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Emotions and Defensiveness
            in the Workplace

                                         ODN of Western New York

                                                   Ethan Schutz


© 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved.

Monday, March 4, 13
Name
                                  What you do
         Why you are here
© 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved.

Monday, March 4, 13
Emotional states
        “Logic” of emotions
        Unwanted behavior
        Staying positive
        Implications
© 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved.

Monday, March 4, 13
© 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved.

Monday, March 4, 13
Will Schutz, Ph.D.
             1925-2002




© 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved.

Monday, March 4, 13
© 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved.

Monday, March 4, 13
Technical competence


                                             Compatibility
                        People working well together


© 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved.

Monday, March 4, 13
FIRO®
                                                   Fundamental
                                                   Interpersonal
                                                   Relations
                                                   Orientation


© 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved.

Monday, March 4, 13
C           P
                   Compatibility is directly
                   related to Productivity

© 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved.

Monday, March 4, 13
C                 P
                     Productive teams created randomly:
                                                   50%
                 Productive teams created using FIRO:
                                                   75%
© 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved.

Monday, March 4, 13
Harvard


                               University of Chicago




                                                       University of California
                                                              Berkeley

             Albert Einstein School of Medicine




© 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved.

Monday, March 4, 13
Inclusion               Control        Openness



                                  Low              High   Low         High   Low     High




                       FIRO-B predicted behavior 75% accurately

                                          What explained the other 25%?



© 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved.

Monday, March 4, 13
Psychodrama


                                                                                   Bioenergetics
                                                   Psychosynthesis

                Rolfing



© 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved.

Monday, March 4, 13
Rigidity

                   Enemy of
                 teamwork and
               good relationships
© 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved.

Monday, March 4, 13
Rigidity

           ...stems from fears


© 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved.

Monday, March 4, 13
Sad                                        Happy
         Angry                                      Content
      Disappointed                                 Satisfied
          Weak                                      Strong
        Nervous                                    Confident
        Confused                                    Capable
         Scared                                     Joyous
© 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved.

Monday, March 4, 13
Make decisions
                                                   Solve problems
      Fear                                         Handle conflict
      affects our
                                                   Listen to others
      capacity
      to                                           Speak to others
                                                   View others
                                                   Use time and energy

© 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved.

Monday, March 4, 13
Individual
                                                         People

                                                         System

                                                             Task



                                                      Service Product

                                                   Process          Network
                                   Relationships                     Compatibility
                                    Individual                          Individual



© 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved.

Monday, March 4, 13
Task
                                                              System
                                                              People




                                                             Individual



                                           Relationships               Compatibility
                                                   Process                Network
                                            Service                         Product



© 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved.

Monday, March 4, 13
Behavior                       Inclusion   Control   Openness




© 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved.

Monday, March 4, 13
Inclusion

                       0               1           2   3   4   5   6   7   8    9

                Low                                                            High



                         The amount of contact with other people




© 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved.

Monday, March 4, 13
Control

                       0               1           2   3    4   5    6   7   8    9

                Low                                                              High



                  The structure of the interaction with other
                 people, including directing and decision-making



© 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved.

Monday, March 4, 13
Openness

                       0               1           2   3   4   5   6   7   8    9

                Low                                                            High



            The depth of the interaction with other people—
                expressing feelings, thoughts, and beliefs



© 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved.

Monday, March 4, 13
Behavior                        Inclusion     Control     Openness




                    Interpersonal                   Ignored/    Humiliated/   Rejected/
                    Fear                           Abandoned    Embarrassed    Disliked




© 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved.

Monday, March 4, 13
Interpersonal fears
               can lead to...
                                                   Rigidity

© 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved.

Monday, March 4, 13
Inclusion                      Control             Openness


                            Low                    High   Low             High    Low         High




                                                          Humiliated/
                    Ignored/Abandoned                                            Rejected/Disliked
                                                          Embarrassed



© 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved.

Monday, March 4, 13
Our Unspoken Working Agreement


                                                   “Please Lie to Me”
           I won’t…

           …say what I see if you won’t say what you
            see.

           …say what I’m thinking if you won’t say
            what you’re thinking.



© 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved.

Monday, March 4, 13
Our Unspoken Working Agreement


                                                   “Please Lie to Me”
           I won’t…

           …say what I’m really feeling if you won’t
            say what you’re really feeling.

           …say what I want if you won’t say what you
            want.

           …question you if you won’t question me.

© 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved.

