTIANS
ARE CALLED TO BE
FORGIVEN AND
FORGIVING
PEOPLE. BUT IN
PRACTICE???
• OUR FRIENDS
USUAL ADVICE?
FORGIVE ---SHOW
HIM/HER WHO
REALLY ARE!!!
• POPE JOHN PAUL II
• GLADYS STAINES
• MUSLIM MOTHER IN DUBAI
• BLACK PEOPLE IN SOUTH AFRICA
• .
• .
• .
• .
WHY DO WE NOT FORGIVE?
• 1. WE FEEL THAT BY NOT FORGIVING THE
OFFENDERS –WE HOLD POWER OVER
THEM
ACTULALLY BY KEEPING OUR ENEMY IN
MIND ALL THE TIME, WE ALLOW THE
ENEMY TO HAVE CONTROL OVER OUR
WHOLE SELVES
. WE ALLOW THE OTHER TO RULE OUR
DECISIONS
• 2. WE HAVE DIFFICULTY IN ACCEPTING OUR
OWN FAULTS AND IT HELPS US TO ESCAPE
OUR OWN PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY FOR
OUR LIVES
• WE HAVE DIFFCULTY IN ACCEPTING FAILURE
• WE EVADE RESPONSIBILTY FOR OUR ACTIONS
• I AM BROKEN BECAUSE OF ----MY PARENTS,
FRIENDS DID NOT TREAT ME WELL,
CONGREGATION, DIOCESE…
• 3. WE KEEP DISTANCE FROM THEM
PRESUMING THAT WE WILL NOT BE HURT
AGAIN AND WE WILL NOT BE VULNERABLE
• I KNOW HIS/HER CHARACTER – SHE
HURTS ME OFTEN. BETTER AVOID HER.
• THAT ACUTALLY CONTINUE TO HURT US!
• IF SOMEONE DIGS UP WHAT WE HIDE, WE
WILL GET IRRITATED AND HURT
EFFECTS OF FORGIVENESS
• WHEN WE DON’T FORGIVE WE CARRY THE
BURDEN OF PAIN AND ANGER, GENERALLY
BECOMING RESENTFUL, DEPRESSED AND
IRRITABLE
• WE BECOME DISORIENTED AND SLOWLY
FORFEIT OUR CREATIVITY.
• WE BECOME WITHDRAWN, INACTIVE AND
DISTANT FROM OTHERS’ JOYS
• OUR HUMAN SPIRIT GETS
POISONED AND THAT POISON
ENTERS OUR FEELINGS,
RELATIONSHIPS AND ALL
COMMUNICATION
• WE BECOME PREY TO SICKNESS
OF ALL TYPES
WHAT IS NOT FORGIVENESS?
• FORGIVENESS IS NOT FORGETTING- IT
CHANGES THE WAY WE REMEMBER
• ---TRUTH COMMISION IN SA
• FORGIVENESS IS NOT CONDONING. WE
DON’T CANCELL OR MINIMIZE THE PAST
OR TREAT IT AS IF NOTHING EVER
HAPPENED. HURT CREATES INDELIBLE
MARK IN OUR HEARTS. WE MINIMIZE THE
EFFECT ON OUR LIFE
• FORGIVENESS IS NOT ABSOLUTION: IF
SOMEONE HAS DONE WRONG, IT IS THE
OFFENDER’S RESPONSIBILITY TO OWN UP
AND MAKE PEACE WITH THE WRONGED.
• A THIRD PERSON CANNOT DECLARE IT OK
• ONLY GOD CAN GRANT ABSOLUTION. WE
ONLY FORGIVE THEM FOR OUR OWN SAKE
• FORGIVENESS IS NOT A SIGN OF WEAKNESS
BUT OF STRENGTH: NOR A SIGN OF
COWARDICE – HE WILL NOT BE ABLE TO
FORGIVE. IT IS REALLY TOUGH AND
DIFFICULT TO FORGIVE. IT INVOLVES OUR
MIND, HEART, SPIRIT ANS FEELINGS
• INTERNAL STRENGTH IS NEEDED TO
FORGIVE
• IT IS UNCONDITIONAL- THERE IS NO HALF
WAY FORGIVENESS
• FORGIVENESS IS NOT A CLEAR-
CUT, ONE TIME DECISION: IT IS A
PROCESS AND INVOLVES A
SERIES OF DECISIONS
• IT TAKES TIME TO FORGIVE. IT
DEPENDS ON THE DEPTH OF THE
HURT
WHAT IS FORGIVING?
