Bullying:                                                                   
What It Is and What We Can Do



     Amanda Nickerson, Ph.D.
     Rebecca Ligman, M.S.Ed.
     Alberti Center for Bullying Abuse Prevention | University at Buffalo

     alberticenter@buffalo.edu
     gse.buffalo.edu/alberticenter



                                Presentation Site
                                Presentation Date
Overview

 What is bullying?


 What you can do to:
   Prevent it from happening
   Help yourself if it is happening to you
   Help others if it is happening to them
What Is Bullying?

 Being mean or hurtful to another kid who has a
   hard time defending him/herself

 It usually happens over and over

 It is NOT the same as a disagreement among friends
   or playful teasing where both people think it is
   funny
What Does Bullying Look Like?

 Can be:
   Physical (shoving, kicking)
   Verbal (name calling, threatening)
   Indirect (gossiping, excluding)
   Cyber (posting rumors, sharing embarrassing
     pictures – through text, Internet, or other
     electronics)
Is This Bullying? Why or Why Not?

   Two friends working on a class project disagree about
     how to divide up the work. One friend gets upset and
     calls the other a stupid jerk. The next day, the two barely
     speak to each other.

   A clique of popular girls makes friends with a new
     student and then decide to ignore her. The leader of the
     clique begins telling others that the new girl steals other
     people’s boyfriends and is a tease.

   A group of students who like to joke around sit together
     at lunch. The group often makes fun of one of the
     students at the table who is confused by their joking.
What Do We Know about Students Who Bully?

       They may think that…
         bullying makes them cool and popular
         they are better than others
         they can use their power to hurt others


       They may have…
         learned how to bully others from their families,
           friends, and/or the media
         other problems (fighting, using alcohol and
           other drugs, getting in trouble with the law)
What Do We Know about Students Who Are Bullied?


        They may think that they are…
            Different
            Powerless
            Alone


        They may have…
            Feelings of sadness and self-blame
            Problems concentrating
            Physical complaints (headache, stomach problems) and
             not want to go to school or be around other kids
            A tendency to bully others
What Are Kids Bullied About?

   Video clip from Cartoon Network Stop Bullying: Speak Up
    Special
    (www.cartoonnetwork.com/promos/stopbullying)
What Are Kids Bullied About?

 Why were kids in the video clip bullied

 What other things might kids get bullied
   about?
(Note: Please do NOT use names or specific
examples that others will identify)

What Can You Do?
To Prevent It from Happening…

 Treat others with respect
    Use kind words
    Think before you speak (or type or text)

 Recognize when you are feeling frustrated,
   angry, or wanting to be mean to someone
    Find another way to handle it (focus on something
      else, talk to a friend or adult, write down how you
      feel)

 If you have hurt someone else, take
   responsibility and try to make up for it
   (apologize, offer to help)
Help Yourself if It Is Happening to You

      Depending on the situation and your
        comfort:
         Try not to show it if it makes you upset, as that could
            make it worse
           Stand up straight, look the person in the eye, and
            say “Stop”(or “Get a life,” “Enough,” “Give it a rest”)
            in a calm, clear voice
           Say something to deflect it or make a joke of it
           Report it to a trusted adult
           Stay close to adults and trusted peers/friends
Learn More About It




Visit gse.buffalo.edu/alberticenter
Did You Know?
 Youth see about 85% of bullying incidents, but
    most do nothing or join in


   Video clip from Dateline NBC My Kid Would Never Bully
    Special
    (www.youtube.com/watch?v=n4kh4r99ZkI)
Help Others if It Is Happening to Them

       Don’t join in… speak up if it is safe to do so

       Band together as a group against the bullying (“That’s
          not OK,” “Just stop already,” “Hey – he’s cool – don’t
          bother him,” “We don’t do that here”)
       Tell an adult about the bullying
         Tattling/ratting = telling an adult to get someone in
             trouble
         Telling/reporting = telling an adult because someone’s
             behavior is unsafe or hurtful to another

