The document provides examples of concise and clear writing from Watson and Crick's seminal paper suggesting the double helix structure of DNA. It contrasts their writing with examples of wordy and unclear writing from other scientific papers. The key aspects that made Watson and Crick's introduction effective include its direct statement of purpose, focus on the main point without unnecessary context, use of short and direct sentences, repetition of important words, and precise word choices.

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2. What’s easier
than destroying
the evidence?

3. What’s cheaper
than destroying
the evidence?

23. Effective Writing
• Clear
• Simple
• Easy to understand
• Impossible to misunderstand
• Error free

24. • Spend some time thinking before you start writing your
rough draft.

25. • Spend some time thinking before you start writing your
rough draft.
• Compile a list of your ideas as you are thinking.

26. • Spend some time thinking before you start writing your
rough draft.
• Compile a list of your ideas as you are thinking.
• Place the list in some order that makes sense to you.

27. • Spend some time thinking before you start writing your
rough draft.
• Compile a list of your ideas as you are thinking.
• Place the list in some order that makes sense to you.
• Write the rough draft.

28. • Spend some time thinking before you start writing your
rough draft.
• Compile a list of your ideas as you are thinking.
• Place the list in some order that makes sense to you.
• Write the rough draft.
• Write a final draft that shows some changes from the initial
draft.

29. 1. After you finish writing it, put it away until you’ve forgotten what you
wrote. You want to look at it again with “fresh eyes.” Instead of
seeing what you meant to write, you want to see what you actually
did write.
Five Tips For Editing Your
Own Writing

30. 1. After you finish writing it, put it away until you’ve forgotten what you
wrote. You want to look at it again with “fresh eyes.” Instead of
seeing what you meant to write, you want to see what you actually
did write.
2. Print your manuscript and edit it on paper. Away from the
computer. You’ll see more.
Five Tips For Editing Your
Own Writing

31. 1. After you finish writing it, put it away until you’ve forgotten what you
wrote. You want to look at it again with “fresh eyes.” Instead of
seeing what you meant to write, you want to see what you actually
did write.
2. Print your manuscript and edit it on paper. Away from the
computer. You’ll see more.
3. Read it aloud. You’ll automatically simplify it that way, which is
always good.
Five Tips For Editing Your
Own Writing

32. 1. After you finish writing it, put it away until you’ve forgotten what you
wrote. You want to look at it again with “fresh eyes.” Instead of
seeing what you meant to write, you want to see what you actually
did write.
2. Print your manuscript and edit it on paper. Away from the
computer. You’ll see more.
3. Read it aloud. You’ll automatically simplify it that way, which is
always good.
4. Use the spelling and grammar features in your word processor.
They aren’t perfect – ask anybody – but if you know the rules, you
can decide which suggestions to accept and which to ignore.
Five Tips For Editing Your
Own Writing

33. 1. After you finish writing it, put it away until you’ve forgotten what you
wrote. You want to look at it again with “fresh eyes.” Instead of
seeing what you meant to write, you want to see what you actually
did write.
2. Print your manuscript and edit it on paper. Away from the
computer. You’ll see more.
3. Read it aloud. You’ll automatically simplify it that way, which is
always good.
4. Use the spelling and grammar features in your word processor.
They aren’t perfect – ask anybody – but if you know the rules, you
can decide which suggestions to accept and which to ignore.
5. Print it again. You missed something. Ink and toner cartridges are
a racket, aren’t they?
Five Tips For Editing Your
Own Writing

34. Bonus Tip: After I do all that, I show
my writing to my lovely wife, and she
shows me what else I missed. Who
do you use?
Five Tips For Editing Your
Own Writing

35. Why should you self-edit if
you’re just going to hire an
editor anyway? Why not make
him do everything? Helping
him probably won’t lower his
price.

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39. Writers Show How It’s Not Done
Studies indicate that 25 (OH) vitamin D is most likely
transferred by a passive or facilitative process
transplacentally.

40. Writers Show How It’s Not Done
Studies indicate that 25 (OH) vitamin D is most likely
transferred by a passive or facilitative process
transplacentally.
Studies indicate that 25 (OH) vitamin D is most likely
transferred passively or actively across the placenta.

41. Writers Show How It’s Not Done
Thus, it would seem reasonable that shortening of 10 cm
at skeletal maturity or predicted shortening of this amount
when the child reaches adulthood would be sufficient to
consider Syme amputation.

42. Writers Show How It’s Not Done
Thus, it would seem reasonable that shortening of 10 cm
at skeletal maturity or predicted shortening of this amount
when the child reaches adulthood would be sufficient to
consider Syme amputation.
A Syme amputation should be considered for a shortening
or predicted shortening of 10 cm at skeletal maturity.

43. Writers Show How It’s Not Done
If the organism demonstrates to be a staph on the gram
stain, one may consider drilling the femoral neck for
prophylactic decompression as this may be secondary to
a metaphyseal osteomyelitis.

