1. 12 | OLAM | APRIL 22, 2016
F E AT U R E
W
hen my son-in-law,
Yeshiah, suggested
his closest friend as
a shidduch for our
daughter, I liked the idea. After
checking him out, it was clear Ye-
hoshua Hoffman had a growing
spiritual nature. It seemed like a
great match.
The first date was delayed
until Yehoshua finished working
as a counselor in a small religious
boys’ camp in Maine. It was a job
he loved doing – hiking, climbing
and camping while teaching the
boys Yiddishkeit.
After the summer zman was
over, I casually asked my son-in-
law how things were progressing.
He looked at me in horror.
“I didn’t tell you? Yehoshua
Hoffman was in a terrible acci-
dent. He was driving a van with
13 people and pulling a trailer
carrying canoes and something
went wrong. The van and its load
flipped over. One boy, 15-year old
Gedalya Rosenblatt from Monsey,
was killed. Others were injured,
and Yehoshua became a quadri-
plegic.
“Baruch Dayan HaEmes,” I said,
in shocked.
Yeshiah continued, “I speak to
Yehoshua about every other week.
Usually his mother answers the
phone and if he isn’t too weak, we
talk in learning. He said he would
soon be moved from Maine to a
hospitalclosertohisparents’house
in Denver.”
“Next time you call him,” I
said, “ask his mother if I can speak
to her.” I had no idea what I would
say; I just knew it was what I
should do. I prayed that Hashem
would give me the right words.
Yeshiah made the introduc-
tions before I took the phone.
“Mrs. Hoffman, I was Yehoshua’s
chavrusa. You may remember we
had discussed a shidduch between
Yehoshua and my sister-in-law. If
you don’t mind, my mother-in-law
would like to speak to you.” He
handed me the phone.
“Mrs. Kantor, I’m so glad you
called.” Sari Hoffman greeted me
with warmth.
I muddled for words. “Mrs.
Hoffman, I’m so sorry. Yehoshua
has touched my heart. From all
that I heard about him its clear you
have a special son.”
“Obviously you should not feel
beholden to the shidduch. He has
a long road to recovery and the
prognosis isn’t good. May Hashem
grant that your daughter’s bashert
arrive soon and you should enjoy
her wedding.”
“Amen.” I was touched. Then
the words just slipped out. “And
you, too, will dance at your son’s
wedding.”
She answered, “Amen,” but
both of us knew this was out of
the realm of possibility. Why did
I say that? Wasn’t it better to stay
focused on reality?
Six months later, Yeshiah with
great joy announced the news:
“Yehoshua is a chassan! And the
kallah is a normal Bais Yaakov girl!”
The miracle came as a result
of Aliza Bulow and her amazing
daughter, Elisheva Hannah.
In the summer of 2007, Aliza,
a Jewish educator, and director of
theAmerican women’s division of
Ner L’Elef, an international leader-
ship program, sat next to Mrs. Sari
Hoffman at a wedding. They were
acquaintancesandsharedstoriesof
theirfavoritepeople:theirchildren.
Elisheva,Aliza’s oldest, was on her
way to Israel for her fourth year
in seminary. Aliza told Sari that
Elisheva was disillusioned with
shidduchim, going so far as to tell
her mother that she was finished
with dating and was trusting her
mother to find her a husband. Ye-
hoshua, Sari informed Aliza, was
planning to return to the Mir for
his 5th
year after the summer.
That night the terrible accident
took place. Aliza did not speak
with the Hoffmans’ again until the
family returned to Denver. And
then, Rabbi Henoch Dov and Sari
Hoffman took advantage of Aliza
and Ephraim Bulow’s offer to stay
with Yehoshua in the hospital over
a Shabbat so they could have a re-
spite break.
Baruch Hashem, Yehoshua and
the Bulows enjoyed each other’s
company. Aliza even offered to
teach him a memory technique
that would help him access his
previously-learned texts until he
was strong enough to hold a book.
AsAliza shared Shabbasim with
the newly-disabled man she start-
ed thinking a truly unbelievable
thought. She noticed how focused
Yehoshuawasondoingthestretch-
ing exercises to prevent pressure
sores, how he kept to a healthy
but limited diet so he shouldn’t be
too heavy to lift, how seriously he
took his learning when he had a
chavrusa, and the way he respected
and treated the nurses, assistants
and helpers, who now were part of
his daily life.Aliza started thinking
he might be a suitable match for
her Elisheva.
She broached the subject with
Sari,whoatfirstlaughed,andthen,
when convinced that Aliza was
The Hoffmans’
Miraculous
Marriage
The Hoffmans’
Miraculous
Marriage
The
Hoffman
family
Aliza Bulow with the twins