10 baby names guaranteed to get your kid's ass kicked.

1. By: NobleWorks Cards
Spanx, Harshit and Prince
10 baby names guaranteed to get your kid’s ass kicked.

2. Dorcus
I don't care how magical and Harry Potterish
this sounds, your kid will never forgive you
for sentencing her to this name that sounds
like an insult all on its own. On a dork scale
from 1 to 10, I give it a dorcus maximus.

3. Vegas
Whether you were married by Elvis,
thrown out of the casino for counting
cards, or conceived your child while in a
drunken stupor on the strip, what happens
inVegas stays inVegas. So should this
name.

4. Harshit
I kid you not, this is an actual name in
Sanskrit. When translated in English
it means full of happiness. When
translated by his peers on the
playground, it means full of horse
dung. A harshitty name if ever I heard
one.
.

5. P.P.
Yes, initial names can be cool. A.J.,
J.D., C.J. - initials that are a common
euphemism for urine? Not #1 on my
list. P.S.: I wouldn't name your
daughter B.J. either.

6. Rectum
In general, I'd pass on the names
associated with any bodily organ
(i.e., Spleen, Pancreas, etc.), but
this one especially sucks ass.

7. Baby
As original as naming your
kitty, cat. No one puts baby
in a corner, and no one with a
rightful mind puts “Baby” on
a birth certificate.

8. Spanx
Names that end with the letter x are becoming
increasingly popular these days, and although
Jax and Maddox will earn them street cred, the
brand name of mommy's thigh-slimming
pantyhose/undies/scuba shorts will earn them
xtra doses of daily taunting. In short, ix nay on
the anx spay.

9. Pierre
Unless you live in gay Paree, I'd avoid
gifting your kid with a snooty
European name that may be
considered tres chic across the
Atlantic but tres queenie in the
continental US.

10. Hitler
Unless you're hoping to pave the way for the
next most evil dictator of the 21st century,
I’d skip this unforgivable Nazilike namesake
that will leave your kid friendless. No one
wants to leave their kid with Hitler in a
sandbox.

11. Prince
Unless he pees purple rain, try to
refrain from giving him a name
otherwise reserved for royalty. Side
note - adding the middle name
Albert makes it an even more
piercing no no.

12. NobleWorks Cards
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