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@TwankersUK
   http://twankers.co.uk


          Social Media
        A Modern Day Fairy Tale
Tuesday, 16 February 2010
Once upon a time...
               ...not so long ago...




                            “The Internet”
 There was a far away land called
Tuesday, 16 February 2010
It was a happy place...



                                    Happy Place




         The people who lived there
             were called “Geeks”
Tuesday, 16 February 2010
The “Geeks” used to spend
      hours on their computers...




            ...and consume lots of fizzy
                   pop and crisps
                            (that’d be “Chips” in yankee doodle dandy speak)
Tuesday, 16 February 2010
They were very easy to spot

                            They had very large heads,
                            to protect their very large
                                      brains
                             They were very shy, but
                                 always smiling

                             They were also very, very
                            clever. Oh yes! Very bloody
                                       clever.
Tuesday, 16 February 2010
Then one day,
          “Big Business”
     got wind of the “The Internet”




Tuesday, 16 February 2010
“Big Business” wasn’t
          nice. It was very serious and
             interested in one thing.




                            Gold!
Tuesday, 16 February 2010
“Big Business” people
     were also very easy to spot.

                            They wore suits, talked
                            louder than necessary,
                             were greedy and told
                                 fibs...big fibs!

                              You could always tell
                                when they were
                            fibbing...their lips moved
Tuesday, 16 February 2010
They liked the look of
                                “The Internet”




                      And driven by greed they
                        moved in...en masse
Tuesday, 16 February 2010
“Shit & Bugger!”

                                          Shit &
                                         Bugger!




               The “Geeks” said.
        “All our techie fun is about to
         be spoilt”. But remember...
Tuesday, 16 February 2010
...they were very clever.




                      They struck a deal with
                        “Big Business”
                  (There were press releases and everything!)
Tuesday, 16 February 2010
“Big Business”, now
              dangerously armed with a
                little bit of information

                                  Bu
                                    y
                                        ou
                                          rs
                                            tu
                                               ff!
                                                  !

                     ...introduced
               “Marketing” to “The Internet”
Tuesday, 16 February 2010
The “Geeks” buggered off
         underground with all their
                   gold...




                            ...and discovered Sex!
Tuesday, 16 February 2010
“Marketing” became the
  dominant force. For many
years “The Internet” was flooded
   with false expectations




Tuesday, 16 February 2010
...then something happened.
         A new breed appeared.




        The offspring of the “Geeks” had
                   grown up.
       Surprisingly, they were very sexy.
        They called themselves “Gurus”
Tuesday, 16 February 2010
The “Gurus” had created a
   new district of “The Internet”




       They called it “Social Media”
             How cool is that!
Tuesday, 16 February 2010
“Social Media” brought the fun and
         sharing back to the people




           Everyone could join in. Even the aloof
           and up their own arse, celebrities went
             there...mainly to boost their egos.

Tuesday, 16 February 2010
“Social Media” thrived.




                    It was party time!
                “Woo get down!” They said
           A new interactive culture was created

Tuesday, 16 February 2010
“Big Business” was
                     scared and confused




       “Marketing” became a
   diminishing force, it was being
     replaced by honest opinion
Tuesday, 16 February 2010
To their credit “Big Business”
      tried to understand “Social Media”




              But regularly f*cked it up in a big way
              ...they just couldn’t stop “Marketing”!
Tuesday, 16 February 2010
They needed to understand
       “Social Media” better



                             BES
                                 T
                            DEC BY
                               200
                                   9



        So they tempted some of the
       “Gurus” with gold....fool’s gold.
Tuesday, 16 February 2010
Some of the “Gurus”
    succumbed to temptation.




                            You know who you are!
                            Insert your face above
                    These became known as
                         “Twankers”
Tuesday, 16 February 2010
The “Twankers” got a little carried
 away with all the hype and lost touch
           with the reality.