• IT IS GIVING UP RESENTMENT
AGAINST THE OFFENDER:
RESENTMENT EATS AWAY OUR
ENERGY AND FREEDOM, AND
DESPOILS THE BEAUTY OF LIFE
• NO LONGER THESE DICTATE MY
FUTURE ACTIONS
CHRISTIAN MEANING OF FORGIVENESS
IT IS EXPERIENCING GOD’S
UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND FORGIVENESS,
AND THEREBY ALLOWING OURSELVES TO
BE TRASFORMED BY GOD
IT IS UNCONDITIONAL AND WE DON’T
MERIT IT
THE BIBLE IS FULL OF THIS THEME
BUT THE ONE WHO TURNS AGAINTS THE
TRUTH/GOD CANNOT RECEIVE
FORGIVENESS
• 1. FORGIVENESS IS AN ACT OF LOVE.
WHEN WE ARE FILLED WITH GOD’S
LOVE WE COULD DO IT.
• THIS COMMUNICATES LOVE AND LIFE
TO THE OFFENDER
• DO I NOT DESTROY MY ENEMIES
WHEN I MAKE THEM MY FRIENDS? –A
LINCOLN
• 2. IT IS A FORM OF REALISM. IT
MAKES US SEE HOW MUCH
ENERGY WE WAST AND WE
DAMAGE OUR OWN LIFE
• WE MIGHT HAVE SPENT JOYLESS
NIGHTS AND CELEBRATIONS
EARLIER TO THIS
3. FORGIVENESS IS AN INTERNAL
PROCESS: IT CANNOT BE FORCED
UPON US FROM OUTSIDE
4. IT IS A SIGN OF POSITIVE SELF-
ESTEEM. WE ARE IN THE IMAGE OF
GOD
5. WE DON’T KEEP RECORD OF
WRONGS
6. FORGIVENESS IS A WAY TO
FREEDOM. WE ARE NO LOGER
OBSESSED BY ANY THING OR PERSON
OF THE PAST
• 7. FORGIVENESS IS HEALING.
• 8. IT IS REFUSAL TO JUDGE OTHERS
• 9. THERE IS A NEED TO FORGIVE
OURSELVES. WE OFFEND AND BLAME
OURSELVES FOR THE FAILURES AND
SHORTCOMINGS OF OUR LIVES! SELF-
ACCEPTANCE AND SELF-LOVE
• 10. FORGIVENESS IS LIMITLESS. MT
18:21-22
• 11. FORGIVENESS LEADS TO
RECONCILIATION
• EX: TEACHER FORGIVING HER
WIFE MANY TIMES, HUSBAND
COULD NOT FORGIVE HIS WIFE
FOR GIVING A SON NOT OF THEIR
TEXURE,
• “ ABSERVE ALL, IGNORE MANY
AND CORRECT A FEW”- JOHN
XXIII
• PRAY FOR YOUR ENEMIES ( LK 6:
27-28)
• MEMORY, TOGETHER WITH
REASONING, IS A FUNCTION OF THE
MIND.
• PRAYING AND FORGIVING IS MORE A
FUNCTION OF THE HEART.
