1. client service
trust-based sales
consulting skills
leadership
21 June 2016
Improving your Emo.onal Intelligence:
.ps and case studies
Skills to improve your client relationships
www.theclientacademy.com
In collabora.on
with FIBA

2. Who are The Client Academy?
Training, coaching and facilita7on to improve your client rela7onships
Monica Hernanz
Founder. Spanish.
22 years’ experience in client
rela.onships.
Background in banking and
consul.ng.
We work globally from 3 offices
4 areas of work
Client
service
Trust-
based
sales
Consul.ng
skills
Leadership
London
4 consultants
Madrid
2 consultants
Panama
Office for Latam
since 2013

3. Some of our clients
Colaboración con

4. The Client Academy’s Emo7onal
Intelligence Model
4
• Rela7onship with self: am I
good enough?
The world
ADAPTATION TO CHANGE
Yourself
SELF-TALK
Others
DEPENDENCY
Our Emo.onal Intelligence Model is based around managing
three rela7onships at work:
• Rela7onship with others, on
whom we depend to obtain
results: can I trust them?
• Rela7onship with the
organiza7on and the world: will
it work?

5. 5
What is Emo7onal Intelligence
Emo.onal Intelligence is the
capacity to read and manage our
emo5ons as well as other people’s
so that we can guide our
behaviour towards the best result
in the current situa.on

6. Sailing analogy: Emo7onal Intelligence
are the sails
6
• We are the boat
• The sea is our circumstances
• The winds are our emo.ons
• The sails are our Emo.onal
Intelligence. They allow us to get
our boat to the right des.na.on
whatever the wind and sea
condi.ons
6

7. Situa7on 1:
Rela7onship
with yourself
Am I good enough?
• Lack of confidence
• Self-doubt about our skills
• Strong self-criticism
• Shame

8. Rela7onship with yourself
Case study 1: context
8
• They tend to be successful people, but their self esteem comes
from external sources instead of from within. They obtain results at
the expense of a high emo.onal cost.
• Mee7ng objec7ves comes with nega7ve emo7ons: fear of
failure, perfec.onism, impostor syndrome, etc… The self-dialogue is
nega.ve and relentless, but effec.ve.
• ARer achieving a challenge, they tend to move to the next one without
celebra7ng successes.
• Increase in the last few years of this situa.on. Execu7ves are more
exposed and alone.

9. Rela7onship with yourself
case study 1: analogy how they feel
Analogy: difference between learning to swim enjoying the water or learning to
swim by throwing yourself in the deep end when you’re s.ll hesitant

10. Rela7onship with yourself
Posi7ve side and con7nuum
Shame
Self-doubt Self-confidence Arrogance
I’m a disaster I’m perfect
SELF-DOUBT AND SHAME HAVE A POSITIVE SIDE
• Self-doubt is like daily gymnastics to do better.
• Shame is a natural response when we have made a mistake, to admit we have
done wrong and repair relationships.
• If self-doubt and shame happen too frequently, then their negative side effects
outweigh the positives.
Where are you?

11. How to improve the rela7onship with yourself
PERSPECTIVE
• Iden.fy the irra.onal/
animal voice
• Have self-compassion
like you would do with a
friend or child
• Argue with the nega.ve
voice using evidence of
previous achievements
ANTICIPATE OBSTACLES
• Iden.fy paXerns and
obstacles.
• Prepare when…then plans
BODY LANGUAGE
• Fake it .ll you become
it
• Watch Amy Cuddy’s
TED talk on the effect of
body language on the
mind
www.ted.com/talks/
amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shap
es_who_you_are?language=en

12. Situa7on 2:
Rela7onship
with others
when we
depend on
them for our
results
Can I trust them?
• Vulnerability because of
dependency
• Mistrust
• Sensation of lack of power
• Frustration because of
different work standards

13. Rela7onship with others
Case study 2: context
13
• They tend to be very independent and responsible people
• Methodical/ specialist type of work: in Banking, oRen in IT or
Finance
• They struggle with delega.on and prefer wriXen communica.on. It is
harder to rely on your own results nowadays. We need tact and
perseverence in rela.onships as well as technical mastery.

14. Rela7onship with others
Case study 2: how they feel
Analogy: difference between controlling everything at a RISK board-game and
feeling you could be run over by a train and not even know about it. Other people
may have out you in that position.

