Hi I’m Brittany and I am a LolCataholic. If you don’t know what a LolCat is, you have lived a sad life Have no fear, I will be providing you with at least one LolCat later. Anyways, I’m here today to share a few stories and facts about cats. Now, I don’t want you to think of me as that creepy cat obsessed girl with no friends that wears cat ears on the reg, because I’m not… I just really happen to like cats.
TheCatLover vs. DogLover status is notorious for a person’s extreme loyalty to their chosen animal. Meaning if you like cats, you don’t like dogs and if you like dogs, you don’t like cats. I break that stereotype. I used to live in the DogLover category and I dutifully HATED cats and was pretty much obsessed with dogs. I even had my own dog encyclopedia collection!
I tried to think back to why I hated cats with such passion, and I found 3 traumatic experiences and one physical barrier that sums up my hatred. First of all, I’m super allergic to cats. That is an actual picture of my eye after I hang out with cats for like two minutes. I wont allow anyone to see the rest of the picture….
Another reason would be the show and tell trauma of my first grade year. This is a picture of me, my grandma, and her cat, Poopy. Yeah, Poopy. Who names a cat Poopy, especially a white one!!! So I was super excited to show my class the cat, but literally everyone including my evil teacher started laughing at his name. So I cried in front of everyone. Strike one.
So my parents had another cat named scrawny that had been inside a car when the motor was turned on so he had no toes. SO CREEPY! How is that supposed to give me a good impression of cats? When my parents moved from our old house and left Scrawny with my Gparents, he found us. He made a ten mile journey across major highways with no toes. I still don’t know how that little stalker did that. Strike two.
The third and most traumatizing event is the Siamese cat scene from Lady and the Tramp. Remember, I was super obsessed with dogs and this was supposed to be a movie about DOGS. so not only was I not expecting two creepy Siamese cats singing the creepiest song ever made, but I also wasn’t expecting the nightmares I had for months. This shot still kind of creeps me out…Strike Three Cats are OUT!
Okay, I will share how I got over my hatred of cats later in the presentation, but I decided to put the boring stuff aka the facts in the middle of my presentation so here we go! Now don’t worry, the boring stuff actually isn’t even that boring. As we all know ancient Egyptians used worship cats. But why??? Apparently cats controlled the vermin population back then so they were allowed into the houses of people. They then idolized the grace and poise of cats and eventually built statues like this one here.
I choose to admire how much cats can sleep. These lucky animals sleep up to 2/3 of an entire day every day, that’s the most of all mammals. Cats have more bones than humans! I thought that was so crazy. Cats also have 30 muscles in their outer ear that allows them to turn their ear 180 degrees without moving their head. They also have an amazing pain tolerance, maybe that’s how Scrawny made it home…
Big cats like the lion tiger leopard and jaguar were cool to me when I was younger. I didn’t really consider them cats, but hey I was like 5. I remember I was obsessed with the Lion King to the point where I memorized every line and every song. I bet that got annoying to replay. Anyway, these four big cats are all a part of the family Panthera, and they are the largest of all the cat species.
The Bay cat, Lynx, ocelot, and caracal are a part of the Felis family, which are much smaller in size compared to the Pantheras.
Some more members of the Felis family are the leopard cat, the puma cat, and the domestic cat. When I heard of leopard cats, my first thought was I HAVE TO HAVE ONE. Sadly I’m a poor college student with no way of buying in and no where to put it. But for you richer folks, One could be yours for only $15000 and a big back yard, they get up to four feet in length!
So I have told you why I hated cats, and with reasons like that I’m sure you’re anxious to find out why I had the change of heart. I have three main reasons that changed my mind. Their names are Harry Potter, Nibby, and Kitty Zoella. LolCats has also exponentially increased my love for cats, but I’ll give you some lolcat fun after you meet my cats.
So, Harry Potter came into my life two years ago around Thanksgiving time. It was during that super cold winter when I heard a cry outside my house. I saw this baby kitten who looked like it had been starved The animal lover in me couldn’t let him starve, so I led him into garage with a trail of Turkey. I decided to name him harry potter because he had green eyes, and a scratch on his nose like a lightening bolt. And because Harry Potter is awesome. Harry was the first cat I ever liked.
This is where the story gets sad again… So one day the dog door that Harry used to go outside was closed, and he didn’t notice so he jumped face first into it. He was super mad and ran away for the night. Then he never came back… My brother found this picture of Harry this girls facebook with a gun. A GUN. My cat was being held hostage! It gets worse. THE GIRL IS A SELF PROCLAIMED WITCH. So, despite how much I love Harry, I can’t go messing around with a witch with a gun.
So after the whole being cat jacked by a witch thing happened, I got another cat that we decided to call Nibby. I told my dad that I found him in a restaurant parking lot, but my brother and I really went and adopted him on Free kitten day. My dad still doesn’t know so let’s keep that on the downlow.
Don’t worry, my Dad likes Nibby a whole lot. He even lets him sit at the dinner table during Christmas dinner! Don’t worry, Nibby has very good manners. Okay, I can see how I’m starting to go into creepy cat girl status, but you gotta admit, that’s pretty funny.
SoNibby started down the path of cat obesity so I decided to get him a friend. This time, I told my dad I was getting my boyfriend a cat for his birthday/ My boyfriend was just like me and hated cats, but he fell in love with them after he met Nibby. I really did intend on giving it to him and then letting Nibby and Kitty have playdates, but turns out my boyfriends room mate was allergic to cats so the little Kitty lives with me now! Sorry Dad.
Oh yeah, did I mention we named her Kitty…. That’s what she’s registered as at the vet at least.. Now we have started to call her Zoiella after the maid on Flipping out, but it hasn’t really stuck yet. Kitty is super psycho and actually really annoys me at night when she destroys my art projects and makes so much noise in my room, but I really love her. She loves car rides.
Here’s a fewLolCats as promised. LolCats are hilarious cats with really bad grammar. The point is to make you laugh out loud. After you are loling, a video of a super funny cat is going to play. Thanks so much for your time, and I hope you like keyboard cat!!!
WORKS CITED• "Classification of the Felidae." History and Evolution. Web. 18 Nov. 2011.• "Getting a Cat : The Humane Society of the United States." The Humane Society of the United States .Web. 18 Nov. 2011.• "National Geographic: Cats." National Geographic - Inspiring People to Care About the Planet Since 1888. Web. 18 Nov. 2011.• "Panthera - New World Encyclopedia." Info: Main Page - New World Encyclopedia. Web. 18 Nov. 2011.