This presentation provides information to parents on bullying prevention. It defines bullying and different types. It outlines signs that a child may be bullying others or being bullied. The presentation teaches parents how to "bullyproof" their child by being positive role models, getting involved in their child's life, and teaching good social skills. It provides guidance on what to do if a parent suspects their child is bullying others or being bullied, including working with the school and seeking outside help. Resources for help with bullying situations are also listed.

1. Bullying Prevention
Workshop for Parents
Amanda Nickerson, Ph.D.
Associate Professor and Director
Alberti Center for Bullying Abuse Prevention
University at Buffalo
alberticenter@buffalo.edu
gse.buffalo.edu/alberticenter

2. Key Points of Presentation
• What is Bullying?
• Recognize the Warning Signs
• “Bullyproofing” My Child
• My Child is Being Bullied
• My Child Might Be Bullying Others
• How Do I Get Help?

3. What is Bullying?

4. What is Bullying?
Intentional, usually repeated
acts of verbal, physical, or
written aggression by a peer
(or group of peers) operating
from a position of strength or
power with the goal of hurting
the victim physically or
damaging status and/or social
reputation
Olweus (1978); United States Department of Education (1998)

5. What are the Different
Types of Bullying?
• Physical bullying
o punching, shoving, acts that hurt people
• Verbal bullying
o name calling, making offensive remarks
• Indirect bullying
o spreading rumors, excluding, ganging up
• Cyber bullying
o sending insulting messages, pictures or threats by
e-mail, text messaging, chat rooms
Hinduja & Patchin (2009)

6. How is Bullying Different
from Teasing and Conflict?
Bullying: Based on a power
imbalance; intent to cause
psychological or physical harm;
usually repeated
Teasing: Fun, good-natured,
“give-and-take” between friends
to get both parties to laugh
Conflict: A
struggle, dispute, or
misunderstanding between
two equal forces

7. When and Where
Does Bullying Occur?
• Pre-K through late high school (and beyond); peaks
in grades 4-7
• Can happen anywhere, but it is most likely to occur
in less closely supervised areas (bus, locker
room, hallways, playground, online)

8. Is Bullying Different
in Boys and Girls?
• Boys
o More direct, physical bullying
o Bully more frequently than girls
o Bully both boys and girls
• Girls
o More indirect (harder to detect)
o Often occurs in groups and with girls of same age
o Cyberbullying slightly more common than for males
Banks (2000); Cook, Williams, Guerra, Kim, & Sadek, (2010); Crick & Grotpeter, (1995); Hinduja & Patchi (2009);
Hoover & Oliver, (1996); Nansel et al., (2001); Olweus, (2002); Underwood, (2003)

9. What do we Know about
Students who Bully?
• Desire for power and control
• Get satisfaction from others’ suffering
• Justify their behavior (“he deserved it”)
• More exposed to physical punishment
• More likely to be depressed
• May have other problem behaviors (alcohol and
drug use, fighting)
Batsche & Knoff (1994); Beaver, Perron, & Howard, (2010); Olweus (1993);
Swearer et al. (in press); Vaughn, Bender, DeLisi, (in press)

10. Recognize the
Warning Signs

11. What are Signs that Child
May be Bullying Others?
• Refer to others negatively (wimp, loser)
• Lack empathy
• Strong need to get his or her own way
• Hostile/defiant attitude
• Anger easily
• Deny involvement or blame others when behavior is
addressed

12. What are Characteristics of
Children who are Bullied?
• Have a position of relative weakness
o Age, ethnic background, financial status, disability, sexual orientation
• Most are passive and lack assertiveness
o Do nothing to invite aggression
o Do not fight back when attached
o May relate better to adults than peers
• Some provoke others
o Offend, irritate, tease others
o Reactive; fight back when attacked
Boivin, Poulin, & Vitaro (1994); Hodges & Perry (1999);
Olweus (1978, 1993, 2001); Schwartz (2000); Snyder et al. (2003)

13. What are Kids Bullied About?
• Appearance/body size
• Perceived sexual orientation
• How masculine or feminine they appear to be
• Ability at school (“invisible” disabilities)
• Race/ethnicity
• Money
• Religion
“If they look different, love different, or walk different”
- Kevin Jennings

14. What are Signs that
Child May be Bullied
• Unexplained illnesses, cuts/bruises
• Not wanting to go to school or be in social situations
• Any change in behavior
o Not interested in doing things that he/she used to like doing
o Withdrawn

15. What are Consequences for
Youth who Bully?
• More likely to experience legal or criminal troubles
as adults
• Poor ability to develop and maintain positive
relationships in later life
Andershed, Kerr, & Stattin (2001); Farrington (2009);
Farrington, & Ttofi (2009, 2011); Oliver, Hoover, & Hazler
(1994); Olweus (1993); Ttofi & Farrington (2008)

