1. 1
THE COCKROACH PLAYS
THE UNINVITED GUESTS
And
DREAMS OF A BETTER FUTURE
By
SEAN DEVNEY
DEVNEY PRODUCTIONS
Devneyproductions1@JUNO.com
646-474-9306

2. 2
Even cockroaches have dreams…..
Note to the director:
The actors playing the roaches should wear dark brown or black clothing, gloves, etc. There
should be no colors on them. Also, the actors MUST wear wrap around sunglasses, so the
audience can’t see their “human” eyes. They also must have antennae on top of their heads.

3. 3
THE UNINVITED GUESTS
CAST OF CHARACTERS:
LARRY- mid thirties; works in a boring office job….
MR COCKROACH- age unknown; can be cranky…..
MRS COCKROACH- age unknown; can be fussy…..
BETTY- works with Mr Cockroach….
JOE- Larry’s old college roommate and sometime drug dealer….
The play takes place in Larry’s apartment……
This play bas been described as a sitcom on acid……which I think is pretty good…..

4. 4
SCENE ONE- (the stage is dark; there are two figures sitting at a table in the middle of the
stage. Larry, the tenant of the apartment, walks on stage and turns on the lights. Sitting at the
table are two human sized cockroaches eating a Chinese dinner. They both look at Larry. Larry
sees them and freezes in mid stride. He says, with his mouth flapping open)-
LARRY- (stunned)- Oh, my God! What – what the hell –
(The two cockroaches stare at Larry. They have their forks in mid air, dripping with food. Larry
coughs and says, after pulling himself together)-
LARRY- Who are you? How did you get in here?
(The two cockroaches continue to stare at Larry. He says, with a strangled laugh)-
LARRY- Ha, ha! I must be dreaming! You both look like giant cockroaches! But that’s
ridiculous!
(The two cockroaches look at each other and then back at Larry, who is beginning to sweat. Mr
Cockroach finally says)-
MR COCKROACH- You can tell?
LARRY- What? Boy, I really must be drunk this time! I thought you said something to me!
That’s crazy!
MR COCKROACH- You can understand me, can’t you? I am speaking English, correct?
LARRY- Yeah, yeah, you sound fine.
(His voice drifts off…..he says, shaking his head and laughing)-
LARRY- Oh, man, I finally went off the deep end! All of those years of doing drugs have finally
caught up with me! I have two giant talking cockroaches in my apartment, eating a Chinese
dinner! My God! What am I going to see next? Pink elephants?
(The two cockroaches look at each other. Mrs Cockroach says, sounding concerned)-
MRS COCKROACH- Really, Larry! Get a hold of yourself! Come and sit down and have some
chicken lo mein with us! It’s really very good!
(Larry hesitates; he walks over to the table and sits down. He rubs his face. He looks tired and
stressed out. His tie is partially untied and the top button of his white shirt is unbuttoned. He
clearly has had a rough day at work. He says, laughing nervously)-
LARRY- You know, maybe I need a vacation or something! I really thought for a moment you
were a couple of giant talking cockroaches! Boy, wouldn’t that be something!
(The two cockroaches stare at him. Mr Cockroach says)-
MR COCKROACH- But we are two giant talking cockroaches, Larry!
LARRY- (laughs nervously)- Ha, ha! Very funny! And I’m Donald Trump!

5. 5
(Mr Cockroach reaches over and pinches Larry. Larry jumps up and says angrily)-
LARRY- Hey! What did you do that for?
MR COCKROACH- To prove to you that you’re not dreaming!
MRS COCKROACH- Oh Larry! Why can’t you accept us as we are? We just want to live our
lives in peace like everyone else! We don’t want to hurt you!
LARRY- Well, that’s a relief!
MRS COCKROACH- Be serious, Larry! Do you realize how hard it is to find a decent
apartment in this city? Everything is just so expensive nowadays! It wasn’t like this when we
were growing up!
LARRY- Yeah, tell me about it! Wait a minute! Are you for real? But – but how?
MR COCKROACH- Oh, I don’t know, Larry! How can you answer something like that? Are
we products of a scientific experiment gone awry? Or are we visitors from another planet?
Maybe we are and maybe not. It doesn’t really matter now, does it? We’re here and we’re not
going anywhere!
(Larry stares at the cockroaches for a long pause and then says finally)-
LARRY- Now, wait a minute, you two! This is my apartment and you can’t just crawl in here
and take it over just like that! You have no right to do that!
MR COCKROACH- Oh, great Zorg! Now, you listen to me, young man! We walked in here
just like you did! We’re not your ordinary run of the mill cockroaches! No sirree! We’re
educated! We know how to read, play chess and we like to watch the evening news just like
everyone else! We’re no different from you!
MRS COCKROACH- Oh and we both like Keith Olbermann! I think he’s really cute!
(Larry looks at them with a confused look on his face. He says, angrily)-
LARRY- Now, look, you two! I don’t care how you got in here! You both have to leave tonight!
I pay really good money to live here and I’ll be damned if two giant talking cockroaches drive
me out! If you don’t get out, I’ll get the Raid!
MR COCKROACH- (to Mrs Cockroach)- You see? I told you this would happen but you never
listen to me! He’s just like the rest of them! He’s anti – cockroach!
MRS COCKROACH- (shaking her head sadly)- Oh, Larry. I’m soooo disappointed in you! I
thought you would understand us! You’re so smart and educated! You even belong to PETA!
How could you be so – so ordinary?
LARRY- Hey, wait a minute! I’m just as open minded as the next guy but this is pushing it too
far!
(The two cockroaches look at each other, clearly disappointed. Mrs Cockroach says)-

6. 6
MRS COCKROACH- Yes, well, I was clearly wrong about you. I thought you would be
different but you’re just like the rest of them! You humans are all alike! Just because we’re giant
cockroaches doesn’t mean we don’t have feelings! People spit at us in the streets, Larry! It’s
terrible! All we want to do is to live our lives in peace and quiet! We don’t want to bother you!
We like you! But everywhere we go, we’re attacked simply because we’re cockroaches! It’s not
fair!
(She begins to cry. Mr Cockroach pats her hand and says, trying to calm her down)-
MR COCKROACH- Now, now, mother! Take it easy! We’ll figure something out! You’ll see!
MRS COCKROACH- (drying her tears with a napkin)- I’m all right, pa! You know, Larry –
there’s more of us than there are of you! If we had wanted to, we could’ve easily taken over the
world! But we don’t want to do that! It’s uncivilized. But you want to know something? We’re
been watching you for a long time and we could’ve killed you in your sleep! Think about that,
young man!
LARRY- Now, wait a minute! You’ve been here all this time and you’ve been spying on me?
MR COCKROACH- Well, yes, Larry. We like you. That’s why we took the chance to come
out of the shadows! We thought you might be different from the rest of them but now we see we
were wrong about you! We’ll leave. Come, mother.
(They both get up and start to walk off stage. Larry watches them go and says, waving to them)-
LARRY- All right, you two. Just stop where you are. You can stay.
(The two cockroaches stop and look at Larry. Mrs Cockroach says)-
MRS COCKROACH- You really mean it?
LARRY- (wearily)- Yeah. Come back and finish your dinner. I’m sorry I yelled at you like that.
(The two cockroaches walk back to the table and sit down. Mrs Cockroach says gratefully)-
MRS COCKROACH- Oh, thank you, Larry! That’s so sweet of you! But what changed your
mind?
LARRY- Well, I’ve lived in this city my whole life and cockroaches have never bothered me, so
what the hell!
MRS COCKROACH- You know, Larry, my husband works downtown at the city planning
agency! He makes very good money!
LARRY- Yeah? That so? Huh. I guess they’ll hire anyone nowadays. (To Mr Cockroach)- No
offense.
MR COCKROACH- None taken.
LARRY- Well, look – what do I call you?

