1. /
/ an eye is the simplest way to see.
did you feel the weight of it come upon you?
the spark, the self, the thought:
"i am"
somewhere in this perpetual fingerpaint
did you know?
little lit candle behind grandmother's pupil
first flicker behind an eye that was not
yet
does the gradient of it spill out
out from when our bodies swallowed smoke?
can you find it through its pull?
in the water, in the springtail, in the root
or is the weight just
grasping for a hand to hold
when the shower runs cold
you're not the most original
and yet
you feel the weight. and its glory.
you
2. /
/ banana country
tocan puruxón kahuich en la tarde
nos da una risa
qué ridículos los winik esos
yo que soy francés (claro que sí, mi tatarabuela)
(de dónde más crees que saco mi nariz de cabeza
olmeca? y el pasto corto de mi patio?)
touch the
cut on the small of your back
of ours
just a lash to blink away
surely at forty you could stop moving
no pain, just the way of things
surely at sixty you should keep moving,
despite the way of things
alguien lee a la doctora cuevas cob
y ay alboroto!
bola de resentidos
táan u jats’ik in wich yéetel u múus iik’ (y qué aliento)
(malix ese)
bananas came on the same boats that took the sisal
away
3. /
/ but my teeth are still sharp
my mother and i call each other "figs"
it's just a pop of phonemes from when i was eight
before i spoke english
and knew my mother fancied herself a wasp
my mother never liked figs
—the fruit i mean—
"the texture is always unexpected" she holds my
hand
yeah, i know
it brushes your palate,
the graveyard of wasps
willing
4. /
/ you can still hear the bells
i sit down (it kills the energy, i know)
carefully disect the nerves
apply blood and bile and brightness as i see fit
hope it burns something inside
outside myself--
--and jingle miserably across the floor
as i imagine the laughter
it is so overwrought
5. /
/ you were meant to eat your velvet
and it's all pink:
the filter on the light,
the fleshy stained-glass drapery,
reflecting the sun like cold water.
no more a part of you than cut hair
as much a sign of who you are
and how you know
that skin must tear
and dry
so crane your neck and climb
with your unsuited hooves
you could've sworn were callused fingers
that knew how to cradle.
it's not what you now know
—but
you remember
swallow your pride
your glory
your blood far beyond your butchered tongue,
little deer
hung up on a tree
pink-antlered
(flesh that eats flesh)
(the inside of your fascia).
(all-red leaves on the tree).
(you had hands and you had fangs).