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- 1. Dr. Susan Stuntzner PhD, LPC, LMHP, FAPA, CRC, NCC, DCC University of Idaho – Coeur d’Alene Counseling Association of India
- 2. *As an educator, counseling professional, and a person with a visible condition, it is apparent that such a resource was necessary. *A well-known experience by many are the extraordinary or out-of- the box situations that occur in the lives of persons with disabilities. Many of these are disempowering, degrading, hurtful, and bias or stigma promoting. *It appears that society expects persons with disabilities to “man up” and figure out how to move past their disability in positive way. Compounding this reality is the fact that few resources exist pertaining to successful coping and resilience in relation to disability. *A book pertaining to resilience-based strategies and disability was developed because of this need and the fact that few resources exist.
- 3. *This book written to provide individuals with disabilities and professionals working with them an introduction to life lessons and coping skills that may affect a person’s coping with disability process and sense of resilience. *Content is delivered according to an overview or introduction of skills reported by others striving to be resilient. Each domain is then delivered according to specific skills I have used and found helpful in being more resilient following disability. *The domains covered include: *Locus of Control *Regulating Your Thoughts and Emotions *Life Coping Strategies *Social Support *Purpose in Life *Outlook and Satisfaction with Life *Functioning and Independence *Spirituality *Personal Growth *Family Connections and Value
- 4. *Locus of Control (LOC) refers to a person’s belief system and whether or not they think the choices made and the actions taken will effect change in their life. *LOC has been well-studied and determined to influence how well people adjust to disability and are resilient following difficult situations. *Internal LOC is when people think or have confidence their actions will result in a positive outcome or in progress toward the goals they seek. *External LOC is when people think and feel they are victims of circumstance and nothing they do will effect change. This may result in people giving up or not even trying. *Counselors working with persons with disabilities can help them become more resilient by building a stronger internal LOC. Eight skills or strategies are discussed in this section.
- 5. *Regulating your thoughts and emotions pertains to a person’s ability to monitor, manage, and influence that which they think and feel, particularly when they experience negative ones. *Persons with disabilities can benefit from this skill because they are exposed to many negative personal and societal messages and experiences. Such situations are often “out-of-the- ordinary” and may affect how people see themselves, others, and the world around them. *Counselors working with persons with disabilities can help them become more resilient by learning to regulate their thoughts and feelings, particularly as they relate to disability. Twelve skills or strategies are discussed in this section.
- 6. *Coping strategies to deal with life and unexpected events are essential for living a better life. The more ways people have to cope with challenging life events the better their chances of successful coping. * Sometimes life and events do not turn out as intended. With that comes the fact that the coping skills we were born with or taught do not suffice. As a result, people may find themselves needing to learn from “life”. *Counselors working with persons with disabilities can help them become more resilient by learning to develop or enhance their life coping strategies. Thirteen skills or strategies are discussed in this section.
- 7. *Social support is an essential need of all people. However, it is a part of life that often changes for people living with a disability. Friends stop coming around. Relationships and marriages sometimes end. The changes are often very drastic and sudden. *Developing and maintaining social support is essential for positive coping and resilience following disability. For this reason, the stronger a person’s support system, including the relationship held with oneself, is essential. *Counselors working with persons with disabilities can help them become more resilient by identifying who is supportive and encouraging versus who is not. Having a strong social support is essential for persons with disability in becoming resilient. Eight skills are discussed in this section.
- 8. *Purpose in life is a value or way of life important to many people. Related to this is the reality that some have a need or desire to find meaning and value in challenging or unforeseen life events, such as disability. *The journey of finding meaning and purpose is not always easy nor it is encouraged as a part of Westernized society. However, it is a component to life that once found can enhance it and improve coping following situations such as disability. *Counselors working with persons with disabilities can help them become more resilient by finding their purpose in life or if desired, determining meaning in the disability. Eight skills which may be used are discussed in this section.
- 9. *Outlook on life affects peoples’ attitude, perception, and sense of satisfaction. It resembles that part of ourselves which determines how people view their situation and set of circumstances, including living with a disability. *People who view their life in a negative way may feel disempowered or discouraged. While life and its surrounding events may not always go the way people hope, it is our outlook and perspective that influences how people look at and respond to their life and set of circumstances. *Counselors working with persons with disabilities can help them become more resilient by having a better outlook on life. For some, this may not be an easy process but it is a journey that can help them with happiness and a sense of contentedness. Ten skills are discussed in this section.