15. Rela7pnship with others
Posi7ve side and con7nuum
Total
dependency
Works well with
others but tends to
trust too much
Works well with
others but
tendency to
mistrust
Controlling
Total
independence
I can’t do things
alone
I can’t count on
anyone
• Positive reinforcement for taking care of things others leave unsolved
Where are you?
EXCESSIVE CONTROL HAS A POSITIVE SIDE
• Vulnerability early in life? Learned that dependency is a bad thing?
• Hyper-responsible children (e.g. Older siblings?)
• Negative effect: too much work, unnecessary effort. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy
and people start to avoid responsibility because you will pick it up.

16. How to improve the rela7onship with others
SHOW EMPATHY
Ask for the other person’s
version of events and
really listen.
Avoid blame. Ask: help me
understand how you are
experiencing this situa;on
so that we can do
something about it.
THINK AS A TEAM
Resist the tempta.on to
appor.on blame to make it
clear that it wasn’t your fault.
Think about what you have
to lose in future if the
rela.onship sours.
Collaborate as a team to
solve it.
FOSTER AUTONOMY
Don’t cri.cize too much or
they will feel that
whatever they do, you
won’t be happy.
Agree on what needs to be
done and leave autonomy
on how to get it done.

17. Situa7on 3:
Rela7onship
with the world
through
adapta7on to
change
¿Puedo confiar en ellos?
• Dependencia
• Desconfianza
• Sensación de
falta de poder
• Insatisfacción ante
diferentes estándares de
trabajo
Will it work?
• Fear
• Uncertainty
• Lack of control
• Helplessness

18. Adapta7on to change
case study 3: context
18
• They tend to be people who priori7ze stability, security,
rou7nes
• Detailed work where they have to iden7fy risks: In banking
risk management, compliance, finance.
• For them change is a painful process of personal turmoil. They
change when it’s absolutely necessary and when resons have been well
explained.
• For them op7mism has to be based on facts

19. Adapta7on to change
case study 3: how they feel
Analogy: difference between relinquishing control in a safe environment like a roller-
coaster and feeling you’re freefalling head first.

20. Adapta7on to change
Posi7ve side and con7nuum
I avoid
change
Mo.va.on to change is
posi.ve (aspira.onal)
I seek change
otherwise I’m
bored
I try to do things the
same
I can’t do things the
same
• They want prior thoughbul plan before changing
Where are you?
• Ability to see threats and risks when others don’t
• Colleagues call them pessimists, they call themselves realists
Mo.va.on to change is
nega.ve (avoidance)

21. Personalized plan to leave the comfort zone. Small steps to get into the
stretch zone.
Adapta7on to change
Ge^ng out of the comfort zone

22. How to improve the adapta7on to change
ANALYSIS
Use your analy.cal strength to
objec.vely assess the risks
you’re concerned about.
Do not simply get them out
and churn them over and
over. Do something about
them. Debate and either cross
them out or plan to minimize
them.
SUPPORT
Create a personalized plan of
ac.vi.es and people who can
give you sustenance during the
change process.
Internal sources: exercise, sleep,
relaxa.on, nutri.on
External sources: hobbies,
people important to you,
keeping other things stable
REALISTIC OPTIMISM
There is evidence that a bias
towards op.mism produces
beXer results.
Make a conscious effort to be
op.mis.c, whilst minimizing
the threats.
Look for evidence of past
successes of coping with
change.

23. Summary: we have talked about emo7onal intelligence in
three prac7cal situa7ons that elicit strong emo7ons
The world
ADAPTATION TO CHANGE
Yourself
SELF-TALK
Others
DEPENDENCY

24. Three key messages
The origin of the things you find difficult is positive. At some
point those behaviours have served you well.
1
Identify your irrational voice and don’t listen to it
2
Improving your emotional intelligence requires intentionality and
practice
3

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United Kingdom
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uk@theclientacademy.com
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Ciudad de Panamá,
P.O. BOX 0832-0588 Panamá.
Tel Americas: +507 9833 9293
americas@theclientacademy.com
monica.hernanz@theclientacademy.com
info@theclientacademy.com
Thank you
Get in touch! Happy to answer ques.ons or receive comments
Connect with me on
hXps://uk.linkedin.com/in/monicahernanz