Miscommunications and Clarifying Intent

Xxxxx Xxxxxx
4/18/2011
Communication Journal
How you Take it
Sometimes people say things that others take the wrong way.
My chapter advisor for my sorority shut down our house for
three weeks. To find a way to hang out with each other the girls
decided that it would be a fun idea to pitch a tent in front of the
fraternity houses. While making the Phi Mu Mansion, some one
posted on facebook “were just stickin it to the man.” This was
not suppose to be a strike or a defiance towards our chapter
advisor, but she took it that way. She asked us if we did not
want her to be our advisor because if we do things behind her
back then it’s pointless for her to be here for us. Some things
that are said can hurt even though they were not meant to.
Why are You Mad
Sometimes text messaging can cause fights because someone
can not see the emotion of the person on the other side. The
other day I was texting my boyfriend about him moving to
Lafayette. My texts were short and did not say much because I
was not happy about him moving. He asked my a few times
what was wrong but I just veered the conversation in another
direction. Then he asked if I was mad at him for moving, and I
told him that I was not mad just upset that he was leaving.
Watching what you say while texting is a good idea because
anyone can take it in the wrong way.

Ooooops!!!!
Sometimes people have slips of the tongue that can lead to
further arguments. One night me and my boyfriend were laying
in bed having a minor argument and I said something that he
followed up with “why are you always on my back Lindsey (one
of his exs).” I asked him what he just said with a chuckle and
then he started saying im so sorry I did not mean to it was an
accident. I just blew off the fact that he called me her name but
I asked him why he said it. He said that she always was on his
back and never gave way for anything and I was acting like her.
Thank God I just forgave him because I did the same thing the
next week. Some times people say things that they just don’t
mean too.
Words Hurt…
Sometimes things are said that really hurt a person. One day I
was in a meeting for my sorority and someone told me that I
was a disgrace for the chapter. She did not mean for it to sound
bad but it did. I took this to heart and it did not feel all that
great to be called a disgrace. People really need to be mindful
of what they tell others it can really damage someone.
Taking it Out
People in certain circumstances may take their frustration out
on the wrong people. The other day I was frustrated and tired.
Instead of just going and taking a nap I decided to stay and talk
with my family. As I got more tired I became fussy and snapped
at my mom. It was not really towards her I just did not feel all
that great. I guess that I need to watch who I take my frustration
out on.

Here we go again
When someone says something in a tone that is not flattering it
can be taken to be rude. The other day I was talking with a
friend about a fight me and my boyfriend had and she said under
her breath “here we go again.” This did not feel good so I just
ended the conversation and walked off to go to class. It really
hurt that she did not want to hear what I had to say. I know I
would have listened.
I’m riding solo
A person might take what you are saying in a different way then
what you meant. The other day I was riding in my car and the
song solo came on. I was on the phone with my boyfriend at the
time and I started singing. When I said I’m riding solo he
thought that I meant I was single when all I meant was that I
was in my car by myself. We got that cleared up fast.
Sometimes I just need to watch what I say in front of him I
guess.
Wow I didn’t think…..
One day people will fully understand what the other person was
trying to say, but I guess today is not that day. The other day
my friend and I were sitting down talking and I told her that I
was excited for her to graduate. She thought that I was ready for
her to leave. She followed my statement with “Wow I didn’t
think I was such an inconvenience.” I then said no I am happy
for you, you finally get to go out and get a good job like you
want. If only people understood instead of over reacting.

Wrong Number!!!
People sometimes accidentally text the wrong person without
checking who they sent the message to. The other day my friend
was trying to text me about a problem she was having. She sent
her whole story and even got feed back. The next day she heard
someone else talking about it and came up to me and asked why
I told people. I just asked what she was talking about and told
her I never got the message. She then realized that she sent the
text to someone who has a big mouth. She said she felt like such
an idiot after. She now checks who she is sending the message
to before she sends it.
TMI
Sometimes people just give too much information. I was talking
to a random person in one of my classes one day about
boyfriends and such. She then proceeds to tell me about her sex
life and I looked at her funny. She asked what the problem was
and I told her I just met her and did not want to hear about that.
She apologized and said that she did not think that I would have
a problem with it. Guess she was wrong.
Xxxx Xxxxxxxx
Communication Journal
April 17, 2011
COMMUNICATION JOURNALS
In Need of a Perception Check.