       Reach out to someone being bullied (“I am sorry that
          happened,” “Want to hang out?” “Don’t believe what
          they say”)
Help Others if It Is Happening to Them

         Video clip from Dateline NBC The Perils of Parenthood Special
          (www.youtube.com/watch?v=pEjVsMtf1d0)
What about Cyberbullying?
 Be a good “digital citizen”
      Only write things you would be OK about an adult seeing
      Electronic communication is PERMANENT!
      Report abuse

 It is against the law for websites to have personal
   information about kids under the age of 13
   (Facebook)
 Beware of anonymous sites (Formspring, etc.)
 Use the “off” switch
      Disconnect and give yourself a break (no 24/7)
      Do not respond to upsetting communications
Know that You Can Make a Difference!
   “Be the change you want to see in the world”
        - Gandhi


   Video of Cypress Ranch High School The Cy Ranch Lip Dub Project
   (www.youtube.com/watch?v=waAqJ6727Hk)
Reach out for Help

Talk to teacher, parent, counselor, therapist



 1-800-273-TALK (Suicide Lifeline)
 1-866-4-U-Trevor (LGBTQ Youth Suicide Hotline)
 716-834-1144 or 1-877-KIDS-400 (Buffalo Crisis
   Services Hotline)
Resources
The following resources were used in developing this presentation:
   www.stopbullying.gov

   www.education.com/topic/school-bullying-teasing

   http://gse.buffalo.edu/alberticenter

   Cartoon Network Stop Bullying: Speak Up Special

   Dateline NBC My Kid Would Never Bully Special

   Dateline NBC The Perils of Parenting Special

   Cypress Ranch High School The Cy Ranch Lip Dub Project

   Newman, Horne, & Bartolomucci (2000). Bully Busters: A Teacher’s Manual for
    Helping Bullies, Victims, and Bystanders (Grades 6-8). Research Press.



For more resources, please visit us at gse.buffalo.edu/alberticenter
Questions?