                            n tca mp Fancy Fan Pagessmw
                                                  #
        asur eme                                            #sm
                                                          Heap wldn
   # me                                                       Big Re
          e Alerts                                                   Twee   ts
     oogl
U mG




          They talked all day and night about
         social media and genuinely believed
                  their own bullshit...
Tuesday, 16 February 2010
TIME OUT
        • This takes us up to the present day
         • February 2010
        • What follows is a glimpse of the future
         • If you’re a Twanker
           • Hold tight
           • Don’t be scared
           • If you’ve been involved to have websites black
             copious amounts of money
                                      in SEO (i.e. charging

                            listed by Google) you may have a feeling of
                   deja vu.
        •       Here we go...



Tuesday, 16 February 2010
“Big Business” bled the
   “Twankers’” knowledge dry.




          They were blissfully unaware, and
        continued to party in the only way they
                      knew how.
         (i.e. not knowing their limits and peaking too early.)
Tuesday, 16 February 2010
It wasn’t long before “Big
       Business” became “Social
             Media” savvy
                            What’s the hash tag for
                             today’s social media
                                 conference?




Tuesday, 16 February 2010
They disregarded the
                           “Twankers”


                                :-(
      The “Twankers” felt used and a
              little bit silly.
     Why hadn’t they seen this coming?
Tuesday, 16 February 2010
“Big Business” realised
      “Marketing” was no longer the holy
                    grail.




        ...they became more personable,
      trying new “word of mouth” tactics
Tuesday, 16 February 2010
But, some businesses didn’t
      quite manage it well enough



                            #FAIL
   They joined the “Twankers” in
           a new place...
Tuesday, 16 February 2010
Where they spent hours...




             ...fabricating their overly
                  exaggerated CVs

Tuesday, 16 February 2010
Some were offered new jobs
          for less money....




        ...they got over it, eventually.
            And went back to work.
Tuesday, 16 February 2010
“The Internet” became a
           happy place to live again.




       ...even diet, personal hygiene
        and fashion sense improved.
Tuesday, 16 February 2010
The “Geeks”, “Big Business”,
                  “Gurus” & “Twankers”




        ...all lived happily ever after...
                ...even though there were very few
                             women.
Tuesday, 16 February 2010
@TwankersUK
   http://twankers.co.uk


          Social Media
        A Modern Day Fairy Tale
Tuesday, 16 February 2010

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Twankers Social Media A Modern Day Fairy Tale