7. 7
MR COCKROACH- You can call me Bill and my wife’s name is Janet.
LARRY- Well, uh, Bill, if you could just give me half the rent, that would be fine.
MR COCKROACH- Oh, this is wonderful! Janet is an excellent cook and housekeeper! She’ll
have this apartment cleaned up in no time!
LARRY- Wonderful.
MR COCKROACH- Did I mention that she could cook? She makes a wonderful lamb stew!
LARRY- I can imagine. Well, I’m going out for a drink. I need one after today.
(He gets up slowly and walks off stage, looking haggard. Mrs Cockroach says)-
MRS COCKROACH- Don’t stay out too late, Larry!
LARRY- I won’t! Don’t stay up for me!
(Larry walks off stage, muttering under his breath. Mrs Cockroach says excitedly)-
MRS COCKROACH- Oh, he’s such a wonderful boy!
MR COCKROACH- Wow, mother! We finally found a really nice apartment! Just wait until I
tell the boys down at the office! (Looks at his wristwatch)- Well, mother, it’s time for CSI!
MRS COCKROACH- Oh, pa, we finally made it!
(They hug and get up and walk off stage. Lights go out. End of scene)-
SCENE TWO- (scene takes place the next morning; the lights come up and the two cockroaches
are sitting at the kitchen table, eating their breakfast and reading the New York Times. Larry
walks on stage, yawning and rubbing his eyes. Clearly he has had a rough night. He is wearing a
blue moth eaten bathrobe and he has pink rabbit slippers. He sits down at the left end of the
table. He says, sleepily)-
LARRY- Boy, that was some night last night! I thought there were two giant talking
cockroaches in my apartment and I couldn’t get rid of them! Man, I thought I was having an acid
flashback or something! Weird!
(The two cockroaches stop what they are doing and look at him. Mrs Cockroach says brightly)-
MRS COCKROACH- And a good morning to you, Larry! Did you sleep well?
LARRY- (looks at the two cockroaches and says pleasantly)- Yes, I did. Thanks for asking. (He
does a classic double take. He says)- Oh, my God! Are you real?
MR COCKROACH- Of course we’re real!
LARRY- Oh, man! I was hoping you were just a figment of my imagination! What are you
doing here?

8. 8
MR COCKROACH- Did you forget our agreement?
LARRY- Agreement? What agreement?
MR COCKROACH- You said we could stay here in the apartment with you! Don’t you
remember?
LARRY- What? I agreed to that? I don’t remember that! Look, you can’t stay here! This is my
apartment and I pay really good money to live here! You’ve got to go!
MR COCKROACH- What’s wrong? We’re clean!
LARRY- That’s not the point! Oh, man! I can’t believe this is happening!
MRS COCKROACH- Look, Larry, I think you need someone to help you. I mean, just look at
this place! It’s a pig sty! When was the last time you cleaned it?
LARRY- Oh, man! I can’t believe this is happening to me! Look – you better be out of here by
the time I come back tonight! I can’t deal with this right now! I have to meet a new client today!
Oh, man – I must be losing my mind or something!
MR COCKROACH- Look, Larry. We know how you feel! You’re under a lot of stress! I can
relate to it, you now? Do you want me to give you a backrub or something?
LARRY- (jumping up and shaking his head)- That’s it, man! I want you out of here! If you
don’t leave, I’ll – I’ll call the exterminator!
MRS COCKROACH- Oh, really, Larry! Calm down! What’s wrong with you?!
LARRY- (sits back down, looking tired and worn out)- Oh, I don’t know. My life is a mess. My
job sucks and my last girlfriend left me for another woman. And now, I have two giant talking
cockroaches in my apartment and they won’t leave! Did I leave anything out?
MRS COCKROACH- (on the verge of tears)- Well, for your information, our lives aren’t great
either! We get attacked no matter where we go! I just don’t understand why people hate us so
much! What did we do to deserve such treatment? (She starts to cry. She takes out a
handkerchief and blows her nose. Mr cockroach tries to calm her down, saying things like,
“There, there, dear, take it easy!” Mrs Cockroach blurts out)- And on top of all that, I’m
pregnant!
LARRY- (coughing)- You – you’re what? Pregnant? How did that happen?
MR COCKROACH- Well, you see, first e went to a really nice French restaurant and then we
took a carriage ride in Central Park at sunset! After that, well, you know the rest!
MRS COCKROACH- Oh, he was sooooo romantic!
LARRY- Oh, God! Look, what am I supposed to do here? Oh, brother. Well, obviously, you’ll
have to stay! I mean, I can’t have the two of you wandering around the city in this condition! I’m
not that heartless!

9. 9
MRS COCKROACH- Oh, bless you, Larry! I could kiss you!
LARRY- Uh, that’s okay. Look, I have to get dressed and get going. See you later.
(He gets up and wanders off stage in a daze. Mrs Cockroach says to Mr Cockroach)-
MRS COCKROACH- He’s so nice! I’m glad we moved in! He’ll help us, I’m sure!
MR COCKROACH- Oh, this is great! Just wait until I tell the boys down at the office! They’ll
be so thrilled!
(They hug and the lights go out. End of scene)-
SCENE THREE- (as the lights come up, Mrs Cockroach is sweeping the floor. Mr Cockroach
is sitting at the table, reading the New York Times. Larry walks on stage with a young woman.
He says to her)-
LARRY- Uh, Sarah, these are the people I was talking about.
(The woman takes one look at the cockroaches and lets out a blood curling scream and runs off
stage. Larry sighs and walks over to the table and sits down with a heavy sigh. He says)-
LARRY- Oh, boy. Well, that didn’t go as planned.
MRS COCKROACH- Who was she?
LARRY- Oh, someone I know from work. We went out for a few drinks and then I told her
about you guys but she didn’t believe me. She wanted to come over and see you in person.
MRS COCKROACH- Well, we’re used to that kind of treatment. People can be so narrow
minded.
LARRY- Yeah, well, there goes my love life.
MR COCKROACH- What love life?
LARRY- Touché.
MRS COCKROACH- Listen, Larry, Mr Cockroach knows a really nice woman who knows us.
She works with him at the planning agency. Maybe you could meet her. Would that be all right?
LARRY- Oh, I don’t know. My track record hasn’t been so good lately. I’ll think about it. Right
now, I’m tired and I’m going to bed. See you.
(He walks off stage. Mrs Cockroach says)-
MRS COCKROACH- He’s such a nice boy! Why can’t he find a nice woman and settle down?
MR COCKROACH- Oh, mother, he’s a grown man! Stop fussing over him!
MRS COCKROACH- Yes, pa.

10. 10
(She goes back to sweeping the floor and Mr Cockroach goes back to reading his newspaper.
The lights go out. End of scene)-
SCENE FOUR- (the lights come up; Mrs Cockroach is sitting in a chair, knitting some very
small blue booties. Mr Cockroach is sitting at the table, reading “War and Peace” by Count Leo
Tolstoy. Larry walks on stage with an old friend, Joe. Joe is a pothead and slacker. He wears an
old army jacket, old ripped jeans and a blue cap over his long hair. As they walk on stage, Joe
stops and says)-
JOE- Dude! You weren’t kidding! This is soooo cool!
LARRY- You wanna beer?
JOE- Sure!
(Larry walks over to the fridge and takes out two beers. He hands one to Joe. Joe says)-
JOE- Hey, can they talk?
LARRY- Yes. Ask them something.
(Joe walks over to Mrs Cockroach and says to her, like he’s talking to a foreigner)-
JOE- (slowly)- Heelllooo! What are you doing?
MRS COCKROACH- (holding up a little bootie)- I’m making little booties! See?
(Joe looks at the bootie with a confused look on his face. He says, shaking his head)-
JOE- Uh, I must still be high or something. I can’t believe I’m seeing this!
(He backs away slowly. Mrs Cockroach says to Larry sharply)-
MRS COCKROACH- Larry? Can we have a word with you please?
LARRY- Sure.
(Larry walks over to Mrs Cockroach. Mr Cockroach gets up and joins them. Mrs Cockroach
says to Larry in a stage whisper)-
MRS COCKROACH- (angrily)- Larry, we are NOT some kind of animal in a zoo! You just
can’t bring people in here like this! We have feelings too, you know? And we don’t like him!
Why, he’s – he’s some kind of – of –
MR COCKROACH- I think she means he’s some kind of drug addict! Does he even have a
job?
LARRY- Yeah, sometimes. He does odd jobs.
MRS COCKROACH- Does he smoke marijuana? I can smell it on him!