Our ears cannot always be trusted; thus, clarifying what has
been said by repeating the message back to the sender and
asking for clarity is always a great aid to our ears. I have
experienced hearing a message which I thought to be true, that
in reality was not. My former boyfriend and I were talking
about working things out and how I should not continue to treat
him in a not nice manner. He said, or what I heard him say,
“...that's when I like you the most, when you're silly.” I took
offense to this thinking he was saying he did not like me when I
was serious, sad, or anything other than being in a joking state;
I kept going on about how I was offended and he acted so
confused. I then asked how could he not expect me to be upset
with him saying he only likes me when i'm silly; of course he
laughed and explained that he had said FRIENDLY, not SILLY,
because he obviously would not like me being a b*tch towards
him. Thus, if I would have said, “Wait, so you're saying you
like me the most when I am silly and not serious, is that right?”
then I could have prevented a minor tiff in our conversation.
Mediated Communication
Entering my first semester of college, I was in a long-distance
relationship; this resulted in a large amount of mediated
communication in my life. The relationship has changed, but it
is still present and so is the mediated communication.
Considering the time from then to now and all the things I have
felt I HAD to say, that is a whole lot of mediated messages.
Recently, I got to see my “man” in person, it was not at all the
first time since the long-distance relationship began, but there
was something very different about it. I had been working hard
on watching how I speak to people and what I say, so the second
I saw him I was overcome with a feeling of embarrassment. I
realized at that moment that everything I was communicating
through mediated messages was not my honest feelings or what

I would say to him in person. I knew that he knew in detail all
the things I had said to him that I regretted, and I did not like
that feeling. At that moment I knew mediated communication is
not my best way of communicating my feelings, wants, needs,
or anything else. I told him that for me to speak to him in a
better way, I needed to stop texting; we started calling each
other instead and our relationship grew to be so much stronger
and happier.
It IS Forever.
I have many times said something I knew I meant, later to
realize I never meant it or should have said it. This has been
done to romantic partners, parents, friends, siblings, and more.
Sometimes I think that I just have to say something or the world
will end; if I do not get it off my chest then the person won't
know and that can't be good, right? Wrong. Every thought that
goes through one's head is not meant to be said, I am sure of
that. I have even said to myself that I should not say this
message I am thinking because it will not end well, but said it
anyway. Obviously, I was immediately filled with regret every
time and begged for forgiveness, but there are only so many
times people will forgive you. The messages we say or send are
forever; people may forget what you said and they may forgive
you, but they won't forget if you hurt them, embarrassed them,
or put them down in any way. It is always a great idea to think
and pause before you speak, no matter how confident you are in
knowing your message is the right thing to say.
Sarcasm
Sarcasm is very prevalent in today's society; it seems to be a
way of getting away with being a jerk or lightening the mood of
a conversation. Yet, when a person is not available to see or

hear your tone, manner, body language, etc. then sarcasm can be
difficult to pick up on. For example, I texted a friend I was
having a conversation with, who said something as a joke, and I
then said, “shut up.” I meant these words to be said in a
laughing matter with a sort of sarcastic tone; my intention was
not to be rude. Yet, the friend did not see my body language or
hear my tone through the text, causing her to take offense. I had
to explain and then everything was fine, but the whole situation
could have been avoided. Some communication mistakes are
hard to avoid and bound to occur, but preventing as many as
possible is always a good goal to have.
A Successful Conversation
Feeling like someone is not listening to you no matter how
many times you say the message, is a terrible, frustrating
experience. I had told my boyfriend/not boyfriend many times
that I needed him to act like he cared more about me and when
he took long to answer my calls/texts it made me feel I was not
important to him. Well, it seemed this message would never
sink in and that he just did not understand what I was saying or
maybe was not listening. I was about to give up after expressing
this need to him yet again, when he said, “I'm sorry I didn't call
you and I'm sorry that it made you feel that way.” This apology
meant so much to me; he actually seemed to understand why I
was upset and admitted that he was wrong and I deserved more.
A big smile came across my face because I knew he finally was
listening, and when communication is successful it really is
such a great feeling.
“I” Language
Without realizing it, I had been using “you” language a lot in
my communication styles. I had learned of “I” language before

