3. Having this need, there is a great chance for a newcommer to rush head first. There is a chance to meet mistresses (online or in person) and only due to the interest, just rush to fulfill this desire. Without really knowing that person at all.
4. It is not the time to seak for ”one and only, true master”. Spend time to know yourself and your needs. What you want, what you are. In other words, before rushing into something, read. Read a lot.
5.
6. Without the knowledge of your options, you won't know what you want. You don't want someone else to make that decision for you. You are the one that has to figure out what is best for you and what you want in a partner. The books and sites on the subject are numerous, so use them to find out all you can.
7.
8. Once you do your reading, go down to clubs and meetings and talk to other submissives. Don't be afraid, don't be shy. Everybody was a newcommer once. Everyone needs the initial shove. Don't be afraid you'll do or say something stupid, we are talking about the place singleminded people come to chat.
9. Talk to both dominants and submissives. Ask them questions, inquire, get advice, find out what they do, howo they live. Don't forget though that a ”submissive veteran” might not always give you the best advice. Here is my example:
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11. I really can't fathom a reason to make my Master look bad on the job thanks to the wrinkled shirt, or not to have a clean glass when guests come. It would show me in a bad light but, even worse, it would make Him look really bad, too. So, not every advice is a good advice. Take every advice, but accept only the ones you like.
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13. There is a saying ”respect must be earned”. That is just not right. Remember the things mom and dad taught you? Be polite, talk nicely, use proper titles, show respect, that is something you want to do. You do it when you enter a supermarket, and it is only natural to be respectful to other people.
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15. As a child, I learned to be respectful to people. It doesn't matter their age or social status, just to be respectful. And I am. Unless someone does something to lose my respect, of course.
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17. When you are done reading, and start meeting new people, you will need to find out where they stand. Inquire, figure out what they expect, what they want, how compatible you two actually are. You don't want to end up with someone that wants completely different things from you. Find out where they stand on the D/s, S/M, safewords, safe sex, relationship dynamics, types of play, the limits, etc. Tinf out as much as you can.
18. When it comes to a life together, there is naturally important to know if that someone is a good person. It doesn't matter only if he or she is a good Master or Mistress, you are interested in all the things everyone is. You are talking about sharing life, you need to know about all those things you thought before even figuring out you are submissive.
19. There is sure to come to a lot of change in this kind of relationship. You will need to get used to it. That doesn't mean you actually have to agree on everything. There are just some things you won't budge from, and you do have to make your point on them. It's good to make a compromise, but make sure what points are really important. You don't want to end up in a bad situation.
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21. Don't expest your dominant to read your mind. Just giving hints to what you want isn't always enough, quite often it is worthless. You have to ask for what you want if they can't guess. Sure, it would be ideal if your Master or Mistress just knew this, but it just doesn't work that way. They are people too, after all. And if they don't know it, you probably won't get it, right?
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23. Ideally, he or she will be willing to go slowly and not try to push your limits the first several times you’re together. Again, ALWAYS play with a safe word, and have safe calls set up. He or she shouldn’t think you’re a “wimp” or “unworthy” because you are new and taking precautions. If they do, then he/ she is the “unworthy one”.
24. Remember you both have lives, families, friends, things you have to do. This is not a play, this is life. So don't lose yourself in the game, be aware of your responsibilities.
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26. Have fun, find out new things, experiment, and be happy. Be reasonable, make it safe, and consensual. That is the way to go about it.
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