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Criticism of marriage
1. Criticism of marriage
Criticisms of marriage are arguments against the practical or moral value of the institution of
matrimony or particular forms of matrimony. These have included the effects that marriage has on
individual liberty, equality between the sexes, the relation between marriage and violence,
philosophical questions about how much control can a government have over its population, the
amount of control a person has over another, the financial risk when measured against the divorce rate,
and questioning of the necessity to have a relationship sanctioned by government or religious
authorities.
In 380 BC, Plato criticised marriage in the Republic. He stated that the idea of marriage was a "natural
enemy" of the "commonwealth," aiming for its own higher unity.[1]
In the industrial age a number of notable women writers including Sarah Fielding, Mary Hays, and
Mary Wollstonecraft, raised complaints that marriage in their own societies could be characterized as
little more than a state of "legal prostitution" with underprivileged women signing in to support
themselves.[2] Naomi Gerstel and Natalia Sarkisian wrote that marriage is also found to be often at
odds with community, diminishing ties to relatives, neighbors, and friends.[3] According to Dan
Moller's "Bachelor's Argument", modern marriage can be compared to the act of "forging professional
credentials." Over 40 percent of them fail and therefore should be avoided similar to any high-risk
venture.[4]
Commentators have often been critical of individual local practices and traditions, leading to historical
changes. Examples include the early Catholic Church's efforts to eliminate concubinage and temporary
marriage, the Protestant acceptance of divorce, and the abolition of laws against inter-faith and inter-
race marriages in the western countries.[5]
The decision not to marry is a presumed consequence of Søren Kierkegaard's philosophy. His well-
documented relationship with Regine Olsen is a subject of study in existentialism, as he called off their
engagement despite mutual love. Kierkegaard seems to have loved Regine but was unable to reconcile
the prospect of marriage with his vocation as a writer and his passionate and introspective
Christianity.[citation needed]
A similar argument is found in Franz Kafka's journal entry titled "Summary of all the arguments for
and against my marriage":
I must be alone a great deal. What I accomplished was only the result of being alone.[6]
As a high-profile couple, Jean-Paul Sartre and Simone de Beauvoir always expressed opposition to
marriage.[7] Marriage, understood existentially, proposes to join two free selves into one heading, thus
2. denying the freedom, the complete foundation, of each self.
Presently, the high divorce rates are leading to questioning of the purpose of marriage. Some
contemporary critics of marriage question why do governments (in Western countries) continue to
support marriage, when it has such a high failure rate. Anthropologist Lionel Tiger wrote:[8]
"It is astonishing that, under the circumstances, marriage is still legally allowed. If nearly half of
anything else ended so disastrously, the government would surely ban it immediately. If half the tacos
served in restaurants caused dysentery, if half the people learning karate broke their palms, if only 6
percent of people who went on roller coaster rides damaged their middle ears, the public would be
clamoring for action. Yet the most intimate of disasters...happens over and over again."
Since 2000 onwards, several Western countries have legalized same sex marriage. Some supporters of
same-sex marriage argue that, apart from offering rights to gays and lesbians, the legalization of same-
sex marriage might also help women in general, by dissociating marriage from traditional gender roles
and stereotypical expectations of subordination of the wife to the husband, and therefore might improve
the status of married women.[9]
In response to the passage of California Proposition 22 and the current controversy regarding same-sex
unions in the United States, a group of people have banded together to boycott marriage until all people
can legally marry. The argument is that since marriage is not an inclusive institution of society, the
members of the boycott refuse to support the institution as it exists.[10][11]
In the West, cohabitation and births outside marriage are becoming more common. In the United
States, conservative and religious commentators are highly critical of this trend. They are also often
critical of present day marriage law and the ease of divorce. John Witte, Jr., Professor of Law and
director of the Law and Religion Program at Emory University, argues that contemporary liberal
attitudes toward marriage produce a family that is "haphazardly bound together in the common pursuit
of selfish ends" exactly as prophesied by Nietzsche.[12] In his From Sacrament to Contract, Witte has
argued that John Stuart Mill's secular and contractarian model of marriage, developed during the
Enlightenment, provided the theoretical justification for the present-day transformation of Anglo-
American marriage law, promoting unqualified "right to divorce" on plaintiff's demand, one-time
division of property, and child custody without regard for marital misconduct.[13] A Catholic professor
Romano Cessario, in a review of Witte’s book published in an ecumenical journal the First Things,
suggested that a solution to the current crisis of marriage in the West, could come from the possible
revival of the sacramental marriage among Christians, thus counterbalancing Nietzsche's pessimism (as
echoed by Witte).
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