this class and started to try and put it to use; learning about it
again in class only increased my desire of using it. I have used
it many times now and have tried to make it a permanent part of
my communication style. “I” language really helps in allowing
the other person to grasp the meaning of the message; it takes
away all blame and does not allow defensive language to occur.
I realized “you” language was only a way of making myself feel
innocent and escaping the responsibility of my actions/words.
Now, I love the use of “I” language and try to use it as often as
possible; it has also become easy for me to spot it out in others
conversations which I find interesting.
The Importance of Communication
I have learned that communication is so important;
communicating effectively is a sign of maturity. I have learned
so much about myself this past year and also so much about how
I communicate. I've learned what needs to change and of my
positive traits. I have realized taking responsibility for the
things I say and admitting to not being the best communicator
you can be is the most rewarding thing I have done. Learning
how to speak to people the right way has made me grow and
mature so much; I am so excited to see how much farther I can
go with improving my communication and becoming a better
individual.
MUMBLES
I have a very close guy friend who mumbles terribly; he talks
quiet and fast, making it impossible to know for sure what he is
communicating. Before we were close friends I would just deal
with his mumbles and pretend I knew what he was saying. I
would respond with a smile, laugh, an “ok,” or a “yeah.” These
responses would usually work, but sometimes I would use them

when he was supposedly asking a question that required more of
a response. It would drive me crazy, because I loved talking to
him when I actually could understand him. Once we became
closer friends, I decided I had to say something! So the next
time he was attempting to mumble a story to me, I stopped him.
I told him laughingly that I could not understand a word he was
saying and that he was talking way too fast and quiet. He
laughed and spoke more clear; no more mumbles! Now anytime
he goes back to his mumbling ways I just remind him to speak
up and all is good. Asking for more clarity can be awkward,
embarrassing, or intrusive at times, but usually it will be worth
the risk.
Body Language
My little brother has always spoken strongly to me through his
body language. I did not notice this until recently though. He
has always gone out of his way to ask to give me a hug, sit by
me on the couch, and things like that. I used to think of them as
annoyances and him just being a weird kid, but now I see them
very differently. I have noticed how much I mean to him, how
much he looks up to me, and how much he cherishes time spent
with me. It was not at all something he was hiding from me, his
body language said it all, but I was not noticing it for some
unknown reason. I realize how important body language is now,
and just because someone is not saying something does not
mean they are not communicating to you. I am so glad that I
now understand and recognize my little brother's body language
and the messages he sends with it.
It's Out of My Control
Sometimes no matter what your intention or how clear you may
be, an individual just will not understand the true meaning of

your message. My dad and I have had a difficult past and do not
speak or see each other, but unfortunately I understand him very
well. I say this is unfortunate because by saying I understand
him, I am saying I am one of few that understands his
inexcusable behavior. This is because I inherited some of his
negative tendencies and behaviors; many people ask how can he
do/say that, well I understand, I do not think it is ok, but I
understand. Once I realized that I felt somewhat of a connection
with him and that maybe how he acts is not his fault, I decided
to contact him. When I did I was asking questions about why he
acts the way he does; I asked if it were because of the same
reasons I do, which I then explained. I was trying to understand
and make sense of something I had never been able to make
sense of. I never intended to offend him or attack him; I made
sure I chose my words carefully. No matter my intentions, he
was offended and told people that I accused him of being a bad
person, etc. I am a very honest person and if I wanted to talk
badly towards my dad, I would without any denial; I honestly
only wanted some clarity or answers and was in no way rude or
anything of the sort, even though I had every right to be. I
realized that sometimes conversations will not go how you
planned; sometimes no matter what you say or how hard you try
to be effective the conversation will end badly and disappoint
you. This is when one has to understand it is out of their
control; communication needs a sender and receiver, who are
both willing to be the best person they can be, to be successful.
Overreacting
Many of times I have thought that when a person takes longer
than expected to answer a message I have sent, they are
ignoring me. I have realized and admitted to not having enough
patience, but this still seems to bother me. I have sent message
after message annoyingly asking why I am being ignored or
saying mean things because I was convinced I was being
ignored. Only later realizing the person was in class, their
phone was dead, or they were dealing with something more