- 10. *Functioning and independence are important aspects of life to consider when exploring resiliency. The advent of disability often affects a person’s functioning and independence but that does not mean someone could not become independent or improve his or overall emotional, mental, or behavioral functioning. *An under-recognized component of living with a disability is that it can be a catalyst or gateway for learning new skills or refining the ones we have. It is through the disability and its associated experiences (i.e., desired or not) that people learn skills and abilities that can greatly impact their life. A part of this may be learning to maximize one’s strengths. *Counselors working with persons with disabilities can help them better understand their functioning and abilities following disability and strive toward maximizing their independence. Seven skills which may be used are discussed in this section.
- 11. *Spirituality is something that means different things to people. It is a factor related to positive coping and adaptation and to resiliency. Persons with disabilities striving to cope well often report spirituality as a part of themselves that is of great value. *Despite its value, spirituality and personal beliefs in a Higher Being is a challenge for some helping professionals to embrace. As a result, it is important that counselors examine their own comfort level and willingness to embrace the exploration and promotion of spirituality within the therapeutic relationship. *Counselors working with persons with disabilities can help them become more resilient by identifying and enhancing their spirituality particularly given the fact that it is an important part of life and successful coping for many individuals. Thirteen skills are discussed in this section.
- 12. *Personal growth is something often reported as a “by-product” of people who experience difficult and life changing events such as disability. While it does not occur automatically, personal growth, insight, and spiritual maturity are things that happen when persons with disabilities work through the emotions, thoughts, and concerns that hold them back. *Personal growth and enlightenment are not easy because they are decisions and actions that require effort and change. Yet, the interesting part of growth and change is that people tend to be motivated and prompted to do something different through the experience of life challenges and when that which they are doing ceases to work. *Counselors working with persons with disabilities can help them become more resilient by discovering the positive growth associated with disability that may occur. Nine skills or strategies are discussed in this section.
- 13. *Family support and relationships are very powerful and have the ability to influence persons with disabilities in a positive or negative manner. For many, families are a means through which we learn about ourselves, others, and the world around us. They often shape for better or worse, “our values, perceptions, expectations, societal rules, behavior, and morals.” *Family connections and values is about more than one’s family. It is also about the lessons and values we learned from family. In many instances, these may be a mixture of both positive and negative. A part of being resilient involves learning how to “sift” through both and determine which ones we will keep and those we want to change. *Counselors working with persons with disabilities can help them become more resilient by enhancing their familial relationships and support systems. Five skills which may be used are discussed in this section.
- 14. 1. This book was written for individuals living with a disability and professionals working with them. Since few resources exist pertaining to resiliency and strategies to help people cope better following disability, it was felt that such a resource was necessary. 2. Information covered in this resource is laid out in an applied fashion so that persons with disabilities and professionals can review the life lessons/skills encapsulated within domains related to resilience and use them as is relevant.
- 15. 3. Following this resource was the development of a resilience-based intervention designed to expose and teach individuals with disabilities resiliency skills (i.e., Stuntzner & Hartley’s Life Enhancement Intervention: Developing Resiliency Skills Following Disability). However, it is also acknowledged that people may need various ways to access information they can use. This book is one way to help people do that and to remain cost effective. 4. Those interested in knowing more can purchase the book online at Amazon.com or they can contact the publisher directly: Counseling Association of India - caindia@gmail.com. People who have questions may also contact me directly.
