Models how to write strong commentary in support of a claim.

1. Image“Meandmyself”byjcoterhalsatFlickr.com

2. When extra cash comes our way, few people
think about helping others. Ask ten teens what
they'd do if they had a million dollars and you'll
most likely hear a laundry list of items they want
to buy: a powder blue Dodge Charger, a new
wardrobe of designer clothes, an iPod touch
loaded with a billion favorite songs, an Xbox and
every game ever made. They want stuff. Some
kids actually do want to help those who are
less fortunate.
Contradicts
claim!
Generic! It’s
too vague.

3. When extra cash comes our way, few people
think about helping others. Ask ten teens what
they'd do if they had a million dollars and you'll
most likely hear a laundry list of items they want
to buy: a powder blue Dodge Charger, a new
wardrobe of designer clothes, an iPod touch
loaded with a billion favorite songs, an Xbox and
every game ever made. Most teens tend to
favor buying stuff—the more the better—for
themselves. They, like most adults, would
rather cater to their own personal desires than
look to the needs to others.
Better!