11. 11
LARRY- Yea, sometimes. Look, he’s a good friend of mine! We go way back!
MRS COCKROACH- Look, Larry, he’s just not the kind of person you should be hanging out
with! He’s a bad influence! Just look at him!
(They look at Joe standing off to the side. He is staring at his hand as if for the very first time
and giggling. Larry sighs and says reluctantly)-
LARRY- I see what you mean. I’ll get rid of him.
MRS COCKROACH- Would you please? I don’t think he’s all there. (She taps her head
knowingly)-
(Larry walks over to Joe and says)-
LARRY- Uh, Joe, they don’t want you here. You’re making them feel uncomfortable.
JOE- I am? (To the cockroaches)- Gee, I’m sorry! It’s just that I thought he was kidding when
he told me about you! I had no idea you were real!
MRS COCKROACH- That’s okay. We understand. So, Joe, where do you live?
JOE- Oh, I’m crashing at a friend’s apartment. The rent is getting too high for me!
(He giggles. Mrs Cockroach asks him)-
MRS COCKROACH- What are you doing for a job?
JOE- Oh, this and that. It’s kinda hard to find work these days. No one’s hiring! The economy
and all that, you know.
MRS COCKROACH- Yes, things are bad out there. What kind of work do you normally do?
JOE- Oh, I have a security guard license. (Looks at his watch and says)- Ooooh! Look at the
time! I really have to get going! See you Larry and thanks for the beer!
(He runs off stage. Larry says to the cockroaches)-
LARRY- Are you happy now?
(He walks off stage in a huff; the lights go out. End of scene)-
SCENE FIVE- (the lights come up; Larry is sitting on a couch, watching TV and drinking a
beer. Mr and Mrs Cockroach walk on stage, followed by an attractive young woman. Mrs
Cockroach says to Larry)-
MRS COCKROACH- Uh, Larry, we want you to meet someone. Her name is Betty.
(Larry turns around and sees the woman. He jumps up and says to her with a smile)-
LARRY- Hi!

12. 12
BETTY- Hi!
(All four stand around awkwardly, unsure of what to do next. Mrs Cockroach says, clearly her
throat)-
MRS COCKROACH- Larry, this is the young woman we were talking about. She works with
Mr Cockroach down at the city planning agency.
LARRY- Well, uh, it must be an interesting place to work.
BETTY- (laughs)- No, not really! It’s just another job to me! You see, I’m really an actress,
waiting for my big break!
LARRY- Oh. There are lots of those floating around the city.
BETTY- Yeah, tell me about it! So, you wind up doing all kinds of jobs just to pay the rent.
What do you do?
LARRY- I work in real estate but really, I’m a writer.
BETTY- Oh? Have you had anything published?
LARRY- Oh, a few articles. Nothing much, I’m afraid.
MRS COCKROACH- Pa! Join me in the kitchen!
MR COCKROACH- What? Oh, yeah!
(They run off stage quickly. Larry says to Betty)-
LARRY- Why don’t you have a seat.
(They both sit down on the couch. They sit quietly for a moment. Both begin to say something
and stop. They laugh and Betty says)-
BETTY- Mrs Cockroach told me a lot about you.
LARRY- Yeah, she’s quite the busybody. So, you work for Mr Cockroach?
BETTY- Yeah.
LARRY- So – you do know he’s a giant talking cockroach, right?
BETTY- (laughs)- Oh, yes, I know! It was quite a shock at first but once you get to know him,
he’s really very nice and down to earth.
LARRY- (laughs)- Yeah, it was an interesting experience coming home to something like him,
all right! You know, I’ve seen a lot of strange things in this city but this really takes the cake!
BETTY- Yes, I can imagine the shock!
(They fall silent; Mrs Cockroach brings out a tray of coffee and cookies. She puts it on the table
in front of the couch. She walks away quickly. Betty says to Larry)-

13. 13
BETTY- You want cream in your coffee?
LARRY- Yes, please. So, where are you from originally?
BETTY- Oh, from the Midwest. I came out here after I graduated from college. I was lucky to
find a job working for the city. It has great benefits! One sugar or two?
LARRY- Two, please.
(Betty hands him a cup of coffee. He stirs it and takes a sip. Betty sips her coffee and Mr
Cockroach comes back on stage, grinning. He says to them)-
MR COCKROACH- Uh, we’re going to order some Chinese food. Are you two interested?
(Mrs Cockroach comes running out on stage and says, grabbing her husband)-
MRS COCKROACH- Oh, Pa! Leave them alone! Come back to the kitchen!
BETTY- (looks at her watch)- Well, I would love to stay but I have to get going. (Shakes
Larry’s hand)- It was really nice meeting you!
LARRY- It was nice meeting you!
(They pause and stand up together; they both look at each other and blush. She walks off stage,
waving good-bye. After she’s gone, Mrs Cockroach asks Larry)-
MRS COCKROACH- Well, Larry – what do you think?
LARRY- She’s really nice!
MR COCKROACH- And she’s easy on the eyes, as we used to say!
MRS COCKROACH- (hitting her husband playfully on the shoulder)- Oh, Pa! Stop it! You’re
terrible! (To Larry)- Well, Larry, should we invite her back?
LARRY- Uh, sure! Why not!
MRS COCKROACH- Good! I was hoping you would say that!
MR COCKROACH- So, when’s the wedding?
MRS COCKROACH- Oh, Pa!
(All three laugh. The lights go out. End of scene)-
SCENE SIX- (the lights come up; Larry, Betty and the two cockroaches are sitting at the table,
eating dinner. Running around are four little cockroaches, playing games. Larry says, raising a
glass of wine)-
LARRY- Well, again, congrats on your promotion, Mr Cockroach!
MR COCKROACH- And good luck with your wedding, Larry! You deserve to be happy!

14. 14
LARRY- Thank you, sir! Here’s to a happy home! Mazel Tov!
(Betty, Mr and Mrs Cockroach all say at the same time, “Here, here!” The lights fade away. End
of play)-
THE COCKROACH’S DREAM
A Monologue
SCENE- (a cockroach walks out on stage. He says to the audience)- I had a dream last night. I
dreamed I was at a fancy banquet. All of the important cockroaches were there. There was the
mayor and his two girlfriends, a famous doctor and several others. We were at a banquet hall just
off of Times Square. It was after midnight and all of the humans had left the building. We had
snuck in when no one was watching. The women all brought food and the boys supplied the
drinks. We all sat down and started toasting each other. Everyone was having a glorious time!
Waiters dressed up in their white outfits walked around, pouring wine into everyone’s cup. The
food was delicious! We stole most of it from the dumpsters out back. Oh, how the humans waste
their food! It is almost criminal! But then, a giant cake was brought out and out popped a
beautiful female cockroach dressed up as a human exterminator! She had a large canister on her
back and instead of poison, she shot out whiskey! (Laughs at the memory)- Everyone was having
a grand time when suddenly, a human walked into the banquet hall and shouted, “Hey! What the
hell is going on here? Get out you dirty cockroaches before I call the police!” Well, we all
staggered out of the hall, laughing our asses off! You should’ve seen the face of that human!
Boy, was he angry! He was cursing up a storm! I managed to grab a couple of bottles and we
wandered into Central Park to finish the party. When dawn broke, we all disappeared into the
woods and went to sleep. Ah, what a night! Then I woke up and I wish it had really happened.
Ah, well…..I can always dream of a better life, can’t I?
(He bows to the audience and walks off stage. End of scene)-
INTERMISSION
(The intermission is brought to you by Raid – kills bugs fast!)
DREAMS OF A BETTER FUTURE
By
SEAN DEVNEY

15. 15
CAST OF CHARACTERS
JEM- a brilliant, sensitive cockroach; age unknown….
TROD- a grumpy old cockroach; age unknown…..
PROPE- another old grumpy cockroach; age unknown….
JAX- young junkie cockroach who loves to sniff Raid; age unknown….
FATHER ANTER- old religious leader of the cockroaches; age unknown….
QUIN- Jem’s younger sister; age unknown….
THE HUMANS-
JANET- a young, idealistic social worker who admires Jem and his genius….
FATHER JOHNSON- old priest of a neighborhood church…..
POLICEMAN- sadistic policeman who chases the cockroaches out of the park where they stay;
nasty man. Middle aged man…..
Most of the play takes place in Washington Square Park in lower Manhattan. For the most part,
the three cockroaches sit on two long benches, pushed together. The other scenes take place in a
local church.
The curtain rises and the play begins…..

