The document outlines a plan to launch a website called KidsintheMiddle.org.uk in 2014 to provide online support and resources for children experiencing parental separation. Around 250,000 children in the UK are affected by parental separation each year, which can be traumatic and damaging, especially without proper support. Previous online support services for these children have closed due to issues with sustainability. The new website aims to connect children with peer support and counseling resources through an existing online platform, while also providing information to help children and parents understand the experience and impacts of separation. Founding partners including family lawyers and mediators have pledged funding and support to help launch and promote the initiative.

1. Launch & Business Plan
Creating a new national support for children in separating
families
1 March 2014
“The Law says that the welfare of the child is paramount, but in the real world of
parental separation, children can often feel vulnerable and isolated.”
Georgina Bacon, one of the Founding Partners
“All children have the right to information from a variety of sources, especially to
information aimed at the promotion of his or her social, spiritual and moral wellbeing and physical and mental health.”
United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child, Article 17
“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the
world. Indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.”
Margaret Mead
Kids in the Middle
Lulworth House, Monk Street
Abergavenny
NP7 5PN
T: 07950 028704
E: admin@kidsinthemiddle.org.uk
W: www.KidsintheMiddle.org.uk
Trustees: Peter Gavan (Chair), Ivar Grey FCA, Andy Taurins
Kids in the Middle is a Registered Company, no. 8409605, and a Registered Charity, no. 1153731.

2. Contents
Summary
3
1. The fundraising opportunity
4
2. The problem we are addressing
5
3. History, vision, aims
7
4. Other services in this field
9
5. Overview of plan
10
6. The website
11
7. Budget
12
8. Fundraising campaign 2014-2016
13
9. Management
17
10. SWOT
18
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3. Summary
2014 is a watershed moment for children in separating families. It is the year
when those working with separating families – who have long worried about the
lack of support for the children in these families – can act collectively to create a
new and permanent on-line service for these children, which they can
recommend to all families with confidence. They will also obtain materials that
help them to build connections with local schools, where teachers see the impact
of family separation on children every day.
2013 saw the first lap of the race: 20 young people raised £15,000. Now family
lawyers and mediators are working across the UK, many jointly with young
people, to raise more funds for the new service.
Some 250,000 children every year are affected by family separation. It is
traumatic for every one of them and seriously damaging to some. It is universally
accepted by professionals working with families that children do not receive
enough support and their perspective is often poorly represented; but outside
these circles there is a lack of conviction about whether or not these children are
really a high-need group. There is disagreement about whether supporting these
children is the responsibility of the state or charities, leading to the buck being
passed. Three on-line support services for children in separating families have
recently closed down. Support for these children always seems to get overlooked
in the middle of the confusion and disagreement that exists between adults.
A new generation of sophisticated and safe on-line supports for children and
young people is emerging. We will work with the website, Mindfull.org, which
provides a comprehensive self-help, mentoring and counselling service on-line
for children and young people. KidsintheMiddle.org.uk will back into this service,
and be a shop-front where children, young people and parents can see and hear
the story of separation from the perspective of young people who have been
through it. Our key messages to children will be: it’s not your fault, you are not
alone and it’s OK to seek help. Our key messages to parents will be to scale down
the conflict and protect the family relationships on which the child’s happiness
and wellbeing depends.
The project has already won the enthusiastic support of Resolution, the
association of family lawyers and mediators, of Cafcass and of Tam Baillie, the
dynamic Children’s Commissioner in Scotland. 43 family law and mediation firms
have already signed up as Founding Partners of Kids in the Middle to make sure
the campaign is a success – they will all raise at least £2000. Hundreds of other
family lawyers and mediators are considering joining them.
In this document we set out the plan to launch a website during 2014,
www.KidsintheMiddle.org.uk, for children in separating families and also for
their parents, and to establish it as a permanent and sustainable service in future
years.
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4. 1. The fundraising opportunity
At first sight, the funding outlook appears bleak. We have had a weak economy
for some years, there is no Government funding, children’s charities are focusing
on poverty and charitable foundations are overstretched with applications,
ambivalent about the issue of family separation and inexperienced in working
with start-up projects!
However, we can be optimistic.

