Diary from the 2000/1 Pt Fairy SUFM

1. Well what does one write?

3. First of all I’d just like to say that mission this year was phenomenal and I’d like to thank each and every one of you for making it that way. Looking back I think that this years mission has begun a huge change in my life, I’m starting to come out of my shell! That comes from the confidence I have built through you guys! I’m actually beginning to love life and am looking forward to God revealing a plan for me. I’m excited about the future for once, even though I have no idea where I’m going at the moment. I just wanted every one to know how much you guys mean to me. I love you all!

4. Well, enough about me and that mushy stuff!

5. My favourite mission memories:

6. the massive water fight (including injuries) Heath’s amazing makeover the guys and their fantastic wizzie dizzying evening worships bush dancing myself silly being EVIL! hehe! medieval knight (even with the stress) all those funky tunes before and after the programs! the turn around in numbers after we changed the program the sunsets, lightening and blackouts laughter

8. "Conform! Conform! One of Us! One of Us!" i hear you all scream!

9. so ok.. i'm here.. writing...but not to get all emotional and write some mushy story letter thing about how much i love you guys. (coz you already know that =P )

10. when i heard or rather read eddies words.. i new i had to write something. i dont know what... but something. just so you guys can know what I’m thinking.. and what this whole mission has meant to me.

11. Some wise old dude once said ‘remember to tell your friends how you care about them before all you have is memories... or something to that effect. So first of all, i wanna tell you guys you're the wackiest psycho weird freaks (occasionally in lycra) that i've put up with for that long in my whole life. (.and you guys say I’m skitz) but yes... ok... i admit....i like you guys....bla bla bla...you’re great.....bla bla.... miss you...... you know the rest... (I don’t need to be held responsible for overinflating any ego’s)

12. so...ok.. you did kinda remind me of cold pizza... by the end of the week... all crusty around the edges and stuff... but not to worry.. i like cold pizza =)

13. this mission has been a moving event for me. And I don’t just mean the jumpy-uppy-down hyper type moving stuff. I mean that it was, and is, a really important part of my relationship with god. Not in a highly emotional way… (I see the light!)…or the way of hyped up (not mentioning any names. “coughsplutterHILLSONGchoke*) mass praise/worship euphoria (those of you who were at the team weekend will know the realities of that)… but its shown me what it is to really be active and out there every minute of everyday (like/choose it or not) for a reason… for and with god every second.

14. It’s strengthened and inspired my faith to not be content where Im at, but to keep growing.. and walking with god by my side every moment… not just when it suits me.. or when I feel I have the time. So yeah…mission.. and you guys have shown me quite a bit about myself.. about god… and about how this whole thing fits together… There’s probably a lot more I could say…. But then I’d run the risk of sounding all philosophical and mushy…so heres three things that will stick with me… (actually… there’s probably stacks more… but three’s a nice number…besides, my dad always says to have three points =P)

15. So:

16. 1.*never under estimate the power of stupid people in large groups… or more importantly…gods people… in small tents!

17. 2. *Never hang you lingerie on a tent to dry/ never jump fires in polyester clothing (it melts) / never mix red cordial and burger rings/ (that only counts as one)

18. … .ok.. forget no’2.

19. And 3.*That you can rely on god for the small things in life as well as the big.

20. So I guess the moral of the story is “rock on!” ….. and get ready to do it all over again next year peoples!

21. Love in the highest degree….. the one and only….

22. WAYS TO KNOW YOU"RE HAVING BM WITHDRAWALS

23. * you wake up at 7am and your little bag is already packed for the trek across the house to the shower.

24. *the tent in your backyard has BO7 scrawled on it

25. *'doodly doo' is the theme song on your mobile

26. *you dilute your cordial

27. *you yell "sport" on icq or when no ones around

29. It is hard to tell what would be my favourite moment on mission. Some events stick out in my mind, but none highlight themselves over the others.