16. 16
ACT ONE
SCENE ONE- (the lights come up; three giant talking cockroaches sit on two park benches
pushed together. They are surrounded by bags of their food, personal items, etc. It is dawn – the
middle cockroach yawns and opens his eyes. He says)-
JEM- Ah, another day! It’s good to be alive!
(The cockroach on the right side of the bench says)-
TROD- (yawning and waking up)- What did you say?
JEM- I said it was good to be alive!
TROD- That’s what I thought you said.
(The cockroach on the left side says, yawning)-
PROPE- Ah, Jem! Why did you have to wake me up for? I was dreaming I was sitting in a
really nice diner, eating a slice of key lime pie and a cup of really good coffee! I hate humans but
they do know how to cook, don’t they? Ahhhh, I wish I could just walk into a diner and eat at a
counter and not be cursed at!
JEM- I’m sorry I woke you, Mr Prope! I’m sure it was a nice dream!
PROPE- Why are you so happy for, Jem?
JEM- I don’t know. I’m just happy to be alive in this great city!
PROPE- I hate to tell you this, kid, but we didn’t build it! This is the human’s city! We didn’t
build it! We’re just cockroaches and we’re homeless at that! So, I must ask you again! Why are
you so happy?
JEM- I don’t know. I love going to bookstores and reading. I love going to museums and
looking at great artwork. I admire humans and what they’ve accomplished!
(Both Prope and Trod look at each other and shake their heads. Trod says)-
TROD- So, you still have this dream that the humans will accept you for yourself? That’ll never
happen! You know the humans all hate us because of who we are! They’re always trying to kill
us! Forget your mad dream, Jem! Just accept who you are – a giant, talking cockroach!
JEM- (shaking his head)- Yeah, I know it’s hopeless. They’ll never accept me.
TROD- Look, Jem, I understand how you feel! When I was younger, I tried to get humans to
accept me but it didn’t work! They just laughed at me and told me to go away. You shouldn’t
care what they think.
JEM- But I do care! I want them to understand me! I’m an artist and I want to make my name
before it’s too late! I want my poetry and my artwork to be seen by humans! I want them to
understand how I feel about this world!

17. 17
PROPE- Uh, you can read and write?
JEM- Yes. I taught myself how to read their languages.
PROPE- How is that possible?
JEM- I don’t know. It’s easy for me. When I first learned how to read, I read everything I could
get my hands on! I read all kinds of books! I loved it! But I don’t quite understand what I’m
reading, you know? I mean, I see a word like , say, skyscraper and I don’t quite understand what
that means. What is a skyscraper? What does it do? Do you understand?
PROPE- No, I don’t know what you mean. Why can’t you be like everybody else? Why do you
have to prove yourself all the time for? Just be a cockroach! Why is that so hard for you to do?
JEM- You don’t understand me at all! I want to be more than just another cockroach! I want to
go to a school and learn things! I want to understand philosophy and talk to humans about
science and art and everything!
PROPE- You’re crazy.
TROD- Look, Jem, stop all this reading and trying to understand things! Stop trying to impress
the humans! They don’t care about you!
JEM- I know you’re right but I have this burning desire to do and understand things! I don’t
know why!
PROPE- Well, kid, you have guts – I’ll give you that. Just be careful what you wish for.
(A roach walks on stage, carrying a can of Raid. He says to his friends)-
JAX- Hey, guys! How’s it going?
(The three roaches all say, “Hi, Jax.” Jem says)-
JEM- Uh, Jax? Why are you carrying around a can of Raid? Don’t you know that stuff will kill
you!
JAX- Oh, I know it will but I like to sniff it! It gives me a really good high! Wanna try some?
JEM- Oh, God no! Why do you do it?
JAX- Oh, man, it really opens your mind, you know? It brings me closer to the Universe! I just
take a sniff and the doors of reality open wide, man! It’s wild! Watch this!
(He puts the can of Raid up to his nose and sprays a little. He sniffs it hard and says)-
JAX- Oh, wow, man! I can see colors! Beautiful colors are swirling around me! I can see –
(He falls to the ground and starts shaking like a leaf. He stops and lies on his back without
breathing for a moment. All three roaches look at each other with concern. Jem says)-
JEM- Hey, Jax! Can you hear me? Are you all right?

18. 18
(Jax says, after a moment)-
JAX- Oh, wow, man! I can see the stars! I can feel the earth moving! I can hear my own heart
beating! I am one with the Universe! It’s sooooo cool, man! Are you sure you don’t want to try
it? You’ll see things as they really are!
(He hold up his hand and says, with awe)-
JAX- Oh, man! This is reality! I’m alive!
TROD- I can’t believe you’re not dead yet.
(A human policeman walks on stage. He also wears sunglasses. He says the roaches)-
POLICEMAN- (with a snarl)- Hey, you roaches! I thought I told you to move out of the park!
We don’t want you here! Get going!
JEM- Yes, we have a right to be here! This is a public park! We can stay here if we like!
POLICEMAN- Oh, a wise guy, huh? I know how to deal with punks like you!
(He takes out his baton and smacks it against his open palm. Prope says)-
PROPE- Uh, no, that’s okay, officer! We’re going! Have a nice day, sir! Come on, Jax – get up!
Time to go!
(All four roaches get up and walk off stage with their bags. The policeman watches them go
carefully. Lights fade out. End of scene)-
SCENE TWO- (lights come up; Jem, Prope, Trod and Jax stand against a wall, feeling sorry
for themselves. Jem says angrily)-
JEM- Boy, I really hate that police officer! He’s so mean!
TROD- Let it go, Jem! We live in their world, man! We’re not welcome!
JAX- Yeah, man! We’re outsiders! They all hate us! We’re too real for them!
JEM- But I want to show them that not all roaches are stupid! Some of us are sensitive poets,
yearning to be recognized for our genius! Oh, why I was born like this, Zorg? Why am I so
different? What is the meaning of my life? Can’t anyone tell me?
(An old cockroach walks on stage, carrying a long wooden staff. He says to the four roaches)-
ANTER- Well, well, well. What do we have here? Four lost roaches? Hmmm? So, why haven’t
I seen you boys in church lately? Don’t you believe in Zorg anymore? Hmmmm?
PROPE- Hello, Father Anter.

19. 19
ANTER- Hello, Mr Prope, Jax, Trod and of course Jem! Ah, Jem! I had such high hopes for
you! You’re so intelligent! Why do you hang out with these misfits? Look at Jax here! Are you
still sniffing Raid? That stuff will rot your brain – if you actually had one to begin with!
JAX- Nice to see you too, Father.
JEM- They’re my friends, father! They accept me for who I am!
ANTER- Oh, if only your poor parents could see you now! They would be ashamed of you!
Why don’t you come back to the church where you belong?
JEM- I don’t believe in those fairy tales anymore, father! I am seeing life as it really is!
ANTER- And what is that?
JEM- Life is hard and bitter and there is no messiah coming back to Earth to save us all from
mankind! Face it, Father! Zorg is dead and he’s not coming back – no matter what you may say!
ANTER- Well, I’m sorry you feel that way, my son. I still believe in the old prophecy that Zorg
will one day return to Earth and he will destroy all the humans and then we will live in peace and
harmony in the Golden City! I truly believe this will happen! Maybe not in my lifetime but it will
happen! Well, good luck, Jem. I hope you come to your senses and return to the Church of Zorg!
Good day to all of you!
(He walks off stage, muttering under his breath about the youth of today, etc. When he leaves the
stage, Jax says)-
JAX- Boy, is he crazy or what?
(The others nod in agreement. The lights fade out. End of scene)-
SCENE THREE- (the lights come up; Prope, Jem and Trod are all sitting on two park benches.
Jem says)-
JEM- I don’t know. Why is this world such a mess? Why am I here? Why do I have all of these
ideas in my head for? No one cares. No one knows anything. It’s all been a waste of time.
TROD- Don’t say that! You don’t know what Zorg has planned for you! Don’t listen to old
Father Anter! He’s just a fool!
PROPE- Yeah, he’s just nuts, that’s all! Everyone knows that! He really believes that Zorg is
coming back from the dead! Ha! That’s a good one! The humans killed him! They put him on
that glue trap and they buried him alive!
TROD- Really? That’s not the story I heard growing up. I was told he was boiled alive in oil and
then he was skinned!
JEM- No, you’re both wrong! He was crucified and then the humans set him on fire! It’s all in
the Book of Zorg!

