1. FREEDOM PASS GRABBED BY BIRD
One day a man was using his freedom pass, when all of a sudden a bird
swooped down and grabbed it out of his hand, so he thought up a plan.
Why not use your nose as a bus pass.
The passenger tried to press his nose on the oyster card machine but the
driver said:
“Hey you, get off the bus, you put your nose on the ticket machine. You
use your bus pass, not your nose.”
In revenge the man took his head off and threw it at the driver. The driver
took revenge, grabbed hold of the man and chucked him through the
window. He landed headfirst on the pavement. In fact he went right
through the pavement and went right down into the sewer. The bus driver
even went too far and sent a mad dog into the hole in the ground. The dog
went down into the sewer and grabbed the man. He then brought him up
where the driver broke the man in two and chucked the two halves up into
the sky. The two half men went their own separate ways.
Even odder things happened. The man’s head flew off his body and down
where it went, ‘smack, into the bus. The head, minus its owner, boarded
the bus by itself and pulled the driver’s head off. The two human heads
ended up having a fight right in front of astonished passengers. Even
though the heads had no bodies attached to them that didn’t stop them
from fighting.
One of the passengers caught such a fright that his chest started to grow a
tree. The man with a tree sticking out of his chest tried to get out of the
way but the tree made it impossible.

2. All of a sudden the bus driver’s arms fell off as he tried to steer the bus
and the bus went mad. It went up a drainpipe and went right through a
window, landing in the living room