30. To begin with, there was the first day with visitation, MC-ing the evening program and finally the mini-Olympics. Visitation was great because (as usual), there was almost no one in my area and didn't have to do particularly much work. MC-ing was great, and so was the attention. Being allowed to stand up in front of everyone and just go for it felt really good. 'Tis a rare occasion that I'm allowed to do stand-up comedy. Finally, there was the mini-Olympics. I can't say that I had the most fun station, but encouraging the kids (which resulted in a multitude of grass-stains) and the cheering of the parents on the hill let me scream my head off and have heaps of fun. Got to know a few of the kids too, and they seemed to have lots of fun. Apart, of course, from that one girl that looked like she was so dizzy that she was going to throw up… :)

31. There was the talent night on the 6th. Not only did I get to sit around in my underwear in front of everyone, dance, and almost freeze my… butt off, but I also got to see some really great skits! Having DC in the audience giving me the finger in the most imaginative of ways was fun…

32. Going to the coffee shop with the teens was always good, but always too short. We'd get down there, order our food, chat for a little bit, point and giggle at the coffee shop people that we thought were cute and then it would be time to go! There was usually a good turn out to coffee shop, which meant that we had all our teens and then some! The coffee shop people were very nice to us and put up with our little idiosyncrasies and in-jokes. It will be good to see them next year. Maybe we'll get to know them a little better.

33. The conversation above all conversations on mission, was when a few of the teens and teen leaders were talking with Ria about her birthday present from her Grandmother. A G-string! That was very interesting and awkward at the same time…

34. Probably my most favourite moment on all of mission would be the times when I would sit down and read/write letters. My only regret from the whole of mission was that I didn't get letters from more people and that I stopped writing for a day or two. Ok, that's two regrets, but you know what I mean. Everybody called me a sucker for punishment for asking for so many letters. As fun as I might be, or how great the conversations we have with each other are, I get 10 times as much out of the majority of letters. I don't know whether its just some child-hood trauma or something, but the feeling when I get a letter and the joy of reading its contents makes me feel glad to be alive! I'm hoping that I'll be able to keep up the writing during this year, and maybe even some visits!

36. One of the most interesting moments of short-term community living is the finale, the goodbye, the letting go. It is always fantastic, for whatever reason. Sometimes its because your own style of living is better, sometimes because you have begun to depend on the community, and sometimes the time spent within the community is so special that you can't leave it without bring it to a close - it needs to be done properly.

37. My time in the army was brought to a close through a parade followed by lunch - terribly formal, but very meaningful. A play always culminates in an after-party that funnels all the passion of the community into a rather raging night. With mission this year, it was car-prayer.

38. Enclosed within the vehicles that were about to take us away we gave our final bit to God, to each other, and to ourselves. There were no goodbyes, there were no tears, just a mutual satisfaction about the time, a mutual affection for each other, and a mutual fear that i would get another speeding ticket. What felt so right was the completion: we begun in God, continued in God, and ended in God.

39. Yes we met again 30 mins later at McDonalds, but it was leaving Port Fairy that ended mission. Lunch became the moment that started the new year; the recommencement of our lives outside mission.

40. May God Bless the team with a continuing presence this year, and many more missions to come that we are a part of. As the team changes and evolves, I hope that each mission will feel so complete.

42. Port Fairy was a very memorable experience, just fantastic. I'd heard favourable stories about beach missions before, but i didn't really have any idea what i was getting myself in for. I found it difficult at first because i didn't really know these people i was going to spend the next 12 days with, whereas everyone else seemed to have at least one confidante. I was feeling a little lost during the first couple of days there, but everyone was so welcoming and friendly, that i began to feel more comfortable. Now i think of these people rather fondly, having spent a sometimes stressful but overall brilliant, 2 weeks of my life with them ......

43. When i got to Port Fairy, i was feeling excited, but also a little scared. How could i be a leader to a group of 5 and 6 year olds? I didn't yet have a particularly good knowledge, having only met Jesus just over a year prior to mission, plus i've always hated the idea of having to get up and speak in front of the group of people. How was i going to do it? The first night with the kids erased most of my worries however. i had so much fun, and the kids very quickly accepted me as part of the team. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all ......

44. Over the next few days, i began to realise that God was using mission as a time of personal growth and reflection for me. I was gaining confidance around both the kids and the team, and i was beginning to see my problems back home in a different light. By the end of mission, i didn't want to go home. I was developing lasting friendships, and having a fantastic time with the kids - although it was really tiring too (think endless games of "scarecrow tiggie", piggybacks, "duck duck goose" ......) When i got home i was exhausted but couldn't sleep. i felt lost without the wonderful sense of community that had dominated the previous 12 days, and am still yearning it now. I can't wait to go back next year.