16. What are Consequences for
Targets of Bullying?
• Emotional distress
• Loneliness, peer rejection
• Desire to avoid school
• Increased anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation; low
self-esteem
• In some cases, may respond with extreme violence
Boivin, Hymel, & Bukowski (1995);
Boulton & Underwood (1992);
Crick & Bigbee (1998);
Egan & Perry (1998);
Hinduja, & Patchin, (2009);
Kochenderfer & Ladd (1996);
Nickerson & Sltater (2009);
Olweus (1993); Perry et al. (1988)

17. “Bullyproofing”
My Child

18. Be a Positive Role Model
• Talk with and listen to your child (about school,
peers, interests
• Listen to and validate concerns about friends and
other students
• Treat others with dignity and respect
• Avoid using derogatory terms toward or about
others in person and/or electronically
(View Think Before You Speak video)
Hymel, Nickerson, & Swearer Education.com

19. Get and Stay Involved
• Get involved in school, in community, and at home
o Do so in a developmentally appropriate way (mindful of child’s and
school’s preference)
• Visit school’s website and read newsletters
• Know the school’s policies in terms of bullying
prevention and intervention
• Join the PTA and volunteer
• Attend extracurricular and sporting events
o Support child’s talents and competence
o Get to know coaches, counselors, and leaders

20. Teach Children Good Habits
Early and Consistently
• Have high expectations for behavior and a low
tolerance for being mean
• Be specific about how specific words and behaviors
can hurt others
• Teach better ways to respond
(All feelings are OK –
but not all behaviors are OK)
• Emphasize the importance
of being a friend

21. Bullying, Friendship, and
Relationships
Visit gse.buffalo.edu/alberticenter
for other resources and conversation starters

22. Teach Children to be
Upstanders, not Bystanders
• Don’t join in… speak up if it is safe to do so
• Band together as a group against bullies
• Tell an adult about the bullying
o Tattling/ratting = telling an adult to get someone in trouble
o Telling/reporting = telling an adult because someone’s behavior is unsafe
or hurtful to another
• Reach out to isolated peers, offer support
• See http://wearethesolution.net

23. Cyberbullying Prevention
• Teach responsible use of technology
o Only communicate things that you would be OK
about your parents seeing
o Follow rules (no Facebook under age of 13)
o Beware of anonymous sites like Formspring
o Use the “off” switch
• Do not respond to upsetting communications
• Supervise and limit activities (no 24/7)
o Have computers in common areas (not in
bedroom)
o Know child’s password
o Be friend on Facebook
o Bring cell phones, computers to parents’ room to
charge overnight

24. My Child is
Being Bullied

25. If Your Child is Being Bullied
(View From the Mouth of Youth video)
• Listen and empathize
o “Tell me what happened”
o “That must have been very scary for you”
o Thank child for telling you
• Take it seriously
o Do not minimize of trivialize

26. If Your Child is Being Bullied
• Work with child to find out more about situation and
to problem-solve
o Responses like “just ignore it,” “give him a good whack,” what did you do
to bother him or her?” won’t help
• Work in partnership with school and with outside
professionals if needed
• Follow-up

27. My Child Might Be
Bullying Others

28. If Your Child is Bullying Others
• Send clear, firm, and supportive message that the
behavior is not OK and that you are going to work
with child to change it (meaningful consequences)
• Try to figure out why your child is bullying
o Desire for social power or status?
o Temperament issue that needs more adult regulation?
o Going along with peers?
o Being bullied by others and lashing out?

29. If Your Child is Bullying Others
• Work with teacher or counselor to plan for change
o Involve child in developing alternate behaviors or ideas to gain leadership
and “social status” that don’t involve bullying others
• Provide specific examples (from your experience;
carefully screened books and media)

30. How Do I Get Help?

31. Know that there are
Resources Available
Local Resources for Families
• Family Resource Centers (Cleveland Hill 836-7200 Ext. 8363)
• Catholic Charities – 218-1400
• Child & Adolescent Treatment Services Intake – 835-780
• Child & Family Services – 842-750
• Prevention Focus/Teen Focus – 884-3256
• Erie County Council for the Prevention of Alcohol & Substance
Abuse – 831-2298
• Mental Health Association of Erie County – 886-1242
• Police (911)
Referrals for Students in Crisis
• 1-800-273-TALK (Suicide Lifeline)
• 1-866-4-U-Trevor (LGBTQ Youth Suicide Hotline)
• 716-834-1144 or 1-877-KIDS-400 (Buffalo Crisis Services Hotline)

32. Questions?
Thank you for your attention and interest!
To make the best use of our
time, please make sure your
question is…
1. A question, rather than a
statement
1. Something I am likely to
be able to answer
For more resources, please visit us at gse.buffalo.edu/alberticenter