9 Of The Weirdest Things About Being A Movie Character - Who Comes To Life....

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“Princess Leia -WHO?” .....---- SINCEYOUASKED:
---- 9 WEIRD THINGS about beinga movie character – who suddenlycomesto life!
Well,I’ve spentmylife inastate of dissociative amnesia, until mymemoryfinallysurfacedoverthe last
fewyears,forreal.Until now,I had noideawhoI am, what I wasdoing,or why,mostof the time. And
yet,I wasalwaysconsidered“highfunctioning”.Right. Hey,thiswould makea good movie,wouldn’tit?
*1) Try gettingadriver'slicense withthe real name, PrincessLeiaLucas.First,there’sstunned
silence.Then,theylaugh. Iwaitfor the questions,thenIanswer…“No, I don’tlooklike Carrie Fisher”,
(exceptformylackof height,whichImake upfor in ferocity), “No,mylastname isn’tOrgana,” (forthe
organza fabricdress I lovedasa child.Georgie made thisattachedtome permanently.Gottalove him).
“Why Yes,Lucas is my real maidenname (mother’sside),ANDmyinternational marriedname,inthe
countrieswhere I’mof royalty.What?Yes,I know the DMV doesn’tissue StarShiplicenses. Ijustdrive a
regularcar, right here onplanetearth.Okay,sure,sometimesonAlderaan. What?AsI said,I don’t
needtoman The Warship -withHanSolo,(butI’d be happy to pilotyou into outer-space,any timeyou
like). Seriously,have youdealtwiththe DMV?(Kidding!The local DMV office wasactuallyreallynice.)
** 2) Everyone laughswhenIintroduce myself bymyname.“PrincessLeia, huh?Good one!”Then
theylookaroundaskingforDarth, Luke,Chewie andthe gang.Theylaughat theircleverness.Iwait.
Eventually,theyaskagain, “So,what’syour real name?” Right.Giant smile.Ianswer.
We dothe whole thingagain.I’mnowcountingtosee whowill dothisthe mosttimes,withthe worst
jokes. Finallytheystoplaughing,andthere’sthisuncomfortable silence.Iwait.Istare.They
ask…… .”You are kidding,right?....What?Nowait,Ididn’thearyoucorrectly”.
(Really?Whatplanet are you on?!).
***3) WhenI introduce myself to StarWarsfan clubsor groups, theytendto respondwith, “Yeah,
we’re all PrincessLeia here,noproblem”. “No,I meanI REALLY AM PrincessLeiaLucas”.
Stunned silence. “Oh. Well. Um, we already have plenty of Princess Leia's in our group at this time. Um,
mostof the girlswearthe original costume,youknow,butthey’rereal….young.”Right.
****4) AfterI say myname,olderguystendto give me a large smirk,thentheyaskthismature lady,
"Hey,didyouactuallywearthat metal bikini thing?Thatwasawesome".
NO,I NEVER WORE A METAL BIKINI! I SWEAR! .....Ok,itwasa yellow bikini,withbrassringsonit.Can
I helpitif Georgie exaggerates!?(IamSOOOOgettingevenwithhimforthat!)
*****5) People tendtoaskme if I actuallyusedthe famousKaiser-Roll hairdo.I tell the truth. “Yes,Idid
whenI wasyounger”.Thisisfollowedwiththe question,“Um, didyoudothisfor a reason?”Apparently

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my strange fashionsense needsexplanation.Where uponIexplain,“I wasworkingundercoverforthe
Directorof the FBI, (forreal),soI usedthe hairdoto cover the spiral wire hangingaroundmyleftear.”
Afterthis,youngpeople,(suchasmydaughter) lookat me highlyconfused,thanask,“Whydidn’tyou
justuse your cell phone,orBluetooth?”
******6) Businessexecutivestypicallyaskme how muchmoneyI’ve made fromall the Star Wars
movies-andlicensingfeesandall,aftersomanyyears,as theireyesgrow large.Gosh.Letme think.
Hmmmmm…..Thatwouldbe…..um…NOTHING(!),nada,nichts,niente,netchego,not a red cent! You
getthe idea.It’sa small worldafterall.
*******7) The Georgie Iknew alwayswantedtobe Robin Hood,runningoff with Maid Marian, tosteal
fromthe rich,and give tothe poor. Well,let’ssee . Robin.He didflyaround,a lot,but I don’tremember
seeinganyredbreasts.Hood.Hoodlum?Honestly,he doesn’twearenoughheadcoveringtomake a
decentJew.AndMarian?Well,Georgie doesrunaroundwithwife Mellody,sohe gotthe letters“M”
and “d” rightanyway,(hey,that’ssomething!).And,Georgie didmake alotof money,butbasicallyfor
alreadyrichguys,(like him). However,IDOworklike a maid.Only,asper usual,Idon’tget paiddidley
squat.So much for“givingto the poor”.
********8) People DOaskme all the time if Georgie respondstothe manylettersI’ve senthimin
recentyears.Let’ssee.Ididget an arrestthreat sentoverbyhis securitydepartment.Beyondthis?Well,
…….he, kindof….No.Nope,nada,nichts,niente,netchego. BUT, apparentlyGeorgie still knowsme ona
flat screen - that's struggling to be "The Force Awakens". Hmmmm. He'll have to manage this one alone.
I'm not touchingit.
*******9) Many fansask me how I feel aboutbeing"anagingSex Toy".Well….actually,aside from
havingservedasa federal agent,I’m anaging neuroscientistrunningfoundationsthatemploythe
complex BrainTransmissionTherapiesthatcuredme.We do thisto helpotherveteransandtrauma
survivors,(see www.localcommunities.org/IFNBT).“Heyguys - that'sa differentkindof arousal”.And,
it’salsohard -to explainthistocertainmalescreatures,if youknow whatImean.
Want to republish?Sure - justask!My Force is alreadyawakened.(See
www.localcommunities.org/PrincessLeiaLucas; www.localcommunities.org/FOSTERFoundation ;
www.localcommunities.org/LifeForceRecovery )