46. Kids. Short, tall, big small, noisy, quiet, we had them all. With such diversity of backgrounds and family situations, it seemed such a daunting task to try and reach each one. But once I got there I kinda forgot all that. It's such a privilege to be accepted so easily by the kids -

47. absolutely and completely - just because i'm a "leader". The enjoyment that they seem to get just from playing a game with you. Such a simple thing, yet it makes all the effort seem worthwhile. And of course there's the jokes, like the girl who told me that Anglicans don't go to church (so where have i been going all these years??)...hopefully at least one kid went away knowing something they didn't before. It sometimes seems strange that a mission that is intended to benefit other people brings with it so much personal enrichment. For me, this year, I simply enjoyed getting to know the kids, seeing them getting involved and having fun. Leaving behind everything of my own life to devote time to others. It was great, but please don't ever ask me to untangle a bit of wool for a pompom ever again.

48. Besides which it was just heaps of fun and I have so many great memories. You may laugh, but that new years eve swim was absolutely fantastic, really, you've got to try it to appreciate it. It's way to hard to sum up the team, so i just want to say thanks for everything.

50. I will begin with when I was asked if I wanted to go on this ‘Beach Mission thing at Port Fairy’ by the Alison's, I wasn't too sure if I wanted to go or not. I had heard some really excellent things from all three Alisons before but I still had that element of doubt in my mind as to, am I ready. Two problems with that was I didn’t know what I would be preparing for so I would never be ready and well there was only one problem, but in the end I decided to go.

51. To start with I was a bit worried that I would forget something and which would cause the games and stuff that I had organised for the teens go wrong. But some of what I had planned to do, I didn’t use. Also it wouldn’t matter if I had forgotten something because with everyone’s helpfulness if something had been forgotten we had people who would work out something to use instead or give me other ideas that I could work with. This is why I think everything worked out and everyone worked well together.

52. Along with working and telling the children about God I had an excellent time meeting some wonderful people.

53. This has been a big part of my life this mission, with learning about and understanding more of God and our path of life, and also just being given the confidents to make a fool of myself. There are not enough words to express how good it was so I can not describe this feeling of great joy and happiness when I look back over the 10 days, and hopefully next one is going to be just as good or better. Thank you everyone for your support and enthusiasm.

55. Some of you may have picked up on my negative vibes especially towards the beginning of mission. They weren't necessarily negative vibes, more just a lack of vibe altogether.

56. For a long time previous to mission I was pumped about it and was really looking forward to it. By the time it came around many things had happened; many new thoughts and issues had needed to be dealt with and so I was totally unprepared emotionally/mentally/spiritually for it when the time came. I had been questioned on my sanity by my father and older sister. "You're volunteering to go and be tortured by children for 10 days, and your PAYING for that?!" It did seem insane when I looked at it that way. But it was too late.

57. >From the very beginning of time I wasn't happy about the 10 day part. That is way too long to put my life on hold. It wouldn't have meant so much except that I had only been home a couple of days from college and hadn't spent much time there in consecutive days.

58. Boxing day comes, I get a call from Hershey and she says 'can we pick you up tonight?' So I say yeah sure, (you have to humour your lift) and didn't even get to play with any of my Christmas stuff, or finish playing with my friend who was over at the time they arrived. We had been having a real fun day too. It felt as though I was suddenly torn out of my comfortable world of sin* and thrust into this new, scary for me, polite, churchy, girly, holy, spiritual world where I would have to be a good girl for 10 days... have to put up with the incompetence of others and humour people to exist in peace rather than say what I mean and take over the things which I think I could do better, like I normally might.

59. (*world of sin: I'm not that bad really, it is just that I have been in a lot of dilemma spiritually lately.)

60. So as I came to mission I wasn't feeling crash hot about it.

61. Yes, I decided that I wasn't going to 'be what I was expected to be' just to get through. Why should I conform to an idea or a stereotype just because I was becoming a part of a team. Since I was unprepared in many ways, I hadn't decided how I should act, who I should be. So I decided to let silence be the best answer going by the idea that 'a wise man keeps his mouth shut' and 'a fool spouts nonsense' thing. This was an experiment, it took effort as normally I would just spout nonsense anyway.

62. I didn't bother to make the effort to become friends with anyone. Frankly, small talk gets up my nose. I knew Matt and that was enough. In fact I wouldn't have cared had I known no one. I was simply going to exist there in space and unfortunately time, til it was over, then go home and get back to life.