We do not need a huge amount of money to address the problem we are
addressing – we can be smart in how we configure the support and
connect with a family of other new on-line supports for children and
young people.

We have discovered niches of funding that are plenty big enough for our
task…..
o Family lawyers, mediators and other professionals working with
separating families feel intensely the lack of support directly for
children and want to help. Hundreds have already opened
conversation with Kids in the Middle. 43 have so far agreed to be
core supporters of Kids in the Middle, as Founding Partners. They
are aiming to raise at least £2000 each during 2014.
o Dynamic family law and mediation firms are adapting to the huge
change in their market place – the withdrawal of legal aid for
family separation cases and the transfer of support to mediation –
with a new focus on marketing and communication and
diversification of their services. Supporting Kids in the Middle is an
excellent cause-related marketing opportunity for these firms,
determined to ride the current wave of change.
o Kids in the Middle is a perfect candidate for the Charity of the Year
appeals of larger law firms.
o Young people instantly understand the problem we are tackling
and are willing to raise funds for it – 20 teenagers raised £15,000
in 2013. Many of the Founding Partners are working with young
people.
o Everybody knows a kid in the middle and how much it hurts to be
in that place.
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5. 2. The problem we are addressing
Some 400,000 children experience the separation of their parents every year in
UK. For every one of them it is a traumatic experience. For some, particularly
those exposed to high levels of conflict over a long period and those losing what
was once a secure attachment, it can do permanent damage.
Younger more dependent children typically regress into greater dependency and
suffer anxiety about the new insecurity. Older children typically assert greater
independence and can rebel. Many teachers observe a loss of concentration at
school or a lapse into disruptive behaviour for all ages of children. In the
personal history of a boy or girl, parental separation is a watershed event.1
The perspective of children in separating families is poorly represented. There
are few services on offer that genuinely feed their views into the equation, with
the attention all on the parents. Legal and court processes focus on dismantling
arrangements, rather than on restoring lives. There is perpetual controversy
over what actually is the best interest of the child. Children and young people
have almost no voice in family separation.
In the last three years, three on-line services for children in separating families
have closed down, not through a lack of demand but through the particular ways
in which they were configured: ItsNotYourFault.org (an Action for Children
website), a peer mentoring service (run by Cafcass) and an on-line counselling
service (run by Relate). We have studied their experience and have formed our
plans accordingly.
Government-commissioned research published in 20012 showed that children
want their parents to talk to them about the situation, but many parents do not.
It is difficult for children to raise the subject with their parents and often they
seek support from others. This research report concludes that the provision of
information to children is a human rights issue and quotes the United Nations
Convention on the Rights of the Child (as quoted on the cover of this document).
The same research also showed that information for parents on the impact of
separation on children had a considerable impact on the parents’ thoughts and
actions. Information, however, should not be too prescriptive – it should simply
portray the experience of particular children.
When first thinking about Kids in the Middle, we carried out interviews with
young people from the Cafcass Youth Board and with professionals working with
separating families. It was immediately clear that there is not enough support for
‘kids in the middle’ and young people on the Cafcass board particularly
www.psychologytoday.com/blog/surviving-your-childsadolescence/201112/the-impact-divorce-young-children-and-adolescents
2 Walker J, Information Meetings and Associated Provisions
within the Family Law Act 1996, 2001, p.559
1
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6. recommended peer group support. Professionals do not have a place they can
confidently refer children to.
“I think that any service needs to be very accessible and that children are
given the message that there is a service out there that they can use that is