important; thus, making me feel terrible and stupid. I have to
understand that life is very unpredictable and no one important
to me or that cares and loves me will purposely ignore me. I
also have to understand that how long a person takes to answer
does say a lot about how they feel about you, so if they are
seeming to purposely “put me off,” then I should consider my
options in that situation. More importantly, I need to be more
patient and not rush communication; I need to understand delays
in communication are not always a bad thing.
Xxxxxxx Xxxxxxx
April 17, 2011
Communication 205 Journals
Cultural Reasoning
The little boy I stay with is very jealous when I go on a
date with a guy. So, one day I asked him what kind of guy he
thinks I would find. He said, “ A brown or peach guy. But if it’s
a brown one don’t bring him here because we are a peach
family.” It was such a cute remark that all I did was laugh and
say okay. I didn’t know any other way to answer him at the
moment. I figured it was more of a child’s cultural reasoning
than racism.
Still Confused
I met this guy, Cade, a few months ago because he wanted
me to tutor him in math. At the time he had a girlfriend and I
had just recently broken up with my boyfriend. After he broke
up with his girlfriend, we became really close and started going
place and hanging out together. He was a great guy and I
enjoyed being around him. One day, I finally got up the courage
to tell him how I really felt about him (over text message). He
didn’t answer me until a few days later. He said that I was a
great person and he was confused about what he wanted. He

thought it was better to not even be friends anymore. I was very
shocked and to this day I have no clue why he said that. I’ve
learned that if I’m ever in this kind of situation again to
confront them face to face.
Awkward
A few months ago I went meet a few friends at Yesterdays
to listen to the band and dance the night away. I was sitting
there watching the band and this random guy, I still have no
idea who he was, came up to me, fell at my feet, and handed me
a rose. I started laughing and blushing. He got up and left. I felt
bad for laughing at him but I accepted the rose. I never seen the
guy again.
Angry Words
Almost every night my parents call to see what I am doing
and see how my day went. One day unparticular, my dad called
me to see what I was doing and I was busy studying to a biology
test. I kept the conversation short and sweet because I didn’t
want to loose my focus. A few minutes later my mom messaged
me saying that my dad was mad at me. I had no clue why he
would be mad at me, which I told her that. She said because he
felt like I didn’t want to talk to him tonight. I explained that I
had a test the next day. She even accused me of raising my
voice at him, which I didn’t. I got really upset and told her from
now on that I won’t talk to either of them unless its face to face.
They eventually said they were sorry and that it was
miscommunication.
Misunderstanding
My sister, Caitlyn, gets almost every story backwards. The
other day I was telling her how my softball game went. I told
her that I hit the ball over a guys head to the fence and hit my
friend, Rob, in. Later that night, my dad called and asked how
the game went and asked if Rob was okay. I was very confused
as to why he asked that. My dad told me that Caitlyn told him
that I hit the ball over the fence and hit Rob on the head. Once I

told him the real story he laughed and couldn’t believe my sister
got that confused over a simple explanation. From now on I tell
stories straight to my parents.
Realization
I live with two ladies and their little boy. Every now and
then when I answer the phone I say hello and the other person
says either, “Shelly Ranea!” or “Hey girl what are you doing.” I
very politely tell them that this is Courtney Lane or answer
their question. They finally realize that it isn’t Mrs. Shelly they
are talking to. Apparently me and Mrs. Shelly sound exactly the
same over the phone. I’ve learned to answer the phone and say
its Courtney before they start asking questions.
Mumbling
I really have to try to speak clearly when I’m in front of
people. When I go to my parents house I usually have a lot of
stories to tell them. More than once I have to repeat my story
because I was either talking to fast or mumbling. My mom hates
when I do this because she can’t understand me. My cousin, on
the other hand, talks just like me. We can understand everything
we tell each other and my mom doesn’t even bother listening
when we are talking together. She knows she won’t understand
us.
Friendly Gesture
I was walking from my statistics class to my
communications class when I saw someone waving at me. I
stopped and looked around to see if it was me or someone else
she was waving at. There was no one around me so I politely
waved back. As she got closer, she realized I wasn’t who she
thought I was. She apologized and we both started laughing and
went our separate ways.
Sympathy
My friend, Sarah, and I are the best of friends. We are