Monday, March 4, 13
I pretend…

          …to trust people who I don’t.
          …to listen to people when I’m not.
          …to respect certain people when I don’t.
          …to agree when I don’t.
          …I don’t have to be right or get my way.
          …to be patient.
          …I want to be collaborative.
          …I’m not feeling critical.



© 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved.

Monday, March 4, 13
I pretend…

          …not to be frustrated when I am.
          …to know what I am doing when I don’t.
          …not to be afraid when I am.
          …I don’t want more recognition.
          …to want other people’s opinions.
          …I have things under control.
          …I want feedback.
          …to say what I think and feel.



© 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved.

Monday, March 4, 13
© 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved.

Monday, March 4, 13
© 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved.

Monday, March 4, 13
Opening a Restaurant
             How will you invite your customers to feel:

            Included and                           Competent and in   Liked and treated
            significant                            Control of         in an Open, friendly
                                                   their experience   way



            and reduce concerns they have about being:

            • being ignored                        • humiliated       • rejected
            • passed over                          • shamed           • disliked
            • neglected                            • embarrassed      • judged harshly
            • unimportant                          • foolish          • treated coldly
            • forgotten                            • stupid           • not accepted



© 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved.

Monday, March 4, 13
Psychodrama


                                                                                   Bioenergetics
                                                   Psychosynthesis

                Rolfing



© 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved.

Monday, March 4, 13
Behavior        Inclusion      Control       Openness




                                                   Feelings       Significance   Competence      Likability




                                                   Self-Concept                     Self-         Self-
                                                                   Aliveness
                                                   (behavior)                   Determination   Awareness



                                                   Self-Concept       Self-        Self-
                                                                                                 Self-Like
                                                   (feelings)     Significance   Competence




© 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved.

Monday, March 4, 13
Behavior        Inclusion      Control       Openness




                                                   Feelings       Significance   Competence      Likability




                                                   Self-Concept                     Self-         Self-
                                                                   Aliveness
                                                   (behavior)                   Determination   Awareness



                                                   Self-Concept       Self-        Self-
                                                                                                 Self-Like
                                                   (feelings)     Significance   Competence




© 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved.

Monday, March 4, 13
Feedback

              Imagery/
              Visualization




                                                                                                                                          Assessment Tools
              Structured
                 This vector Illustration was created by DownloadFreeVector.com and it’s 100% royalty free for commercial purposes.
                 You can share it on your site with two backlinks - to DownloadFreeVector.com and to homepage of this vector freebie
                 (use post title as a text for link). In my work I’m using free vector silhouettes and Illustrations

              Experiences
                 from all-silhouettes.com and vectorlady.com (useful resources of free vector illustrations).
                 You are not allowed to share it without backlinks and sell it on stock sites as your own (take care about your karma).


                                                                                                         Self-Perception


© 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved.

Monday, March 4, 13
www.TheHumanElement.com

                                            ethan@theschutzcompany.com

© 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved.

Monday, March 4, 13

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Emotions and Defensiveness In The Workplace