63. Existing, being. Matt pointed out to me, when I was commenting how I felt that time was being wasted as we were often sitting around not doing anything in particular, that mission was more about being. Simple, here and now, just be, just exist. Less emphasis was on structuring every minute and having an exact plan. I found out how challenging and yet fun this lack of planning could be when I became involved in the melodrama! Then I began to enjoy just being. Existing with a bunch of people. A bunch of great people.

64. I found that even though had not made any effort to fit in with you people, you fitted me in. You did not exclude me because I was not what you may have wanted. You appreciated me for what I put in and were always a support. You people are great. You all, even though I didn't know you from a bar of soap and vice versa, came together and achieved whatever was necessary to be achieved. You formed a community based on acceptance, tolerance, open mindedness and willingness to share gifts. A community that was exemplary to society.

65. By the end of mission it became clear that I could have got a lot more out of this time with you people had I put in more effort, but as I have discussed with some of you, the silence, keeping to myself and not bothering to ask unnecessary questions which would have indicated that I was interested in anyone else's life, it was all an experiment. I'm glad to have met and worked with all of you. Thankyou for being a part of an experiment and for making it enjoyable.

66. There is true greatness in all of you. I mean that as an individual compliment to ALL of you. In every single person on mission, God revealed to me special parts of His character. I saw how God uses people and makes them beautiful. You are beautiful. Thankyou all for the experience of truth, honesty and greatness. True Greatness.

67. Something I heard and really like:

68. "You don't love them because they're beautiful, they're beautiful because you love them."

69. Here is some advice I need to take:

70. Sing like no one is listening,

71. Dance like no one is watching,

72. Love like you'll never get hurt.

74. NEW YEAR’S EVE:

75. Suddenly a glance downwards revealed my necklace piece was gone. I couldn’t work it out because I was sure I was just playing with it a minute ago. I looked all around me; the floor, the table. I shook all my clothing, hoping it would fall to the floor. When the search in the hall failed I started to panic. Out came the torch to search the yard for a tiny piece of glass amongst the grass and dirt. It was the last straw – I had lost a ring from Sara that morning and now I had lost her necklace. It was only a piece of glass but to me it was special. It had been given to me by my soul mate, Sara, so that I could remember her while she was overseas. As special as it was, it wasn’t just the necklace though. My mind was tired, full of heavy thoughts and my spirit was weak. I was needy of comfort yet too proud to admit it. It took losing a piece of jewelry for God to break my heavy defenses and admit my weaknesses. Only then in my weakness could I leave myself open to god be honest to myself.

76. That night as we were reflecting on our respective years’, I was grateful that the year was over. A year that started out with such potential to be great, had become a very difficult and painful one. Had I learnt anything from this year of darkness? What could god be thinking? Why am I not more grateful to god for bringing me through it? All these thoughts overwhelmed me. Yes it was nice to be moving on – but where I asked? My fear intensified as I considered that god could possibly want to take me back to that place of despair and isolation.

77. As we began to move around the church in order to signify moving on to a new year I wanted to fight it. No I thought, I don’t want to move on when I can’t see the future. Even as some one held me close and I watched others move courageously from their seats I was determined not to move on. Then gradually I realised that not only were we moving on individually but we were also moving on as one body as well. No I didn’t have the courage or strength to move on alone – but maybe through clinging onto others I could be dragged forward. Together we could face God’s challenges and tasks. Alone we are weak and disobedient. Walking through the church the night and finally blowing out the candle still brought pain and fear to my heart. However, the thought of staying were I was, alone, gave me the courage to walk.

78. Thank-you for making me want to come with you so much that I overcame my fears. Back in reality I see that some of my fears for this year are coming true and I feel the foundations of another difficult year are being laid. I am so glad that I have so many strong and admirable people to hold onto and who hopefully will drag me along when I am afraid to walk. I pray we will all be this to each other this year.

79. P.S Fortunately God only wanted me to lose the necklace for the night – John found it the next morning!

80. SOME THINGS I REMEMBER: Eddie jumping over the fire of mouldy clothes The time spent on the wizzy dizzy after the sand castle competition. “Leader push or they get wet…” – then the stomach churn afterwards! Having a discussion with the “I AM” lady after church, discovering that heaven is attainable on earth! The teenagers jumping up and down to the songs with DC in the back row on the last night.