always listening to each others problems and sympathizing with
each other. Two nights before my senior prom, my boyfriend at
the time told me that he may not be going with me to prom. I
was very upset. I called Sarah and she didn’t even hesitate to
come over. We talked for hours and just listened and offered
advice. By the time she left, I felt better. I could not have
gotten through that situation without her.
Argument
During a practice softball game I was playing, a guy on
our team was taking then game a little to seriously. He got
really mad at a call that was made and I tried to tell him to calm
down because it was just practice. He got really mad at me and
eventually let. We don’t talk anymore as much as we used to.
I’ve learned to just mind my own business next time I am put in
a situation like that.
1 of 2
Xxxxxx XxXxxxxxx
Communication 205 C
February 24, 2010
Self-Analysis Assignment
One of the first things this course taught was that the meaning
of a message is determined
by the receiver of that message. That makes sense if we think
about it. However, many of us

probably do not think about it unless it is brought to our
attention. It can come to our attention in
painful ways, such as damaged or lost relationships. Usually,
we do not want to injure our
relationships, so now is the time to learn better ways of
communicating. Improving our
communication skills is the thrust of this course. To that end,
self-analysis compared to other-
analysis is probably a good place to start, not only to improve
communication skills, but
interpersonal relationships as well.
The three people I asked for help were my sister, my brother,
and a good friend. I chose
these three because they are all good friends and in similar life
situations to mine; caring for
elderly parents. This similarity may have biased their opinions
to some extent. However it would
be interesting, since we are in similar situations, to see just how
much agreement there was
among the four of us, not that much.
We all agreed in only two cases, and all disagreed in only two
cases. In between there
were 11 times where three of us agreed and 27 times where only
two of us agreed. Yet, it is

interesting to note that when three of us agreed, seven times to
four the dissenter’s evaluation
was close. When only two agreed, the marks were all over the
grid. So, how did that shake out in
practical terms?
We all agreed that I am rarely jealous and easy to get to know.
We all disagreed on
patience and persuasiveness. My friend rated me more patient
and more persuasive than my
2 of 2
siblings. My brother said I was generally patient and my sister
said half the time. That is better
than I rated myself, but obviously I need to be more patience
with my siblings. It is wrong to
take advantage of familial love.
The seven areas where the three of us agreed and the other one
was close were
aggressive, cooperative, easy to know, irritable, predictable,
prejudiced, and trusting of others.
Two areas showed need for improvement. One was cooperative,
where my friend found me less

cooperative than I did. The other was irritable, where they all
found me irritable more often than
I did. Ouch! Triple ouch!!!
Most of the responses were not surprising knowing these
people as long as I have. I
expected any surprises to come from my brother because he is a
man. However, it was my sister
and my friend, women like me, who surprised me. My sister
said I was generally imaginative
whereas the rest of us said only sometimes. That was surprising
because my sister has a most
wonderful imagination. When I am with her, I often find myself
caught up in her out-of-the-box
thinking because it is so much fun. My friend surprised me in
that she thought I was rarely
moody, and almost always well-adjusted, the rest of us thinking
half the time for both cases.
What was surprising about this is that she is the one who lives
across the street, the one who sees
me most often. I need to clarify if I’m rarely moody around her
or moody so often that it seems
normal, oh dear. As for well-adjusted, maybe we are similarly
adjusted and she sees herself as
well-adjusted. I can only hope she is the one who has made the

accurate assessment.
While these three did not view me as poorly as I view myself in
most cases, there were
several areas that need an up-grade. I could not disagree with
any of them in any case. That is
both because I already knew these areas needed improvement,
and because the meaning of a
message is determined by the receiver of that message. It is
time to get to work.
Description:
1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4
1 Accepts Criticism Well
2 Aggressive
3 Ambitious
4 Anxious/Tense
5 Cooperative
6 Courageous
7 Easy to Get to Know
8 Energetic
9 Friendly/Good Natured
10 Shows a Sense of Humor
11 Honest
12 Imaginative
13 Intelligent
14 Irritable
15 Jealous
16 Kind

