The document is an American's reaction to a powerpoint presentation about English sweets. In 3 sentences: The document rebuts claims that Americans are missing out on popular English candies like Maltesers, Dairy Milk chocolate, Smarties, Kinder Eggs, Milky Way, Freddos, and Creme Eggs. It notes that many of these treats, such as Whoppers, 3 Musketeers bars, and chocolate bunnies, have equivalents commonly found in the US. While some items like Smarties may only be found near the Canadian border, the document concludes that Americans are generally not missing out on sweets mentioned in the original powerpoint.

1. An American's reaction to
powerpoint about English
sweets
A powerpoint by preparedfordementors

2. Nothing against you, can-u-not-my-wayward-son,
but you're just a little mistaken about how we're
missing out on these treats.
Let me inform you of how we're not missing
out, particularly if you're like me and live in a
Canadian border town.
Also to my fellow Americans who have never
heard of these sweets before, I'll inform you
of what they're like.

3. Maltesers
Maltesers are
malted milk balls. Do
you know what we
have that is the
exact same thing?
Whoppers
Which are really gross in
my opinion, but whatever.

4. Dairy Milk
I have actually seen
Dairy Milk in the store
before. I didn't grab it
because it looked like
just regular chocolate
bar to me, which isn't
what I usually get.
And your argument is
made invalid anyway by
your own slide. You said
that Cadburys was
bought out by an
American company. It
doesn't mean that the
quality of chocolate
that Cadburys makes
here in the States is
different.

5. You know what I actually wish they would sell in
the States that I can only get in Canada?
'Cause that shit is delicious and I pity any
American who has never had one.

6. Smarties
I agree. These are
delicious and even
here, usually I can only
get them across the
border.
I won't insult you by
saying they're the exact
same thing as M&M's.
They're not.
But they are very similar.
It's chocolate surrounded
by a candy shell. They're a
little bigger and have a
crunchier shell. They're
amazing, though.

7. Kinder Eggs
Well, yes, Kinder eggs can't be
sold in the States because of the
small parts in the toys. (Though I
don't understand why we can't just
have the Kinder Joys. That wouldn't
violate any codes. You have to open it
to see what's in it.)
However, not all Kinder products
are banned, I'm happy to say.
But they're not easy to find.
I was in a duty free shop with a
couple of friends and saw a
Kinder chocolate bar (of some
kind) in there. I would have
bought it, but the way a duty
free shop works is that I would
have had to go across the
border and then come back in
order to obey the law (I guess?)
and my friends didn't have their
passports. But it was a king size
and was really huge. It was
beautiful.

8. Milky Way
I saw the picture of the
English Milky Way and
thought “that's just a 3
Musketeers bar.”
So if you've had a 3 Musketeers, you know what
this is. If you haven't had a 3 Musketeers, are you
living under a rock? You're definitely missing
something if you've never had one.

9. Freddos
It's a chocolate frog...
That's essentially the same thing as chocolate
bunnies around Easter or chocolate Santa around
Christmas. I don't see how that's special. I'm just
saying.
(The only advantage I see there is you get them
all year round.)

10. Creme Eggs
Wait, did you actually think we
don't have these? I used to
get, like, 6 a week around
Easter time. Occasionally,
you can find them outside of
Easter season, but not often.
But these things are the
bomb. So fucking delicious,
but I can't have as many as I
used to. They're quite rich.

11. In conclusion, if we don't have it, we're either not
missing out because they suck, because we have
something similar, and/or because we can get it
quite easily.
I do feel bad for the people who don't live near a
Canadian border and therefore can't get some of
these, like Smarties and Caramilk.
(btw, if you ever read this can-u-not-my-wayward-son, I
hope I don't seem mean. The thought to make a reaction
powerpoint came in my head when I read your
powerpoint. Hope you don't mind too much.)