44. Writers Show How It’s Not Done
If the organism demonstrates to be a staph on the gram
stain, one may consider drilling the femoral neck for
prophylactic decompression as this may be secondary to
a metaphyseal osteomyelitis.
If the gram stain shows staphylococci, consider drilling the
femoral neck to drain the metaphyseal abscess.

45. Writers Show How It’s Not Done
A 3-year-old female presented with pain and swelling of
the right elbow and was noted to have decreased use of
the arm.

46. Writers Show How It’s Not Done
A 3-year-old female presented with pain and swelling of
the right elbow and was noted to have decreased use of
the arm.
A 3-year-old girl had pain and swelling of her right elbow
and decreased use of her arm.

47. Writers Show How It’s Not Done
It has been suggested that the utilization of surgical
intervention be deferred until attenuation of the infectious
symptomatology.

48. Writers Show How It’s Not Done
It has been suggested that the utilization of surgical
intervention be deferred until attenuation of the infectious
symptomatology.
Jones recommends that surgery be delayed if the patient
has an infection.

49. Writers Show How It’s Not Done
It is common for the need to voluntarily evacuate the
pouch to occur on one occasion nightly; more frequent
defecation interfering with the patient’s sleep has not been
encountered in our continent patients.

50. Writers Show How It’s Not Done
It is common for the need to voluntarily evacuate the
pouch to occur on one occasion nightly; more frequent
defecation interfering with the patient’s sleep has not been
encountered in our continent patients.
Patients who are continent need only empty their stomach
pouches once each night.

51. Writers Show How It’s Not Done
The study confirmed the hypothesis that clinical instructors
of undergraduate medical students would choose
instructional techniques limiting active student involvement
in patient care activities when faced with problematical
situations.

52. Writers Show How It’s Not Done
The study confirmed the hypothesis that clinical instructors
of undergraduate medical students would choose
instructional techniques limiting active student involvement
in patient care activities when faced with problematical
situations.
.....wait for it.....

53. Writers Show How It’s Not Done
The study confirmed the hypothesis that clinical instructors
of undergraduate medical students would choose
instructional techniques limiting active student involvement
in patient care activities when faced with problematical
situations.
Medical teachers of undergraduates tend not to let
students look after difficult patients.

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55. Watson and Crick show how it’s done
We wish to suggest a structure for the salt of deoxyribose nucleic acid
(D.N.A.). This structure has novel features which are of considerable
biological interest.
Why is this a good example?

56. Watson and Crick show how it’s done
We wish to suggest a structure for the salt of deoxyribose nucleic acid
(D.N.A.). This structure has novel features which are of considerable
biological interest.
Why is this a good example?
•It is direct. “We wish to suggest…” not In this communication is made a
suggestion….

57. Watson and Crick show how it’s done
We wish to suggest a structure for the salt of deoxyribose nucleic acid
(D.N.A.). This structure has novel features which are of considerable
biological interest.
Why is this a good example?
•It comes straight to the point. They could have started with a general statement
about DNA: Deoxyribose nucleic acid is a nucleotide that has been isolated from
many species. We wish to suggest…. To write this would have reduced the
impact.

58. Watson and Crick show how it’s done
We wish to suggest a structure for the salt of deoxyribose nucleic acid
(D.N.A.). This structure has novel features which are of considerable
biological interest.
Why is this a good example?
•They make two simple statements in two short sentences. They could have
linked the sentences: We wish to suggest a structure for the salt of DNA that has
novel features that are of considerable biological interest. This version is more
clumsy and also ambiguous: it is not clear now whether it is the suggested
structure, or the salt of DNA itself, that has the novel features.

59. Watson and Crick show how it’s done
We wish to suggest a structure for the salt of deoxyribose nucleic acid
(D.N.A.). This structure has novel features which are of considerable
biological interest.
Why is this a good example?
•They are not afraid of using the same word, structure, twice. Many writers would
have started the second sentence with a pronoun, such as It…, or used a
synonym, such as This configuration…; neither device would have been as
effective as repeating structure.

60. Watson and Crick show how it’s done
We wish to suggest a structure for the salt of deoxyribose nucleic acid
(D.N.A.). This structure has novel features which are of considerable
biological interest.
Why is this a good example?
•Every word is necessary: “We wish to suggest a structure for the salt…” not We
propose a possible structural hypothesis concerning the salt…. They even avoid
molecular structure, there being no other type of structure to which they could be
referring. And, while most writers would probably write We would like to… they
use the elegant “We wish to…”.

61. Watson and Crick show how it’s done
We wish to suggest a structure for the salt of deoxyribose nucleic acid
(D.N.A.). This structure has novel features which are of considerable
biological interest.
Why is this a good example?
•Every word is the correct word, particularly novel (of new kind or nature, strange,
hitherto unknown.) They write “features which are of considerable biological
interest” not features associated with considerable biological interest.

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