17 Is a Leader
18 Mature
19 Moody
20 Open-Minded
21 Patient
22 Persuasive
23 Predictable
24 Prejudiced
25 Quiet
26 Religious
27 Responsible
28 Self-Confident
29 Selfish
30 Serious
31 Stubborn
32 Tactful
33 Trusting of Others
34 Understanding
35 Well-Adjusted
Name:
Date:
Please put your answer in the clear column, not the gray ones.
Describe your relationship to student (mom, dad, brother, sister,
friend, roommate, coworker, teammate):
To the friend or family member: Please mark how you think
these words apply to this Speech 205 student ( do this privately,
away from student)
Almost Always
Self-Analysis Assignment Survey - please be honest
Sometimes 1/2 the Time GenerallyRarely

Description:
1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4
2 Aggressive
3 Ambitious
4 Anxious/Tense
5 Cooperative
6 Courageous
8 Energetic
11 Honest
12 Imaginative
13 Intelligent
14 Irritable
15 Jealous
16 Kind
17 Is a Leader
18 Mature
19 Moody
20 Open-Minded
21 Patient
22 Persuasive
23 Predictable
24 Prejudiced
25 Quiet
26 Religious
27 Responsible
28 Self-Confident
29 Selfish

30 Serious
31 Stubborn
32 Tactful
34 Understanding
35 Well-Adjusted
Name:
Date:
away from student)
Almost Always
Description:
1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4
2 Aggressive
3 Ambitious
4 Anxious/Tense
5 Cooperative
6 Courageous

8 Energetic
11 Honest
12 Imaginative
13 Intelligent
14 Irritable
15 Jealous
16 Kind
17 Is a Leader
18 Mature
19 Moody
20 Open-Minded
21 Patient
22 Persuasive
23 Predictable
24 Prejudiced
25 Quiet
26 Religious
27 Responsible
28 Self-Confident
29 Selfish
30 Serious
31 Stubborn
32 Tactful
34 Understanding
35 Well-Adjusted
Name:
Date:

away from student)
Almost Always
Description:
1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4
2 Aggressive
3 Ambitious
4 Anxious/Tense
5 Cooperative
6 Courageous
8 Energetic

11 Honest
12 Imaginative
13 Intelligent
14 Irritable
15 Jealous
16 Kind
17 Is a Leader
18 Mature
19 Moody
20 Open-Minded
21 Patient
22 Persuasive
23 Predictable
24 Prejudiced
25 Quiet
26 Religious
27 Responsible

28 Self-Confident
29 Selfish
30 Serious
31 Stubborn
32 Tactful
34 Understanding
35 Well-Adjusted
Self-Analysis Assignment Survey REPORT FORM (4th person
optional for 5 bonus points)
3) Person 3:
Relationship:
4) Person 4:
Relationship:
2) Person 2:
Relationship:
Almost Always
1) Person 1 (you):

Xxxxxxxx Xxxxxxxxxx
Sept. 22, 2009
Self-Analysis Essay
A time of reflection is something that rarely happens in my
own life. The self-analysis
survey required me to do just that and I found it quite
refreshing. I tend to be my own harshest
critic, however, for this assignment I tried to limit the self-
criticism and be totally honest about
how I perceive myself. Unfortunately I really did not feel like I
had someone other than a
relative that knows me well enough to complete the survey.
Therefore, all the surveys completed
were done by family member.
My husband, mother and younger sister participated in the
survey. I asked each of them
to be completely honest and not to spare my feelings, but after
reviewing their marks I still
cannot help but to think they were being too nice. For instance,
my husband and mother both felt
like I am rarely selfish, while I think I am selfish half of the
time. My husband was probably just

trying to avoid conflict. I definitely think that my relationship
with each participant directly
affected their answers to the survey. My little sister seemed to
view me in such a positive light,
but I think that has to do with her own maturity. I think she
sees confidence and responsibility as
a high level of maturity but I think some things just come with
age and life experience.
I really make an effort in my everyday life to be accepting of
others, regardless of race,
religion, sexual orientation and any other characteristic that
most people would see as
“different”. For that reason I was very proud to see that all
three survey participants agreed that I
am rarely prejudiced. In addition to my lack of prejudiced, I
was pleased to see that my family
believes that I can take criticism well. I just feel like
constructive criticism builds character and
harsh criticism that doesn’t break you down makes you stronger.
We all seemed to agree that I
have a cooperative personality, I am pretty passive person.
Also, I tend view myself as self-
confident the majority of the time and my family tends to agree.