- 16. Susan Stuntzner PhD, LPC, LMHP, CRC, NCC, DCC Assistant Professor Rehabilitation Counseling and Human Services Program University of Idaho – Coeur d’Alene 1031 N. Academic Way Coeur d’Alene, ID 83814 Email: stuntzner@uidaho.edu Phone: (208) 292-1409 Website Information: www.therapeutic-healing-disability. com Counseling Association of India: caindia@gmail.com
Editor's Notes
- Share story about research interests: forgiveness, self-compassion, and resilience. The very beginning occurred when I was in graduate school and looking for a way to provide people with resources and information to help them with coping. Although I always felt there was a need for this, my graduate research work on forgiveness among persons with spinal cord injury solidified this. It became apparent that more needs to be done to provide people with the means and resources to help themselves. As I learned more about other areas that might be tied to forgiveness, I began to explore ways to connect forgiveness to resilience. As I ventured down this path, it became apparent that there weren’t any interventions or strategies to help persons with disabilities become more resilient. As I worked with this topic, I then started with the creation of this book. My aim was to use the education combined with my personal experience to develop a resource that would be accessible and affordable to persons with disabilities and professionals working with them should they so choose. This book provided me with a practical foundation of the many, multiple skills that are needed to move through life when living with a disability or when life goes in a different direction than anticipated. It was a journey that also brought to the forefront of my consciousness the importance of having being able to use a number of skills, especially when the ones normally used stop or aren’t working.
- Each of these domains are discussed throughout the literature on resilience and many are also key, well-known factors that impact positive coping following a disability. Specific life lessons are described in an applied fashion where the aim is to have one page per skill that covers the specific skill, its potential application to persons with disabilities, and a thought for reflection to guide the reader’s focus. This book was also written as a pre-cursor to the development of a resilience-based intervention for persons with disabilities. Such interventions don’t exist for mainstream population let alone persons with disabilities. Due to the plethora of out-of-the-ordinary experiences often cast upon persons with disabilities such a book that is affordable and practical is needed in addition to the reality that many individuals may not have the finances or luxury of accessing counseling for extended periods of time. It is my hope that this resource can provide insight into coping and resilience-based skills that people and professionals may consider and utilize as they relate to disability.
- Learning to deal with difficult and challenging thoughts and emotions is not easy but it can improve with practice. It is important that people do not internalize negative societal messages and take them on as their own. Such experiences if internalized can negatively influence a person’s ability to regulate their self-perception, thoughts, and emotions. To give them an idea of what this section means, briefly talk about these. Examples include: Learn to Deal with Ambiguity Focus on the Positive Rather than the Negative Practicing Gratitude
- Sometimes the skills we have just stop working for whatever reason or during a specific period of time. It is during times such as these that persons with disabilities may find it is time to ask themselves “Are there skills and abilities I have learned since living with a disability or from life that I can further develop and utilize?” The “life” skills chosen for one person may vary from another and what is most important is for people to discover what works for them. The skills shared in this section are those used and discovered in relation to my own life. Examples include: Give yourself time – Know you may not know everything and change takes time. A slogan I learned to live by is, “To thyself be true….” Become a sleuth – Is about being willing to learn about information and to ask questions. If I don’t do this for myself then who will? Acquire Clarity & Vision – Doing what you can to develop a vision of what you want your life to be like. People tend to have hard time with this part of life and it may feel awkward or hazy but with continued work it can become clearer. Such a practice also helps a person find her voice, something often lacking in the lives of persons with disabilities.
- A part of developing a strong social support is assessing how well the current one is or is not working, identifying changes that have occurred because of disability, and becoming clearer in how you want to be treated by others. PWDs sometimes report negative social or interaction relationships and situations. While some of these situations may happen, it does not mean people must just put up with it. Rather, it means people must actively decide what they want and to make steps toward developing it or maintaining it. A key skill tied to this I refer to in my book is “seeking out like minded people.” The world is filled in unbelieving and negative people but it does not mean persons with disabilities must settle for that in their own lives. The better we can decide what and who we want in our life and who is supportive the more true we are to our “inner self” and need. Related to this are the lessons: Surrounds Yourself with Winners Reject the Nay Sayers
- For some, finding purpose may be trying to answer the questions “Why did this happen?” Or, “What am I to do now?” Too often, these questions have been viewed in a negative life or as resemblance of someone not coping well. However, such beliefs are based in the notion that people should “just buck up” without ever taking the time to explore a deeper meaning or purpose in the events that happen. Additionally, Western society does not welcome or encourage people to ask such questions. The unspoken part of this journey is that the desire to seek meaning and purpose in the advent of disability can help a person learn more about oneself and discover the positive side of disability. Examples include “Finding a Higher Purpose” in one’s disability and situation and the ways it can help others or improve society as a whole. Additionally, it can help people find their own on path and voice and this may not have been so clear were it not for the experiences one has endured.