20. 20
TROD- Really? I never heard that. But then again, I can’t read so….
PROPE- Neither can I. Say, Jem, which version is correct? Someone says one thing and
someone says another. It’s very confusing! Who is right?
JEM- I don’t know. The book was written a long time ago. Well, it really doesn’t matter. He’s
not coming back from the dead, I know that! The whole church was built on a lie!
PROPE- Then why do roaches believe in this stuff?
JEM- I don’t know. I guess roaches will believe in anything.
TROD- So, Jem – what do you believe in?
JEM- I believe in art, Trod. I believe in human culture. They are our sworn enemies but they
have produced such great art! They also believe in peace and love and the fellowship of Man!
TROD- Then why are they so violent and hateful? Why don’t they practice what they preach?
It’s very confusing!
JEM- I don’t know. A lot of human behavior confuses me. How can they produce someone like
Beethoven and yet be so stupid and thoughtless? It doesn’t make any sense. I need to think about
this some more. I’ll see you later.
(Jem gets up and walks off stage; Jax walks on stage and says)-
JAX- Where’s he going?
TROD- He’s going off to ponder the Universe. What are you doing?
JAX- Oh, just wandering around, sniffing my Raid. It’s a nice day for it, isn’t it?
TROD- Yeah, it’s a great day for getting high! Why don’t you do something with your life, Jax?
Stop being such a lowlife!
JAX- What do you mean by that?
TROD- Never mind. I rest my case, your honor.
(Prope tries to stop laughing. Jax shrugs and says, holding up can of Raid)-
JAX- Ah, this really does something for me, you know? It really opens my mind to the true
reality of the Universe! One sniff of this stuff and I’m flying, man! It’s really cooool, you know?
(He takes a long sniff and he says)-
JAX- You see, it’s nothing! I can see –
(Suddenly, he begins to shake and then falls on the ground. His body jerks around and then he
stops moving. After a long moment, Prope says)-
PROPE- Do you think he’s dead?

21. 21
TROD- We can only hope….
(After a long pause, Jax says)-
JAX- Oh, wow, man! I was dead! I was floating above my body and I saw you guys sitting
there! I was soooo happy! And then, this white tunnel appeared to me and I floated towards the
light and then I saw him! I saw Zorg! He was wearing a long white cloak over his body and there
was this bluish aura around him! He smiled at me and then he said, “Jax, why are you sniffing
that Raid for? Don’t you know it can kill you?” And then he said, “It’s not time for you yet! You
have to go back!” And before I could ask him anything, I woke up back in my body again! Can
you believe that?
TROD- That’s it? That’s all he said to you?
JAX- Yeah. Why? Were you expecting something more?
TROD- I don’t know.
PROPE- How did he look? Did he look like he was stuck to a glue trap?
JAX- What? No! He looked normal! Boy, I’m really hungry! I’m going to find a dumpster and
find something to eat. See you later.
(Jax gets up off the floor and puts his can of Raid into his jacket pocket. He walks of stage. Both
Prope and Trod look at each other. Trod says)-
TROD- Sounds good to me.
(Both Prope and Trod get up and walk off stage. Lights fade out quickly. End of Act One)-
INTERMISSION
ACT TWO
SCENE FOUR- (the lights come up; Jem is standing next to a door of a church. Homeless
people walk by, ignoring him. A human woman dressed in a nice, colorful outfit walks up to him
and says, with a smile)-
JANET- Hi! I haven’t seen you here before! Are you new to the area?
(Jem is confused. He looks around and sees the woman is talking to him. He says)-
JEM- Are you – are you talking to me? You’re not afraid of me?
JANET- No. Should I be?
JEM- I – I don’t know. Humans never talk to me. They just ignore me.

22. 22
JANET- (holding out her hand)- What a shame. My name is Janet Parker. I’m the social worker
for this church. What is your name?
(Jem slowly shakes her hand. He seems lost. He says finally)-
JEM- I – I’m Jem. Some of us don’t use human names.
JANET- I can certainly understand that. We humans can be pretty cruel at times. Do you want to
come inside and eat something?
JEM- No, I better not. People get upset when they see me eating in a restaurant.
JANET- All right. I’ll bring you a plate of food. How’s that? Would you like some coffee?
JEM- Oh, I love coffee! I don’t get it very often! I like it sweet and with some cream in it,
please!
JANET- (laughing)- All right! I’ll be right back! Don’t go anywhere!
(Janet walks off stage. A homeless man walks up to Jem and says, with a snarl)-
HOMELESS MAN- Dirty cockroach! Go away! We don’t want you hanging around here!
(Jem is silent. He looks down and the homeless man walks away, muttering under his breath.
Janet returns with a plate of food and a mug of coffee. Janet says, upset)-
JANET- What did that man just say to you? That was very rude!
JEM- It’s nothing. It happens all the time. I’m used to it. Thanks for the food and coffee.
JANET- (motions to a park bench)- Please sit down and tell me your story.
JEM- Do you really want to know? Why?
JANET- You sound really intelligent. How did you get this way?
JEM- I don’t know. I don’t know where we come from. No one seems to know anything about
us. It’s a big mystery to me.
JANET- Well, it really doesn’t matter to me. You’re here and that’s that. Can you read?
JEM- Oh, yes! I love to read! I read everything I can get my hands on! I can also write! I’ve
been writing poems ever since I can remember! I can also paint and I love music! But there’s no
one for me to talk to about these things. The other cockroaches can’t read or write and they all
think I’m crazy. I’m very lonely. They always ask me why do I want to study human culture for?
I love art. I really do.
JANET- I would love to hear your poetry, Jem. You must be very good. Do you have any poems
with you?
JEM- No. I keep my watercolors and poetry in a hole in a wall near the park. I can’t afford a real
storage space. And besides, no human will rent me storage space.

23. 23
JANET- Well, maybe I can talk to Father Johnson about your situation. Can you cook?
JEM- Oh, yes! I’m very good! I love to make soups and I like to bake bread! But I have a hard
time finding anywhere to cook. I can do so much but the humans just really hate me. No one will
give me a chance to prove myself! It’s so frustrating!
JANET- I can imagine! Well, you’re just bursting with ideas, aren’t you? Okay. I’ll take a
chance with you, Jem. We need some help around the kitchen. Would you like that?
(Suddenly, Jem bursts into tears. Janet says)-
JANET- What’s wrong?
JEM- Why are you doing this?
JANET- You are one of God’s children and you deserve a chance to prove yourself! Look, come
back here tomorrow around lunch time and you’ll meet Father Johnson. You’ll like him. Now,
eat before it gets too cold. Do you have a place to live?
JEM- Well, I live with my friends in the park. We get by. But sometimes, gangs of kids will
come by and attack us in the middle of the night. Two of my friends have been killed. They were
beaten to death.
JANET- Do you ever go to the police?
JEM- They also attack us. We have no one to help us. No one cares about us. We’re just
cockroaches, that’s all.
JANET- That’s terrible! All right, come by tomorrow. Now if something happens tonight, you
come by the church and I’ll let you in. You can sleep downstairs in the basement. See you
tomorrow, Jem!
(Janet gets up and walks off stage. Jem starts eating the food. Lights fade out. End of scene)-
SCENE FIVE- (the lights come up; Jem is sitting between Prope and Trod. Jem says excitedly)-
JEM- I met this woman yesterday at that church down the street. She was very friendly and she
wasn’t afraid of me! She even wants to hear my poetry! Can you believe it?
PROPE- Wow! That is unusual! And she didn’t scream or throw anything at you? Weird.
TROD- Maybe it’s some kind of trick. You ever think of that?
JEM- Oh, I hope not! Maybe I finally have a chance to be accepted by the humans! They even
asked me to help out in the kitchen! Of course, I’ll have to stay out of sight. Some people would
be upset seeing me in the kitchen, preparing food.
TROD- I can’t imagine why.
PROPE- You said you’re going to move into the basement?