82. Beach Mission? What the Heck?

83. So I was expecting something else, but who wasn't. Certainly not this intensely spiritual and bonding experience that 16 strangers would have for 12 days. So I knew 5 of them from Jorge (cell group), they were still virtual strangers and who were these other people that had popped into my life one Sunday afternoon at some persons house, later known to me as TRACA DAKCA. :^)

84. The road rose and fell under the car I was driving much like mission had. The first feelings I had experienced when I saw the church yard for the first time was relief for my butt that had gone numb over the past 5 hours driving but also hesitation, I was nervous. I hate doing things and going places and being with people I don't know and programs I have only heard about but never experienced.

85. 12 days, 8 melodramas, 3 shots of cordial, a million awesome worship services, and an Aztec in a pine tree later I find myself writing to people overseas about my most incredible experience with 16 strangers on this weird program where we basically make fools of ourselves for the entertainment of 50 kids and their parents.

86. Being the local photographer I guess and having a nervous breakdown about trying to get the next water dumping in a perfect polaroid shot where every drop of water sparkles in the sunshine and of course the faces are clearly seen and screwed up facial expressions and fuzzy photos are non-existent. I think being able to preserve the whole experience is wonderful. I love photos because if they are right they capture the feeling of the moment. And then it is their frozen forever you can look at whenever you’re lonely and then there are your feelings frozen with the photograph.

87. What this mission has meant to me is that I now know if I take the time to get to know people on a personal level, I find out that people aren't all freaks out for my blood. And that I can be myself without thought of criticism or recrimination because that is who I am and I don't need to lock myself up in my room anymore. I found out that I am different, I always will be and that is ok because everyone is different. Everyone has their own set of problems and we all need the people that God puts in our lives because that is precisely why he put them their, because we need them.

88. Thanks for bringing out me guys. I will always love you for that if not for anything else. :^) Kidding, Ta guys

89. ONLY ON PORT FAIRY SUFM... would you erect a tent inside a tent to sleep in!! would you put someone down and then try to smooth it over by saying "but God still loves you" would you find ridiculously large numbers of red cordial shots being consumed would you find fully clothed people swimming in the wee hours of new years day would you for no apparent reason decide to burn mouldy dress ups (apparently it was a total fire ban!) would you be afraid of the guys tent? would you remind past teams members of early mornings by surrounding their tent and singing 'Get up out of bed' would you find such a dedicated team of people

91. I've learnt some really important lessons on Beach Mission and one of them is that no matter how trust worthy you think a friend is, they will always turn on you in a water fight.

93. To say that my short stay at mission was fun would have to be the

94. understatement of the century. I have never had this much fun at any camp or

95. any other holiday before. It still blows me away to realise how quickly I

96. became a part of your team. You let me in with no problems and no

97. inhibitions. I felt a part of something important. I was allowed to be

98. myself which is rare for me because I so often have to change my humour,

99. cynicism and other strong attributes to fit into the group without causing

100. waves. Within 2 days I felt like I had known you guys for ages and I loved

101. every moment of it.

103. I arrived to Port Fairy with a lot of emotional baggage and I expected to

104. just have some time off and run around doing errands for people that I

105. hardly knew. With this in mind, you can see why it was strange for me to

106. have people talk to me and to get to know individuals that were not from

107. Jorge and that were so different to myself. People that didn’t care what I

108. thought about them, and made no judgments about me. The baggage that I had

109. arrived with disappeared so quickly and I felt so transformed. You guys gave

110. me the biggest boost of self-esteem that I have ever had. To the G.A. that

111. wrote me the message about being “the best damn gopher ever”, I love you so

112. much. You made my week, never mind my day.

114. It has always been hard for me to seriously express deep emotion of any

115. kind. Not many people realise that I cannot bring myself to say things that

116. show how deeply I have been affected by something. During worship at

117. mission, I was seriously opened up and it was difficult to say the very

118. least. I was telling people things about my Christian life that I have never

119. told anyone before. I was confessing that I was having problems. I was

120. opening up and it really scared me because I never do that - ever.

122. The one thing that I so have to say to everyone is Thank You - for

123. everything. For putting up with strange habits that I know I have, listening

124. to me gush about my “work of art”, screaming for no reason in the middle of

125. the car park, singing one line of a song over and over again....the list

126. could go on, but it won’t. The level of tolerance in this group is

127. phenomenal, “Thank you” seems to cover all that I am trying to say but

128. can’t.

130. I will forever remember mission for the fun that I had, the friends that I

131. made and the way that my world was turned upside down.