  • 1. @TwankersUK http://twankers.co.uk Social Media A Modern Day Fairy Tale Tuesday, 16 February 2010
  • 2. Once upon a time... ...not so long ago... “The Internet” There was a far away land called Tuesday, 16 February 2010
  • 3. It was a happy place... Happy Place The people who lived there were called “Geeks” Tuesday, 16 February 2010
  • 4. The “Geeks” used to spend hours on their computers... ...and consume lots of fizzy pop and crisps (that’d be “Chips” in yankee doodle dandy speak) Tuesday, 16 February 2010
  • 5. They were very easy to spot They had very large heads, to protect their very large brains They were very shy, but always smiling They were also very, very clever. Oh yes! Very bloody clever. Tuesday, 16 February 2010
  • 6. Then one day, “Big Business” got wind of the “The Internet” Tuesday, 16 February 2010
  • 7. “Big Business” wasn’t nice. It was very serious and interested in one thing. Gold! Tuesday, 16 February 2010
  • 8. “Big Business” people were also very easy to spot. They wore suits, talked louder than necessary, were greedy and told fibs...big fibs! You could always tell when they were fibbing...their lips moved Tuesday, 16 February 2010
  • 9. They liked the look of “The Internet” And driven by greed they moved in...en masse Tuesday, 16 February 2010
  • 10. “Shit & Bugger!” Shit & Bugger! The “Geeks” said. “All our techie fun is about to be spoilt”. But remember... Tuesday, 16 February 2010
  • 11. ...they were very clever. They struck a deal with “Big Business” (There were press releases and everything!) Tuesday, 16 February 2010
  • 12. “Big Business”, now dangerously armed with a little bit of information Bu y ou rs tu ff! ! ...introduced “Marketing” to “The Internet” Tuesday, 16 February 2010
  • 13. The “Geeks” buggered off underground with all their gold... ...and discovered Sex! Tuesday, 16 February 2010
  • 14. “Marketing” became the dominant force. For many years “The Internet” was flooded with false expectations Tuesday, 16 February 2010
  • 15. ...then something happened. A new breed appeared. The offspring of the “Geeks” had grown up. Surprisingly, they were very sexy. They called themselves “Gurus” Tuesday, 16 February 2010
  • 16. The “Gurus” had created a new district of “The Internet” They called it “Social Media” How cool is that! Tuesday, 16 February 2010
  • 17. “Social Media” brought the fun and sharing back to the people Everyone could join in. Even the aloof and up their own arse, celebrities went there...mainly to boost their egos. Tuesday, 16 February 2010
  • 18. “Social Media” thrived. It was party time! “Woo get down!” They said A new interactive culture was created Tuesday, 16 February 2010
  • 19. “Big Business” was scared and confused “Marketing” became a diminishing force, it was being replaced by honest opinion Tuesday, 16 February 2010
  • 20. To their credit “Big Business” tried to understand “Social Media” But regularly f*cked it up in a big way ...they just couldn’t stop “Marketing”! Tuesday, 16 February 2010
  • 21. They needed to understand “Social Media” better BES T DEC BY 200 9 So they tempted some of the “Gurus” with gold....fool’s gold. Tuesday, 16 February 2010
  • 22. Some of the “Gurus” succumbed to temptation. You know who you are! Insert your face above These became known as “Twankers” Tuesday, 16 February 2010
  • 23. The “Twankers” got a little carried away with all the hype and lost touch with the reality. n tca mp Fancy Fan Pagessmw # asur eme #sm Heap wldn # me Big Re e Alerts Twee ts oogl U mG They talked all day and night about social media and genuinely believed their own bullshit... Tuesday, 16 February 2010
  • 24. TIME OUT • This takes us up to the present day • February 2010 • What follows is a glimpse of the future • If you’re a Twanker • Hold tight • Don’t be scared • If you’ve been involved to have websites black copious amounts of money in SEO (i.e. charging listed by Google) you may have a feeling of deja vu. • Here we go... Tuesday, 16 February 2010
  • 25. “Big Business” bled the “Twankers’” knowledge dry. They were blissfully unaware, and continued to party in the only way they knew how. (i.e. not knowing their limits and peaking too early.) Tuesday, 16 February 2010
  • 26. It wasn’t long before “Big Business” became “Social Media” savvy What’s the hash tag for today’s social media conference? Tuesday, 16 February 2010
  • 27. They disregarded the “Twankers” :-( The “Twankers” felt used and a little bit silly. Why hadn’t they seen this coming? Tuesday, 16 February 2010
  • 28. “Big Business” realised “Marketing” was no longer the holy grail. ...they became more personable, trying new “word of mouth” tactics Tuesday, 16 February 2010
  • 29. But, some businesses didn’t quite manage it well enough #FAIL They joined the “Twankers” in a new place... Tuesday, 16 February 2010
  • 30. Where they spent hours... ...fabricating their overly exaggerated CVs Tuesday, 16 February 2010
  • 31. Some were offered new jobs for less money.... ...they got over it, eventually. And went back to work. Tuesday, 16 February 2010
  • 32. “The Internet” became a happy place to live again. ...even diet, personal hygiene and fashion sense improved. Tuesday, 16 February 2010
  • 33. The “Geeks”, “Big Business”, “Gurus” & “Twankers” ...all lived happily ever after... ...even though there were very few women. Tuesday, 16 February 2010
  • 34. @TwankersUK http://twankers.co.uk Social Media A Modern Day Fairy Tale Tuesday, 16 February 2010