I was disappointed to see that
my mom and husband felt that I was generally honest and I
really considered myself an
extremely honest and upfront person. It makes me want to
question as to why they would
answer in such a way.
The one thing I would change about this exercise is I would like
input from people that
don’t know me well at all. I would like to know if I seem
approachable to someone I’ve just met
or if I come across as arrogant rather than self-confident.
Having said that, I would like to
believe that I have a realistic view of how others perceive me.
With this knowledge, I hope to
improve how I relate to people that aren’t in my family. I never
considered how other people
might view my personality.
Overall the responses seemed to be similar, that’s encouraging
to me in the sense that I
feel like I’m not giving a false front, what you see is what you
get. I think a lot of people could
benefit from an exercise just like this. It is hugely beneficial to
communication lines that I have

a good idea of how my “audience” views me to help me
adequately contribute to any
circumstance.
Name Name
Speech 205
Section I
February 19, 2009
Communication is a skill we use every day without thinking.
That is the problem with
most communication. We always partake in it, but rarely think
about what is it that we are trying
to convey. Good communication is a skill, and as with any skill
one must acquire the proper
tools and knowledge to refine that skill. Confident in the belief
that I was a good communicator
and had acquired the proper tools needed to exceed in the field
of communication, I was soon
faced with evidence proving that I needed improvement in
several areas. I always thought of

myself as an above average communicator, but I never took the
time to test that theory until
recently. In one of my college classes the professor had the
class participate in an experiment
about communication. In this experiment people close to the
subject (family, spouse, friends,
etc.) were asked to evaluate the subject’s communication skills.
Being the subject, I now had the
opportunity to view my communication skills through the eyes
of others.
My mother and I had very similar views on my communication
skills. Although my
mother seemed to believe that I am anxious and tense. She also
believed me to be predictable and
at times prejudiced. For those reasons she found that I was
rarely trusting of others. It is my
opinion that my mother thinks of me as being more like her than
I actually am. I may be at times
predictable; however, I believe that I am rarely prejudiced. As
for me being trusting of others, on
this point she is way off. I tend to be very trusting of other
which in the past has caused me some
problems.
My older sister viewed me as being difficult to get to know.

This came as a surprise to
me because I thought of myself as being easy to know. When I
asked her about it she explained
that I am kind to others, but I will not reveal my true self until a
firm bond of trust has been
established. I must say that she was correct in her analysis. She
also viewed me as rarely being
self-confident. Again her response came as a shock to me until I
placed myself in her shoes. As
an older sister I go to her with my fears and problems and for
this reason she viewed me as less
confident than in reality I am.
My youngest sister revealed more than I expected. I had
expected her to view me as rude,
moody, and selfish. She surprised me in the experiment by
seeing me as rarely selfish, very
honest, and kind. She did think that I was some time irritable,
rarely patient, and closed minded.
This was precisely what I would expect from her considering
our rocky relationship.
This experience has shown me areas in which I can improve,
and a unique look into how

I have been perceived. Although we all agree that I am honest,
good natured, intelligent, with a
good sense of humor, we all agree that I have room for
improvement in my communication
skills. This experience has been insightful and I am extremely
glad that I had the opportunity to
see myself through the eyes of my family. It has taught me how
differently I can be viewed and
how differently I communicate based on the kind of relationship
I have with others.
Sheet1Self-Analysis Assgn. Survey REPORT FORM (4th
person optional for 5 bonus points). Student:B write YOUR
answers in column 1.1) Person 1 (you):2) Person 2:
Relationship:3) Person 3:
Relationship:4) Person 4:
Relationship:Description:RarelySometimes1/2 the
TimeGenerallyAlmost Always123412341234123412341Accepts
Criticism
Well2Aggressive3Ambitious4Anxious/Tense5Cooperative6Cour
ageous7Easy to Get to Know8Energetic9Friendly/Good
Natured10Shows a Sense of
Humor11Honest12Imaginative13Intelligent14Irritable15Jealous
16Kind17Is a Leader18Mature19Moody20Open-
Minded21Patient22Persuasive23Predictable24Prejudiced25Quie
t26Religious27Responsible28Self-
Confident29Selfish30Serious31Stubborn32Tactful33Trusting of
Others34Understanding35Well-Adjusted

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