24. 24
JEM- Maybe. I don’t know. I’m going to see Father Johnson tomorrow.
PROPE- Who’s that?
JEM- He runs the church.
PROPE- What kind of god do they worship?
JEM- I don’t know but the church is really big.
PROPE- Maybe their god is really big.
JEM- I don’t know. That’s a good question. They also have these really beautiful glass paintings
of people dressed in rags. I don’t know who they are but I wonder why they’re dressed in rags.
And there’s a man hanging from a cross. I don’t know what that means.
TROD- I don’t like it, Jem. I think it’s some kind of trap! I don’t trust humans. Just be careful,
Jem! We don’t want to lose you! You’re too important!
JEM- (laughs)- Thanks, guys! I’ll be fine! Boy, wouldn’t it be something if I joined the church?
Then they would have to accept me for who I am! I could mop the floors and keep the place
clean! They would even admire me! Wouldn’t that be something?
TROD- Huh. It’s a nice dream, Jem, but you’re dealing with humans! You know how they are!
You can’t trust them! They’re full of hate and violence! Just be careful, okay?
JEM- Thanks, Trod! I’ll be very careful! I’m hungry. Let’s go and find something to eat.
TROD- Now that’s a good idea, my friend!
(They get up and walk off stage. End of scene)-
SCENE SIX- (the lights come up; Jem is standing in the middle of the church. He looks around,
clearly awed by what he sees. Father Johnson walks on stage. He is an old man with white hair
and a warm smile. He says to Jem, offering his hand)-
JOHNSON- Well, hello! You must be Jem! I’m Father Johnson!
JEM- It’s nice to meet you, sir! Janet has told me about you!
JOHNSON- Well, that’s good! So, Janet tells me you can read and write. That’s very unusual
for a cockroach, isn’t it?
JEM- Yes! Most of my friends can’t read or write. They have no idea what I’m talking about
most of the time. It can be very lonely sometimes.
JOHNSON- I can imagine. So – I saw you admiring the church. It’s very old.
JEM- Yes, I can see that. It dates back to the early 19th Century, I believe. I looked it up in one
of my books. It’s almost Gothic, isn’t it?

25. 25
JOHNSON- That’s very impressive, Jem! You know something about art history?
JEM- Oh, yes, sir! It’s one of my favorite topics! But I have no one to talk to about this. I love
the paintings of this period. It was called the Romantic Period, wasn’t it?
JOHNSON- Very good, Jem! We must have a discussion of art one of these days but I don’t
have time today. I have lots of meetings to go to. We may be selling the church because it would
cost too much to repair. Do you understand?
JEM- Oh, yes, sir! I know that your roof is leaking. There is a lot of water damage. But I have a
question for you, sir. Who is that man on the cross and what does it mean?
JOHNSON- That’s a very good question, Jem. His name was Jesus and he died for mankind’s
sins.
JEM- Sins? What are sins?
JOHNSON- Ah, well, that’s a complicated subject, my friend. It’s – uh – the basis for our
religion.
JEM- Oh, yes, I understand! We have someone named Zorg! He also died for us cockroaches!
We believe Zorg will come back from the dead and lead us to a world without humans!
JOHNSON- Oh, I see…..well, Jem, I really have to go. But before I go, Janet tells me you want
to help out in the kitchen. She said you can cook! We could an extra pair of hands around here.
You could live downstairs in the basement and you can access to the kitchen. We can’t pay you
much. Is that all right?
JEM- Oh, yes! It’s wonderful! When can I start?
JOHNSON- Well, you can start tomorrow, if you like.
JEM- Oh, thank you, sir! You’ve made me very happy!
JOHNSON- Excellent! Are you hungry?
JEM- Oh, yes sir!
JOHNSON- Well, Jem, if you’ll come with me, I think we can find something for you to eat.
JEM- Thank you, sir! You’ve all been so kind to me!
(Father Johnson smiles and they walk of stage together. Lights come down. End of scene)-
SCENE SEVEN- (the lights come up; Jem is sitting between Prope and Trod on the benches.
Trod says to Jem)-
TROD- So, you’ve moved into the church! That’s wonderful!

26. 26
JEM- Yes! I can hardly believe it myself! After all these years, I’m finally being recognized by
the humans! I’m working hard and I’m mopping the floors and I’m helping to make the food!
It’s great!
TROD- I still think it’s a trap.
JEM- (laughing)- Ha, ha! Everything is fine, Trod! Where’s Jax? I haven’t seen him in days!
PROPE- He said he was moving into a roach motel near Times Square. It’s new to me.
JEM- Huh. Well, good for him. I wonder if they have free cable in this motel.
(Father Anter walks slowly on stage, carrying his long wooden staff. He says to Jem)-
ANTER- So, I hear you’ve moved into a human church. What’s wrong with my church? It’s not
good enough for you?
JEM- No, no, father, it has nothing to do with you or your church!
ANTER- Then why have you abandoned your faith, Jem? Don’t you believe in Zorg anymore?
JEM- Listen, father, I don’t care about religion! It’s all bunk!
ANTER- Huh! Bunk you say? Mark my words, Jem! The humans are not to be trusted! They
will destroy you!
JEM- I don’t believe that! Not all humans are bad!
ANTER- You’re very naïve, my friend! Listen to me – I’m older than you and I know what I’m
talking about! Watch your back!
(Anter walks slowly off stage. Jem says)-
JEM- I have finally found my place in this world! The humans in the church like me for who I
am! They don’t care if I’m a roach or not!
TROD- I hope you’re right.
JEM- I know I am! Well, I’m going back to the church. Do you want to come with me?
PROPE- No, that’s okay, Jem.
JEM- Look, will you two please come by and say hi? I want you to meet Janet. She’s a social
worker and a teacher.
PROPE- What’s a social worker?
JEM- Never mind. Good night.
(Jem gets up and walks off stage. Prope asks Trod)-
PROPE- What’s a social worker?
TROD- I have no idea. Must be someone important.

27. 27
(Prope nods his head and the lights fade out quickly. End of scene)-
SC ENE EIGHT- (the lights come up; Jem is mopping the floor. Janet comes on stage and says,
holding some papers in her hand)-
JANET- Jem! I’ve been reading your work! It’s great! I had no idea you were so good! You
write about a world I never knew existed!
JEM- (leaning on his mop)- You really like my stories?
JANET- Oh, yes! And I also love your watercolors! I never knew you were so talented!
JEM- You never knew a cockroach could do something like this, did you?
JANET- Well, no. We humans have always assumed that we were the only ones who do
something like this! Your work is – is a revelation! Look, I have a friend who owns a gallery in
Soho. It’s actually not too far from here. I want to talk to him about you – if that’s okay with
you.
JEM- Yes, of course it’s all right with me! That’s what I want! I want to be recognized! Maybe
I’ll even become rich and famous! That was always my dream, you know. I always wanted my
work to be seen at the Metropolitan Museum of Art one day! That would be wonderful! What do
you think?
JANET- Well, anything is possible, Jem! Now, we have a space on that wall over there and
maybe you could paint something on it. What do you think?
JEM- You mean like a mural?
JANET- Yes, exactly! Do you want to do it? We’ll supply you with the paint, brushes and
materials.
JEM- Oh, it would be wonderful!
JANET- What will you paint?
JEM- Oh, I don’t know. Maybe a painting of Zorg on a cross.
JANET- Who was he?
JEM- He was a holy prophet – like Jesus! He lived here in the city and he was killed by humans
over twenty years ago. He was a very wise cockroach. We have a church built in his honor!
JANET- Sounds interesting. Can you make a drawing of it so I can show Father Johnson? I need
to get his approval.
JEM- Certainly! I’ll do it tonight!
JANET- All right! I’ll see you alter then.