private and confidential. Children often feel under a lot of pressure and it
is difficult for them to not take sides when their parents’ divorce.”
CAFCASS worker surveyed in preparation for this project
Strong support for the project has also been expressed by others:
Resolution: “Projects like these are absolutely crucial to helping children
deal with the emotional fall out of separation.”
Anthony Douglas CBE, CEO of Cafcass: “Kids in the Middle is an inspired
campaign to give children and young people an opportunity to
communicate what they are going through.”
Tam Baillie, Scotland’s Children’s Commissioner: “On many occasions
the experiences, views and emotions of children whose parents are going
through divorce or separation are forgotten about. Usually the focus is on
the parents and too often the children and young people are overlooked.
It’s time we were more conscious of children and young people’s
perspective in this. For that reason I wholeheartedly support Kids in the
Middle’s campaign to establish an online outlet where young people in
separating families can share their stories. This is especially important at
a time where funders are reducing resources for services that directly
support children.”
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7. 3. History, vision, aims
3.1 History
The idea of Kids in the Middle was born in 2004 when project initiator, Duncan
Fisher, witnessed the separation of the parents of a 10-year-old girl in his
children’s primary school. Not only did the girl not receive enough support, but
the adults around the child were reluctant to step in for fear of getting between
the warring parents. From this emerged the idea of a website for children and
young people that provides ‘first aid’ support and advice, with some simple key
messages – it’s not your fault, you are not alone, it is OK to get help – and then
pointers to what to do next.
The first manifestation of Kids in the
Middle was a campaign backed by
Agony Aunts in the national media and
family and children’s charities. This ran
between 2007 and 2010. The campaign
for better support for children attracted
considerable attention and was much
favoured by Government – there were
meetings with two Prime Ministers and
many meetings with the Secretary of
State for Education. Government gave
£40m for additional counselling services in
schools. But with the economic downturn
and the change of Government, the funding
model collapsed and the campaign ceased,
before permanent change in the support for
children had been achieved.
Discussing Kids in the Middle with the
Prime Minister (on the day the
Lehmann Brothers bank collapsed).
Duncan Fisher returned to the task two years later in 2012, focusing this time on
the more precise aim of creating an on-line support for ‘kids in the middle’ and
making it sustainable.
During 2013 he tested the market for support
in two ways. He worked with two schools and
found that young people enthusiastically
embrace the cause – 20 teenagers raised
£15,000. He also discovered that there is a
deep well of support for such a service for
children among family lawyers and mediators
who see the hurt of children at close quarters
and are pained by the paucity of support
directly for them.
He consulted with young people from separated families through the Cafcass
Youth Board and he assessed current on-line support for children and young
people. He found the Beat Bullying Group. This organisation, having created the
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8. award winning BeatBullying.org website, went on to create other youth
websites, TheFutureYou.org.uk and Mindfull.org. The website, Mindfull.org,
provides exactly the support service Kids in the Middle would like to provide
(self-help, mentoring and counselling) and a partnership is now being developed.
On-line support for young people is a new and growing sector and Kids in the
Middle can be part of that exciting process, working with the front-runners.
Duncan has systematically appealed to family lawyers and mediators to seek
their support for the campaign. Hundreds of lawyers and mediators are
interested. 43 firms have so far signed up as “Founding Partners” of Kids in the
Middle, each ready to raise at least £2000 for the website, assist in its design and
promote it nationally. The Founding Partners have been meeting and this plan is
based on their discussions about fundraising.
All this work demonstrates both the need and the viability of a new on-line
support for children and young people in separating families. A good fundraising
campaign is the next step.
3.2 The vision
We want to see three things:

More support directly for children and young people in separating
families.

Less conflict between parents meted out through their children.

Fewer positive family relationships for children severed through family
separation.
3.3 Aims
We will do four things to bring about our vision.
1. Build a website where children and young people can see and hear the
experiences of young people who have been through family separation
and where they can access discussion with peers, peer mentoring and
counselling (in an extremely safe environment).
2. Include a section on the website for separating parents where children
and young people can present their perspective to them. This part of the
website will point parents to where they can get help to reach a resolution
that really works in the best interests of the children.
3. Create materials that local organisations can use to build connections
with schools and link schools to local support for children in separating
families.
4. Organise a voice for children and young people in the debate about family
separation and the child’s best interest.
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9. 4. Other services in the field
With the demise of three on-line support services for children in separating
families, the field is fairly clear of ‘competition’!
There are, however, services for children in separating families in certain places.
Childline is well able to support children who phone up for adult advice (and we
will actively promote it, particularly to younger children). Some local mediation
firms provide direct support for children. There are peer support websites
where children in separating families could go, such as YouthNet. There are some
good existing videos of children talking about separation and divorce, but they
are scattered and not well optimised for on-line searching.
The website that most closely provides the services we need, but without the
branding and marketing we need, is Mindfull.org – self-help, peer mentoring and
counselling in an extremely safe environment. Kids in the Middle will back into
Mindfull.org and will help Mindfull.org to host additional services needed by our
target group – specialist counsellors, on-line discussions, peer mentors who have
experienced the separation of their parents. (See section 6.)
We will promote existing services that are relevant to our target group, bringing
them all together into one place under a strong and well-promoted brand and
strong search engine optimisation. Services will be presented and described by
young people through videos and children and young people will take their pick
of the available support.
There is a website for teenagers in separating families in Ireland,
www.teenbetween.ie and a website for younger children in US,
www.IAmaChildofDivorce.com, but nothing currently in UK. These sites do not
have anything like the sophistication of service that is provided by Mindfull.org.
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10. 5. Overview of plan
Fundraising
Delivery
2013
Young people raised £15,000
(www.justgiving.com/teams/youngfundraisers)
2014
Family law and mediation firms become
Founding Partners – run local cause related
marketing and fundraising campaigns. (43
Partners so far; target is 75.)
Produce materials for
family lawyers, mediators
and others to run groups
and assemblies in schools.
National fundraising events that Founding
Partners can join in.
Launch first version of
website at
www.KidsintheMiddle.org.
uk, backing into the
support services supplied
by Mindfull.org See section
6.
National appeal to all family lawyers and
mediators who are not Founding Partners
to back the campaign with a donation of
£50-£100.
Approach large law firms to make Kids in
the Middle their Charity of the Year.
2015
2016
As above.
We will organise other fundraising events,
including one specifically for young people
in the summer, a desert trek with
Junglemoon.
Further develop video
content and the support
services delivered with
Mindfull.org.
Branding, marketing, SEO.
Contribution of young
people to debate about
separating families and the
“best interests of the child”.
Meetings in London,
Cardiff, Edinburgh, Belfast.
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11. 6. The website
KidsintheMiddle.org.uk will present content created by children and young
people who have experienced family separation, mainly in the form of videos.
It will have the following functions:
 For children and young people experiencing family separation
o Key messages: it’s not your fault, you’re not alone, it’s OK to get
help.
o Backing into peer discussion, peer mentoring and counselling
services available through Mindfull.org (see below).
o Signposting to further support – on-line/off-line, national/local.
 For separating parents
o See the situation from the child’s perspective.
o Adopt low conflict approaches to restoring a different parenting
arrangement (and here’s where you can get help to do this).
 For professionals and politicians
o What the best interest of children is in the view of the children
themselves. This is a necessary contribution to our understanding.
It will be well-branded and well search-optimised so that it reaches 85% of all
children and young people experiencing family separation each year (200,000
unique young visitors/year), along with their parents.
Everything will be available on a mobile interface, appearing as an App, and via a
confidential portal on Facebook.
Peer discussion, peer mentoring and counselling
For those young people wanting to go further than just being informed, the site
will offer peer discussion, peer mentoring and counselling - to do this,
KidsintheMiddle.org will back into Mindfull.org. Mindfull.org leads the world in
providing on-line support to children and young people; it provides a very safe
environment and the services are designed in a youth-friendly way, for example,
with a lot of choice and flexibility.
Additional Kids in the Middle branded services will be placed within
the Mindfull.org space - discussions about separation, mentors able to focus on
the issue of separation, counselling by specialists in family separation. Users
won't feel they are moving to a different place when they enter Mindfull.org KidsintheMiddle will be present there.
Mindfull.org can provide peer discussion and peer mentoring services for free for
Kids in the Middle. Counselling costs money. Young people can access
counselling in two ways. They can buy it or they can have a voucher code that
they get from someone who has pre-paid for the counselling service.
Fundraising for Kids in the Middle at the local level will be partly to fund the
national service and partly to buy counselling vouchers for local children.
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12. 7. Budget
7.1 2014-2016
2014
150,000
Net income for costs of next year
150,000
49,000
199,000
150,000
71,000
221,000
50,000
50,000
50,000
10,000
5,000
5,000
5,000
0
0
0
3,000
33,000
0
101,000
3,000
5,000
35,000
30,000
128,000
3,000
0
37,000
32,000
127,000
49,000
Costs:
Web development, branding, SEO,
marketing
Video material of children and
young people
Materials for lawyers/mediators in
schools
Travel costs for young people to meetings
Fundraising advice
Management costs
Running website
Total
2016
150,000
Income:
Target from fund raising
Brought forward
Total
2015
71,000
94,000
7.2 2017 onwards
We will enter 2017 with a cushion of £94,000 raised in the previous period. This
will fund the transition to a different kind of revenue generation. We are
exploring the following revenue sources:

Continued fundraising campaigns with a stronger local flavour to raise
money for vouchers for local children and young people to access
counselling.

Continued membership of law and mediation firms with a package of
benefits.

Advertising of mediation, collaborative law and other such services on the
website.

Appeals and foundation applications for particular investments.
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13. 8. Fundraising campaign 2014-2016
8.1 Overview
The campaign has three parts:
1. Founding Partners – family law and mediation firms – raising at least
£2,000 each through organizing local fundraising events or participating
in national ones organized by Kids in the Middle. Partners will also run
local media campaigns that raise their profile. So far we have 43 Founding
Partners and the target for 2014 is 75.
2. An appeal to all family lawyers and mediators who are not employed by
firms who are Founding Partners to make a donation of £50-£100 each.
(There are about 5,000 of them on our database.)
3. A request for larger donations from the larger law firms. We will ask them
to make Kids in the Middle their Charity of the Year. (Recent Charity of the
Year projects with large law firms have raised about £30,000 each for
other charities.)
The overall target is £150,000/year for three years, which allows the launch of
the website, significant development and strong branding and marketing work,
including search engine optimization.
If we raise more, we will invest in the future development of the service, with the
focus on sustainability rather than just building a bigger operation.
8.2 Founding Partners
Benefits: The benefits to Founding Partners are:

Being seen to lead the way in creating new support for children and
young people in separating families, whose interests are considered to be
paramount but who constantly tend to be overlooked.

A great brand association to raise local profile. Approaches by firms to
local BBC radio stations to talk about Kids in the Middle so far have had a
100% success rate.

Sharing of marketing ideas among the partners at a time of massive
changes in the marketplace and a need for new approaches.

Materials to help Partners forge relationships with schools – materials for
assembly presentations and classroom groups on the subject. These will
be designed to provide useful help to schools and Partners will be able to
over-brand the materials.