133. You made my summer worthwhile and memorable. I love you all.

135. The mere fact that I’m sitting here at work, nearly a week after mission, still consumed by thoughts of you guys and what we’ve been through, (thus not having done a scrap of work all week!) seems to indicate that something fairly profound happened this year…

136. Leading up to mission was tough – as many of you were aware. And I thank you for your support and commitment when it would have been so tempting and easy to bail out. Situations were often against us, and more than a couple of people questioned my ability to pull this off, and whether my personality and style were at all suitable. That hurt…badly… but at least it made me determined to prove them wrong. Not exactly the best motivation, but God used it, and eventually gave me a better understanding.

137. From day one, something was clearly right and special about this.. The record-breaking set up, the relatively easy banter of the team, the way relationships were so quickly and easily forming. I think sometimes we forget just how unnatural all of that is in this world… How a group of strangers can come together, work together so well under such pressure and conditions, and walk away with so much love for one another and an all-pervading compulsion to stay together, no matter what.

138. Of course some days weren’t quite so hot (apart from the temperature, that is..). Things always felt a little shabby around the edges with a lot of last minute and forgotten stuff occurring… Consequence of one slightly under-prepared director I’m afraid – but the ability of you guys to take this in your stride with no complaining or criticism continually bewildered and blessed me… And then on the 3rd, the fateful afternoon program/morning program decision. To me, that almost felt like the end of my mission, the complete and utter failure of what I’d hoped for… And yes, I was a tad miffed and difficult to deal with then too, I’ll agree… But of course (and it shouldn’t have surprised me by now) you guys came through without hesitating. Not only in supporting the decision and following without any hint of grumbling, you threw yourselves into the changes and made the last few days a complete turnaround from the previous few…. And to all those people who told me everything was ok, appeared with cups of coffee or a spontaneous massage…. <hug>…..

139. However, it was in those last couple of days that you guys really blew me away, or rather what happened between you all. Mission teams are usually expected to bond a fair bit – but this year went far beyond bonding… Call it ‘fusing’ if you want. This may sound trite, but what I saw and experienced there seems like a glimpse of heaven – Not about pleasure and luxuries and serenity and heady spirituality, but about community, people being with people because they love them and want to be with them, and want to share their lives with each other. A community without issues, a community too focused on the welfare of the other to worry about ourselves, and subsequently one where all our needs are met without us having to ask for anything (hmm.. beginning to sound a bit too much like a director here… oops). God is proud, you know…. Someone on team said that to me, and I say it to you as well, because I know he is.

140. Never before have I felt such a part of a group of people whom, relatively speaking, I still didn’t know that well beforehand. Whether it was intentional or not, you not only fully accepted the person that was presented before you, you reached inside and embraced what you found there without fear, judgement or hesitation. Some people especially, but in different ways, you all did that for me, (and I know you did it for others too) and I can’t begin to express what that meant to me. And I hope and pray that that has helped me do the same for you too.

141. And what means even more to me now, is that it’s clear that it’s not over… I’ve almost felt more loved and encouraged since we returned, and I know this will continue. I’m only beginning to get to know some of you, and I’m determined to see that develop, just as I’m keen to see the turning of the corner that you guys helped achieve in me on mission continue… For me, the road ahead is looking brighter, not only because you helped me see a better path in a better light, but because I’m confident you’ll be with me on the journey. Thankyou for everything you’ve given me and been to me – It’s a greater gift than I could ever hope to repay, but I’ll try…

142. I love you all.

144. Little things I won’t forget:

145. Linsey’s amazing GA

146. Heath’s transformation into Sir Hurtsalot

147. Duck duck friggin goose

148. “ Car Worship” on the final day

149. Posing in the hall windows

150. The lightning storm

151. Massages galore – (including the amazing massage that started while I was asleep…. Thankyou Emma…)

152. Heidi and Nathan doing crosswords together….

153. Gary in a skirt, or a silver vest, or boxer shorts, or with blue paint on his face, or with a red ribbon in his hair, or as Tracy’s tumour, etc.