28. 28
(She walks off stage. Jem resumes mopping. Both Prope and Trod walk on stage. They see him
mopping and start to laugh. Jem says)-
JEM- What’s so funny?
PROPE- You’re mopping the floor! Why?
JEM- The humans like clean things.
PROPE- Oh.
TROD- Well, we found out what happened to Jax.
JEM- That’s great! Is he okay?
TROD- No, he’s dead. The roach motel is a big glue trap. Once you go in, you can’t get out. We
found Jax stuck to the ceiling.
JEM- Oh, I’m sorry to hear that!
PROPE- Your humans did this to him! They want to kill us all!
JEM- I see.
PROPE- That’s all you can say? Wake up, Jem! They’re the enemy! Maybe we should do
something to them!
JEM- Like what, Mr Prope? They outnumber us and they have all those weapons! We can’t
fight them – it would be suicide!
TROD- I agree but it’s a terrible situation. What should we do, Jem?
JEM- I don’t know what the answer is. All I do know is that these humans here have been very
kind to me. They want to help me! Not all the humans are bad!
PROPE- That’s easy for you to say. They love you! You’re a genius!
TROD- That’s not fair, Prope!
PROPE- I know. I’m sorry.
JEM- That’s okay, my friend. (Points to the back wall)- You see that blank space over there?
They’re going to let me paint something on that wall!
TROD- What are you going to paint?
JEM- I’m going to paint a picture of Zorg on a cross, surrounded by the humans who killed him.
PROPE- Wow! That’ll be interesting!
JEM- Well, listen, my friends – I have to go to the kitchen and start making the soup for lunch
tomorrow. I’ll see you tonight in the park, okay?
TROD- Sure, kid. See you later.

29. 29
(Jem walks of stage, carrying the mop. Both Prope and Trod look around the empty church.
Prope says, with awe)-
PROPE- Big church.
(Trod nods and both of them walk off stage. The lights come down. End of scene)-
SCENE NINE- (the lights come up; Jem is sitting between Prope and Trod. Jem says)-
JEM- Well, I showed Janet a drawing of what I’m going to paint. I think she liked it.
TROD- Well, kid, we’re both proud of you. You’ve done a lot to show the humans that we’re
not just cockroaches!
PROPE- (stage whisper)- Hey! That cop is coming over here!
(The police officer wearing aviator sunglasses walks on stage. He doesn’t look too happy. He
stops and looks at the three cockroaches. He says angrily)-
POLICE OFFICER- Now, what did I tell you before about being in this park? It’s off limits to
cockroaches! Now – move!
JEM- No. We’re not moving. Show us in your rule book where it says we can’t be in this park.
We’re not disturbing anyone. Are we? Has anybody filed a complaint against us?
(The police officer is caught off guard. He grinds his teeth and says finally)-
POLICE OFFICER- So, you’re the smart one. I’ve heard about you. You’re a real freak of
nature, you know that?
JEM- You can’t threaten me. I’m working at the church around the corner. I told them about
you. Father Johnson is going to file a complaint against you if you bother us anymore. We’re not
moving!
POLICE OFFICER- Huh. You think you’re smarter than me, eh? We’ll see about that!
(He turns around and walks off stage, muttering under his breath. Prope says)-
PROPE- I don’t think you should have said that to him, Jem.
JEM- I don’t care! I’m tired of being pushed around by people like him! You can’t talk to
anyone like that and get away with it! He should be fired!
TROD- Well, I think I’ll be moving along. Coming Mr Prope?
PROPE- Uh, yeah. Let me just grab my things. See you, Jem.
(Both roaches get up and quickly walk off stage. Jem watches them go and then he gets up and
walks off stage in the opposite direction. Lights fade out. End of Act Two)-

30. 30
ACT THREE
SCENE TEN- (the lights come up; Jem is sitting in between Prope and Trod on the park
benches. Jem says)-
JEM- Okay, last night, I went with Janet and her husband George to this art gallery in Soho. It’s
just a few blocks south of the church. Well, we walk down there and boy, you should have seen
the looks we got from those humans we passed by! Most of them just stopped in their tracks with
their mouths hanging open! Janet loved it! (He laughs at the memory)- So, we walked into the
gallery and it was full of people all dressed up in their fancy black clothes. They were all
drinking and talking and the moment we walked in, everyone stopped talking. It was silent as a
church! I mean, people just didn’t know what to do! They were just staring at us! Then one old
woman screamed and she ran out of the gallery like she was on fire! Oh, it was just great!
(Laughs)- Well, Janet said to the people, “Attention, everyone! This is my friend Jem and he’s a
very talented cockroach! He has real talent!” So, I cleared my throat and said, “Yes, I am Jem
and I am here to recite one of my poems! I hope you like it!” Well, I recited my poem about the
church and people were just stunned and amazed! And when I was finished, they all applauded
like mad and some of them even cheered me! Oh, it was wonderful! Then a man walked over to
me and said I was brilliant and what else could I do? And I said to him I could cook and paint
and do lots of other things! Then he handed me his business card and told me to call him next
week! Isn’t that great? I’m so excited!
TROD- Well, that’s great, Jem! Congratulations! It looks like you finally made it!
PROPE- Wow! You really showed those humans! You beat them at their own game! Right?
JEM- Damn right I did! I showed them all right! And Janet told me last night that I can paint my
mural!
TROD- Huh. Maybe you’re the one they prophesized about. Maybe you’re the leader we’ve
been waiting for.
JEM- Wait. What are you talking about?
TROD- The ancient ones foretold a cockroach would be born and he would be the leader of our
race!
JEM- No, no! You’re wrong! I don’t want to be a leader!
PROPE- But you must be the one! No one else can do what you can do! You know so much and
you’re just as smart as the humans! We need a leader!
JEM- No! I don’t want it! I just want to be left alone so I can do my art work! Leave me alone!
(He jumps up and runs off stage, crying. Prope says to Trod)-
PROPE- What’s wrong with him?
TROD- It’s a lot to ask of anyone. He has to find his own path in this lifetime.

31. 31
(A female cockroach walks on stage. She says to Prope and Trod)-
QUIN- Uh, hi. I’m looking for Jem. Have you seen him? I was told he hangs out with you two.
TROD- You just missed him. And who are you?
QUIN- I’m his younger sister. I’ve been looking everywhere for him. His family misses him.
TROD- He lives in that church down the street.
QUIN- Thank you.
(She walks off stage. Prope says)-
PROPE- Nice looking kid.
(The lights fade out. End of scene)-
SCENE ELEVEN- (the lights come up; Jem is standing in front of a painting of a cockroach
nailed to a cross with humans standing around and grinning and laughing. The painting is only
halfway done. Jem is holding a paint brush and a palette. As he works on the painting, Quin
walks on stage and stands watching Jem work. He doesn’t notice her right away. Quin says,
coughing)-
QUIN- Ahem! Hello, Jem!
(Jem turns around and says)-
JEM- Quin? What are you doing here?
QUIN- Jem, father asked me to talk to you. He wants you to come home. Both mom and dad are
worried about you.
JEM- I can’t go back. I have a new life here.
QUIN- But they want you to come home! I want you to come home! We all love and miss you!
JEM- Thank you for that, Quin but I’m not going back. There’s nothing for me to go back to. I
finally found what I was looking for here. Don’t you understand?
QUIN- No, I don’t understand! What are you trying to do?
JEM- For the first time in my life, I have a real purpose! I’m talking to people who understand
me! They appreciate me for who I am!
QUIN- You like humans more than your own kind!
JEM- Yes, I suppose I do. I love their culture, Quin. There are no roaches I can talk to about
these things. No one understands anything I say. I’m alone, Quin. But here, I can be me! But I
don’t expect you to understand. You’re too young.

32. 32
QUIN- No, Jem, I understand what it’s like to be alone and have no one to talk to. But why can’t
you come home and teach us what you know?
JEM- It would just be a waste of time, Quin. No one cares about human culture.
QUIN- They’re trying to kill us! Why do you care about them?
JEM- I don’t know. I wish I knew. But I have this drive to paint and be creative. I don’t
understand it myself. It’s a mystery to me.
QUIN- (sighs)- All right, Jem. What do I tell father?
JEM- You can tell him anything you like but I’m not coming home. And that’s final!
QUIN- Will I ever see you again?
JEM- Of course! Come by anytime! I live in this church now. The humans are helping me!
QUIN- What are you doing?
JEM- I’m painting a picture of Zorg on the cross.
QUIN- Okay, Jem. Good bye.
JEM- Good bye, Quin. Come by anytime.
(Quin turns and walks off stage. Jem resumes working on the painting. Lights fade out. End of
scene)-
SCENE TWELVE- (lights come up; Jem is sitting between Prope and Trod. Jem says)-
JEM- I saw Quin today.
TROD- What did she want?
JEM- She wants me to come home but I can’t. I left because they didn’t understand me. I came
here to the city to prove myself! To show people that I am important and I have something to
say! But has it been worth it? I don’t know.
TROD- You’ve proven yourself Jem. You are very unique, to say the least. I wish I had your
talent.
JEM- No you don’t. It’s done nothing for me but make me into some kind of an outcast. I know
I’ll never get rich.
TROD- Then why do it?
JEM- I can’t explain it. It’s like I’m compelled to be creative. It’s like there’s a fire in me! And I
have lots of ideas! They just come to me! I don’t know. It’s like a machine inside me that can’t
be turned off. (He shrugs)-