• HENCE, IN FORGIVING, THE ENEMY IS
TO BE MOVED FROM OUR MIND TO
OUR HEART
• PRAYER CONVERTS THE ENEMY INTO
A FRIEND IN OUR HEART AND A NEW
RELATIONSHIP BEGINS
• VENGENCE AND HATRED GOES ON
EVEN AFTER THE DEATH OF THE
ENEMY
• “ THROW US IN JAIL AND WE WILL
STILL LOVE YOU. BOMB OUR HOUSES
AND THREATEN OUR CHILDREN AND
WE WILL STILL LOVE YOU. SEND
YOUR HOODED PERPETRATORS OF
VIOLENCE INTO OUR COMMUNITIES
AT THE MIDNIGHT HOUR AND BEAT
US AND LEAVE US HALF DEAD, AND
WE SHALL STILL LOVE YOU”
• “ BUT BE YOU ASSURED THAT WE
WILL WEAR YOU DOWN BY OUR
CAPACITY TO SUFFER. ONE DAY
WE SHALL WIN FREEDOM, BUT
ONLY FOR OURSELVES. WE SHALL
SO APPEAL IN THE PROCESS AND
OUR VICTORY WILL BE DOUBLE
VICTORY” MARTIN LUTHER KING
JR
WHAT COULD HELP US FORGIVE?
• FORGIVENESS FLOWS ESSENTIALLY FROM
ONE’S OWN FORGIVEN STATE OF BEING
FORGIVEN.
• 1. STILLNESS AND RELAXATION
• 2. SELF-ACCEPTANCE
• 3. HUMAN UNDERSTANDING OF BROKENESS
• 4. MEDITATION ON JESUS’ SUFFERING AND
WHOLE OF HUMANITY
• 5. A LIFE OF LOVE – WARM, RELATED AND
HARMONIOUS
THANK YOU
FR . VICTOR EMMANUEL, S.J.

Call to forgiveness

  • 2.
    • FORGIVENESS ISCENTRAL AND DECISIVE IN THE GOOD NEWS OF JESUS CHRIST • IT IS CENTRAL TO CHRISTIAN LIVING • AS HUMANS, ALL OF US GET HURT AND HURT OTHERS • WE EASILY GET HURT AND FEEL DIFFICULT TO FORGIVE
  • 3.
    • REVENGE CANALSO BE MOTIVATED BY FAULTY RELIGIOUS BELIEFS • EX: GUJARAT, MUMBAI, 9/11, KANDHAMAL… • MANY ARE TRAINED TO KILL OTHERS IN THE WRONG DOCTRINE OF THEIR RELIGION • MR. SOLOMON DIAS BHANDARANAIKE THE PM OF SRI LANKA WAS MURDERED IN 1959 AND FORGAVE HIM. BUDDHISTS DID NOT BUT A CHRISTAIN PRIEST DID!
  • 6.
    • TWO-THIRDS OFJESUS TEACHING IS ON FORGIVENESS. • MORE THAN HALF THE NO. OF PARABLE ARE ABOUT FORGIVENESS • PRODIGAL SON (LK 15: 11-32), PETER (MT 18: 21-22 • FORGIVE THEM ( LK 23: 34)
  • 7.
    • WE CHRISTIANS ARECALLED TO BE FORGIVEN AND FORGIVING PEOPLE. BUT IN PRACTICE??? • OUR FRIENDS USUAL ADVICE? FORGIVE ---SHOW HIM/HER WHO REALLY ARE!!!
  • 11.
    • POPE JOHNPAUL II • GLADYS STAINES • MUSLIM MOTHER IN DUBAI • BLACK PEOPLE IN SOUTH AFRICA • . • . • . • .
  • 26.
    WHY DO WENOT FORGIVE? • 1. WE FEEL THAT BY NOT FORGIVING THE OFFENDERS –WE HOLD POWER OVER THEM ACTULALLY BY KEEPING OUR ENEMY IN MIND ALL THE TIME, WE ALLOW THE ENEMY TO HAVE CONTROL OVER OUR WHOLE SELVES . WE ALLOW THE OTHER TO RULE OUR DECISIONS
  • 27.
    • 2. WEHAVE DIFFICULTY IN ACCEPTING OUR OWN FAULTS AND IT HELPS US TO ESCAPE OUR OWN PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY FOR OUR LIVES • WE HAVE DIFFCULTY IN ACCEPTING FAILURE • WE EVADE RESPONSIBILTY FOR OUR ACTIONS • I AM BROKEN BECAUSE OF ----MY PARENTS, FRIENDS DID NOT TREAT ME WELL, CONGREGATION, DIOCESE…
  • 28.
