2. It’s not easy People don’t wake up as men at a certain point in their life… It’s an acquired art that takes a lot of time and focus to master You may have to do some things that you don’t like at first, but also may grow into enjoying certain traits and habits down the road. This is a step-by-step guide into your manhood…
3. Step 1: Plant the seeds of a man beard People will not recognize your manhood until you grow a beard. Great beards are a timely process and must be cultivated skillfully “the starter beard”
4. Step 1a: Let it grow, man.. As you age, your beard will fill in. One might hope as well as this… A great example of why mansformation takes awhile… “the man beard”
5. Step 2: Dress Like a Man A man doesn’t dare utter words like “Banana Republic” or “Express”… Mastering the look is the first step to being recognized as a man. It allows those that observe you the chance to perceive your manness from afar without even hearing you speak (although this too is very important and we will cover that later) Let’s go over a few acceptable wardrobes…
6. Step 2: Dress Like a Man This is a good look for the mysterious man. It’s subtle, yet tough enough to indicate you’re not a man who wants to be messed around with. Man casual aka “the rap star”
7. Step 2: Dress Like a Man The formal yet full bearded executive look. For the man who must conduct daily business in proper attire or works as an international espionage.
8. Step 2: Dress Like a Man “The rancher”, a look for the blue collar man who’s makin’ an honest living… Also good casual wear for the man-xecutive in the previous slide
9. Step 2: Dress Like a Man For the nautical man there is the sea captain. Often pulled off best with a pipe. Is fashionable on both land and sea!
10. Step 3: Diet and Nutrition Men never eat salad and usually pass on most vegetables. Men never drink wine or mixed drinks. Men always eat first. If at dinner with a woman, men always pick up the check… not because it’s nice, but because as a signal of power and to show how well off we are as a race. Men never clean their plates… ever.
11. Step 3: Diet and Nutrition It is best to kill your own food. Target the biggest possible animals (such as cows, bison, and elk) to enforce the most power possible in taking the life of your food. A respectable feast will ensue
12. Step 3: Diet and Nutrition Acceptable drinks include most beers (light beer is a huge no-no), whiskey, scotch, rum, and everclear. If unsure about a certain beverage, make sure it is at least 40% alcohol by volume (if not a beer of course). Stay away from imports, drink American.
13. Step 4: Habits and Activities Get used to chewing tobacco. All forms are brand tobacco are fine, but do not ever use pouches or snus. Never let anyone tell you to spit your dip out.. It’s your right as a man to choose when you’re going to end your satisfaction.
14. Step 4: Habits and Activities Go to the gym as often as possible. Muscle reveals a man’s willingness to fight and machine his way through life rather than use his brain to achieve things. Bigger is always better, in any situation. Do not grunt while lifting. People will recognize your presence anyway and be impressed that you can lift heavy weights without grimmacing.
15. Step 4: Habits and Activities When you’re done killing your food and working on your rock solid bod, take some time at night to go to a bar. Bars are one of the greatest places to discuss man stuff and learn from fellow men. When a man is in a bind (socially, physically, or intellectually) he will not think of anything he learned at school, but rather from his trustworthy bar friends.
16. Step 5: Listen to Toby Keith Country music is the best music for men because it puts our daily struggles and triumph into poetry. Rap and Rock are also great, but lets stick to the basics…
17. Step 6: Language Men never ask questions, it’s best to speak in brief power asserting statements. Here are some fictional scenarios and how to get around asking questions… Ordering food – “I’ll get a steak, medium-rare.” In class (instead of how do i…?) – “show me how to get the right answer” Asking for a spot at the gym – “hold the bar while I lift this weight” Asking out a woman on a date – “lets get a drink sometime”
18. Step 6: Language We never apologize or admit fault. Even if your wrong about something (it happens), it’s important to stand by your words because our integrity is at risk. Stubbornness is a good quality, despite people telling you otherwise. It’s a way of saying, “hey I’m not right, but I don’t admit weakness… ever.”
19. Step 7: Master of Manology Mansformation may seem simple on paper, but it is really hard to master manhood until your 30’s. (It takes a lot of trial and error). Make yourself a daily checklist. Remember to do things like leaving the toilet seat up and pile up the dirty dishes in the sink. Never shower before your first class, men don’t wake up until 5 minutes before they need to start their day… but you don’t want to be late to class either. The shower is the loser here.
20. Step 7: Master of Manology Stay updated on current supplements in order to maximize your physique. Also buy magazines like “Muscular Development” and “Flex” to increase your vast knowledge of bro-science. Use old spice. It’s okay to smell good if you’re doing it for yourself and not to impress anyone else.
21. Step 7: Master of Manology Never disrespect a woman. While they have no possible chance of becoming a man, they are our friends. We are never to convey our emotions to them or let down the walls of our tough exterior, but we must always realize that without them we do not exist. A man has a soft spot for only two women in a given lifetime, his mother and his girl. It is only okay to reveal emotion to these two women!
22. Step 8: Graduation If you’ve mastered this beginners process, you are ready to roam the earth as a man. It’s like trading in a Prius for an F-350. It’s time to take that mangine for a test drive. Enjoy!
