How to make sure a dog is comfortable in his or her new home! As written by a real life dog.

1. Moving With Your
Beloved Canine
How to make sure I’m comfortable in my new home.
Boxcar Rose Hunt

2. I’m sure you’d like to prevent this, so...

3. I definitely will need this.
Mink fur coat. $725
Perfect to keep me warm during the
winter in this awful new place that
smells funny.

4. And this.
22K Gold-Thread
Mattress. $3000
Will combat the allergies that I only
developed because we moved.

5. Complete darkness for my REM cycle.
Louis XV Pet Pavilion.
$23,990
Put that gold mattress in here and we’re all set.

6. Lady Gaga would buy me this so you
should too.
Versace Barocco Pet Bowl. $754
I bet Asia has one.

7. If you really loved me, you would buy this.
52-Carat Diamond Dog Collar.
$1.8 million
Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?

8. I should get a new house too.
Dog House with Plasma TV
and Spa. $410,825
It won’t bother you when I watch Game of Bones.
Spa is perfect for a massage since I don’t have a
gold thread mattress yet.

9. Thank you for your time.
The End.