    • 3. WEKEEP DISTANCE FROM THEM PRESUMING THAT WE WILL NOT BE HURT AGAIN AND WE WILL NOT BE VULNERABLE • I KNOW HIS/HER CHARACTER – SHE HURTS ME OFTEN. BETTER AVOID HER. • THAT ACUTALLY CONTINUE TO HURT US! • IF SOMEONE DIGS UP WHAT WE HIDE, WE WILL GET IRRITATED AND HURT
  • 29.
    EFFECTS OF FORGIVENESS •WHEN WE DON’T FORGIVE WE CARRY THE BURDEN OF PAIN AND ANGER, GENERALLY BECOMING RESENTFUL, DEPRESSED AND IRRITABLE • WE BECOME DISORIENTED AND SLOWLY FORFEIT OUR CREATIVITY. • WE BECOME WITHDRAWN, INACTIVE AND DISTANT FROM OTHERS’ JOYS
  • 30.
    • OUR HUMANSPIRIT GETS POISONED AND THAT POISON ENTERS OUR FEELINGS, RELATIONSHIPS AND ALL COMMUNICATION • WE BECOME PREY TO SICKNESS OF ALL TYPES
  • 32.
    WHAT IS NOTFORGIVENESS? • FORGIVENESS IS NOT FORGETTING- IT CHANGES THE WAY WE REMEMBER • ---TRUTH COMMISION IN SA • FORGIVENESS IS NOT CONDONING. WE DON’T CANCELL OR MINIMIZE THE PAST OR TREAT IT AS IF NOTHING EVER HAPPENED. HURT CREATES INDELIBLE MARK IN OUR HEARTS. WE MINIMIZE THE EFFECT ON OUR LIFE
  • 33.
    • FORGIVENESS ISNOT ABSOLUTION: IF SOMEONE HAS DONE WRONG, IT IS THE OFFENDER’S RESPONSIBILITY TO OWN UP AND MAKE PEACE WITH THE WRONGED. • A THIRD PERSON CANNOT DECLARE IT OK • ONLY GOD CAN GRANT ABSOLUTION. WE ONLY FORGIVE THEM FOR OUR OWN SAKE
  • 34.
    • FORGIVENESS ISNOT A SIGN OF WEAKNESS BUT OF STRENGTH: NOR A SIGN OF COWARDICE – HE WILL NOT BE ABLE TO FORGIVE. IT IS REALLY TOUGH AND DIFFICULT TO FORGIVE. IT INVOLVES OUR MIND, HEART, SPIRIT ANS FEELINGS • INTERNAL STRENGTH IS NEEDED TO FORGIVE • IT IS UNCONDITIONAL- THERE IS NO HALF WAY FORGIVENESS
  • 35.
    • FORGIVENESS ISNOT A CLEAR- CUT, ONE TIME DECISION: IT IS A PROCESS AND INVOLVES A SERIES OF DECISIONS • IT TAKES TIME TO FORGIVE. IT DEPENDS ON THE DEPTH OF THE HURT
  • 37.
    WHAT IS FORGIVING? •IT IS GIVING UP RESENTMENT AGAINST THE OFFENDER: RESENTMENT EATS AWAY OUR ENERGY AND FREEDOM, AND DESPOILS THE BEAUTY OF LIFE • NO LONGER THESE DICTATE MY FUTURE ACTIONS
  • 38.
    CHRISTIAN MEANING OFFORGIVENESS IT IS EXPERIENCING GOD’S UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND FORGIVENESS, AND THEREBY ALLOWING OURSELVES TO BE TRASFORMED BY GOD IT IS UNCONDITIONAL AND WE DON’T MERIT IT THE BIBLE IS FULL OF THIS THEME BUT THE ONE WHO TURNS AGAINTS THE TRUTH/GOD CANNOT RECEIVE FORGIVENESS
  • 39.