154. Amanda’s seduction techniques

155. Pelting a rubber bouncy ball around the hall (and having it land in the middle of Tracy’s cookies)

156. Herschey stepping on the injured lizard she’d just prayed for….

157. “ and all of God’s people did the dead man’s float…”

158. Nathan proudly walking around the caravan park as Robin Hood (and Sarah Traine as King Arthur – complete with coconuts – and getting chased for waking a guy up with said coconuts)

159. The joyful chaos that was medieval night

160. Linsey’s bushdance calling…

161. Gary’s amazing talk (and all the talks for that matter)

162. Our first indoor evening program in over 5 years

163. Nathan almost choking to death on red cordial

164. Gary almost choking to death on shaving cream

165. The massive water fight during afternoon program (and ‘accidentally’ kneeing Sarah Mitchell in the head – she couldn’t eat properly for the rest of mission…)

166. Three Melbourne High School Old Boys, given the slack to sing all their school songs in public…

167. Sitting here, over a week later, and still thinking about it almost all the time….

168. As usual, on the last night we came back after the final program and prepared for the walk down to the beach to relax and unwind… We looked a bit of a motley crew, especially since Heath had just shaved his head, and was still in his melodrama outfit of black velvet pants and this big black wooly coat thing…Funnily enough, in his new look he actually looked pretty cool… and a tad menacing…Rather Matrixy.. We wandered down to the beach in dribs and drabs and started to head off along the shoreline. I let myself drop back a little to just stand and look out to sea, and then followed along, looking at the team, obviously so comfortable with each other after only 10 short days… Amazing to see happen honestly – so unreal.

169. I just walked behind, thinking about the past 10 days, thanking God for this, and just talking out loud… I’d wanted a good year, I wanted to prove myself as a leader – But this was beyond my hopes and expectations, and I almost felt guilty at getting too much.. What had we done to deserve this?

170. Eventually we all came to a stop, and I moved a bit aside to stand against the wind and then crouch down to think and pray – the sort of thing I always tend to do on this final walk… Felt God speaking to me at a number of points… As I looked up at the grey forbidding sky, I found myself asking “where are you God?”… to which my reply came as I brought my eyes down from the sky and let them rest on this funny little group of people, all laughing and joking in the darkness, so obviously at peace and deeply loving one another, and understood that God was right here, in the midst of them.

171. Then, as I looked to the right I could see the way we’d come – together along the beach, making noise and fooling around. Then I looked to the left and saw the beach stretching into the darkness, all the way to the distant lights of Warrnambool. To the left it was empty, and it filled me with a bit of fear and hesitancy. It was like this was what the future was for me, and I found myself saying “Lord, I know I have to walk that road, but please let me walk it with these people…” – I hope he’ll let me…

172. Meanwhile, most of the group had sort of formed itself into a tight circle, with a few loners doing their own thinking or whatever… Soon I heard a chanting noise approach, as the group (to be affectionately known as the ‘amoeba’) soon surrounded me – Rather intimidating, but an amazingly touching gesture really… I’d never felt so accepted by a team before, and this really reinforced that feeling. Usually I go through the day with the widespread “I suck” routine… and of late several others have joined in saying that to me as well. So it was an amazing experience and relief to stand there in the midst of the group and feel so accepted and loved and cared for, even if people were laughing and making jokes at my expense. Soon, I joined the ‘circle of conformity’, and the amoeba moved on to consume Jess, Nicole, Heath, Nathan and Heidi… It still seemed almost impossible to believe that the group had grown so close in such a short period of time. There was something very special going on this year, that I’ll never be able to quite put my finger on or find the words for.

173. Eventually we turned and headed back slowly to where we came onto the beach. I arrived at the entrance to see Heath standing on the rocks in his new look, very fearsome and impressive in the wind… Like something out of a movie really. We all sat around on the grass – I stood against the wind and just let it blow right through me, and take all the fears and stress away… Went and sat down at the top of the lawn and just looked down at the bunch of hooligans below me whom I’d grown to care so much about in the last 10 days, and whom my feelings for had surprised even me. Gary, Amanda, Heath and co. all fooling about at the foot of the hill in the wind, Jess and DC just being too energetic as they did somersaults down the hill and balanced on the embankments, a bunch of the girls all lying and singing choruses, and Nathan and Heidi tucked up in their own little corner… Was a moment that I didn’t want to end really… and I think that was true of most of the team, for although it was bitterly cold and windy, nobody seemed to want to go home for a long time… I wasn’t complaining… I would have stayed there in the wind and dark and cold with those people forever if I could have. It may have been cold, but I couldn’t have felt warmer…

174. Sad to realise it was coming to an end, but filled with the hope and commitment to make sure that what was so special here would continue regardless of where we were, what we were doing, or our physical separation. If God really did create this team in 10 short days (and only He could have) then nothing would stop him from keeping it together and supporting each other in the year to come. If that’s true, then beach mission was only the beginning…

176. Hello stranger..

177. Goodbye friend.