Partners will be able to participate in the design of the new on-line
service.
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14. 
The status of Founding Partner is permanent and will be recognised on
the website for as long as the site runs.
Targets: 43 law and mediation firms have so far joined up as Founding Partners
and our target is 75. The target is for each Founding Partner to raise at least
£2,000 for Kids in the Middle during 2014.
Three-years: We will invite all Founding Partners to continue their association
through 2015 and 2016, raising £2,000 also in each of those years. This longerterm approach allows firms to build up their local marketing better than a oneyear initiative could do.
Fund-raising tactics: We will provide advice to local firms on fundraising tactics.
Fundraising events: Some firms are organising
local fundraising events or participating in local
fundraising events (half marathons, very
muddy activities, etc.) In addition, Kids in the
Middle will organise a calendar of national
events in which family lawyers and mediators
and young people can participate, all designed
to make raising £2,000 easy and fun. A
centrepiece will be a 3 Peaks UK Challenge
event (in three separate days to enable
participation by children). This was the idea of
Bethan, aged 11, who will lead the challenge in
July.
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15. Date
(2014 dates.
2015 dates tbc.)
Event
Entry fee
Cost of travel &
accomm
(covered from
sponsorship raised or by
firm/participant in
advance)
Minimum sum
required by Skyline as
donation to KITM
Any weekend
Skydive (at airfields around
the country)
£70
£185
£140
19 -23 July
Kids in the Middle Three Peaks £99
Challenge in Three Days (event
for adults and children)
London-Paris bike ride
£99
n/a – people make own
arrangements
n/a
£725
£725
London-Brighton bike ride
Petra Trek, Jordan
Desert Trek, India
£50
£1050
???
£50
£1050
???
18-22 June
9-13 July
13-17 Aug
3-7 Sept
(4 possible dates)
14 Sept
8-12 Oct
Dec (dates tbc)
Business plan, March 2014
£35
£199
???
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16. 8.3 National appeal to family lawyers and mediators
We will appeal to every family lawyer and mediator in the UK whose firm is not a
Founding Partner to make a one-time donation £50-£100 to one campaign by a
child. We have a database of over 5,000 lawyers and mediators with whom we
are already in contact.
8.4 Large law firms
We will approach the five largest law firms to make bigger donations to the
campaign. We will ask them to make Kids in the Middle their charity of the year
in 2014, 2015 or 2016.
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17. 9. Management
The current Trustees of the charity are:

Peter Gavan MA (Oxon), FRSA , MCIJ. Managing Partner of Strategic
Judgement, a business and communication consultancy. Former director
for Corporate Affairs of three FTSE 100 companies - National Grid Group,
Invensys, Severn Trent. Former director for Corporate Affairs, Viridian
Group, Total (UK). Former director, Burson Marsteller, issue and crisis
management consultancy. Former lobby correspondent and political
leader writer, Evening Standard. Former public member Network Rail,
former advisory director Relate, former chairman Oxford Cyrenians.
Currently Pastoral Committee member, Stratford-upon-Avon School.

Ivar Grey FCA. Having retired from KPMG, Ivar has worked substantially
in the public and voluntary sector, particularly in Cardiff where he lives.
He is a member of the Competition Commission, a non-executive Director
of Finance Wales PLC (and chair of the audit committee), a non-executive
director of the Cardiff & Vale Local Health Board (and chair of the audit
committee), a Trustee and Governor of Port Regis School. He has also
been Chair of the Gwent Healthcare NHS Trust, member of the Welsh
Communities Investment Fund and financial advisor to Prince’s Trust
Cymru.

Andy Taurins. A professionally qualified civil engineer (Imperial College)
who, over the last three decades, has founded and/or Chaired a large
number of private sector companies ranging from mineral water
production and distribution, publishing, electronics, training and
development etc. Currently he chairs two specialist electronics companies
in the west Midlands, a building company and a property development
company both in south Wales, and is Chief Executive of management
consultancy firm Taurins, Taylor Associates which he has led since 1977.
He is, amongst others, a Fellow of the Institute of Consulting, a Fellow of
the Institute of Welsh Affairs and Latvian Honorary Consult to Wales.
The Project Director is Duncan Fisher OBE. Duncan is a social entrepreneur
who conceived of Kids in the Middle. Duncan has a long track record in
developing new organisations, for example, the Fatherhood Institute and The
Travel Foundation. (See uk.linkedin.com/in/duncanfisher).
Family lawyers and mediators who are Founding Partners are advising on all
aspects of the project through meetings and on-line conversation.
A professional fundraising advisor, Sarah Eite, has been consulted about the
design of the fundraising campaign.
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18. 10. SWOT
Strengths
Support base among family lawyers and mediators
Ability to engage young people
Weaknesses
Vulnerability of a start-up
Response: Good leadership, good management, good strategy
Opportunities Change in marketplace driving some law and mediation firms to
more outreach
Success of Beatbullying in pioneering new on-line youth services
Threats
Income too slow so sustain enthusiasm and momentum
Response: Mobilise intensively with Founding Partners.
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