- Dealing with a disability is not an easy task. It is an event that involves many changes, some of which not be desired or welcome. However, as with any situation, people have two choices: (1) To rise above and move on or (2) To let it define who they are. Having a positive outlook and sense of satisfaction is always easier when life goes the way we want it to. It is much more challenging when events do not turn out as planned. The advent of disability is a life-changing experience that forever changes peoples’ life and that of those around them. Yet, enough is known today about peoples’ coping abilities and resiliency to understand that “happiness” and “positive coping” is not necessarily tied to “what” or “how much” people have. Afterall, most of us see this in the lives of very wealthy individuals, many of whom are not happy or experience personal inadequacies and difficulties just like others with fewer resources and income. PWDs who may be challenged in their ability to have a better outlook on life may benefit from work in this area. Changing one’s outlook is not always easy but it is possible and it is a skill that becomes more fluid and natural with practice. Sometimes people need help seeing the possibilities. Examples of specific skills I have found useful include: Desiring Better for Myself – Talk about what this means…. Visualizing the Possibilities Separate Needs from Wants – What is this and what does this look like?
- Westernized societal values independence. This is not about articulating whether or not this is the best approach to life or not but about understanding that disability is an event that can be used to improve our understanding of abilities. For some it may be about the journey of sorting out when to do things for oneself versus allowing ourselves to be the recipient of additional support (i.e., concept of interdependence). Through the exploration of functioning and independence as it relates to my life and situation is that it has taught me to (a) focus on my abilities and what I can do, (b) rediscover my personal strengths as well as limitations often in ways not anticipated, and © explore changes that could be made in my life to help improve my functioning and sense of independence. This is that part of life that taught me to develop new or refine skills to a new level to achieve a higher place of independence.
- Spirituality is a skill and approach to life that can be developed and refined. Where a person is today does not have to dictate what is to be… Where a person is now is not necessarily where he or she will be in 5 or 10 years. Spirituality is a strong component and factor associated with positive coping and disability. For example, some people may report they have become a “better person” (i.e., more compassionate, less worried about trivial stuff, focus on what is truly important). Others feel that “God had a reason and is seen as a source of unending support and unconditional love.” Also of value is the recognition that some PWDs may have been sent overt or covert messages about the meaning of disability and God. More specifically, this means that the message may have been promoted that “they have a disability, have done something wrong, and are therefore sinful.” Such beliefs and internalized messages are of concern because they can inhibit positive coping and development of resiliency. For this reason, a part of spirituality may be the uncovering and recognizing of ‘negative’ messages and beliefs so that people can focus on healing and on the development of better ones (i.e., a stronger relationship with a Higher Power). Spirituality is also about the daily practices one uses: forgiveness, acceptance of what is, kindness toward self and other, viewing difficult events as the potential for becoming a “life lesson.”
- Personal growth is not always desired but it is a process that makes us better individuals when we allo w it to. Part of this is because the pain we feel stretches our comfort level, prompts us into making changes, and shows us parts of ourselves that may not have been in our field of awareness. We all have the ability to change and grow but the question becomes whether or not we will open ourselves to it willingly or not. Some people become willing when that which they do no longer is effective. The positives that may be obtained from living a disability are many. Some of these include: empathy, compassion, wisdom, self-confidence/assuredness, patient, meaning in life etc. A key component in personal growth is developing the skill(s) to look at difficult/challenging situations as opportunities for growth. A part of that may be asking yourself, “What can I learn from this?” “How can this experience change me in positive ways should I allow it to?” Personal growth may start with acknowledging that “Life is Not Fair” nor does it always go the way we want it too. But the decision remains, “What will you do with that which is in front of you?” Sometimes it is through our own challenges that we learn of the ability we have to help others in positive ways.
- While it may be ideal, if persons with disabilities come from supportive and resilient families, sometimes this is not case. Sometimes it is after a while that people begin to recognize the value, positively or negatively their family had on them, their situation, and the way they view life. As much as people would sometimes like, they cannot change their family or specific family members, but they can decide for themselves what learned that was positive and constructive and would like to carry forward with them in life versus not. Related to this, people may decide if they want to embrace their family or specific family members or not. In some situations when there is no constructive family support from biological family members, people may be faced with the decision of whether or not they will “find others” within their life to provide support and encouragement.