1. “Children of adoption may grow up well, but they
do grow up differently,” Ronald Nydam, “Adoptees
Come of Age,” 3.
Adoption
Pastoral Care of Families
April 14, 2013

2. My Context
• Younger brother Jesse
was adopted (fostered
first)
• Another child fostered in
our family years ago,
Kaila, was unable to be
adopted by my family.

3. Nydam & Systems Thought
• Ron Nydam is a pastoral theologian; Professor of
Pastoral Care at Calvin Theological Seminary;
Graduate of DU/Iliff Joint PhD
• Not necessarily working out of a family systems
framework, but quotes Larry Graham in intro to
explain pastoral responsibility to respond to the
society and structures in which an individual lives
• Assigned chapter touches on the multiple
dynamics at play in the life of an adoptee,
including both families

4. Defining Nydam’s Terms
Relinquishment is a separate but parallel
process to adoption
Relinquishment is both the historical event/legal
decision by the birth parents to give up parental
rights and the ongoing process for adoptees of
coming to terms with their birth parents’ decision
Adoption is both the legal transaction by which
parental rights are transferred and the lifelong
process of attachment/detachment with adoptive
parents and adoptive family

5. Hope
Nydam explains in chapter six (unassigned) that
keeping hope alive is important for adoptees
Hope for reconciliation and reunification
someday with birth family in a new relationship
that forgives the past
It is important to Nydam that this hope not be
taken away from adoptees, though they
themselves will often keep their hope “in check”

6. Potential Pastoral Care
Scenarios
Heterosexual couple with Single adults considering
biological children who adoption as alternative to
would like to additionally traditional coupled
adopt parenting
Heterosexual couple Empty nesters choosing
struggling with infertility to adopt additional
considering adoption children (usually older
kids)
Same-sex couple who
would like to adopt Foster-adopt, private
adoption, international
Any family who has adoption- all different
already adopted/anyone scenarios and chosen for
who has been adopted different reasons

7. Questions to consider this
week
What are my preconceived ideas about adoption
and who participates in adoption?
What does Nydam or the Schwartz article bring
to light that I had not previously considered?
How do I define family, if it is not always defined
by biological relation?