1. “The beauty of Life is ever expanding, My search for my
Self is never ending.
It has been a interesting week for me personally and as such would like to share the things I
have come to see and been part of as it has progressed. I hope you get something from it as I
have.
One of the main things in life for me is relationships in it’s many forms with others and how and
why we interact with each other. I love them, crave them and honor them in my own ways that I
realize over time, do not necessarily match with most of those that I meet .
Over the last several months I have talked with many people…mostly women I have to say. In
short conversations, long ones and while waiting in the train the last few days as I traveled
across country.
My questions are always pretty close to the same for others and theirs in turn about the same to
me…What are you looking for in a partner and how do you get that. What I have received in
answers has really tilted my world and left me unsure of what people really want in
relationships.
As for me I have never really changed what I want from one, a deep spiritual bond, a connection
that transcends the physical and in fact incorporates Mind, body, and Soul together. Notice I
include BODY in there as well for I have no interest in being a monk at all.
Because of this desires in my part to have them be important facets of any relationship I am
involved with I ASK what they “women” want in a relationship and often am told that they just
want to have fun, don’t want a relationship at this time or that is too private to share with others.
Once not to long ago I shared that I want someone who is willing to and able to share deep
intimate feelings with the other and was told that those are too private for sharing with a partner.
I was amazed by that answer, for if not with a partner…..with who would one share them with?
Another suggested that I must be very controlling for wanting that within a relationship and
asked if I kept track of what my significant others did or didn’t do…….as I started to share that the
common theme I had heard from the women in my past relationships was that they had felt
more able to really be themselves with me, she got mad and finished the conversation in a
brusk manner.
Today while having breakfast with my ex-brother in law 3 marriages back, he talked about some
things that were very personal and it had to do with the fact that he had realized that he may
have been able to stay married to his first wife if he had fought for her and been present in the
moment at that time rather then have it slip away slowly.
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2. So as I have gone along in my own life and lose more and more friends and everything that in
my so called “Life” was important, I have slowly come to this place of realization that to be true
to my own self I HAVE to ask what the other wants and also share what I want and in doing so it
seems it is too strong, too deep or too personal for all I have met so far to share it.
I have too long tried to keep my own awareness quiet or hidden so as to not overpower others
and also have a semblance of a normal life even as I see beyond the surface appearances and
false veneers that we all have at times.
Maybe he could have “fought for her” and stayed together but also and what I come back to is
WHY DO WE NEED TO PLAY THIS GAME? Why can’t we…BOTH parties in a relationship, not
JUST really share from the heart and enjoy the intimacy that comes from that. And yes at times
the pain of growth or disappointment of not “getting” them!
Are we all so scared that the very thing we all want deep down is exactly the very thing that we
hide from and cannot talk about or share with each other?
Over the last year I have met 3 different people that have talked to me about Feeling secure
and deeply spiritual in bondage as a letting go exercise and being subservient to the other……I
think I am beginning to see how they see that for in the letting go of control there is a aspect of
intimacy that comes about………………..
What I seem to go back to is WHY do most of us feel like we have to have to have so much
control that we cannot allow open communication to happen spontaneously as we talk, and
make continues sparring gestures that will keep each other at bay even as we “SAY” we want
to find that one person that will really see us……and then when we are seen we run like hell for
the exit?
Many have said this to me over the years and also that they did not want to put that much work
or effort into a relationship even as most were able to feel that ONENESS that is ever present in
the universe but which has never been felt by most.
To me this oneness is nothing more that the truth of the Universe that IS…and all the tools and
things I write about here are ways to point one selves towards that, even as I know that we are
already that ONENESS.
In his video below He talks about the shift from the way feminine and masculine energy is
presented to the world and how now is the time for change that will in fact make things grow so
much better and faster for our selves.
Letting go is the key and It’s not about others letting go of their drama so they fit into OUR idea
of what is right but rather US letting go of our ideas, limits and expectations of what we can or
cannot do and allowing ourselves to think, feel and be The grander self that is just waiting for a
invitation from within our own hearts to consciously bloom into the gorgeous God/Goddess that
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3. we already are!
Are we WILLING to be like the caterpillar who dies to become the Butterfly?
Or are we waiting for the time that They finally are able to make a butterfly first, make sure it
flies right and has the GPS working perfectly before we leave the cocoon?
We all are in this together and in doing so we are always helping each other grow and become
more aware..even as we struggle with the very real things that are involved with getting out of
our cocoon!
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“The beauty of Life is ever expanding, My search for my Self is never ending. I need the Other
now more than ever, because the great Mother is now calling us all together!” Aloha from the
Matri Sadan Ashram in Brazil! I am here visiting and learning through the teachings of Mother
Giamvati and sacred ayahuasca ceremony. It has opened me to new understandings regarding
the Solar Eclipse coming Tuesday and the New Beginning soon to follow.
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