33. 33
(Janet walks on stage, carrying a tray of sandwiches and coffee. She says)-
JANET- Here you are! I brought you and your friends some sandwiches and coffee.
PROPE- Thank you, Mrs Winters.
JANET- Oh, please call me Janet! (To Jem)- I saw your mural today, Jem! It’s really
impressive! You’re some kind of a genius! And Father Johnson is really pleased with it as well!
And what’s the roach’s name again?
JEM- His name was Zorg. He was a very important roach. He helped to create our culture and
language. He was like our George Washington. And then he was killed by the humans here in the
city.
JANET- Wow, it’s really interesting! You should write a book about your culture and history!
Are you coming by for your lessons tonight?
JEM- Yes, I’ll be there!
JANET- Well, I have to go now. See you later!
(She walks off stage. Both Prope and Trod look at Jem and smile. Prope says)-
PROPE- I think she likes you, Jem!
JEM- (laughs)- Aw, come on! She’s married!
TROD- Yeah, it wouldn’t work.
(All three laugh and start to eat. The lights go out. End of scene)-
SCENE THIRTEEN- (lights come up; Jem is standing in a classroom. Janet comes walking on
stage, carrying books. She says to Jem)-
JANET- Good evening, Jem! Are you ready for today’s lesson?
JEM- Oh, yes! I’ve been reading about Russian literature. Very intense.
JANET- Yes, it is very intense. (She sits behind a desk and puts her books down. She says)- You
learn very quickly, Jem. You’re like a sponge. Pretty soon, I won’t be able to teach you
anymore! You’ll know more than I do! (She laughs)-
JEM- Is that good?
JANET- Jem, sit down. I want to talk to you about something.
(Jem sits down on a chair. Janet says)-
JANET- You’re like a brilliant child, Jem. You’re making remarkable progress. You have a
photographic memory. I’ve never seen anything like it before. You remember everything I show
you.

34. 34
JEM- Yes, but I don’t quite understand what some words mean.
JANET- Like what, for instance?
JEM- Well, I’ve seen a word called a skyscraper. But I don’t quite understand what it means.
What is a skyscraper? What does it mean?
JANET- Well, you live here in the city and you’ve seen all of those really tall buildings
everywhere, haven’t you?
JEM- Yes. Are those skyscrapers?
JANET- Yes!
JEM- But what are they for?
JANET- Well, some people live in those buildings and some people work in them as well.
JEM- Hmmm…..they’re like termite colonies. Right?
(Janet is stunned; she laughs and says)-
JANET- Ha! Well, yes, you could say that! I never thought of a skyscraper like that before but
you’re right. We humans live in colonies – just like bees and termites. What about roaches?
JEM- Yes, we also live in colonies. We have a group mind, you could say. Each roach is
separate but yet we’re all part of the same colony. We all think alike yet somehow, we don’t.
Does that sense to you?
JANET- Oh, yes! We humans are the same way. Dr Carl Jung talked about that. He believed in
something called the great unconscious. It’s like everyone is connected together on a psychic
level. I like to think of it as a great ocean that we’re all a part of.
JEM- Yes! I like that! That’s very poetic! The ocean is the universe, right?
JANET- Yes, exactly! Very good, Jem! You understand a great deal! Have you ever thought of
going to college?
JEM- Me? College? I – I never thought it would be possible. What would I have to do?
JANET- (laughs)- Leave that to me, Jem! I’ll arrange everything for you! You could really do
something important! You deserve this chance!
JEM- Oh, thank you, Ms Winters! You’ve been so kind to me! I don’t know how to thank you!
JANET- Oh, don’t thank me! I’m only trying to help you! Well, I have to cut this short, I’m
afraid. I just remembered something. We’ll meet again tomorrow night. All right?
JEM- That’s fine.
JANET- You’re very special, Jem. Do you have a girlfriend?

35. 35
JEM- No. I don’t know anyone. They don’t want to talk to me. They call me crazy or worse. I
just don’t fit in anywhere.
JANET- Don’t worry, Jem. Someone important is waiting for you. I’m sure of it. Good night.
(She gets up and walks off stage. Jem sits at the desk as the lights fade out quickly. End of
scene)-
SCENE FOURTEEN- (lights come up; Jem is sitting with Trod. It is late at night. The stage is
dark. Jem says to Trod)-
JEM- She wants to send me to college, Mr Trod! Can you believe it?
TROD- Yes, that’s great, Jem! That’s wonderful news!
JEM- College! Me! I’ll be the first cockroach to get into college! I’ll study philosophy and art
history! I was never good at math. I don’t why that is. I never understood numbers.
TROD- I don’t understand math myself, so you’re not alone.
JEM- Ah, my life is finally turning around! I have a real future! I’ll be important! They’ll build
statues of me in Central Park! Imagine that!
TROD- Don’t get ahead of yourself, my friend. A lot can happen before then.
JEM- Yes, I suppose that’s true. (Looks up at the night sky)- Oh, look! I can see the Moon! You
know, some people used to think that the Moon was made of cheese! Ha! I wonder what flavor?
(They both laugh. Suddenly, there is a noise off stage. Both Jem and Trod look off stage. Jem
says, with concern)-
JEM- Oh, look! There’s that cop from the other day. And he has some friends of his. They look
pretty angry about something. I wonder what’s up?
TROD- Huh. They’re carrying clubs and bats and they’re coming this way. They look like they
want to fight or something.
(Suddenly, the lights go out and there is the sounds of a fight. Someone screams. End of scene)-
SCENE FIFTEEN- (lights come up; Prope walks on stage. He is crying. Janet walks on stage.
She says to Prope)-
JANET- Prope? What’s wrong?
PROPE- (sobbing)- Oh, Ms Winters! It was terrible! They’ve killed Jem and Trod!
JANET- (in shock)- What? What happened?

36. 36
PROPE- I saw the whole thing! I was in the park, heading for the benches when I saw this mean
cop and his friends attack Jem and Trod with clubs and bats! They were screaming and yelling
and attacking them like wild animals! It was horrible!
JANET- You mean that Jem is dead?
PROPE- Yes! Both of them! They were my friends! Why did they have to kill Jem and Trod?
Why? I don’t understand it!
JANET- Oh, no! Not Jem! Oh, I’m so sorry! Why don’t you stay here in the church tonight?
You can stay downstairs where Jem lived! You can’t go back outside. They’ll be looking for
you. Oh, this is horrible! Come! I want you to tell Father Johnson what happened.
(They walk offstage together; both are crying. The lights fade out quickly. End of scene)-
SCENE SIXTEEN- (the lights come up; Prope stands in front of Jem’s completed painting.
Seated in front of him are several young cockroaches. Prope says to them)-
PROPE- I want you young roaches to see this painting. It was painted by my friend, Jem. He
was a very special roach. He could read and write and he was a genius. This is a painting of the
great Zorg, the father of us all. He was like Jem – he was also very special. They were both
killed by humans because they were different. The humans saw them as a threat but they weren’t
a threat to anyone! They just wanted to live their lives like anyone else. But not all humans are
monsters. We are living here in this church under the protection of Father Johnson and Ms Janet.
They have been very kind to us. They created a school for roaches and one day, another Jem will
emerge from our race. We can only hope. Now, before we go to dinner, I want you to bow your
heads in memory of both Jem and Zorg. Maybe they’ll return and led us to a land of milk and
honey, where bad humans can’t attack us! And so, let us pray. Oh, Father who art in Heaven,
please show us the way to a better life! Help us to find peace and love in a world filled with
hatred and turmoil! Amen!
(All of the young cockroaches murmur, “Amen.” Prope says)-
PROPE- And now, on your way to dinner, please take your time to thank both Father Johnson
and Ms Janet for their love and kindness! Okay! Let’s go! I’m hungry!
(The young cockroaches get up and follow Prope off stage. Lights fade out quickly. End of play)-
FINIS

37. 37