3. I began my journey arriving in Sydney, excited as monkey in a scorpion pit. I wandered around the city, taking in the sights from the Sydney opera house to the Sydney Harbour bridge…even though they’re right beside each other. Next I went to the Chinese garden of friendship just because it was fun to say in an Asian accent. I went out to Hunter region to visit all of the different vineyards and what not then went back to the city to see what else I could do
4. Finally I decided it would be cool to go to King’s cross because I would feel like Harry Potter. Apparently that was a bad idea, because it’s the red light district. Within 3 minutes of arriving, I saw the mayor of Australia, a surprising encoutner. But before I could even say hi, a group of men jumped out and shot him. Shocked and in disbelief, all I could do is stare from across the street. The men quickly noticed me, so I attempted to run, but a sharp pain hit my in my shoulder. I reached back and pulled out a dart. Tranquilizer…damn…
6. The Earth moved up and down below me, which struck me as strange, but I couldn’t open my eyes to figure out why. As I came to, I realized was tied up and blindfolded on a boat. Several hands grabbed me and I was lifted up. For a second I felt myself floating through the air, but then I hit water and realized what had happened. Thinking quickly, I reached into my back pocket for my pocket knife, finally useful for something other than opening beer bottles. Cutting my way to freedom (which sounds really emo, but I was actually cutting the ropes), I quickly swam to the surface, only to see the boat far off in the distance. Luckily, there was an island nearby which I quickly swam to.
7. The island was covered in rainforest, densely packed and teeming with life. I began to wander around and saw a multitude of birds all around. I found a downed tree and cut myself a snorkel from it. I retuned to the beach and jumped into the water. Before me was a massive coral reef with fish teeming all around the reef. Hungry, I returned to shore and spotted a saltwater crocodile. Figuring, eh, what the hell, I sharpened a stick and snuck up on it. I jumped at it and tried to stab the croc with it, but my stick just broke…Realizing how screwed I was, I quickly scrambled up a tree. The crocodile snapped away at the bottom, but I was safe…safe until a torresian imperial pigeon decided to dive bomb me. I fell down the tree, landing straddling the croc. Remembering what I had seen the crocodile hunter do, I covered its eyes and quickly clamped it’s mouth shut near the hinges of the jaws. Feeling victorious I grinned, until I realized I was now straddling a deadly animal that I could not let go of. The stupid pigeon flew down and started pecking at the crocodile, obviously pissing him off. Feeling slightly bad for the beast, I grabbed half of my broken stick and batted it like A-rod. I swear that the croc smiled, so I carefully let it go and he slithered away. Realizing I was still really hungry, I looked around for food, quickly realizing I had climbed a coconut tree. After several failed attempts to climb it again, I just threw rocks at the coconuts until once fell down. I then jumped into the water and began swimming towards what I assumed was west.
9. I woke up with the waves lapping at my feet. As I came to, I looked up to see a penis dangling in my face. Taken aback, I jumped backwards back into the ocean. Apparently I had stumbled onto the northern part of some Australian beach, because all around me, naked people were tanning on the beach. They began to swarm around me to see if I was ok, but being disturbed, I quickly began running south, leading them to think I was a crazy hobo. I wandered into the city, strangely reminded of Florida. Asking around, I quickly realized I was in Brisbane, Capital of Queensland. The friendly people quickly helped me after I told them what had happened. I spent a week there, surfing, Bbqing, and some other things I don’t exactly remember. The night my flight was set to take off, someone started to get rowdy with my new friends at a bar. Trying to diffuse the situation, I stepped between them, only to realize the people who they were fighting were the same people who had kidnapped me. Unfortunately, I realized this right as a fist came at my face, knocking me out
11. I woke up shirtless surrounded by sand. This constant waking up in random places was seriously getting annoying, and my head was now pounding. I got up and walked towards a giant monolith rising in the distance. As I walked, snakes slithered by. Knowing Australia to be the only place in the world with more venomous snakes than harmless ones, I was extremely wary. After a day of walking, gathering fluids from various desert plants, I reached Ayer’s rock. I started climbing the rock, figuring someone had to visit it sometime. After an arduous climb, I finally reached the top, seeing the amazing view. About evening, someone else finally reached the top. Explaining my situation, they helped me get back to Queensland, where I got on the first plane out of there…which happened to be to Japan, but that’s another story…