    • 1. FORGIVENESSIS AN ACT OF LOVE. WHEN WE ARE FILLED WITH GOD’S LOVE WE COULD DO IT. • THIS COMMUNICATES LOVE AND LIFE TO THE OFFENDER • DO I NOT DESTROY MY ENEMIES WHEN I MAKE THEM MY FRIENDS? –A LINCOLN
  • 40.
    • 2. ITIS A FORM OF REALISM. IT MAKES US SEE HOW MUCH ENERGY WE WAST AND WE DAMAGE OUR OWN LIFE • WE MIGHT HAVE SPENT JOYLESS NIGHTS AND CELEBRATIONS EARLIER TO THIS
  • 41.
    3. FORGIVENESS ISAN INTERNAL PROCESS: IT CANNOT BE FORCED UPON US FROM OUTSIDE 4. IT IS A SIGN OF POSITIVE SELF- ESTEEM. WE ARE IN THE IMAGE OF GOD 5. WE DON’T KEEP RECORD OF WRONGS 6. FORGIVENESS IS A WAY TO FREEDOM. WE ARE NO LOGER OBSESSED BY ANY THING OR PERSON OF THE PAST
  • 42.
    • 7. FORGIVENESSIS HEALING. • 8. IT IS REFUSAL TO JUDGE OTHERS • 9. THERE IS A NEED TO FORGIVE OURSELVES. WE OFFEND AND BLAME OURSELVES FOR THE FAILURES AND SHORTCOMINGS OF OUR LIVES! SELF- ACCEPTANCE AND SELF-LOVE • 10. FORGIVENESS IS LIMITLESS. MT 18:21-22 • 11. FORGIVENESS LEADS TO RECONCILIATION
  • 43.
    • EX: TEACHERFORGIVING HER WIFE MANY TIMES, HUSBAND COULD NOT FORGIVE HIS WIFE FOR GIVING A SON NOT OF THEIR TEXURE, • “ ABSERVE ALL, IGNORE MANY AND CORRECT A FEW”- JOHN XXIII • PRAY FOR YOUR ENEMIES ( LK 6: 27-28)
  • 44.
    • MEMORY, TOGETHERWITH REASONING, IS A FUNCTION OF THE MIND. • PRAYING AND FORGIVING IS MORE A FUNCTION OF THE HEART. • HENCE, IN FORGIVING, THE ENEMY IS TO BE MOVED FROM OUR MIND TO OUR HEART • PRAYER CONVERTS THE ENEMY INTO A FRIEND IN OUR HEART AND A NEW RELATIONSHIP BEGINS
  • 45.
    • VENGENCE ANDHATRED GOES ON EVEN AFTER THE DEATH OF THE ENEMY • “ THROW US IN JAIL AND WE WILL STILL LOVE YOU. BOMB OUR HOUSES AND THREATEN OUR CHILDREN AND WE WILL STILL LOVE YOU. SEND YOUR HOODED PERPETRATORS OF VIOLENCE INTO OUR COMMUNITIES AT THE MIDNIGHT HOUR AND BEAT US AND LEAVE US HALF DEAD, AND WE SHALL STILL LOVE YOU”
  • 46.
    • “ BUTBE YOU ASSURED THAT WE WILL WEAR YOU DOWN BY OUR CAPACITY TO SUFFER. ONE DAY WE SHALL WIN FREEDOM, BUT ONLY FOR OURSELVES. WE SHALL SO APPEAL IN THE PROCESS AND OUR VICTORY WILL BE DOUBLE VICTORY” MARTIN LUTHER KING JR
  • 49.
    WHAT COULD HELPUS FORGIVE? • FORGIVENESS FLOWS ESSENTIALLY FROM ONE’S OWN FORGIVEN STATE OF BEING FORGIVEN. • 1. STILLNESS AND RELAXATION • 2. SELF-ACCEPTANCE • 3. HUMAN UNDERSTANDING OF BROKENESS • 4. MEDITATION ON JESUS’ SUFFERING AND WHOLE OF HUMANITY • 5. A LIFE OF LOVE – WARM, RELATED AND HARMONIOUS
  • 52.
    THANK YOU FR .VICTOR EMMANUEL, S.J.