  • 1. Emotions and Defensiveness in the Workplace ODN of Western New York Ethan Schutz © 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved. Monday, March 4, 13
  • 2. Name What you do Why you are here © 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved. Monday, March 4, 13
  • 3. Emotional states “Logic” of emotions Unwanted behavior Staying positive Implications © 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved. Monday, March 4, 13
  • 4. © 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved. Monday, March 4, 13
  • 5. Will Schutz, Ph.D. 1925-2002 © 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved. Monday, March 4, 13
  • 6. © 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved. Monday, March 4, 13
  • 7. Technical competence Compatibility People working well together © 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved. Monday, March 4, 13
  • 8. FIRO® Fundamental Interpersonal Relations Orientation © 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved. Monday, March 4, 13
  • 9. C P Compatibility is directly related to Productivity © 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved. Monday, March 4, 13
  • 10. C P Productive teams created randomly: 50% Productive teams created using FIRO: 75% © 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved. Monday, March 4, 13
  • 11. Harvard University of Chicago University of California Berkeley Albert Einstein School of Medicine © 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved. Monday, March 4, 13
  • 12. Inclusion Control Openness Low High Low High Low High FIRO-B predicted behavior 75% accurately What explained the other 25%? © 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved. Monday, March 4, 13
  • 13. Psychodrama Bioenergetics Psychosynthesis Rolfing © 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved. Monday, March 4, 13
  • 14. Rigidity Enemy of teamwork and good relationships © 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved. Monday, March 4, 13
  • 15. Rigidity ...stems from fears © 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved. Monday, March 4, 13
  • 16. Sad Happy Angry Content Disappointed Satisfied Weak Strong Nervous Confident Confused Capable Scared Joyous © 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved. Monday, March 4, 13
  • 17. Make decisions Solve problems Fear Handle conflict affects our Listen to others capacity to Speak to others View others Use time and energy © 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved. Monday, March 4, 13
  • 18. Individual People System Task Service Product Process Network Relationships Compatibility Individual Individual © 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved. Monday, March 4, 13
  • 19. Task System People Individual Relationships Compatibility Process Network Service Product © 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved. Monday, March 4, 13
  • 20. Behavior Inclusion Control Openness © 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved. Monday, March 4, 13
  • 21. Inclusion 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 Low High The amount of contact with other people © 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved. Monday, March 4, 13
  • 22. Control 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 Low High The structure of the interaction with other people, including directing and decision-making © 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved. Monday, March 4, 13
  • 23. Openness 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 Low High The depth of the interaction with other people— expressing feelings, thoughts, and beliefs © 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved. Monday, March 4, 13
  • 24. Behavior Inclusion Control Openness Interpersonal Ignored/ Humiliated/ Rejected/ Fear Abandoned Embarrassed Disliked © 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved. Monday, March 4, 13
  • 25. Interpersonal fears can lead to... Rigidity © 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved. Monday, March 4, 13
  • 26. Inclusion Control Openness Low High Low High Low High Humiliated/ Ignored/Abandoned Rejected/Disliked Embarrassed © 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved. Monday, March 4, 13
  • 27. Our Unspoken Working Agreement “Please Lie to Me” I won’t… …say what I see if you won’t say what you see. …say what I’m thinking if you won’t say what you’re thinking. © 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved. Monday, March 4, 13
  • 28. Our Unspoken Working Agreement “Please Lie to Me” I won’t… …say what I’m really feeling if you won’t say what you’re really feeling. …say what I want if you won’t say what you want. …question you if you won’t question me. © 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved. Monday, March 4, 13
  • 29. I pretend… …to trust people who I don’t. …to listen to people when I’m not. …to respect certain people when I don’t. …to agree when I don’t. …I don’t have to be right or get my way. …to be patient. …I want to be collaborative. …I’m not feeling critical. © 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved. Monday, March 4, 13
  • 30. I pretend… …not to be frustrated when I am. …to know what I am doing when I don’t. …not to be afraid when I am. …I don’t want more recognition. …to want other people’s opinions. …I have things under control. …I want feedback. …to say what I think and feel. © 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved. Monday, March 4, 13
  • 31. © 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved. Monday, March 4, 13
  • 32. © 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved. Monday, March 4, 13
  • 33. Opening a Restaurant How will you invite your customers to feel: Included and Competent and in Liked and treated significant Control of in an Open, friendly their experience way and reduce concerns they have about being: • being ignored • humiliated • rejected • passed over • shamed • disliked • neglected • embarrassed • judged harshly • unimportant • foolish • treated coldly • forgotten • stupid • not accepted © 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved. Monday, March 4, 13
  • 34. Psychodrama Bioenergetics Psychosynthesis Rolfing © 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved. Monday, March 4, 13
  • 35. Behavior Inclusion Control Openness Feelings Significance Competence Likability Self-Concept Self- Self- Aliveness (behavior) Determination Awareness Self-Concept Self- Self- Self-Like (feelings) Significance Competence © 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved. Monday, March 4, 13
  • 36. Behavior Inclusion Control Openness Feelings Significance Competence Likability Self-Concept Self- Self- Aliveness (behavior) Determination Awareness Self-Concept Self- Self- Self-Like (feelings) Significance Competence © 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved. Monday, March 4, 13
  • 37. Feedback Imagery/ Visualization Assessment Tools Structured This vector Illustration was created by DownloadFreeVector.com and it’s 100% royalty free for commercial purposes. You can share it on your site with two backlinks - to DownloadFreeVector.com and to homepage of this vector freebie (use post title as a text for link). In my work I’m using free vector silhouettes and Illustrations Experiences from all-silhouettes.com and vectorlady.com (useful resources of free vector illustrations). You are not allowed to share it without backlinks and sell it on stock sites as your own (take care about your karma). Self-Perception © 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved. Monday, March 4, 13
  • 38. www.TheHumanElement.com ethan@theschutzcompany.com © 2013, The Schutz Company. All rights reserved. Monday, March 4, 13