Alberti Center Sample Presentation for Students

  • 1.
    Bullying:  What It Is and What We Can Do Amanda Nickerson, Ph.D. Rebecca Ligman, M.S.Ed. Alberti Center for Bullying Abuse Prevention | University at Buffalo alberticenter@buffalo.edu gse.buffalo.edu/alberticenter Presentation Site Presentation Date
  • 2.
    Overview  What isbullying?  What you can do to:  Prevent it from happening  Help yourself if it is happening to you  Help others if it is happening to them
  • 3.
    What Is Bullying? Being mean or hurtful to another kid who has a hard time defending him/herself  It usually happens over and over  It is NOT the same as a disagreement among friends or playful teasing where both people think it is funny
  • 4.
    What Does BullyingLook Like?  Can be:  Physical (shoving, kicking)  Verbal (name calling, threatening)  Indirect (gossiping, excluding)  Cyber (posting rumors, sharing embarrassing pictures – through text, Internet, or other electronics)
  • 5.
    Is This Bullying?Why or Why Not?  Two friends working on a class project disagree about how to divide up the work. One friend gets upset and calls the other a stupid jerk. The next day, the two barely speak to each other.  A clique of popular girls makes friends with a new student and then decide to ignore her. The leader of the clique begins telling others that the new girl steals other people’s boyfriends and is a tease.  A group of students who like to joke around sit together at lunch. The group often makes fun of one of the students at the table who is confused by their joking.
  • 6.
    What Do WeKnow about Students Who Bully?  They may think that…  bullying makes them cool and popular  they are better than others  they can use their power to hurt others  They may have…  learned how to bully others from their families, friends, and/or the media  other problems (fighting, using alcohol and other drugs, getting in trouble with the law)
  • 7.
    What Do WeKnow about Students Who Are Bullied?  They may think that they are…  Different  Powerless  Alone  They may have…  Feelings of sadness and self-blame  Problems concentrating  Physical complaints (headache, stomach problems) and not want to go to school or be around other kids  A tendency to bully others
  • 8.
    What Are KidsBullied About?  Video clip from Cartoon Network Stop Bullying: Speak Up Special (www.cartoonnetwork.com/promos/stopbullying)
  • 9.
    What Are KidsBullied About?  Why were kids in the video clip bullied  What other things might kids get bullied about? (Note: Please do NOT use names or specific examples that others will identify)
  • 10.
  • 11.
    To Prevent Itfrom Happening…  Treat others with respect  Use kind words  Think before you speak (or type or text)  Recognize when you are feeling frustrated, angry, or wanting to be mean to someone  Find another way to handle it (focus on something else, talk to a friend or adult, write down how you feel)  If you have hurt someone else, take responsibility and try to make up for it (apologize, offer to help)
  • 12.
    Help Yourself ifIt Is Happening to You  Depending on the situation and your comfort:  Try not to show it if it makes you upset, as that could make it worse  Stand up straight, look the person in the eye, and say “Stop”(or “Get a life,” “Enough,” “Give it a rest”) in a calm, clear voice  Say something to deflect it or make a joke of it  Report it to a trusted adult  Stay close to adults and trusted peers/friends
  • 13.
    Learn More AboutIt Visit gse.buffalo.edu/alberticenter
  • 14.
    Did You Know? Youth see about 85% of bullying incidents, but most do nothing or join in  Video clip from Dateline NBC My Kid Would Never Bully Special (www.youtube.com/watch?v=n4kh4r99ZkI)
  • 15.
    Help Others ifIt Is Happening to Them  Don’t join in… speak up if it is safe to do so  Band together as a group against the bullying (“That’s not OK,” “Just stop already,” “Hey – he’s cool – don’t bother him,” “We don’t do that here”)  Tell an adult about the bullying  Tattling/ratting = telling an adult to get someone in trouble  Telling/reporting = telling an adult because someone’s behavior is unsafe or hurtful to another  Reach out to someone being bullied (“I am sorry that happened,” “Want to hang out?” “Don’t believe what they say”)
  • 16.
    Help Others ifIt Is Happening to Them  Video clip from Dateline NBC The Perils of Parenthood Special (www.youtube.com/watch?v=pEjVsMtf1d0)
  • 17.
    What about Cyberbullying? Be a good “digital citizen”  Only write things you would be OK about an adult seeing  Electronic communication is PERMANENT!  Report abuse  It is against the law for websites to have personal information about kids under the age of 13 (Facebook)  Beware of anonymous sites (Formspring, etc.)  Use the “off” switch  Disconnect and give yourself a break (no 24/7)  Do not respond to upsetting communications
  • 18.
    Know that YouCan Make a Difference! “Be the change you want to see in the world” - Gandhi Video of Cypress Ranch High School The Cy Ranch Lip Dub Project (www.youtube.com/watch?v=waAqJ6727Hk)
  • 19.
    Reach out forHelp Talk to teacher, parent, counselor, therapist  1-800-273-TALK (Suicide Lifeline)  1-866-4-U-Trevor (LGBTQ Youth Suicide Hotline)  716-834-1144 or 1-877-KIDS-400 (Buffalo Crisis Services Hotline)
  • 20.
    Resources The following resourceswere used in developing this presentation:  www.stopbullying.gov  www.education.com/topic/school-bullying-teasing  http://gse.buffalo.edu/alberticenter  Cartoon Network Stop Bullying: Speak Up Special  Dateline NBC My Kid Would Never Bully Special  Dateline NBC The Perils of Parenting Special  Cypress Ranch High School The Cy Ranch Lip Dub Project  Newman, Horne, & Bartolomucci (2000). Bully Busters: A Teacher’s Manual for Helping Bullies, Victims, and Bystanders (Grades 6-8). Research Press. For more resources, please visit us at gse.buffalo.edu/alberticenter
  • 21.

Editor's Notes

  • #20 NOTE: INSERT INFORMATION FROM DAVE.